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It wasn't me. I didn't do it!

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I think that "The Evolution Lie" and "Have you had a divorce? Need tips." have come up to the surface to mate.

This could be the first [b]real[/b] AI. This could be far, far worse than any global warming. The only way to kill them is for Oz to make some posts and we can just hope that his typogarphical errors might disrupt the genetic code.

Otherwise, I fear for us all...

72 replies

by j.lupo

But, I am lost on this one. I remember vaguely about the topics, but I thought they were not being discussed anymore. I didn't see them listed in My Discussion area anymore.

As to Oz's typos, hey we gotta get our laughs somewhere. ;-)

by mickster269

If this is true... what would the offspring of such a horrid mating be?

"The Evolution of Divorce" ?

by tig2

But "Methinks thou dost protest too much". With your lightning fast protestation of innocence, you look pretty guilty to me! :)

Or is it a satanic plot to produce some unholy love child that will endlessly spam us all?

Or could it be that there is a rubber chicken in the works somehow???

Stay tuned to this thread as we seek to engage the enlightened minds of our time.

Hey Max, Oz, GG, NBusted, Dawg, JD! We need your enlightened minds! Bring the rest of the gang! :D

by jdclyde

to provide some updates to the minor monster, I have resisted as no one really wants to hear it anymore. :D

As for EL, I dropped out of that one before it hit 1k and never looked back.

[i]
( so, you thought of me last? :( )

by tig2

I only listed you all in NO PARTICULAR ORDER as that is the only way to not be offensive.

Actually, I figured you would be one of the first on this subject- quick wit and you ARE the father of one of the threads.

That would make you the Grandfather(!) of the AI spawn???

by jdclyde

[i](think Gene Wilder here)[/i]

Father of only one. That EL was not of my doing! :0

Not be offensive? Who cares if the rest are offended? They are USED to being listed after me! Look at the Top 100 Members! :D

by tig2

I truly apologise from my heart- I was dealing with the weasel formerly known as Spuddy_M and wasn't thinking straight!

Of course we need your input here- we're building a monster and you have the BEST ideas!

by maecuff

We found a kitten this morning and are hiding it in my office until the end of the day. (one of my employees is taking it home). We don't want anyone to find out it's here, because I KNOW the VP of HR would have a cow. The problem is, I'm allergic. My head is stuffy, my eyes are watering and I'm breaking out in little hives. It IS cute though.

How in the hell am I supposed to help with monster making if I'm going through all this misery to save a damn kitten? I'm too soft.

by maecuff

something about abortion and whether or not women belong in IT and the monster will be complete..

by dmambo

I think that divorced, Christian fundamentalist, lesbian, democrat abortion doctors without college degrees or Microsoft certifications who advocate large-scale changes to environmental laws to curb global warming have absolutely NO BUSINESS working in the IT industry. Although I will fight for their right to be divorced, Christian fundamentalist, lesbian, democrat abortion doctors without college degrees or Microsoft certifications who advocate large-scale changes to environmental laws to curb global warming.

Go ahead, flame away!

by tig2

Would we EVER do without you?

You misssed Libertarian, gun toting, PETA and Greenpeace enthusiasts. How could THAT have happened???

:D

by jamesrl

Bush hating, tree hugger socialized medicine loving non-Americans who love to criticize the US.

You are welcome..

James

by tig2

I used to volunteer at a local no-kill shelter. People like you are a Godsend!

If you can find a Benedryl, it might help cut the symptoms. Benadryl cream will take out the hives. I don't know of anything beyond that. I am lucky in that I don't have allergies to cats- I wouldn't be able to live in my house- 3 cats. I know how to manage the symptoms over the long term but that doesn't help you today.

You will want to have a can of Lysol with you first thing tomorrow morning. Dander is invisible and will hang around.

Help us with monster making tomorrow. We will still be plotting, I am certain.

by dmambo

I think we have another Tigger Two here!!! What have you done with the real James? You know, the polite one we're all used to. I'll bet JDClyde would like him back, too. :D

by jamesrl

You now have the firebreathing Ann Coulter worshipper here.

