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Hire me NOW!!!

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I Demand that I be hired due to the certs I have. Much more than these selfers out there who think they know it all. Who do they think they are anyway - loooooosers thats what!!!!!

We use a DLT, much better than a DAT- Idiots
Squares all of them!

Get some certs you!

48 replies

by cmiller5400

You are stating that just because you have certs, you are better than ME? I have been working with computers for over 16 years, starting with a TI computer and Apple IIe's. I have attended training sessions, self study courses, comunity colleges, etc. Just becuase I DON'T have a degree does NOT make me a looooooser as you stated, because I HAVE taken the courses and am still working on others not related to computers that are required for the degree. In my book experience trumps certs, book knowledge and actual experience are two very different things.

by shellbot

spud's back from school holidays guys...

was disneyland nice?

5400..he starts this fight over and over again..ignore him

by maecuff

I dunno, maybe he has a point this time? Maybe, if when he goes on a job interview, and DEMANDS that they hire him (because he DOES seem to be a people person), that they'll appreciate his forcefulness and offer him a job on the spot. I'd bet if he took a big stick and threatened to beat them with it, that would help, too.

by cmiller5400

that the name sounded familiar... You are right of course, people like him give IT people a bad name.

by cmiller5400

I have the recipie ready to go... Just have not tried it. Although fresh spinach is hard to find these days, with e-coli and all, have you tried it with frozen? My thought is frozen spinach is only good for dips (a friend of mine made a spinach dip that was served in a sweet bread loaf. It was awesome, I will have to ask for the recipie so I can share it)

by mjd420nova

Certificates an IT pro does not make. Learning in school or online does not make you certified, just papered. Learning first hand does not require a cert and will tech you more than any course could. Being certified means you had the time and money to study, but not the real skills needed to talk to a user and decipher the real problems associated with perceived faults on a system. Face to face personel skills can be taught too, but won't count for crap when facing a user who thinks they know what the problem is and how to fix it.

by jdclyde

You should know better than to post anything even close to a real answer to this piece of $h1t that no matter how many time you flush, just won't go down! :0

Logic and reason has no place in this discussion! Repent your transgressions! :p

by shellbot

your wisdom shines brightly Mae :)

I think your right, and how could ne not be an asset to an employer..I'm sure all his moaning and whining will make his team mates love him to bits..

by old guy

there is nothing to see here but just the dregs of human waste. It will continue to deteriorate and disappear.

Ignore is the key word.

by maxwell edison

I could be wrong, but I suspect that the original message is dripping with sarcasm in order to make a point. How many times have we seen messages that suggest earning certifications and degrees entitle a person to get a job and/or earn more money? I believe that the original poster is making a sarcastic point, and that point being, no they aren't.

by maxwell edison

I have one of the only issues of the coveted, and very valuable, MEMS -- the Maxwell Edison Method of Success Certification. Other people could be awarded this certification, or some people might have a variation of it. Oz_Media, for example, has a similar certification, but it's slightly different, and it's called the OMMS. Both have equal value, however.

In order to earn this certification, one must prove that he (any instance of "he", by the way, assumes "he or she") understands the basic business model, especially in that a business's purpose is to make a profit. One must both learn and acknowledge that profit is a good thing, not a bad thing. One must learn how to actually help a company earn that profit. And one must learn to articulate to that company how he can contribute to the earning of that profit, and is thereby entitled to higher compensation because of it.

One must never "ask" for a job, but rather offer his services, whether that be to a company, per se, or to clients and customers. One must understand that serving the needs of that company (or the clients and customers) is the best method through which one's own needs can be met.

One must always take responsibility for his own lot in life, and never blame anyone else -- and especially never blame "big business" -- for his failures. One must never be a victim of circumstances, but rather one in control of his own destiny; and one must both understand and acknowledge that not only can success be measured by any number of factors, but that success is limited only by one's own imagination and self-imposed limitations. And lastly, one must understand that any and all other certifications or degrees are of lesser value than this one.

by maxwell edison

I saw the one other message he posted, but do we really know who he is? Is he really the kid you think he is, or is he some other stealth poster? Heck, he might even be ........ me! (I do love sarcasm, you know, as a tool to make a point.)

Who do you think he is and why? (Or she? It could also be ..... YOU.)

by tig2

Spuddy M was the clown that showed up here and started a thread in Career comparing education (degree) to self taught people, contending that education was superior. In over 300 posts, he flamed many people before editing the text of his original post and all subsequent posts to no text. He then adopted first my ID, then my avatar.

I took the issue to the peers on the board and notified the PTB. Spuddy_m was then shown the door.

This is the third incarnation of the original assertion.

Heaven only knows who he is in real life. I am reasonably certain that he isn't an incarnation of you- puerile is not a word I would associate with you.

by maecuff

I can accept that you think me capable of sarcasm (or irony, happy Neil?) and even rabble rousing, but REALLY..would you think I would name myself SPUDDY?

I think not.

by tonythetiger

french-fried pators mmmhmmm biscuits mmmhmm; mustard!

(hmmm... It sounded funnier than it looks in type)

by dawgit

... :B} ,sorry, I stoll that from a "Bob Dylan" song. (oh, yes, way back in those wonderfull 60's, please, please can we go back ;\ )

by old guy

going forward. Besides there were A LOT of styles and stuff that should never be retro'd. The music is good and that will never die. But please, please do not bring back the hair or clothes style. Ewww.

by tig2

To conduct yourself appropriately with your peers is more likely to be the reason you are finding employment to be a challenge. Your qualifications must include in addition to your technical skills, an ability to communicate functionally in the business environment. Without people skills, you will likely continue to be passed over.

