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by oz_media

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Sign of the times
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was probably having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and that this would reflect badly on the whole family, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He recommended that she arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

That evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about her visit to the doctor and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying:

"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for our American peers,

Army Private Jones was filling out a questionnaire for an online correspondence course. He wasn't sure what to put for one of the questions: "How long as your present employer been in business?"

So he shrugged and put, "Since 1776."

80 replies

by deepsand

would seem to be the obvious solution.

As an accessory, I would add a very fine toothed comb for use in brushing her teeth after the date.

by oz_media

STD's don't even seem to be an issue of either party in THAT joke, suppose it's old enough to date back before such awareness when the issue was pregnancy.

I had a kid when I was REALLY young, I made it through though and 19 years later I still can't say enough on children being aware of the consequences. Often a joke between my son and I when he gets on my nerves, though we don't see too much of each other nowadays since living so far apart.

But STD's what's that? I would have though it was a new oil company trying to confuse consumers into buying STP.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopus

by sleepin'dawg

Quotes About Dogs

Dogs

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his tongue." -Anonymous

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful." -Ann Landers

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
went." -Will Rogers

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself." -Josh Billings

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -Andrew A.
Rooney

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever
made." -M.Facklam

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who
are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate." -Sigmund
Freud

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons..." -James Thurber

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down." -Robert Benchley

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult." -Rita Rudner

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current
events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of
late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are
often continued in the next yard." Dave Barry

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
-Franklin P. Jones

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can..
That's almost $21.00 in dog money." - Joe Weinstein

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a
dog,it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from
a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a
cow.... They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -Anne Tyler

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea." -Robert A. Heinlein

Pet Rules--Memo to the Family Dog and Cat

1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean
switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in
the way.

2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All
other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a
paw or nose-print in the middle of my dinner does not stake your
claim on it, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in any way.)

3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Locate your
inner beast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up
in a ball, so it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
won't help to claw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. (Trust me, I have been
using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not
mandatory.)

7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a
sudden leap onto my stomach and drop a chew toy, bone or jingle ball
on my crotch, no matter how much that makes other family members
laugh.

8. Dog: Don't think for a minute that making a sad face and
whimpering pathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a
puddle of pee on the carpet. The face and the whimpering only
validate that you knew it was wrong when you did it.

9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a
signal for you to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most
disgusting hairball in history.

10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself.
I cannot stress this enough.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here; you don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.

3. I like my pet(s) better than I like most people.

4. To you it's an animal. To me, it's an adopted child who is short,
hairy, walks on all fours and is speech-challenged.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to
train, usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive
your car, don't hang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, and
don't worry about the latest fashions.

Strange Epitaphs From Near And Far

1. Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

2. Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

3. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

4. A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

5. Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:

I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

6. Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in
the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

7. In a Georgia cemetery:

"I told you I was sick!"

8. John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

9. On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:

She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

10. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.

11. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that
sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

12. More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:

Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.

13. Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

14. On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

15. The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a
consumer tip:

Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

16. Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

17. In a cemetary in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.

- To which someone replied by writing on the tombstome:

To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.

18. On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.

19. In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

20. A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.

21. In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

22. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

by oz_media

They look like giant condoms, I know what you are referring to but there are female condoms too.

by sleepin'dawg

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

1. Dogs don't cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

17. Dogs don't shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog's parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be
hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can
shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don't worry about germs.

35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet,
desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster
one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

46. Dogs can't talk.

47. Dogs aren't catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.

by jaqui

52 REASONS WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:

1 Dogs always think you're smart and don't make fun of your shortcomings

2 Dogs are willing to sleep on a rug and fetch on command

3 Dogs spend less time worrying about hair loss

4 A dogs old buddies don't show up on doorstep unexpectedly

5 Dogs are utterly disinterested in professional sports

6 Your parents find them easier to like

7 Dogs are rarely jealous of your former boyfriends

8 Dogs are willing to hold your purse in public

9 Dogs are unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately following intense play

10 Dogs don't complain when you want to go for a walk

11 Dogs are willing to eat anything you put on their plate and will always want more

12 Dogs tend to bathe themselves daily, men must be encouraged to do so

13 You can put a dog in a crate when you don't feel like having it around

14 Dogs expect to go outside on leashes... men think they can do everything on their own

15 Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

16 Dogs miss you when you're gone.

17 You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.

18 Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

19 Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.

