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by protiusx

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I got this from my Dad and it intrigued me so much I wanted to get your reactions and thoughts.

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it!You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Michael continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine.But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live.Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we
have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry
about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

28 replies

by jaqui

it's baseline.
neutral
midway
LUNCH BREAK!!!

I'm not actually joking, I am 90% of the time completely neutral.
5% enraged and going to rip someone's heart out through thier throat/
5% happy.

by av .

Or was it just an act? I have known some people like Michael that hid their real feelings under a positive good mood. Many of them are actually very unhappy people.

I think most people normally go back and forth between half empty and half full. Being one or the other all the time just isn't reality.

Its good that Michael had the attitude to live. If there was anytime in your life where an attitude like that was important, that was it.

Accentuate the positive. Its an excellent message and feeling but wouldn't you just be postponing the negative? Or pretending that everything is good when it wasn't?

I'm not sure that thats a good thing. You can't ignore the half empty part of life because its important to the life experience. Even if its ugly.

I have to agree that attitude is everything, though. The trick is to have balance between half full and half empty.

by fonken monken uk

Usually end up in therapy around their mid forties, having repressed so much they can no longer take it and their brain capsizes, resulting in a nervous breakdown. Either that or their life partners go insane.

No joke.

Glass half full, glass half empty? Hey! I orderd a cheeseburger!

That was the joke.

by jdmercha

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimists sees the glass half empty. The engineer asks "what was the previous state of the glass.

An empty glass filled half way is half full. An full glass emptied half way is half empty. "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Attitude is everything, and it often helps to have a postive outlook in the face of adversity. But other attitudes are appropriate at different times.

by tomsal

The old "glass half empty or half full" thing. I drive folks crazy with that when they ask me which type of person I am.

I am the engineer in your example actually. If the glass was first empty and then someone pour something into it but didn't fill it, its half full. Whereas if the glass was full and you drank some its now half empty.

lol.

duh..the logic is easy..lol

...

god I'm such a geek.

;)

by oz_media

I've always understood a different twist on that one.

Pessimist see's it as half empty
Optimist says it is half full
Engineer says the glass it too big

by oz_media

I'v elearned to live by similar principles.

If someone pisses me off, was it purposely done JUST to piss me off or did they make a mistake?

If someone says something to me that I don't like, did they say it JUST because they are really jerks that wanted to upset me or was it an innocent comment that I see as offensive or stupid?

After my recovery I started to see things a lot differently than I used to. nasty people just didn't matter as much and those that I liked before, I now cherish.

I just find that there is enough greatness you can focus on that it is easy to ignore tha bad.

People often say that it is the BAD things that leave long lasting impressions on us, and there are a LOT of bad things we can focus on, but why?

I see someone getting pissed off and I laugh inside to see how mad the person has LET themselves become over an issue that doesn't warrant any energy. When people get pissed off, it is their loss not mine, get mad...it's YOUR energy you are chossing to waste, not mine.

It seems a LOT easier to focus on the good and enjoy it, than it is to dwell on the bad and be mad about it.

You want to be mad or have a bad day, you go right ahead, just leave me out of it because I am gonna have a great day, thank you. I think it's too bad that you chose to hate your day, but then again that's YOUR perogative, enjoy it or hate it, how you waste your energy is up to you.

by av .

Maybe they aren't nice to feel at the time, but they provide balance and offer important lessons. Some bad days are unavoidable.

I don't think having a bad day feels good at all, don't get me wrong, and if you wake up and feel bad everyday, there is something that you have neglected to deal with. You need to find out what that is.

When I was younger, many things got me mad. I ruined my own day. Now that I look back, I realize how stupid I was. Don't sweat the small stuff. It took me years to learn that.

These days I don't sweat the small stuff, but I still have bad days. Not all the time, but sometimes. What is light without dark? I couldn't paint a picture that way because it wouldn't be interesting.

by matthew moran

I went into surgery for an emergency appendectomy and asked the doctor as they gurneyed me through the hospital, "your sure is doesn't say vascectomy or labotomy right - you know doctor's handwriting" Later, my surgeon commented on my easy attitude. I was pretty sick and went from 175 to 142 pounds but kept telling my nurses I loved the reading time and the demerol.

My response to the glass half-full, half-empty is a proactive - does it have what you want to drink? If not, pour it out and fill it back up and then drink it.

Dave Ramsey always tells people to place their fingers over their wrist, if you find a pulse, you will have challenges in your life. It is preparation and your response that will dictate the ultimate control those events have over your life.

Or as I tell my wife, "I tried being depressed once - it was too depressing."

For a more positive perspective and action plan from a career standpoint, check out my blog at IT Toolbox..