I've gone over to the dark side .....

James

by x-marcap

Nice tush, great legs, killer smile,pert firm...

Hey! What isn't there to like...

Oh yeah, she is conservative...

by tig2

I am the TiggerTwo with the pink ribbon, no space between Tigger and Two, am generally polite.

"Tell me you recognise me, Dorothy!"

by dmambo

You will notice that I had a space (ASCII 32) in my chastisement of the new James. I miss the old James. Whenever I had a bad thought in a discussion, I would generally read one of his posts and feel guilty that I wasn't a better person.

Ahh, the downfall of heroes is always painful to those who hold them on a pedestal.

by jamesrl

In the same day that the Ontario Minister of Energy announced that Ontario would build new nuclear power plants (not nucular), he also announced that one of the co-founders of Greenpeace now supported Nuclear energy because it didn't create CO2. The next day local Greenpeace protesters chained themselves up to the doors of the Energy Minister's office. Police cut the chains and took them away.

And I don't get the anti-seal hunt folks, at least the ones who eat meat. Calves and lambs can be cute too, but no one protects them(and I for one am glad). Lets be fair. Either protect them all or none of them.

James

by sleepin'dawg

seals are no where near being endangered, either in total or especially the harp seals. The seal population is larger today, then it has been for years.

However, little white seal pups look all cute and cuddly and serve as a better vehicle for fund raising than alligators ever will. Don't you just love the hypocrisy of the Greenpeace and PETA folks??? Got to keep all those dollars rolling in from the deluded and ignorant.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by tig2

does this mean that I can keep using the phrase "club you like a baby seal"?

Little white seals are cute but tasty animals are good for supper!

by jamesrl

It might shock the heck out of you, but up until a couple of years ago, I held a membership in the conservative party starting in 1977, when it wasn't very popular to be a conservative.

And I've even attended in my youth....a college republican convention. Sadly the young women from Texas A&M that I hung around with for a while were more interested in shopping than what I had in mind....mores the pity.

Guess I'm not terribly keen on her manner.

In Canada, we had Belinda Stronach who is quite the looker, but she crossed the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals. I'm not a big fan of floor crossers....

James

by tig2

And think Wizard of OZ.

Breathe... IN...OUT...

You'll get it, in time.

Don't forget to breathe!

by jaqui

you just haven't tapped the motivation being supplied by the furball ]:)

just think, the uffering you are going through is for the purpose of inspiring you in creating suffering for others. ]:)

by x-marcap

By the way, I have always been a fan of the woman's movement... (read it any way you like) Seeing Anne Coulter and meeting her was a pleasure.

I also like Laura Ingraham. The problem is that hearing pit-bull positions come from the lips that are attached to a pretty lady seems incongruous. But they don't seem to be floor-crossers at all...

by jamesrl

The Belinda Stronach story is pretty incredible when you think about it.

She is the daughter of one of Canada's richest businessmen, Frank Stronach, who supplies auto parts to virtually every manufacturer.

Her father dabbled in Liberal Party politics but nothing serious. When the conservatives had a leadership a few years back, she dove in with both feet, hiring all the top gun political advisors she could. She didn't win, but showed relatively well, and won a seat in the election that followed. She also started to date the person who won the leadership, Peter MacKay.

The Progress Conservative Party and the Alliance party merged, and Peter became number 2 in the merged party. Not only did she hold a critic post, she was also very involved in the party's election planning committee.

The Liberals held a minority and needed every single vote to stay in power. So they induced her to cross the floor - changing parties the day before the crucial vote.

Months later the Liberal party held and lost an election, and poor Belinda is sitting in the opposition benches.

The real nerve was to betray her boyfriend - she didn't tell him in person, he heard it on the news first. He was devastated.

And who says Canada is boring?

By the way, Belinda see Clinton when he comes to town. They are "just friends".

James

by ontheropes

I finally found JD's divorce thread. I subscribed to it and am gonna save reading it 'til the meds kick in next week. Same with the Evolution Lie hoodeehah. That's good stuff on a whole 'nother, and different level, at the very least.

by jdclyde

that you weren't around yet.

