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Late Friday Yuk

By HAL 9000 Moderator ·
Well as no one has bothered to start off a Friday Yuk yet I'll guess it's up to me.

You lot must be having some very good weather in th Northern Hemisphere as there are so few of you actually contributing to any thing. I'm almost jealous.

Interview with 104 year old woman
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?

I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

` A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97 Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10 . Oh heck, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.

Have a great time this weekend but I don't expect any of you to see this before Tuesday my time.

Col ]:)

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by maecuff In reply to Late Friday Yuk

Col, there IS a Friday yuk started. And I posted some extraordinarily funny jokes...

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Mae what was it posted under?

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to actually..

It's not showing up on any of the Miscellaneous Listings I've gone back to Jaqui's one of last week and there is nothing at all showing.

Col ]:)

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Serious Note

by ozi Eagle In reply to Mae what was it posted un ...

Hi Col,

This (last?) week's Friday Yuk took on a serious tone and was posted under NETWORK ADMIN.

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Good one

by AV . In reply to Late Friday Yuk

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