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Friday Yuk

By GuruOfDos ·
The doggies held a conference; they came from near and far.
Some of them came by train or plane and some by bus or car.
As each noble canine queued to sign the delegates book.
Each doggy took his arsehole off and hung it on a hook.

Well as they were convening, each purebred dam and sire,
Some dirty rotten ******* came in and shouted "FIRE!"
The dogs were in a panic and they had no time to look,
So as they ran they grabbed an arsehole off the nearest hook.

They ran out of the conference hall. Four ways they did scatter.
With assorted mis-matched arseholes - you may ask "Does it matter?"
Well, this is why you see today a dog will leave a bone
To sniff another's arsehole...to see if it's their own!

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Isn't is funny.....

by GuruOfDos In reply to Friday Yuk

....how they edit out 'a r s e h o l e' - singular, but leave in 'a r s e h o l e s', plural?!!

So does that mean one is offensive but a whole bunch of arseholes (politicians, corporate management, Microsoft - delete as applicable!) is acceptable? Must be!

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love the explanation!

by gadgetgirl In reply to Isn't is funny.....

of why a bunch gets through!

Must admit, when emailing this to a mate, I substituted the word "appendage" - and that got through, too!

- and are we the only ones who have realised it's Friday? Bit quiet here, isn't it?

GG

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Hmmm

by GuruOfDos In reply to love the explanation!

Tis lunchtime...Oz and the others over the other side of the pond haven't even finished their breakfast yet!

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It's true

by Goliathkutaa In reply to Hmmm

I'm just starting into my first cup of java.

I saw this, and thought it was good. Have a good weekend all!

A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The civil engineer interrupted and said "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"

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I could make a crass comment

by dnvrtechgrrl In reply to It's true

about the 8th day and the creation of Microsoft 3.1 - but I'll spare us all.

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Nah

by Oz_Media In reply to Hmmm

I woke up in a foreign country. Checked the daily paranoia meter on TV and fled for Canada again. :)

Oh, I got those dates too, will send em on later if I get home before I fall asleep.

GreenMan is apparently not a great idea, but I have two dates for Ruskin that would be worth it.

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And here, I thought...

by Jessie In reply to love the explanation!

Right up to the end of that joke, I was thinking it was the OTHER appendage they were hanging up... and that'd be why thy like to lick themselves... cuz it tastes like somebody else's... or something like that.

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Why not

by Oz_Media In reply to Isn't is funny.....

We vote for them

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Heres a few

by ccthompson In reply to Friday Yuk

A stoner stumbles out of a party...

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home.
One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled.

The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!"

The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!"

________________________________________________
Drunken Confession

Two drunks are at a bar, drinking up a storm.

One drunk says to the other drunk, ?Did you sleep with my wife last night??

To which the other drunk replies, ?Not a wink.?
________________________________________________

rother is

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one **** of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

________________________________________________

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Celebrating?

by jdclyde In reply to Heres a few

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots of tequilla, which he slams one after another.

When he is done, the bartender asks what the occasion is.

"first blowjob" the man replies.

"Out celebrating?" the bartender asks?

To which the man replies, "no, trying to kill the taste."

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