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  • #2189075

    How do aliens reproduce?

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    by itgirli ·

    Odd, I know, but my cousin and I were having this discussion over the weekend. How exactly would you imagine that aliens (the kind from outspace, not the kind with the green card) reproduce? Usually they are describe as beings with big heads, but no distinct male/female parts. I put out the thought that perhaps they reproduced by budding. Maybe the buds then fall off the alien’s head and then you have a little alien. There was also the suggestion that perhaps they stuck a finger in another alien’s ear hole in order to achieve satisfaction, but then that still leaves open how the little alien comes about. Maybe it’s all just cloning and thus over many millenia of cloning, their reproductive organs disappeared.
    I look forward to reading any other ideas put out here.

All Comments

  • Author
    Replies
    • #3058109

      Abduct earth women

      by gralfus ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      C’mon, we’ve known that since the 1940’s! Horrible mutant space fiends from another world descend and abduct our women for to repopulate their worlds. I’ve seen countless movies where this happens, so it *must* be true…

      Somehow I think they’d have better luck if the aliens were female and they abducted males. They probably wouldn’t have to even abduct them, just show up and open the door of the saucer.

    • #3058108

      Gimme some of that

      by dr dij ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      (buds?) that got a great discussion like that going..

      Sci-fi is rank with dift methods for the aliens.
      On one planet they were studying egg shaped aliens that went to a large clearing when ready. They ‘made music’ together literally. This stimulated them to start dividing by themselves and they went their separate ways to split into multiple rainbow colored humpty-dumpties.

      Another species was kind of like a sentient kelp animal that had a larvae stage that was mobile then settled down into a rooted plant on an alien ‘coral reef’ with lots of available energy. They used it in a great tank in the battle cruiser’s forward section, as it could sense hi-energy photons and translate that into collision avoidance at high speed.

      Oddly sci-fi largely deals with aliens from our point of view, so it is from our angle dealing with them.

      Discovery had a whole planet setup as an example of alien eco-system we might discover. There was extra thick atmosphere, and floating clouds of whale sized herbivors with gas bags to keep afloat.

      Nat geo channel got in on this too with a world of parasol umbrella plant/animals and critters below them. Were some nasty sea creatures that would flow like slime molds out of water and burrow into the birdy like creature’s legs to reproduce.

      Oh-ohh…. someones coming, have to do real work…

      • #3058050

        Saturn

        by puppybreath ·

        In reply to Gimme some of that

        On Saturn the sexes are three
        which is awkward, I’m sure you’ll agree
        while performing con brio
        they must have a trio
        and it even takes two for a pee

        • #3044486

          Thank you

          by dr dij ·

          In reply to Saturn

          ROTFWL

    • #3058087

      Aliens

      by m_a_r_k ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      I don’t buy your stick-a-finger-in-your-wife’s-ear theory. That’s disgusting. What self-respecting alien wants to get a finger full of ear wax? I saw a documentary about this once on MTV. The truth is that aliens are just overgrown insects. They both have antennae, right? And they’re both ugly, right? Therefore I postulate that an alien is a large insect. Except that they have adapted to living in the nether regions of our galaxy. Baby insects were taken into space by the Russkies during the heyday of the space race in ’60s. Their intent was to train them to attack the U.S. in the event of war. Armageddon can come in a variety of packages. In this case, Armaggedon was gonna come from buzzing antennae-headed missiles. A ready supply of insects stocked in space put them out of reach of our own laser weapons of the day. It’s also a shorter flight from low earth orbit to Des Moines than from Moscow to Des Moines. Not only that, they would have gravity working for them, so they’d be humming along at the speed of light by the time they blasted into Omaha. I got off track there, but the point I was trying to make is that aliens and insects are two sides of the same two-headed coin. Aliens are insects on steroids. They mate like insects and they reproduce from gooey egg-like things just like your everyday insect.

    • #3058086

      Alien Friend

      by hozcanhan ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      A man was walking on the street , he felt somebody tapping his shoulder . He turned his head and looked back . He saw strange humanoid . Couldn’t give a meaning and walked on , after a while a second tap on the shoulder and the man turned back and asked the creature “wha’ da ya want ? ” . “Nothing” the thing said . “Can I buy you a drink ?”. And the friendship grew into the night . After many free drinks the man finally explained in detail the earthly version and asked his close friend : “How do YOU aliens do it ?”
      The alien streched out its hand and ….tapped the man’s shoulder !

