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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
The Top 5 Signs an Airline No Longer Gives a Crap

Your flight to L.A. lands at every Stuckey's between Nashville and Flagstaff.

During the safety demo, instead of using the prop provided by the airline, the flight attendant grabs the oxygen mask off of the old guy in the first row.

Your request for connection information gets you: "Sure, your lips and my ***."

The pilot announces that the flight will be delayed until he's done with the flight attendant.

"If anyone on board knows Arabic, the captain would like your help playing a little trick on those whiny brats in the control tower."
________________________________________

The Top 5 Signs Your Company Is Planning a Layoff


Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.

Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.

Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Attic.

Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Company Is Planning a Layoff...

President begins weekly meetings, "Good morning, you ignorant bastards."


HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND ALL!

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I think...

by Jellimonsta In reply to Friday Yuk

I took a flight on that airline before :)

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Worse

by Oz_Media In reply to I think...

I've had a pilot ask me to hold the gas nozzle and refuel the plane while he went and talked to a girl on the dock.

We get some pretty scary, yet VERY experienced bush pilots up here. A loat plane from Vancouver to Victoria will scare most people off, taking that plane to a small lake lending is a LOT scarier though, you NEVER believe that they can take off before plowing into a mountain on the other side of the lake, but they do.

There are a coiple of routes into Part Hardy that they take, most are up through the straight so it a nice bay landing, others come in straight off a mountain and practially nose dive to within feet of the bay before levelling out and pulling into the docks.

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Oh, I see you've flown Air Canada!!!

by sleepin'dawg In reply to I think...

That's about it for service.

Dawg

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Air BC

by Oz_Media In reply to Oh, I see you've flown Ai ...

BC Air or whatever name they are using this week to avoid lawsuits.

Ever watch Wings Over Canada?

If so, that's it in a nutshell.

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Ain't that the truth

by codejock In reply to Oh, I see you've flown Ai ...

One of my sign offs on chat is, "Air Canada: Enjoy our new Cattle Class Service provided by real Mad Cows"

(To be completely PC -- I apologize to the female readers for such an obviously sexist remark.)

I know for a fact, people, that this is an airline where in-flight personnel refers to passengers behind their backs as "Pigs in Space". Heard it with my own ears -- on an aircraft -- in the galley -- in the air.

Won't fly them. Wasn't particularly sad if they went toes-up. Alas, they survived. They can do so without my money.

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Joke for programmers

by Montgomery Gator In reply to Friday Yuk

Two strings walk into a bar. The first string says to the bartender: 'Bartender, I'll have a beer. u.5n$x5t?*&4ru!=$%~`~ErJ'. The second string says: 'Pardon my friend, he isn't NULL terminated'.

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That's an odd'twist'

by Oz_Media In reply to Joke for programmers

I though you were going to offer the other one.

Two strings walk into a bar, one goes to the bar and the batender refuses and points to a sign, NO SERVICE FOR STRING.

So he slumps back into his table and tells the other string. The second string says "OH YEAH?", Twists himself up and ruffles up his hair and goes to the bartender who once again points to the sign and says "Aren't YOU string"

The string says, "I'm a frayed knot".

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Old ASCII Joke...

by Fonken Monken UK In reply to That's an odd'twist'

what did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt!

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The early yuk

by house In reply to Friday Yuk

http://tinyurl.com/55mfs

For those of us who were not involved.

..especially the response to pgm554 regarding Experts Exchange

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What a pr**k

by Oz_Media In reply to The early yuk

YEAH YOU, BFILM FAN!!

Like I said, this guy's gotta go! :)

Having the ONLY unrated answer in that thread is kinda funny considering my post, though.

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