one more for the road
Are you a cowboy?
An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."
The two sat sipping in silence. A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
:)
So what are you wearing under that? I actually said that once when stumped onsite. Obviously with a close relationship with the user, but the look on her face was still priceless.
have a great weekend !
Friday Yuk!
Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred
out of town and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.
A woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?" They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought.
They all agreed and she said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round. The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her.
Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."
Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"
She said, "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude.
If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointed to the left, golf left-handed."
One of the guys asked, "What if it's pointed straight up?"
She said, "Then I'll be here at 6:45."
Have a great weekend everyone, for those that voted Bush (FU,) nah just kidding congratulations!
For those who voted Kerry, well four more years and you can try again. Enjoy your country for what it is in the meantime.
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