    • #3058067

      Reply To: How do aliens reproduce?

      by charliespencer ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      I usually insert my gloorplax organ into my first partner’s undulater, while our second partner strokes our fleads together. Then we switch.

      • #3044622

        Sheesh!

        by dr dij ·

        In reply to Reply To: How do aliens reproduce?

        She asks a perfectly serious normal question on how aliens reproduce (discovery special to follow) and you have to bring your gloorplax organ; typical talk by one of the 1st sex.

        (that was my galfriend talking, she would then accuse me of being such a typical guy, which I would affirm, then we might get into a tickling bout and end up …, now you as an alien know how humans reproduce 🙂

    • #3058057

      Puppetmaster

      by dr dij ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      in this book, the aliens were smart, sentient; had odd lump on top instead of head. mouth lower; when the human asked them about repro, the answer was ‘there is a 3rd non-sentient intermediate’ and figured out that the body was a parasitized host, the aliens were wasplike things that required the humanoid form to lay eggs in.

      similar to the wormies on stargate, but they reproduced outside humans or other hosts, in ponds and as young burrowed into the people.

    • #3058014

      Aliens

      by itgirli ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      I kind of meant real aliens. It is very interesting to look at how science fiction has portrayed it. But what about the one’s that kidnap rednecks and stick probes up their butts?

      • #3057935

        That’s not reproduction.

        by charliespencer ·

        In reply to Aliens

        That’s scientific research. How else are you going to find out how many rednecks are really closet homosexuals? Stick a probe up. If they smile and back up to it, they’re gay. So far, the findings are 100% positive.

        • #3072462

          I think it may be easier for them….

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to That’s not reproduction.

          If they imagine the probe in the hand of their sister.

        • #3072385

          Y’all are gross

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to I think it may be easier for them….

          Are you talking about rednecks in general or just Arkansans?

        • #3072372

          y’all? oh no, did we offend you?

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Y’all are gross

          Is your secret out? ha ha.
          I was thinking the Arkansas and West Virginia breeds of rednecks, not you.

        • #3072351

          Now I’m offended

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to y’all? oh no, did we offend you?

          Did you call me a redneck? :O (I’m surprised anyone picked up on my intentional use of the word “y’all”). Just like y’all folks in the Virginias, if [b]West[/b] Virginians are rednecks but you [b]east[/b] Virginians aren’t, I can emphatically say that my [b]east[/b] Texas cousins have red necks but we [b]north[/b] Texans don’t. 😀

          From my lexicographically-inclined friend:
          [i]
          red?neck
          n. [u]Offensive Slang[/u]
          1. Used as a disparaging term for a member of the white rural laboring class, especially in the southern United States.
          2. A white person regarded as having a provincial, conservative, often bigoted attitude
          [/i]

        • #3072349

          HaHa

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          And that’s not you? 😉

        • #3072308

          Well, if you wanna know the truth…

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          [i]A white person regarded as having a provincial, conservative, often bigoted attitude[/i]

          I am white. Provincial? Well, I never have understood the salad fork thing. Conservative? Yup. Bigoted? Uh…I am occasionally intolerant of idiots who don’t do exactly as I do or think exactly how I think. Uh-oh! Does this mean I’m a redneck? But gosh, girli, judging from this definition, unless you’re not white, I think you’re one of us too! High five! haha

        • #3072227

          Redneck grammar lesson, y’all

          by maxwell edison ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          .
          Y’all is singular.

          All y’all is plural.

          So you should have said ….. Just like all y’all folks in the Virginias…

        • #3071148

          grammar lesson

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          Where you from, max? Not from the South? “y’all” is plural. It means “you all”. “You” is singular, even for Southern folk. It means “you”. 😀