Just remember to do the "print" option so you don't have to deal with the 2000+ "next" buttons you will have to hit.

I have it in hard copy and pdf.

Note to Dawg, almost time for the black wreath. ]:)

by sleepin'dawg

huge banner across it, saying, "Happy 40th (birthday) from your loving sons". I'll bet she denies being forty but there will be the wreath announcing it for all the world to see and she won't be able to do a thing about it without looking like a real bitch. Tell the florist to make sure the banner is very firmly attached and difficult to remove without destroying the arrangement. It will be sitting front and center for all her coworkers to see, while she does a slow burn.

BTW, tip your boys off that you are sending her flowers in their name. You don't want them to be blind sided in the fallout from this.

Tell them about the banner too but you don't have to tell them about your motivations for the sentiment expressed on the banner. Maybe they'll figure it out on their own. They sound like pretty sharp kids. If they do and they still say go ahead and do it, you'll know whose sons they really are.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by sleepin'dawg

Speaking of which, I wonder where Protious X has disappeared to??? He was always good at kicking off some interesting topics, whether you agreed with his positions or not.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by deadly ernest

too young for me and I am not into dogs, so I let them go again and decided to give it a whole new slant by turning it on its side. :p

If you took her dog and dressed him in a dancing skirt you would have a.... (wait for it)....

toto tutu :^0 ;\

by jdtoo

May the fleas of a thousand camels rest in your croch!

May you use the rest room only to find all the paper is gone!

May you hit the infamous page load errors!

May you all be put on the most recent spam "limp list".

How DARE you talk about those two legendary discussions. One shows us that we are all monkeys, and the other teaches us how to get rid of a female dog. What more could one want or need out of life? :D

Damn, I am cool!

by jdclyde

that is a bad one and it is back on the prowl.....

I knew it wouldn't last! :D

Looking for victom number four...... :0

by sleepin'dawg

lady, living alone and having to take his mother on vacation, for companionship. Those types seldom have the requisite competence to pull something like that off.

Sitting alone in the corner of a pub knocking back pints of Australian horse piss, all the while leaving a lady stranded on her own, seems to be more his style. Mind you he is a defrocked chemist and that lot, aside from producing foul smells, both physical and chemical, have been known to get up to no good, such as the creation of mind altering substances. I'll bet old atheistic Neil followed the tenets of Professor Timothy O'Leary and was the major source of LSD in the British Isles for years, before having to give it up due to overindulgence in his own product. He can't deny he isn't capable of making the stuff, which probably explains why he stood you up in Brighton.

I mean, what kind of man stands a lady up, especially when she is paying for his food and booze on her expense account. The mind still boggles at that. Now if it were me, you know I'd never stand you up even if you didn't have an expense account. Real gentlemen just don't do that sort of thing to a lady. ;) :^0

Neil sir; you were a cad!!! You probably still are, which means you are more than likely the guilty party and bloody well did do it.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by gadgetgirl

were the tags above . . . . . .

"extra marital sex catastrophe"

IT WAS HIM, I TELL YOU!

He broke TR! In frustration!!

]:)

GG

by Member 25348569

(good old VLC Media Player) and I don't want any interruptions.

So bugger off!

Neil :D

p.s. I'm taking my mum on holiday to the States as an 80th birthday present. Maybe I'm just nicer than you! :p

You're right about the foul smells, though. Especially after a curry...

by sleepin'dawg

us all with recipes and menus for boiled and/or fried puppies.

I sort of remember that because it left me trying to breath coffee and a danish at the same time. It was kind of unexpected from you, at the time but we know better now. Took me all of fifteen minutes to clean off my monitor, as well as the wall behind it. I couldn't and wouldn't ask anyone else to do that.

When is the grandchild due to make its appearance?? I hope every thing is proceeding well on that front and that you have put in for some time off to go and celebrate its arrival. Hopfully all are healthy and it will not be too difficult a labour.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by tig2

How are you feeling? The kitten is hopefully well and happy in its new home and you are allergy free.