Here are a couple entries:

On Your Mark? Get Set? !!!
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/pm/career/archives/002658.asp

Bolster Your Economy of One
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/pm/career/archives/002901.asp

Economy of One meets Analysis Paralysis
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/pm/career/archives/002957.asp

SO WHAT, WHO CARES, NOW WHAT, MOVE ON!
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/pm/career/archives/002537.asp

The Theory of the Slight Edge
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/pm/career/archives/001511.asp

In all cases, I believe in a proactive answer to a challenge. It is never enough to identify or spot a problem. Even if the action is to find more information, or make a plan. You can always correct action but inaction is incorrectable.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Matthew Moran
http://www.cbtoolkit.com

by pokerjohn

Bill Raines ( www.billraines.net ) who is a fellow cancer survivor
and also fellow poker player wrote a book that is one man's light
hearted version of being a cancer patient. "Postcards from
Oncology"

He said about the glass: "We create our own reality. When we
take a breath and step back from the drama of our lives, we can
often see the absurdity in it and begin to laugh. Humor allows us
to distance? ourselves from the anxiety and stress of a situation.
Humor can helps us see that the glass may be neither half empty
or half full; it is simply the wrong size glass."

by matthew moran

My wife and I have been writing, Laughter & Tears In A Hyperactive Home. ( www.laughterandtears.com ) It is a book about parental perspective on hyperactivity and its affect on the family and life.

One of the primary "Pillars of Perspective" is, "Laugh Sooner Than Later"

There are two things that made this message important.
My Mom, when me and my three brothers were in trouble for one of the many, many, many things we did to add years and wrinkles to her, would suddenly start laughing. I would always ask, "If we are in so much trouble, why are you laughing?"

"So I don't cry," was her reply.

The other factor is that we all sit around at family gatherings and laugh about those things we thought were so dreadful at the time. Usually it starts with the line, "Do you remember when we..."

We are going to laugh 20 years in hindsight - let's collapse the timeframe.

by jessie

So many people (like my husband) think the above anecdote is pure bunk. I AM the eternal optimist! It's true. You DO choose your attitude. It's not that I IGNORE the bad things, the adversity in my life, I simply CHOOSE the role those things will play in my life. Those things I can control, I will do my damndest to make better. Those things I cannot control, I simply choose to not dwell upon.

This does NOT mean that I will not mourn the loss of a good friend. It means that I will not dwell on the loss of that friend, but on the wonderful times we had, and the things I learned from that friendship.

When I have bills I cannot pay, I pay the ones I can, try to earn some extra money to pay the ones I can't, and call my debtors and let them know exactly why I can't pay them... then I let it go because there's nothing more I can do and I CHOOSE not to worry about it.

It doesn't mean I won't ever be sad, or angry, hurt, or confused, it just means that I let it roll on by... 'like water off a duck's back.' I choose to do what I can, and not worry about the rest.

by maecuff

Having a good attitude generally makes for a more positive outcome. However, I don't think that there is anything wrong with acknowledging that some things just flat out suck. Doesn't mean you have to dwell on it or whine about it, but most things are what they are.

When I was a consultant, I had a client that did not ALLOW their development staff to say they had a 'problem' with anything, they had to say 'opportunity'. I thought that was a huge pile of horsesh*t, because sometimes, a problem is a problem. So what? You handle the problem and move on. BTW, do you know how hard it is to sit through a meeting and listen to adults say.. "Well, the opportunity we've encountered is blah blah blah" It is so ridiculous. I had the hardest time not rolling my eyes or laughing at them. And since I was a consultant and not an employee, I used the word 'problem' whenever it was appropriate. :)

by tomsal

I'm the same way. Personally I think the attitude you described is called being a "realist". Which is what I label myself as first before pessimist or optimist.

Negativity is every part of real life as positivity is, the balance we seek (or most try to seek) is having the positive outweigh the negative.

Bad things happens in life, we get sick, money problems, loved ones pass away, we loose our jobs, we have relationsip issues with our significant others, etc. But I think its UNrealistic when folks have this mindset of "no you have to pretend it doesn't exist or just look at the bright side". No I say sit on it and rotate buddy, sometimes life hands you a s*it sandwich and you have to take a bite.

What the key is though is taking steps to deal with whatever it is you are sad/upset/hurt about and don't dwell on the negative. That's how you get that nasty after taste out of your mouth. But it takes time. We are only human, pretending a problem doesn't hurt you doesn't make it NOT hurt you. Its ok to acknowledge when you are hurt -- its NOT ok to never give yourself the chance to heal from that hurt.

by maecuff

I think when we try to avoid the things that hurt is when we end up eating/drinking/(fill in self destructive behavior here) and end up hurting ourselves more in the long run.