          [i]
          you-all (y?l) also y’all (y?l)
          pron. [u]Chiefly Southern U.S.[/u]
          You. Used in addressing two or more people or referring to two or more people, one of whom is addressed.
          [b]Regional Note:[/b] The single most famous feature of Southern United States dialects is the pronoun y’all, sometimes heard in its variant you-all. You-all functions with perfect grammatical regularity as a second person plural pronoun, taking its own possessive you-all’s (or less frequently, your-all’s, where both parts of the word are inflected for possession): You-all’s voices sound alike. Southerners do not, as is sometimes believed, use you-all or y’all for both singular and plural you. A single person may only be addressed as you-all if the speaker implies in the reference other persons not present: Did you-all [you and others] have dinner yet? You and you-all preserve the singular/plural distinction that English used to have in thou and ye, the subject forms of singular and plural you, respectively (thee and you were the singular and plural object forms). The distinction between singular thou/thee and plural ye/you began to blur as early as the 13th century, when the plural form was often used for the singular in formal contexts or to indicate politeness, much as the French use tu for singular and familiar ?you,? and vous for both plural and polite singular ?you.? In English, the object form you gradually came to be used in subject position as well, so that the four forms thou, thee, ye, and you collapsed into one form, you. Thou and thee were quite rare in educated speech in the 16th century, and they disappeared completely from standard English in the 18th. However, the distinction between singular and plural you is just as useful as that between other singular and plural pronoun forms, such as I and we. In addition to y’all, other forms for plural you include you-uns, youse, and you guys or youse guys. Youse is common in vernacular varieties in the Northeast, particularly in large cities such as New York and Boston, and is also common in Irish English. You-uns is found in western Pennsylvania and in the Appalachians and probably reflects the Scotch-Irish roots of many European settlers to these regions. You guys and youse guys appear to be newer innovations than the other dialectal forms of plural you. [/i]

        • #3070979

          More grammar

          by charliespencer ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          “Y’all” is also interchangable with “you’uns”.

        • #3070914

          Y’all is both singular and plural

          by stress junkie ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          Just like them book lernin people use “you”.

        • #3060796

          All Y’All is plural

          by maxwell edison ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          .
          That was a joke, by the way, but I lifted it, I think, from Mr. Redneck, himself, Jeff Foxworthy.

          And if Jeff Foxworthy says that all y’all is plural, then that’s good enough for me, and it should be good enough for not only y’all, but all y’all as well.

          However, you know me and my propensity to provide support for my assertions. So here all y’all are.

          http://webpages.charter.net/mikeu/TIPS.htm

          http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Farm/7478/plr-yall.htm

          http://archipelago.phrasewise.com/2002/03/07#OTozMDoyMCBQTQdbdb

          http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/13/messages/12.html

          http://www.qajaqusa.org/cgi-bin/GreenlandTechniqueForum_config.pl/noframes/read/409

          http://members.surfbest.net/jzbess/newtotexas.html

          http://www.powerbear.com/redneck.htm

          (I guess we’re not the only ones with too much time on our hands!)

          Y’all” is singular.

          All y’all is plural.

          All y’all’s is plural possessive

        • #3060770

          All this y’all stuff

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Now I’m offended

          I say “y’all” all the time but it comes out so naturally, I don’t know if I say “all y’all”, “all of y’all” or what all I say. I gotta remember to listen to myself and I’ll report back to y’all.

        • #3072275

          If the probe fits,

          by charliespencer ·

          In reply to Y’all are gross

          Back up to it.

        • #3072267

          I think I’ll run from the damn thing

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to If the probe fits,

          .

        • #3043671

          So, I figure…

          by mickster269 ·

          In reply to If the probe fits,

          The proper response to butt-probing by a singular Alien is ” Would y’all stop that.”

          Butt probing by many Aliens is “Would all of y’all stop that!”

          But probing by anything else would be “HEY ! QUIT THAT!”

          Is that correct?

        • #3070932

          sterio types?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to That’s not reproduction.

          Don’t forget “cause and effect”.

          Just because all rednecks are gay, doesn’t mean all gays are rednecks! 😉 (or so I have heard)

          How many of them got pinkeye from Scott Baio?

        • #3070923

          False conclusion

          by charliespencer ·

          In reply to sterio types?

          Not all gays are rednecks. In fact, not even very many gays are rednecks. After all, most gays have some fashion sense and wouldn’t be caught dead in a rebel flag T-shirt.

        • #3070894

          yep

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to False conclusion

          or all that flanel and those ratty deere hats. spew.

        • #3060867

          Good point

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to False conclusion

          I forgot about the fashion statement of the average redneck, not to mention the roadkill cusine.

        • #3060864

          Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Good point

          I’ve been waiting for some uptight liberal twirp to flame y’all for bashing so bad on rednecks. Uptight people are pretty hard to predict. You never know what’ll set them off.

        • #3060854

          yeah, right.