20 Dogs don't criticize your friends.

21 Dogs admit when they're jealous.

22 Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

23 Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).

24 Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.

25 Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

26 You can train a dog.

27 Dogs are easy to buy for.

28 Dogs are good with kids.

29 Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.

30 You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

31 Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.

32 The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)

33 Dogs understand what NO means.

34 Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.

35 Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

36 Dogs do not read at the table.

37 You can house train a dog.

38 Dogs don't correct your stories.

39 Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

40 Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

41 Dogs love to dance

42 Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.

43 Dogs admit it when they're lost.

44 Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.

45 Dogs look at your eyes.

46 Dogs like your size.

47 Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.

48 Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

49 Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

50 Dogs are nice to your relatives.

51 Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

52 Dogs don't care how you dress.

by cp7212

21 Dogs admit when they're jealous.

43 Dogs admit it when they're lost.

If your dogs tell you these things, I'd love to buy your pet. I can quit this stressful job and start making some cash.

by sleepin'dawg

A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A
slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's
this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. "A bowl of soup,
homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for
food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you
like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a
rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. Naw, still not hungry."

Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

Dawg ]:)

by cuteelf

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

=======================
Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what
would you like them to say? "

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

---------------------------------------------------------------
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord. . . "God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks," Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute."

by oz_media

I like the casket joke, but then again I'm a pretty warped guy that wouldn't hesitate to say that at at open casket funeral anyway.

by hal 9000

Yesterday I attended A MS Partners Meeting all about Security 2005 I think it was called. Anyway I'll over look the obvious references to wuss from MS as I'm reliably informed that the US Peers will not understand what it means here in AU. Although I would have loved to be at the first meeting when it was brought up just to see their faces.

But I did like this one directly from the lips of the keynote speaker

Windows 2003 with SP1 is the most secure Windows ever developed. It was exactly the same wording used when 2003 was released with the exception that they added the SP1 in.

They then went on to explain how to turn off receiving attachments on the mail server and when asked what we thought of that several answers where quite to the point, they all said they would be fired in under 10 minutes if they did that because their business relied on receiving attachments for their core work. Apparently most where Lawyers offices where they just got the Legal Documents e-mailed to them as attachments. They then went about suggesting that instead of disallowing all attachments they only certain types be disallowed. It was at this time that I asked well while some of my clients sell multi million $ equipment they have to send pictures of this stuff all around the world and receive pictures as well normally jpeg but sometimes in different formats.

They started that speech 30 minutes late and ended 15 minutes early a good example of following MS advertising of "Do More With Less!" ;)

Col [:)

by hal 9000

Except for the poofter bit it's accurate. ;)

I really can not understand just why MS would call their new update system that is supposed to cover all of their products at one web site WUS {Windows Upgrade Service" I would have thought that something like MUS {Microsoft Upgrade Service} would have been the go. Unless of course it means something different in the US.

But I really would have loved to see the look on their faces at the first presentation when the whole audience burst out laughing at these very Upright MS workers who just didn't understand what they where saying. :D

Of course I was at the fifth presentation so the idea had finally sunk in and they where prepared for the response and even finding excuses. :(

Col ]:)

by jessie

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender
pours him the drink and the guy swallows it.

"Wow", says the bartender, "Had a rough day?". "I got off work
early today," answered the guy, "went up to the bedroom, and
there was my wife having sex with my best friend."

The bartender pours the guy another shot. "This one's on the
house." The guy destroys it once again.

The bartender asks, "Did you say anything to your wife?" The guy
answers, "Yep, I walked up to her, told her we're through."
"What about your friend?" asks the bartender. "I looked him
straight in the eye and said BAD DOG!"

by jdclyde

You know what guys like.

Like Foxworthy says, we aren't complicated. We just want a beer and to look at something naked. How could that be wrong?

by jessie

I wouldn't call the mother's reaction "approval" per se... though there's certainly nothing WRONG with baby going after "the tap." I'd call it more of an embarrassed acceptance of the comedy of the situation.