Good luck with all that...

Edit typo

by tonythetiger

an actuall willingness to work! Many of these kids think their degree or certicication is the peak, and that they can coast through a career. Little do they know.... :)

by jdclyde

they think they will get hired in as a lead admin, make the big bucks, and drive a jag around.

It is people like this I am delighted to see cast under the wheels and ground up a but. Normally it is only my EX that I enjoy seeing suffer, but this twit has added himself to the list! :D

by tonythetiger

We're 'loooooosers', yet you're the one who can't get a job. You might want to go back and take a logic course.

by maecuff

husband about this at lunch. And that was the point I made. I may be a loooser..but I'm a loooser with a paycheck. :)

by jdclyde

This twit is NOT an IT person. You have to be hirable and WORK in the field to be an IT person.

He is just a twit that spent his time taking tests instead of making a living and is bummed out to find that the advisor that put him on that path lied to him just to get his money.

I have also noticed that twit boy has never stated WHAT certs he has. They MIGHT qualify him for help desk as a student employee somewhere. But as it isn't even a formal college degree, he doesn't even have that going for him.

Might as well take those certs and wipe his a$$ with them for all the good they will do him! :p

by old guy

then I am King of Siam. (and I don't even like cats--no offense to you and Shell, of course)

by jdclyde

He should go directly to Gates himself and inform Bill that he MUST hire him or he will cry all over Bills $1000 shoes and ruin them.

Let him cry like a (ready for it?) whinny a$$ t1tty baby! :^0

[i](well worth the nickel!) B-)

by dmambo

Many, many years back, in the days of my youth, I labored to receive a Massachusetts Fork Truck Operator Certification. Yes, it's true! I was honored and humbled by this accomplishment.

As the years progressed, (actually the following summer) and I was looking for another job, I proudly included this certification as a qualification on a job application. I smugly awaited the hiring manager's wide-eyed response when he got to that part of the form. I imagined how impressed he'd be! I was rewarded with this comment: "What the hell is a Mass Fork Truck Certification?" I was incredulous that this dolt had never heard of this lofty honor. Who do they hire as HR managers, anyway?

Slowly I reached for my wallet and pulled the sacred document which proved that I was a man not to be trifled with. This so-called manager regarded the shingle. I could hear the new-found respect in his voice as he told me "I gotta tell you kid, this is just something that your old company prints up. They probably use it for insurance purposes to document training."

Needless to say, I was awarded the position. And it's my opinion that the store's shelves have never been so well-stocked nor the parking lot so well-cleared of carts before or since!

by tig2

And even better that you chose to answer him in your inimitable style and in all seriousness. I did no different and I know what this bozo is about. He is a seagull poster- he usually drops one of two comments- mostly flames- and the thread dies a natural death. But I will keep your answer because it is so true- the certification that you earn from yourself is the only one worth having.

I can't imagine that this idiot will get a tenth of the value of your post. I appreciated it immensely.

by old guy

Yes, I changed it after you caught me. :)

To any who are interested: JD caught a spelling error by me using or instead of "of". Touche mon ami.

by dawgit

I've still got the long hair, (at my age, that I can have, still have hair IS status :D ) I hate to wear shoes, (mostly because my feet got eaten up with certain chemicals :( ) and for clothes?, :^0 well this is Europe, and sometimes they're just optional. (but it really much better on the young women, ok-down right scarry with me :_| ) I'm going to just keep sing'n for a while, don't mind me. -d

by old guy

burned for this but sometimes the truth hurts. I meant the hairstyles a lot of the women wore back then. Keep your hair (for as long as you can :) ) Sorry to hear about your feet. Go with comfort. Always keep the singing. It can soothe the soul. :)

by jdclyde

I had that "someone just stepped on my grave" feeling last week. The night before the ecoli outbreak was announced we had stir-fry. At the last minute we had decided to use broccoli instead of spinach for a change of pace. :0

Sixth sense? And it really was a last minute switch, and Thing One was bummed when he came down and found I had made that switch because they boys LOVE the spinach. When he starts to get full, he picks out the rest of the spinach and will leave the steak.......

Frozen or canned, I guess you could use them for a dip, but I would think there would actually be better texture and SOME flavor if you cooked your own first. Shred and then steam would be good. Just not for a bit.

Do your dry run first to make sure you have everything! feel free to peer me when you finally do get to try it. We love that one and make it a few times a month.

by jdclyde

That is a "typographical error", not a misspelling.

Ok, technically it was both, but typo covers it better. I did find this interesting, and fully agree!
[i]
"Spelling English language at best is unforeseen, sometimes absolutely chaotic. With this idea, certainly, agree schoolchildren and who studies English language all over the world. However researchers of English language assure, that English language has no rules of spelling only for 400 words. The majority of these words are the most used in English language, unfortunately."[/i]
http://misspelling.kiev.ua/

by zlitocook

IT department for the MSDS needs a helping hand and they dont care how much experence you have!
It pays good and you get alot of fresh air, you get free outfits and get to ride on big trucks!

by jdclyde

every breath you take just wastes oxygen that would be best used for just about anything else.

You have no future and no prospects of ever having one other than to be a total failure in everything you do.

You will accomplish nothing, and odds are the certs you do have you got off brainbench and not even from a valid testing center.

Find a window and jump.

Provided you don't land on someone or their car, no one will notice. No one.

bon voyage!

by rishfin

i have 25 years of experience in financial managemant, corporate governance, company secretarial duties, sdlc, systems designs, implemaentation, maintenance and audits,
too much favouritism in the workplace resulting in nepotism.
I HAVE ALL THE ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS AND MORE

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