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          You don’t know much about politics, do you? Liberals will never flame anyone for bashing rednecks. Rednecks are conservatives who believe in gun-owner rights. No liberal would defend them.

        • #3060838

          Liberals

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          Liberals don’t care who they defend, as long as they can defend someone’s so-called civil rights. You haven’t heard of the pukes being held prisoner at Guantanamo Bay? Hell, the liberals are all for letting those thugs loose, and they’d probably even give them all a big ole backpack too.

        • #3060831

          This one is safe

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          as the uptight liberal weenies hate rednecks as badly as republicans.

          An enemy of my enemy….

        • #3060829

          Your way off base MARK

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          the liberal weenies only care about Gitmo because it is a way to viciously attack Bush and the administration.

          They will defend the same terrorist scum that would kill each and every one of them if given half a chance if it means making Bush look bad.

          When is the last time you EVER heard of the ACLU standing up for a Christian who is discriminated against? It won’t happen. Any religion but.

          Don’t worry, Girlie will [b]whip[/b] you in shape before the next election! :\

        • #3060824

          I dont know about girli and whips, but

          by surflover ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          The ALCU is a SCARY group… I’m not affiliated with any party (pretty much disgusted with the whole system)… but any group that supports the following REALLY concerns me…(excerpt from “The ACLU Exposed, Wednesday, October 12, 2005, By Bill O’Reilly”) (BTW, I’m not a fan of O’Rielly either, but I have to agree with this)

          The ACLU is defending the North American Man Boy Love Association, saying that although the organization champions the criminal rape of children, it has a right to do that under free expression.

          The ACLU endorses virtual child pornography and has defended the right of people to obtain real child porn.

          …There’s a lot of other scary stuff they support (and oppose)… you can find out more by googling “ACLU supports” or “ACLU opposes”

        • #3060819

          Is that for real?

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          Not the girli whipping thing, I’m talking about that ACLU crap. That’s worse than disgusting. It’s enough to make me wanna yank a Gitmo Guy out of his cell, stuff a bomb-laden backpack up his fanny and send him dashing into the ACLU office. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

        • #3060806

          YES, that’s for real…

          by surflover ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          (BTW: JD posted the thing about girli “whipping” you into shape) 🙂

          Do some research… it scares me silly to think these mutants are walking around wasting our air, and could potentially (with our F^%#ed up governmental system), get some of this crap passed into law…

        • #3044437

          Yes, it is real

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          and yes these substandard humans are a waste of air.

          They went to court because NAMBLA had posted a step by step guide on how to suduce little boys. They were force to take it down so the ACLU jumped in to defend them in court.

          Real nice. And there are STILL people on this site that support the ACLU and think they are doing “Great works”. Can you believe that????? X-(

          Anti-Christian too. Will defend any/all/no religion but Christianity. All a part of the new “secular nation” they are trying to build with no standards or judgements on behavior. If you DO have a moral standard, you are quickly branded as “pushing your religious views” on other people.

          Supported whole-heartedly by the “progressive-liberal” movement. Very similar to a bowel movement if you ask me.

        • #3044419

          I don’t understand the logic

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          Uh…it is illegal for an adult male to be sexually intimate with a non-adult girl, right? And the same goes for intimacy between an adult woman and non-adult boy, right? So how in the holy freakin’ hell can the ACLU be allowed to get their rocks off by defending this man-boy stuff?? And child porn? I can’t even think of words to describe my disgust over this. My gosh, I’m getting nauseous. I really am.

        • #3044416

          enough, enough

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          Let’s not talk about such sick things. Let’s go back to me “whipping”. 😉

        • #3046739

          More, more

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          …of the whipping! haha 😀 ]:) B-)

        • #3046735

          Final say before moving on

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Y’all are gettin’ off easy

          It IS illegal to actuatually have the sex, but it appears thanks to the ACLU that it is legal to tell people HOW to do it.

          It is also legal to have stories of such.

          It is also legal to have “virtual” porn of such.

          And with this group, everything is legal until you get caught.

          ACLU should be held accountable everytime someone that uses this information to commit a crime.

          If you download the “alchemists guide” or buy it (legal) on how to make bombs, you end up on an FBI watch list. Hopefully the same is true for this.

    • #3060851

      attn: astronomers

      by itgirli ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      Just to let you guys know, the Hunter’s moon will pass in front of the Pleiades tonight at Midnight- EST.

