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Friday Yuk ...I really need this one these are old but

By tp205 ·
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The **** Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile .

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"The Insensitive Woman" :)

by TomSal In reply to Friday Yuk ...I really ne ...

Keep in mind I enjoy sarcastic humor so you may not get the laugh out of this that I did...

"The Insensitive Woman"

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told
> him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his
> for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later,
> the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only
> hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife
> agrees and they do it again.
> Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now
> has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey,
> please ... just one more time before I die ?"
> She says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time.
> After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. Ralph, however,
> worried about his impending death, tosses and turns until he's down to 4
> more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more
> Do you think we could...?"
> At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Ralph, I have to get up
> the morning ...You don't."

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I'll admit it..

by maecuff In reply to Friday Yuk ...I really ne ...

A few of them made me laugh. Thanks, I'm always ready for a laugh on Friday.


She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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Mae you really are wicked

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I'll admit it..

But I love this one.


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I like it Mae

by thelastword In reply to I'll admit it..

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