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  • #2180004

    Let me introduce myself…


    by kevin dubya ·

    I am new to this forum but not to forums.
    Sounds like a riddle, however the similarity is merely coincidental. I hope to be able to learn and exchange what little information or knowledge that I have gleaned. So rather than sit on the sidelines i thought that I would announce myself to your esteemed forum(s).

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  • Author
    • #3117939

      Once again it is an Australian

      by jardinier ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      who is first to welcome you to the TechRepublic community because the Americans are all asleep in their various time zones.

      I (we) hope you will enjoy the experience and contribute to the various discussions and also to the Technical Q & A section.

      • #3117930


        by kevin dubya ·

        In reply to Once again it is an Australian

        Thanks for the welcome – I didnt expect an answer from across the pond and to be honest I wasnt expecting an answer from down under…but thanks. I’ll try my best with contributions in the technical QnA .. I will certainly enjoy the experience…life’s to short to complain about forums?

    • #3117911

      Well just provided you avoid the Miscellaneous

      by hal 9000 ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      Section and stick to the technical side of things you shouldn’t have any problems. 🙂

      Unlike when you where younger and taught never to mention Sex, Religion or Politics here all you have to avoid is the politics unless you want your fingers burnt but I hope you enjoy your experiences here at TR.


      Col ]:)

      • #3117896

        Avoidance issues..

        by kevin dubya ·

        In reply to Well just provided you avoid the Miscellaneous


        Were I to avoid these issues then I might still be in a place where I was still young!! Jesting aside when I was young I was taught to avoid people who didnt know how to avoid getting personally incensed about Sex Religion or Politics and therefore to leave these subject areas alone and claim a degree of naive ignorance, a useful ploy for other areas such as technology when faced with ijots…
        anyway thanks for the heads up and I’m sure I will enjoy the forums…thanks…

        • #3131446

          It has been YEARS

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Avoidance issues..

          since I have heard “ijots”!

          Get on your asbestos suit and enjoy the ride. You should fit in just fine.

        • #3131440

          The only reason you haven’t heard it

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to It has been YEARS

          is because after your initial breakdown/hiccup in the divorce thread, you haven’t been one!

          (and there are a multitude of ways of spelling it… eejet!)

          (j/k…….:x really!)


    • #3117835

      Welcome to the Water Cooler

      by gadgetgirl ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      the virtual Water Cooler that is known as the miscellaneous section.

      Drop in anytime, you’ll find all sorts of people, discussing all sorts of subjects, and you’ll soon find out the ones to avoid (mostly!)

      Watch out for off topic posts though…..we are absolutely notorious for straying (yes, you too, Col!) and have even been known to cross thread the odd discussion or two!

      You’ll soon figure out who’s who, and what’s what, so welcome.

      Now, can you just send me a copy of your Certificate of Insanity for the files, please?

      😀 :p


      • #3131448

        off topic

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to Welcome to the Water Cooler

        who is off topic?

        WELCOME to TR!

        Pay no mind to the man behind the curtian.

        We here are just as likely to discuss how to tweek your server as we are to go into a side thread quoting Monty Python.

        Some are just firebrands looking to stir things up, others are strictly by the book with none of this sillyness.

        I on the other hand am always serious, except for when I’m not.

        (hey gg, the way you purr out that please really does things…… 😡 )

        • #3131443

          JD! BEHAVE!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to off topic

          Bad boy!

          You were going off topic again! And look what happened when you did that to the last newbie…..she/he’s never been back since!

          What are you trying to do? Frighten them away before they can get their cup under the virtual water cooler???


          (Pprrrroud to be of “service” !)


        • #3131235

          Now come on GG

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to JD! BEHAVE!

          My first posting to TR brought about a storm of protest mainly by Maxwell if I remember rightly and I thought “What the Hell have I gotten into?” I thought I was asking a simple question but with the feelings running hot at the time every on took it as a personal attack and my monitor melted. :p

          This is a much nicer way of introducing people here as they are not frightened off as quickly. After all it’s much better than our ruling Monarch running around demanding “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!” 😀

          Col ]:)

        • #3131502

          I beg to differ

          by jessie ·

          In reply to off topic

          [i][b]”We here are just as likely to discuss how to tweek your server as we are to go into a side thread quoting Monty Python.”[/i][/b]

          ‘Fraid knot, JD. We here in the misc section are much more likely to discuss how to tweek Monty Python than go into a side thread quoting your server.

          And another thing, why exactly must I BEG to differ? Can’t I just [i]request[/i] to differ?