My 4 year old daughter often nurses her dolls... and frequently in public. She'll pull her baby doll right out of it's little play-stroller, and stick it up her shirt because "baby's hungry." I find this to be funny, while slightly embarassing, and not a little bit liberating, because, unlike myself and many women of my generation, my daughter will grow up believing that nursing your infant is a perfectly acceptable natural act.

I realize that most of the tech-types on this male dominated site couldn't really care less about the plight of the nursing mother, but it's a subject close to my heart, figuratively as well as literally. I wish people would understand that there's nothing filthy or sexual about feeding an infant from it's God-intended source.

And personally, I find that picture hilarious and adorable!!!

by oz_media

When I was young, living in my dad's hotel/pub in England, I was caught more than once drinking from the taps. It was hard because unlike taps here, in England you actually DRAW the pint from the tap, it's not just a pump switch.

But I still managed to pull a handle and get some really bad beer from the taps. I had to laugh because my mum's got a similar picture of me climbing to the taps.

by jdclyde

A young man walks into a bar and asks for three shots of taquilla.

He then slams them all, on after the other.

The bartender asks "What is the occasion?"

The young man replies "First blowjob".

The bartender asks "Celebrating?"

"No, trying to kill the taste"

by jellimonsta

I agree completely!... my wife nursed my daughter and she will nurse any other chidlren we are granted. Mothers milk has been proven time and again to be very beneficial for the baby.

by jdclyde

Got twin boys and they turned out great. They started out small (premies) but this got them through.

Not to mention then I didn't have to do the night time feedings......

by jaqui

same here, the humour in it is what I enjoy.

my own experience with children had me looking at moms reaction as an embarassed giggle.
just as I have done when my daughter has said or done something a bit odd.

by oz_media

I nursed my son until he got old enough to realize I didn't really have t*ts and just needed to hit the gym for a bit. ;)

by jessie

:p That particular visual brought back such memories... of my infant daughter sleeping in bed next to her Daddy, she decided she was hungry, rolled over to my hubby and "latched on." I don't think I've ever heard such a squeal out of him. He was a bit offended at my mirth... but I STILL think it was funny!

by hal 9000

The opener would be on the front of the case. That way you are less likely to tip the case over when you want a drink. ;)

Col ]:)

by jessie

it'd get in the way of the drives, better to just put some "feet" on the bottom of the case to stabilize.

by oz_media

They'll never be able to PUT THE SEAT BACK UP when they're finished that way!

I have a small sign over mine that says don't forget to put the seat up when you're finished. I think it's terribly inconsiderate of women to leave it down all the time, I wake up in the middle of the night and end up peeing all over the seat because SOMEONE has forgotten to put it up!

WOMEN !!

by hal 9000

Over here we have a show called "The New Inventors" and one of the inventions that was shown a few weeks ago was an alarm to make the males put the seat back down after they had gone.

The funny thing was it was invented by a 13 year old boy, it wasn't one of the featured inventions but just one of interest and the whole panel had to say something about it being a male who invented something so important to women. ;)

Col ]:)

by jessie

but at 13, still HEAVILY influenced by his mother... give him a few more years, and he'll be really embarrassed by the fact that he invented something like that.

by oz_media

Place a ping-pong ball under the seat cover where it meets the lid. That way it doesn't stay up unless held, but if you have a smoke or a drink to hold in the other hand it gets pretty nasty.
My ex did the ping-pog ball once, which I followed up by removing the seat; thus the qualifying, 'my EX'.

by hal 9000

Perhaps use it as a desktop theme on my LT when ever I go to MS Partner Meetings how do you think that would work out? ;)

Col ]:)

by jaqui

send copy to every user on your network.

when they ask to be able to change the settings tell them it will cost them 7 grand each to be told.
as that knowledge is extremely confidential, not covered by contract with company.

:D

by hal 9000

Recently in a shopping center there was a woman breast feeding her infant and it was the women who where complaining, there was one old dear tearing strips off the young girl feeding her child for her behavior. Personally to me it meant nothing more than a quite baby which to me at least is a dam side better than some infant squeaking its head off. But the young woman was nearly reduced to tears for feeding her child by the way that she was treated by the so called older adults.

