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James' Rant of the Week - Bridal Showers

By JamesRL ·
So I normally don't pay much mind to such things, but my wife brought this one to my attention.

She has a friend who she is close to, who has helped us out in the past, and she is also friends with this person's daughter, who happens to be getting married.

The maid of honor is holding a bridal shower. Nothing wrong with that, my wife had several(my mom's community group had one because the members knew me all my life, so I had to make a token appearance).

But its the nature of the event that is disturbing. Instead of bringing whatever gift you feel is appropriate to the occasion, instead it will be one of those home shopping parties where the guests will buy the items demonstrated. They may buy some for the bride, and may buy some for themselves, and the maid of honor has assured the guests that all of the profits will go to a fund for the bride.

But my wife had been planning her own wedding gift - she makes quilts by hand. She doesn't mind giving a shower gift as well, but the idea of it being a commericial event just doesn't sit well.

Personally, I'm appalled, and I'm sure my mom, who taught me about etiquette and polite society would be too.

Is this common? Anyone else get worked up over things like this? Perhaps I'm just too old and old-fashioned.


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I hate that..

by GSG In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

I went to a housewarming like that where the new homeowner had the nerve to tell me how much I had to spend so that she could get the free gift as hostess. I brought something so didn't buy.

I think it wuold be appropriate to not buy anything, and give the quilt.

I know when one of my close family members was starting out, they didn't want to ask people for stuff, and had to be forced to do a bridal registry. Turns out that all the extended family gave them cash instead and that was used for important things like badly needed tires, rent, etc... That was more appreciated than random stuff was.

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I've never heard of this disgusting practice.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

This is an ugly attempt to hijack guests invited to what they thought was something else entirely. If the goal of a shower to buy a "gift" on site, not bring one with you, then it should be held wherever the potentially happy couple has already registered. That way you'll at least buy something you know they want, not what the "hostess / prostitute" happens to be selling. ("Oh, look dear. More Tupperware...:)

I would no more put up with it at a shower than I would if somebody asked me over to watch the Daytona 500 and spent the race trying to sell me souvenirs. If I knew in advance, I wouldn't show.

Mind you, I'm all for bridal showers. That's why all weddings should be held out doors. Most of those dresses look pretty darn slinky when they get plastered down by a good rain. Showering the bridesmaids with champagne usually works out well too.

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Home parties have changed, Palmi

by jdclyde In reply to I've never heard of this ...

"Back in the ?50s, women from suburbia would host Tupperware parties as a way to socialize, make some money (or freebies) and indulge in shopping. Nowadays, these parties are all about fancy home decor, makeup, shoes, lingerie or even sex toys. "

One "Kongdong" for the bride to be? :0

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No problem.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Home parties have changed ...

Just don't pretend your home sales party is a bridal or baby shower, or anything else other than what it is: a sales pitch. I wouldn't buy anything from anyone inviting me over for chicken salad when they know they're serving chicken s#!t. If I found myself an intended victim of such a 'bait and switch', I'd leave. (Unless a hot hostess planned on demo'ing the afore mentioned adult goodies. I still wouldn't buy anything, but I might stick some singles under her G-string in recognition of her true profession.)

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Taking advantage of

by jdclyde In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

and being rude bores to boot.

People today are so self absorbed that they don't realize what they are doing.

It is bad enough to con everyone of your acquaintances to go to a home shopping party, but to make it a part of the shower is just tacky.

It is the thought that counts. Tell your wife you are not OBLIGATED to purchase ANYTHING, and it is a GIFT from you to them.

Drop that to Mrs. Manners and she would go ballistic. ;\

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by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

I agree with you.

Gift giving is a wonderful thing when the givers heart is in it (as your Mom's is in her quilts). It strikes me that this removes heart from the equation rendering a gift not a gift.

It also sounds to me like the maid of honor is an opportunist. I likely wouldn't go and just send a gift. But I can be an @sshole that way.

Blech, all the way around.

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I agree with you , but you are not the one going to the shower

by DadsPad In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

it is your wife, and that is the difference. If your wife is anything like mine, the closeness of the bride or the one giving the shower means a lot. If there is a closeness, then obligations come into play and if she must attend, then will feel obligated to buy, at least, something. I, myself, would most likely not go, or if I did, not buy anything.

Weddings are too commercial as it is, but the blatant way of taking advantage of friends is ... well disappointing.

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As one getting married in a few months

by Dumphrey In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

I can say I would loath such an experience, but my finacee would be rolling with laughter, telling everyone they were retarded, then getting them all to each buy her one the more expensive item, which she would then give to goodwill.

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Tackiness and bad taste know no limits, with today's brides & their mothers

by sleepin'dawg In reply to James' Rant of the Week - ...

In the old days, a guys invovement, if he were a batchelor, was limited to a cash gift, or if married, to paying for whatever piece of crap, his wife selected as a gift for the "happy couple". At no time was he expected to make even a token appearance unless he was the poor schnook whose intended was the one being showered, at which point his main function was to lug the "gifts" (read crap) to the car. In the event that he was the sacrificial victim, His main function was to pay for the photographer, gifts for the ushers and beat man, the flowers and the method of transport to the church and reception. Most of what he was expected to do, could have been phoned in, but mainly consisted of making sure he showed up at the right church, on the appointed day at the right time, to marry the, supposedly, right girl.

Thanks to the modern, light-in-his-loafers, new sensitive, metrosexual, male there are now no limits to the depths of gauchery, tackiness and plain old out and out bad taste that todays ordinary man is expected to descend to. The levels of stupidity, cupidity and depravity of todays modern bride and their voraciously greed motivated mothers is without limit.

When I was told what was expected of me by one of my former mothers-in law, I told her, quite rudely, she said, what I was willing to pay for as regarded the wedding but in return I expected no arguments about having their darling little daughter sign a prenuptial agreement, drawn up by my lawyer. I also informed them that I considered any reception in excess of 75 guests a ridiculous waste of time and money. As for gifts, I didn't give a damn but thought the custom amongst Italians, Poles and Ukranians of giving cash, an admirable and highly efficient one and would eliminate the need to exchange or return multiple toasters and/or food processors etc.

Thankfully, or regretably as it later turned out, I was allowed to get away with this because my future father-in-law understood my point of view and approved of it. My ex mother-in-law never did forgive me for grabbing the cash before she could con her daughter into buying a lot of useless garbage. The investments I made bought and paid for our first and second houses.

If your wife feels obligated to attend, then she should do so on her own terms but, unless you are the sacrificial goat, stay the **** away or better yet, suggest getting together with the other hen-pecked husbands and go on a pub crawl, take in a ball game, go golfing; anything but wimping out and attending an affair meant only for a bunch of cackling females. In short have the balls to draw a line and declare that beyond that you will not go. And for God's sake and your own pride and peace of mind, stick to it.

Dawg ]:)

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by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to Tackiness and bad taste k ...

Well, and strongly put.

I'm giggling my @ss off, and I wouldn't even disagree. Good one.

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