What shall we do about Neil B? He SAYS he didn't do this but I suspect he is not speaking truth...

by sleepin'dawg

Well actually he probably does, in private, which explains his near sightedness and his hairy palms. It's a good thing he is IT Sysadmin otherwise he would have a hard time explaing all the porn sites he is constantly accessing. You have to be careful of these dirty old men, who live alone and have to take their Mums on vacation. The thought of a date with a real live woman, often throws these guys into a tizzy and that probably goes a long way in explaining why he stood you up. ;) :^0

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by jdclyde

I personally think someone that cares enough to do this for their mum is doing something right.

Too many have a mum that age locked up in a nursing home somewhere that they only unlock on the holidays, because they get so busy with the day to day BS that doesn't mean anything.

Mum's trip should not be fair game. He has plenty of other baggage to rake him over the coals for.

As for "nix", I dont know about knotting them, but getting them up sure sounds like a plan? ;\

by jardinier

I moved back to live with my Mum in 1973, shortly after my father died. [That was also the year my divorce was finalised -- clean and quick as there were no kids or property involved]

My mother was quite open-minded by then so that when I brought girls home I could, well you know, do what boys and girls do when they get together.

It was a good arrangement because it meant that Mum didn't have to live alone, and I was there to do the lawn mowing, gardening and handyman jobs.

Apart from a sojourn of a few years in Kings Cross in the mid 1980s, I stayed in the family home until 1994 when my mother's dementia made it necessary to transfer her to a nursing home as she required 24/7 supervision for her own safety.

And of course I didn't turn blind or grow hair on my palms because my mother was so cool about me bringing girls home.

My poor old Mum is still in the nursing home at age 96, but hasn't recognised even her immediate family for a number of years.

by sleepin'dawg

people of what little dignity they have left, in their declining years. I was extremely lucky in that my mother remained alert and reasonably comfortable, right up till her end.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by Member 25348569

I don't. She lives in her (My) home town which is about one hundred miles away as the crow flies. I've not lived there for more than a week or few since student vacations [/i]mumble[/i] years ago.

Taking her on holiday and driving her around foreign parts for a couple of weeks - which I've done for the last few years since my Dad died - is a good way to enjoy her company. She's still one sharp-tongued lady with a good sense of humour and all of her marbles. As I get six weeks vacation per year, it's not as if I'm missing the chance to go elsewhere.

Tell you, Dawg, she'd put you in your place, no messing! :p

by sleepin'dawg

Vulnerabilities like your mother and they'll zoom right in on them no matter how big you get, if they think you are out of line, somewhere. My Mom was in her 94th year when she passed away in 03 and up until the day she died she could take me down a peg or two if she thought I needed it.

BTW now that you have had some time to consider the alternatives have you settled on an itinerary or are you still open to suggestions???

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by maecuff

I sort of recall something about boiled puppies.

You know, if nothing else, I AM inconsistent.

by maecuff

Yes..the kitten is settling in to her new home. The allergies are better, but I had a 2 hour phone call with the stupid f*cking auditors this morning and I still have a pounding headache from that. They kill me. I'm right, I know I'm right, THEY know I'm right, but they have to keep creating these ridiculous scenarios. You know..what are we going to do when ninjas drop out of the ceiling and force the programming staff to update production data..reasonable stuff like that. At least I got them to downgrade our big issue from a significant deficiency to a small deficiency. Of course, I'm going to be spending the rest of the afternoon writing back up documentation and proving my already very simple to understand controls.

by jellimonsta

Well, I just finished watching the match (went home for lunch to watch the 2nd half). We need to work on chemistry and consistency if you ask me.
The build up was nice, but the finishing just wasn't there. At least we came away with the win again... that's what counts!! :D

by sleepin'dawg

especially when referring about your perversities in private. How often do you have to shave those palms so the hair doesn't become matted with food when you eat??? :^0

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by Member 25348569

I only eat with the right hand so shaving is easy. The hair on the other hand is quite handy (Pun Intended) if you get my meaning. A little spruce up with Head, Shoulders and Palm and it's as good as new...