I had to tell the old girl to pull her head in and behave if she was so offended go elsewhere and don't look! Did you know what was happening yes! Could you see anything no! So what was the big deal?

Personally I didn't give a dam and if it means a quite infant I'm all for it no matter where or when.

Col ]:)

by jessie

Your point is, unfortunately, entirely too true. It's been my experience that men, for the most part, don't care how you feed that baby, just get it to shut up! And of course, if there's a chance of seeing a little something... well, it's all good ;)

Women, especially women between the ages of about 90 and 50, were brainwashed by the formula manufacturers into believing that breastfeeding is a disgusting sexual act that will cause irreperable damage to your infant's psyche, not to mention that it's bad for them physically. And while all of that is completely untrue, there are still those out there who believe it. Most of the rest of society is merely "uncomfortable" about the possiblity, however remote, of seeing a naked breast.

by jaqui

some males that have evolved past the neandrethal stage.

breasts aren't genitals.
they are exactly the same as a guys beard.
a SECONDARY characteristic.

( I much prefer looking at breasts on woman than beards on a guy )

by hal 9000

Of an area in Japan and one case in the US where some heavy metals contaminated in the case of Japan a large sea front area and in the US a cow milking additive was some how replaced with a slow acting poison both caused a cumulative effect on the body as the people couldn't get rid the the metals mercury if I remember correctly in Japan and I'm not sure what it was in the US. However it was only the Lactating Females who could dispose of the contaminates through their breast milk which wasn't so good for the children involved. So to some extent these "Old Biddies" are right but only in extreme circumstances otherwise both my wife and myself always believed that "Breast is Best" but I'm not so sure now as it defiantly has created a bond between the children and their mother and 30 years latter the eldest can not move more than a few miles from home and he constantly calls his mother to do things for him.

Actually I think that a movie was made about the case in the US from memory it was called "Bitter Harvest" and the one thing that stuck in my mind was how the Social Workers where convinced that the infant of one of the people involved was being mistreated by the parents because of the poisoning.

Anyway I'm ranting on again which isn't all that hard for me but I certainly can not understand just how some people believe this type of rubbish, but just to show how attitudes do change when my eldest was born I was treated as some kind of weirdo for wanting to be there for the birth and 18 months or so latter it was the expected thing to do. I couldn't believe the change in such a short a time at the same hospital.

But then again we had a politician thrown out of the house for breast feeding her infant during the sitting of the house recently their excuse was not that she was breast feeding the child but that the child was an unwanted intruder into the inner sanctum of politics. ;)

Col ]:)

by jessie

copied from:

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/rosapark.htm

Claim: The state of Missouri named a stretch of highway adopted by the Ku Klux Klan the "Rosa Parks Highway."

Status: True.

Examples: [Collected on the Internet, 2001]

I'm sure many of you are aware that about two weeks ago, the US Supreme Court ruled that the state of Missouri cannot discriminate against the Ku Klux Klan when it comes to groups that want to participate in the adopt-a-highway program. Of course, while the name of the Klan is aesthetically disgusting, we'd all agree that this decision is a victory for free speech and equal protection under the law, right?

Well, the DOT in Missouri has gotten their revenge, and boy is it sweet. Sure, they can't remove the KKK's adopt-the-highway sign, but few would dispute the state's ability to name the highway itself.

The KKK is now cleaning up a stretch of the newly-christened Rosa Parks Freeway.

Origins: Well, sort of.

First of all, this isn't really recent news. The Ku Klux Klan had been fighting a series of court battles with the state of Missouri ever since 1994, when a Klan member applied to participate in the state's highway cleanup program and "adopt" a stretch of Interstate 55 south of St. Louis. The Missouri Department of Transportation rejected the application, claiming that under the federal Civil Rights Act, it could refuse the use of federal money to "further or subsidize racial discrimination." However, a U.S. District Court judge ruled that Missouri's refusal to allow the Klan to participate in the Adopt-a-Highway program was unconstitutional, and when the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals confirmed that finding on appeal in March 2000, the state had to erect signs announcing the Klan's sponsorship of a portion of I-55. The Missouri Legislature then voted to name the stretch of highway adopted by the Klan the "Rosa Parks Highway," in honor of the civil rights hero from Alabama whose refusal to give up her bus seat to a white passenger in 1955 led to her arrest and then a boycott of the Montgomery bus system.