      • #3060836

        Thanks

        by m_a_r_k ·

        In reply to attn: astronomers

        I was just asking my coworker about that. (Damnit I need that rolling eyes emoticon again).

        • #3060828

          I dont know that symbol M_a_r_k

          by surflover ·

          In reply to Thanks

          But that’s probably beacuse I’m a redneck at heart, with long hair and a tan, bermuda’s raybans and flops, looking for work and dissing the establishment :^O

          (I love how these threads go their own way :-)… girli keeps trying to get it back on track, and the rest of us just head for the hills) :^O

        • #3060825

          redneck or hippie?

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to I dont know that symbol M_a_r_k

          [i]”I’m a redneck at heart, with long hair and a tan, bermuda’s raybans and flops, looking for work and dissing the establishment”[/i]

          Sounds more hippieish than redneckish. Maybe a redneck hippie? Hell, you’re as confused a Confederate Yankee.

        • #3060823

          Well, I did grow up in the 60’s

          by surflover ·

          In reply to redneck or hippie?

          :^O

        • #3060822

          two things

          by surflover ·

          In reply to redneck or hippie?

          “Sounds more hippieish than redneckish. Maybe a redneck hippie? Hell, you’re as confused a Confederate Yankee”

          Redneck hippies dont work… the bullets keep messing up the flowers, and the hair keps the sunburn from taking on the back of the neck…

          but I AM a “yankee confederate” (backwards no less)… :^O

        • #3060814

          I try

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to I dont know that symbol M_a_r_k

          but to little success.

        • #3060804

          What, to keep it on track?

          by surflover ·

          In reply to I try

          (I’m not helping, am I?)

          :^O

        • #3060800

          I’m sorry

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to I try

          I kinda feel bad now for goofing up your thread about the Hunting trip between Palladius and the Big Dipper. I really do. :_| I hope a starperson will respond and get it back on track. I used to like star stuff. I won second place in some sort of science fair thing when I was in the second grade. My project was a some sort of constellation thing. Gosh, I was a cute kid in those days.

        • #3060798

          the kid only a mother could love, right?

          by surflover ·

          In reply to I’m sorry

          :^O

        • #3060797

          You’re almost right

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          Not even my mom liked me. I was the kid only a dog could love.

        • #3060791

          Taht’s what’s GREAT about dogs

          by surflover ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          they’ll love you no matter how big an idiot you are (no personal reference intended)

          :^O

        • #3060567

          I hate to break it to you,

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          but a dog will love anything that has a steak tied to it’s neck.

        • #3044649

          Dogs and steaks & dogs and people

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          That may be true. Only half true, though. First of all, I’ve never had any steaks hanging around my neck. And my dogs love me anyway. Second of all, I love a good steak myself but I don’t want that steak to be my best friend. Same with dogs. They may love to wolf down a big ole’ hunk of beef every now and then, but even dogs are smart enough to know that that big ole’ hunk of beek can’t scratch behind their ears, rub their belly, play checkers with them or take them on a walk. 😀

        • #3044619

          play chess?

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          You must be smarter than I thought.

        • #3044595

          Was that a compliment?

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          Maybe a left-handed compliment at best. I am smart at some things. That might be why people sometimes refer to me as a smart ass and a smart aleck. :^O

        • #3044587

          It’s okay

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          I like you anyway.

        • #3044567

          Smart as$es

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to the kid only a mother could love, right?

          Thanks! Only a real smart ass can truly appreciate another smart ass.

          http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=8&threadID=182835&messageID=1868114

          😀

    • #3044561

      Exophilia – You gotta’ love it

      by maxwell edison ·

      In reply to How do aliens reproduce?

      .
      Aliens do it in a saucer.

      Aliens have the big-o while in a big-o.

      Alien sex gives new meaning to first-contact.

      Alien sex is out of this world.

      Alien sex — when Mars and Venus are more than a play on words.

      Aliens do it at warp speed.

      Alien sex can last light years.

      Aliens really do see stars when they do it.

      Aliens do it better than Mercury, Viking and Apollo.

      Alien sex can run rings around human sex.

      Alien sex always has a reentry.

      Alien sex will leave you floating.

      Alien sex is only quasi-physical.

      Alien sex is only paranormal.

      Okay, to be serious about it, at least as serious as your original question. How do aliens reproduce, you ask?

      Through a black hole, of course.

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