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here's the rules, from a male viewpoint

By Jaqui ·
We always hear"the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules. They?re all numbered the same for a reason. I forget what it is.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You don't hear us complaining that you leave it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Requests work.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

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You forgot one.

by The Admiral In reply to here's the rules, from a ...

1. I know how to drive and park the damned car!

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And two more

by DMambo In reply to You forgot one.

1) If you want something, go and buy it. Don't wait for us to figure it out. It's not the thought, it's the gift that counts.

1) We don't care what you are wearing to go out, please don't care what we are wearing.

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by DC Guy In reply to here's the rules, from a ...

We really don't see colors. What you call "navy blue" looks like black to me. I have to hold them side by side in perfect light to detect any difference and once I see the difference it doesn't seem important enough to have a different name for it.

As for the toilet seat... I don't care who's right about the ergonomics of the issue. I figure that if I can make somebody THAT happy with THAT little effort, it's a no-brainer. I wish everything women wanted was so easy to provide!

Here's one: All the shoes anybody needs are one pair of black shoes, one pair of brown shoes, and one pair of sneakers.

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Oh yeah: Columbus was lost!

by DC Guy In reply to here's the rules, from a ...

He thought he'd landed in India! And since we're in charge, we still stubbornly call the people he found here "Indians."

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ooooh! You!

by gadgetgirl In reply to Oh yeah: Columbus was los ...

It is noted with grief that you posted this particular topic of discussion when you thought I was unavailable to reply to your comments.....

Ha! Gotcha! Logged on from home! (still sorting boat, just sorting stuff for boat in house instead!)

Women, at least, can ask for directions if lost (which is why it takes 1million sperm to fertilise an egg - it's pure luck that one of them gets there. None of them stop to ask the way....)

We also read instructions before attempting to put together flat packs - which is why only men have numerous nails and screws left over and the article falls apart after a few months....

oh, and I agree women aren't so good at parking cars.

Because men always tell us that this length:

______________________________________________

measures approximately 10 inches.......




GG

will take up this particular discussion on my return, in the meantime - Cute, ITGirli, Jess et al - take the Standard forward!!!

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:) naw

by Jaqui In reply to ooooh! You!

it was posted only cause we see enough male bashing, and women bashing that a poke at "the rules" which has always been from the womens point of view was needed.

actually posted this BEFORE you said you were leaving.

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Ahem!

by gadgetgirl In reply to :) naw

The Women do make the rules, therefore they are always, correctly, from our point of view!

And I'm not leaving, I'm ON LEAVE - Yes, technical difference.

And I finished to go ON LEAVE on Friday afternoon, which was the 15th.

So you WERE trying to catch me out!

na na nanya na!

GG

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But he still found his way there and back again

by Montgomery Gator In reply to Oh yeah: Columbus was los ...

Columbus may have thought he was in the East Indies, but he was able to find his way to Hispaniola and back to Spain across a featurless ocean several times without a map or directions, or a GPS. He may not have been where he thought he was, but he sure knew where to find it. Lets see you try that in a 15th century caravel with primitive navigational equipment, an unruly crew, and no charts (except the ones you made yourself) :-)

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by M_a_r_k In reply to here's the rules, from a ...

I can vouch for the 3rd one about subtle hints and strong hints. My ex was really bad about that. I kept trying to tell her "if you want something, you gotta ASK for the damn thing. I can't read your mind." ****, the only thing she ever asked me for was a divorce!

As for leaving the toilet seat down...when women leave it down, then we men have to grab the bacteria-laden thing and lift it up. Are we supposed to wear gloves to the john? Maybe use our foot to kick the seat up, deftly balancing on one leg in the process? Or we could try to aim and P right through the hole in the seat but then the seat gets splashed with toilet water. And who's supposed to wipe the bacteria-laden water off the bacteria-laden seat? So now we are supposed to carry around gloves AND a can of Lysol?

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