As for perversities in private - how do you know it's in private?

by mickster269

I feel like I need to go take a hot shower to cleanse myself after reading some of these threads.

by x-marcap

I have our auditors here too.

I only wish you didn't get into trouble when they can't find the bodies!!! ;-)

by Member 25348569

when I agree with you whether reading or writing. Once hit, though, [Submit] is (or should be) final however much one would like to retract it or move it to the Yuk.

Such is life, though, Mick.

by Member 25348569

Fly into Vegas, spend a few days there and then kick off touring. The "must visits" are Bryce Canyon, Grand Canyon, Monument Valley and Death Valley and anything inbetween. Fly out of Vegas.

JD has been a real good bloke and sent me a bunch of tour guides for California, Arizona, Utah and Nevada so I'm busy reading up and filling in the finer points of the itinerary. Being slightly anal, I will travel with a six inch thick mile by mile guide and more maps...

I'm hoping to swing three weeks - usually not allowed but there is precedent in the team - so we can do a good job and maybe even get into California.

Any "must see" recommendations within a three or four hundred miles of Vegas will still be appreciated. four or more hundred miles in a day is a pain but I'm OK to do it.

Thanks for asking. :D

by sleepin'dawg

Newfoundlanders and the aboriginals, seal meat is a delicacy. Seal flipper soup is quite tasty but I can't claim to have been very impressed with the seal meat as it tastes a bit fishy. I would definitely put it in the classification of an acquired taste.

Alligator, though is an entirely different matter and the meat is quite edible. I won't say it tastes like chicken but the texture is somwhat similar. I know this will sound weird but alligator tastes like snake, which does taste like chicken. :D

I look at vegetables as what food eats.

What you've never ever taken a seal pup out with a club??? It's a right of passage for Newfoundlanders and aboriginals. Amongst the aboriginals. it's the women who do the tanning of the hides. Aboriginals are poor; thats why a club is used, it's cheaper than ammunition and less damaging to the pelts.

If you would like to see a seal hunt up close, I could help arrange that for you. The hunt takes place in the spring before the thaw. I can even introduce you to somethings that only Newfoundlanders seem partial to and that would be a drink called "Screech", which will leave you breathless the first time you try it and for food, real delicasies are cod or salmon cheeks and toungues. If you think I'm kidding just Google Newfoundland's tourist information. They may provide recipes for this as well as for flipper soup and seal meat.

If you think you might be serious about going, let me know before the end of November. You have to book your trip early to avoid the rush and assure yourself of a place on one of the boats.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by sleepin'dawg

with the AAA(American Automobile Association). Ask for something called a triptyk which will lay out your whole route in a narrow strip c/w alternates and all you have to do is turn the pages. The maps are neutral coloured but your route is marked in red. They will even tell you clearly,the distances and driving times between points and recommend places to stay. I'm not sure but I think they will even make resevations for you. I haven't used the service for a few years but when I did I found it very useful plus it was cheap. The other alternative is to have one of those GPS/autopilot navigation systems. A lot of rental cars have them now but you would have to load your planned route into it.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by tig2

And the idiots wonder why no one gives a smeg about compliance? GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Good to know that the kitten is doing well and the allergy isn't being tormented. But Geeze!

I SO get where you are coming from. I got to play with it on the SoD front- "No, the AP people have a different security profile than the AR people. No, procurement doesn't write cheques, vendor management writes them. No, our PMs DON'T source our vendors, procurement does. No, that isn't the same security access...

AAAAAARRRRGH!

At least you were able to get them to see reason. Ish.

Want to borrow my "office supply" next time? .38 caliber "hole punch"! Be happy to help!

by maecuff

I may borrow that hole punch.

I had to write a paragraph explaining how IT personnel with command line access on our AS/400 can't 'accidently' update production data. How do you DO that without sounding sarcastic? I tried. I don't know how successful I was. I guess it's not COMPLETELY impossible to imagine a person accidently keying in a CL command for a file utility or something of the sort, and then ACCIDENTLY identify a file, then ACCIDENTLY update data in the file. sheesh.

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