The U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear Missouri's appeal in March 2001, removing the last obstacle to the Klan's full participation in the Adopt-a-Highway program. It is not true, though, that the KKK is "now cleaning up a stretch of the newly-christened Rosa Parks Freeway." The fact is that the Klan has never cleaned up their portion of I-55. When Missouri issued the Klan an ultimatum to start picking up trash or face being dropped from the program in January 2000, a Klan representative just beat the deadline by picking up the bags, reflective vests, and 10-minute safety video required for training and participation in the program. After the last legal obstacle to the Klan's full participation in the program was cleared when the Supreme Court refused to review the case this March, Missouri sent the Klan another ultimatum to begin picking up litter or be dropped from the program, a threat that was made good on April 4 when the Klan failed to respond and was officially dropped.

Missouri's ultimatum won't have much impact, since Thomas Robb, national director of the Ku Klux Klan in Harrison, Ark., already announced that the Klan intended to abandon the stretch of I-55 they adopted "because the person who filed the original application is no longer taking part in the program." The Klan has now set their sights on a one-mile stretch of Highway 21 in Washington County, between Highway E and the city of Potosi, based on an application filed by Ralph Griffith, another Klan member, back in March 1999. That section of Highway 21 is currently unnamed, but if we suspect that if Mr. Griffith's application is approved, it won't stay that way for long.

Last updated: 5 April 2001

by jamesrl

Get out a map of Newfoundland and you will see Come by chance, Conception Bay, Blow Me Down and of course Dildo.

Of course these were named a long time ago....Sometime after the Vikings and before Newfoundland entered Canada (1949).

James

by jamesrl

You'd be wrong in assuming that none of us male techies take an interest.

Personally, I was born 2 months premature, 42 years ago, and breastfeeding was given credit for helping me through some rough times as a baby. So perhaps I have a bias.

My wife was a La Leche league volunteer, as well as an active breastfeeder of our three kids. You are right on the money that its the women of a certain age who seem to take the greatest offense at public breast feeding.

I think your daughter is going to be well adjusted in that area.

James

by jessie

They're not QUITE the same as a guys beard... you can't say that one third of men have "the big O" just from beard stimulation :p

(and I'd rather look at a man's butt than his beard)

by jdclyde

to reason with him about it.
"Those people" just have to be as they be.....

Now a TAP for his KEG, that I could see him doing.

by hal 9000

I could also use the lines to cool down the drives as well couldn't I? No that wouldn't work as I'm not a Pomie who likes warm beer. :)

But it would be a good form of fluid cooling for my main workstation as there are 9 HDD directly below the opening for the external drives but it would be a waste of beer unless of course I could have the kegs in line and the beer coming in cold and then being feed into another keg before being served.

Col ]:)

by jessie

My cousin built himself a kegerator, out of an old refrigerator and some rubber hose. VERY nice... beer on tap while it's in the fridge.

by jdclyde

you have your system liquid cooled, keeping BOTH your beer AND CPU cool?

I remember some servers came with a build in refrigeration unit to keep the system cool.....

by jessie

The Inuit's in Alaska are facing such poisoning now. The mercury is pretty heavy in the oceanlife they consume. Even with this though, studies are showing that the breast fed babies are STILL healthier than formula fed.

by oz_media

The guy was an absolute neurotic maniac when it came to cleaning.

I was workin gon his house for a few weeks, which was a bit of a drive so I stayed after late night projects I had been working on. EVERY time you went anywhere near the bathroom, he said, 'don't forget to sit when you pee!'.

I figured he was joking about it at first until he explained that he ALWAYS sits to pee because it is cleaner.

Well perhaps so, but if I don't need to use 'that' part, I ain't sitting, sorry.

