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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Ok well iit's TECHNICALLY still Friday where I am, sorry I completely lost track of what day it was.

So, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday Yuk, I guess.

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A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word "'fascinate.'"

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for is bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him.

Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten 8."

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Hope everyone has a fun weekend! :) :)

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Oh I see we are on the Little Billy jokes now

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk

Well little billy with a hand full of smarties or M & M's if you like is walking down the back stairs toward his mother hanging out the washing on the cloths line. At the top step he pops a few M & M's into his mouth pats the cat and takes another step.

At the next step he does exactly the same thing and his mother sees him. He continues doing this on every step so out of curiosity his mother asks him what he thinks he is doing.

Billy replies I'm doing exactly what you claim dad does "Popping Pills, Patting ***** and moving on!"

Have a good week end Guys. :) :)

Col ]:)

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No respect..

by jdmercha In reply to Oh I see we are on the Li ...

Even when I buy a bag of M & M's all I get are W's.

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I love that response

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to No respect..

It was certainly good for a laugh!

Col ]:)

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How cold is it??? Cold enough to freeze the balls off......

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Friday Yuk

How Cold is it??? Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!!!!

In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and
many freighters carried iron cannons.
Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls.

It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon,
but they had to find a way to prevent
them from rolling about the deck.

The best storage method devised was a
square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting
on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen.

Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked
in a small area right next to the cannon.

There was only one problem...how
to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling
from under the others.

The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey"
with 16 round indentations.
But, if this plate was made of iron,
the iron balls quickly would rust to it.

The solution to the rusting problem was to make
"Brass Monkeys."

Few landlubbers realize that brass
contracts much more and much
faster than iron when chilled.

Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far,
the brass indentations would shrink so much
that the iron cannon
balls would come right off the monkey.

Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze
the balls off a brass monkey".
(And all this time, you thought that was an
improper expression, didn't you?)

Dawg

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Actually,

by deepsand In reply to How cold is it??? Cold en ...

it's one of the first things that a USNA Midshipman learns during Plebe Summer.

(Or, at least it was in 1964.)

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Are you a graduate of Canoe U???

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Actually,
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Are you Army?

by deepsand In reply to Are you a graduate of Can ...

USNA 68 (same class as Ollie North).

My Plebe year saw Staubach in his last year as quarter-back for Navy. Lost to Army; the bus ride back from Philly was doleful for Plebes, since we knew to expect plenty of extra "come-arounds" starting the next day.

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RMC 66, Canada's version of Hudson High & Canoe U

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Are you Army?

Our military colleges and universities are tri-service affairs. I was army but did a lot of tdy with the Hudson High crowd.
Still think Staubach is one of the most under rated QBs ever. Montana, OK; Elway, maybe; Staubach, he was the Dallas Cowboys. He was to Landry what Brady is to Bilichek.
Knew Ollie and still think he kept the faith and carried the can for others.

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Yes, but on the field only; and, yes

by deepsand In reply to RMC 66, Canada's version ...

Off the field Staubach was a prima donna; he felt himself exempt from the Academy's rules of conduct. He flouted them; and, got away with it!

For example, he frequently formed up for mess out of uniform, in untidy dress, etc.. Once, when asked by his CO why he had not shaved, his response was that he shaved the previous day!

As for Ollie, he was definitely the good soldier. He followed orders, and refused to blame his superiors in an effort to escape the consequnces. Whether or not one agrees with his actions, one must accord him respect for how he accepted responsibilty for them & the consequences.

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Another Urban Legend LOL

by dafe2 In reply to Actually,

http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.htm

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