I do try to keep a positive attitude and I'm pretty good at not killing myself over things I cannot control, but even so, you can't just skip around a problem and pretend like it's not there.

by packratt

Life is about balance, that we accept both pleasure and pain as part and parcel of our existance and acknowledge the power of our full range of emotions and thus gain understanding and wisdom from them. By denying ourselves the full range of life's experience and our full range of responses to it we live half lives, unbalanced lives wherein little is truly learned or understood.

Old saying goes, "Man who walk with head in clouds falls into many pits while the man who walks with head held low hits many branches."

by protiusx

I think they call that tupence in the UK? Anyway I disagree with the notion that attitude is everything. That is not to say that it is nothing but it most certainly is not everything. Attitude sets the will in a direction that enables the person to seek out the best solution to the problems at hand. A good attitude will save us from making bad choices during desperate times but that does not say that a good or positive attitude alone will free us from our woes.
Worry on the other hand serves no purpose what so ever. Worrying has never solved anything. Look for the trials and tribulations that will come and rejoice in them because as the famous Klingon captain Zured Hartdth said "that which does not kill us makes us stronger."

by packratt

Mind you, I'm definitely not advocating that one spend one's time in a state of worry, but even worry has a place in the pantheon of human emotion and human emotions are an essential part of the human survival mechanisms.

Without worry one does not think of the future and what may be the wrong or unhealthy course of action. Without worry we don't wonder about what-ifs. Worry's effect on future outcomes is not necessarily apparent because when worry works we avoid those future misteps. (just like nobody knows when a good sysadmin does his or her job because nothing bad happens when they do it well).

All emotions are important, it's only unhealthy when one emotion dominates or destroys all others. (the overwhelming sadness of the disfunctionally depressed or the overwhelming happiness of the manic or the overwhelming worry of the paranoid even).

by pokerjohn

I spend a lot of time at the poker table. The range of emotions
at the poker table are easily related to those in business and to
those of life as a whole.

At the poker table, if you're in a state of "worry" as I define it,
you're probably not going to make the best decisions. At the
poker table you should be aware of what has happened, good or
bad, and anticipate what could happen. But in any case, you're
better off if you can stay in the moment and keep the emotions
under control.

No matter how good you are in poker, bad things can happen
because there is an element of luck and many unknowns. But
that's no different than life in general.

John

by montgomery gator

Jesus told us not to worry, that it solves nothing (See Matthew 6:25-31).

For non-Christians, there is the philosophy of Alfred E. Neuman: "What, Me Worry?"

by protiusx

I would agree with you that we should not go blindly into tomorrow with out giving any thought to what we should do but that is a far cry from actual worry. Worry is to fret about something that may or may not happen. It is akin to fear and irrationally mulls over and over until the fear takes over. To worry is to fear. Thoughtful contemplation is a different animal all together. When one plans and considers ones paths in life or the decisions one should take or the preparations that one should make the person is not doing so out of fear but out of logic and reason.

by packratt

I'll admit that...

But not being a christian myself and tending not to take the word of comic book characters as gospel I would say that your post hasn't really altered my opinion.

by maxwell edison

.
Johnny went home after a tough day at school, and his dad asked him, "How'd you do on your math test today?"

"Dad, I think I blew it", was Johnny's reply.

"Don't have that attitude, son", Johnny's dad said. "You have to be positive".

"Okay", Johnny said, "I'm positive I blew it."

by packratt

Too much of anything is a bad thing, yes?

Well, same with worry and fear, when taken to extremes fear leads to phobia and worry leads to paranoia.

But, in small ammounts and when taken with a dose of rational understanding those emotions serve us well.

I am right to fear certain things, fear keeps me alive, without fear and an understanding of why it exists, a child would be as likely to walk into a bonfire as he or she would be to walk around it.

Worry is the bringer of doubt, this is true, but it is usefull to doubt one's own path at certain times. A bit of worry and doubt spur one to ponder the nature of where one is heading, it is the reason why we plan ahead and measures that planning.

A moment or fear or worry is a good thing... So long as we understand why those moments occur, accept the counsel our emotions give us, and then move past that moment and not dwell upon it overly long.

by awfernald

that always is soooo sweet and loving and kind and cheerful, etc...

I can't handle it for more than about 30 mins at a time before I have to leave before I start corrupting her.

by protiusx

If any of you have read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix you'll know the character I am referring to. Deloris Umbridge was a professor at Hogwarts imposed by the Ministry of Magic to replace Professor Dumbledor. Deloris Umbridge was a toady looking woman who spoke sickningly sweet but was evil through and through. I work with a woman like that. Not that she's evil per say but she speaks in a lilting little girl voice and she's an old bat! She is caniving and a rumor monger. Don't know where I am going with this so I'll step off.

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