I had a cool and very tough looking MALE boxer dog when I was young, I never could get him to lift a leg to pee though, he'd always squat. Perhaps where my 'standing issue' comes from.

by oz_media

You'd rather look at a guy's butt than his beard?

http://tinyurl.com/4bt73

I think that was probably a 'gross'generalization while thinking of Brad Pitt, er.... I mean your husband.

I also think women should be able to be free and run around naked. We shouldn't FORCE people to wear clothes and cover up god's natural beauty.

Well good looking women anyway. :p

by hal 9000

They had a fridge that had water going in one side about 30 feet of copper pipe on the inside and a tap mounted on the outside of the fridge through the side wall. The end result was a constant supply of cold water whenever it was required.

It was great for drowning apprentices under! ;)

Col ]:)

by jamesrl

Google Gwen Jacobs and Ontario if you want to learn more.

Gwen thought it was discriminatory that guys could go around in the summer without a shirt and she could not. So she took it to court, and won.

Women in Ontario can walk around without a shirt in public.

James

by jaqui

here also.

in the city of Vancouver itself anyone can go without a shirt, male or female.

~grin~
had the one friend, just after it was changed, who wanted me to chain her hands behind her back and a collar around her neck, walk down Granville street on a friday night with her on a leash.

yup, we did go for that walk.

by jaqui

that unusual,
whenever the local brewery's went on strike while I was growing up, my dad would throw a beer bash, with kegs in the fridge.

on "Sandcastle Sunday" we would have kegs getting delivered by limo for the party. ( house was on the beach )

by jessie

Never really been into Brad Pitt... I prefer my men to look like MEN... not pretty little boys.

And OK, I would prefer to look at a man's[i] nice [/i]a$$ than a man's beard, or a woman's beard for that matter.

by jessie

but it wasn't just a keg in the fridge. It was a keg in the fridge with a piece of plastic hose going from the keg tap, through a small hole in the side of the fridge that was hooked up to the tap in another room...

by jdclyde

She got the big fuzzy seat covers that make it too thick for the seat to stay up (like the ping pong, just more decorative.)

Fine, I let her have her way (for a while).

I drew the line and threw the covers away when one of my sons slipped holding the cover up and it fell and he when ow and it was not pretty. All women are evil.

by oz_media

"All women are evil?"

You're not supposed to say that !!

Now they'll know what we're thinking all the time.

by jdclyde

Did I say that out loud? But if you would have heard my boy howl, you would say evil too. Somethings are just wrong as wrong can be.

Two men are waiting for an elevator, both have a black eye.

One looks at the other and said he slipped.

The other says he slipped as well at the breakfast table.

"At the breakfast table?" the man asks?

"Yes, went to ask my wife to pass the corn flakes but it came out "you ruined my life you beotch"

by jessie

We are... [i]Edit[/i]: evil that is... just to varying degrees... but then, all men are pigs.

by oz_media

Noe THERE'S a saying that has got me in more trouble than.....

Stupid really, I am sure sailors never really had that mentality, too many bad ports, especially when the sun come sup.

by jdclyde

like it is a bad thing?

It is the reason when my twins were about to be hatched I prayed for three things.

1) healthy - They were
2) Boys - they were
3) not look alike - they don't

No way did I want to have a daughter that would grow up to go out with a guy like me. I know what guys are like (having been one for years and years and years) Just wouldn't happen. I think of all the things I did to other peoples daughters. They would have been locked in their rooms until they were 30.

by jessie

It's all up to the individual... beauty is, after all, in the eye of the beholder. All women are evil, and all men are pigs, and you just have to find one you can live with, without committing mayhem upon their person (unless they beg nicely).

Although personally, I still believe the perfect marriage would involve a duplex.

by salamander

Re: the duplex...I have some friends who did exactly that. She lives on the second floor, he lives on the first.

They have an exceptionally blissful marriage, probably the most blissful I've seen. I think it has something to do with preserving certain illusions and notions of personal space...she doesn't pick up his dirty socks or comment about how god-awful his plaid recliner is, and he doesn't have to deal with her fuzzy pink throw rugs or trying to find his shoes in her jam-packed closet.

by jaqui

an online friend under the nickname Natrix Natrix posted this on a graphics site.

poserpros.com

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