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Friday Yuk (and you thought I forgot)

By Oz_Media ·
Now all in fun, even Republicans can have a giggle here.

http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf

Sorry Colin, I didn't check to see if anyone else had posted yet. ooooops.


POST YOUR SCORE!

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Er, um ....

by jardinier In reply to Friday Yuk (and you thoug ...

I scored 4. Does that qualify me to engage in er, um, unintelligible conversation with Mr Bush?

Or, um ..... inappropriate pubic relations?
No, that doesn't sound right either.

I guess yawl gonna hafta figger out for yerselves the point I am tryin' to make.

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Naught boy OZ

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk (and you thoug ...

But to be fair I do have an unfair advantage as far as time goes something like 20 hours ahead of our US cousins and maybe a bit more depending on where you actually are.

Oh by the way I got a score of 6 and then missed every one after that because I was laughing too much to concentrate after I heard the message about the OBGN's not being able to make love to all the women who required them.

Incidentally OZ I notice that you didn't post your score! What was it?

Col

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I scored a few 5's and a 7

by Oz_Media In reply to Naught boy OZ

Then got bored. :)

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what u up 2 naughty dude?

by neby In reply to Naught boy OZ

well how old r u? i am 22

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Conversion Table

by mlandis In reply to Friday Yuk (and you thoug ...

Coversion Table

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

365.25 days = 1 unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

52 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

4 nickels = 2 paradigms

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

100 Senators = Not 1 decision

The frame of reference is American. Any questions, please ask.

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One Minor correction

by Montgomery Gator In reply to Conversion Table

mlandis wrote:
"1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone"
....
Actually:
1 million microphones = 1 phone
1 million phones = 1 megaphone

Therefore:
1 x 10^12 (or 1 million * 1 million) microphones = 1 megaphone

Now if you are talking about Francophones, the conversion is different, especially since France converted from the Franc to the Euro, which complicates the exchange rate.

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What a difference 30 Years makes!

by mlandis In reply to Friday Yuk (and you thoug ...

30 Years Difference

1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair

1974: The perfect high
2004: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1974: KEG
2004: EKG

1974: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux

1974: Moving to California because it's cool
2004: Moving to California because it's warm

1974: Growing pot
2004: Growing pot belly

1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1974: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage

1974: Killer weed
2004: Weed killer

1974: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM

1974: The Grateful Dead
2004: Dr. Kevorkian

1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint

1974: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones

1974: Being called into the principal's office
2004: Calling the principal's office

1974: Screw the system
2004: Upgrade the system

1974: Disco
2004: Costco (A warehouse type store)

1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1974: Passing the driver's test
2004: Passing the vision test

1974: Whatever
2004: Depends (an brand of incontinent pad/diaper)

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things:


The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1986.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are!

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet?

Pass this on to the other old fogies in your life.

And don't forget the youngins so they can see what the stone age was like.

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Well there is one more

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to What a difference 30 Year ...

I had a young girl tell me this one which took a long time to realize what she meant.

She asked me "Did I know that Paul McCarthy was in a band before he was in Wings?"

Me being the old foggy that I am always thought that Wings came after the Beatles not that there was something before Wings.

Col

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You know..

by maecuff In reply to What a difference 30 Year ...

I could make all kinds of comments, but Oz would just give me sh*t and say I'm whining about how old I am.

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Hey Mae! I'm 20 years old

by mlandis In reply to You know..

with 29 years of experience.

That's one way to look at our experience!

Maureen

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