        • #3131473


          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to I beg to differ

          Never [b]Beg to Differ[/b] just Demand your right to disagree! :p

          Anyway hows the rug rat coming along now days I haven’t head anything about her or seen any of her posts here at TR. 😀

          Actually I’m making the most of things as my son is shortly getting married and I’m working hard on restoring my mobile home I’m planning a short holiday touring round AU for the next 35 + years with different SIM cards in the mobiles. I can fit about 10 real computers in the back of the Mercedes so I’ll be happy my own little private network will travel and no kids to drive me nuts or madder than I currently am at least. :^O

          Col ]:)

      • #3131242

        How dare you GG

        by hal 9000 ·

        In reply to Welcome to the Water Cooler

        I never stray off the topic ever! :^O

        But for a good idea of the virtual Water Cooler visit for some idea of what the real Miscellaneous topics are about. :p

        And Your Majesty I have posted my report from my shrink straight to you instead of sending an electronic copy as I don’t understand most of the words & I was hoping that you would translate for me. 😀

        Col ]:)

    • #3131421

      Welcome (curtsying, if thats a word !!! )

      by stargazerr ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      I hope you dont get scared away too….This other person posted a discussion, same as yours, and hasnt been seen since…

      We are just keeping that discussion going by welcoming the doors and windows 😀 ..

      I bet you will have fun here at TR…Everyone here is fun in his or her own way, Like GG or JD say, we may stray off topic, but almost always someone drags us back …… and then we stray off again…

      Have fun

    • #3131384

      pleasant response

      by kevin dubya ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      Must just say what a kind and mature set of responses…just thought I’d say hi, as I do intend to use the forums for both work and play.. and wanted to give a little back…so to speak.

    • #3131272

      Welcome, dude. . .

      by swgoldwire2546 ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      Welcome to the TechRepublic Crew, Kevin.

      I have figured out that tenacity and thick skin are the keys to survival in this threaded forum. If you got issues I will be more than happy to respond. If I have issues feel free to respond.

      Once again, welcome 🙂


    • #3131195

      Welcome Kevin Dot Dubya

      by m_a_r_k ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      Esteemed? hah! You’ve got a lot to learn! 😀 Are you related to George W? You’ve got the same last name. Rather than retyping what I typed yesterday to welcome another newcomer (a newcomer that we have already chased away, by the way), I will just post a link to that post:

    • #3131192

      Welcome then

      by oz_media ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      If you are in the mood to argue in circles about politics, check out the miscellaneous topics.

      If you are in th emood to share a joke, there is always a Friday Yuk started each week, if you don’t see it, start it.

      If you need tech advice or help, this is one of the most valuable resources you will ever stumble upon.

      Funny how the same group fits each of these forums, but hey, we laugh, we cry, we argue, in the end it’s a good bunch of peers to know.

      • #3130668

        The only thing to remember kevin.w

        by hal 9000 ·

        In reply to Welcome then

        Is that being in AU we are a day ahead of the US and Canadian Peers and they do get upset if we start off a Friday Yuk on our Friday. 🙁

        We have to wait till Saturday mourning Local Time to get involved as some people here get their knickers in a knot if we start things off to early for them. :p

        Col ]:)

    • #3131148


      by bfilmfan ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      Please remember to keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

      No standing as this might cause severe head trauma.

      No teasing the ladies, they all have guns, knives, frying pans and heavy purses loaded with bricks and quarters as melee weapons to defend their honor.

      Please note that in the event of an accident, I do hope you are wearing clean underwear or else we’ll be sure to tell your momma.

      • #3130508


        by maecuff ·

        In reply to Welcome

        you could just go sans underwear and really horrify your mother..

        Glad to have you here, Kevin!

    • #3130786


      by ldyosng ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      TR is the next best thing to a good nights’ sleep.

      At least it’s what I do instead . . . .

    • #3130697

      Thanks for all your kind responses

      by kevin dubya ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      You haven’t scared me off yet!! I feel very priveledged to have been accorded such a hospitable welcome. I hope that I can contribute in a positive and perhaps offbeat manner as I neleive is sometimes required – hey who said we needed to be inside the cube….and leftfield perspectives have been known to uncover paradigm shifts…oh where was I going…need more coffee…cheers.

      Kevin Dubya (No Bush relation) but check this for strange coincidence – I do live at “The White House”…

      • #3130693

        Get back to work you slacker

        by neilb@uk ·

        In reply to Thanks for all your kind responses

        If I don’t have time to sit here posting on TR then why should you?


        • #3130688

          Wot no welcome – harsh words from the welshman…

          by kevin dubya ·

          In reply to Get back to work you slacker

          I am not sure that allegations of slacking and forum surfing is called for – reminds me of a story involving a pot and a kettle….would imagine its time for you to check TSM though?
          Anyway I heard you were doing part-time now 😉

        • #3130665

          Actually the Part Time is right for Neil

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Wot no welcome – harsh words from the welshman…

          But in his case “It’s Part Time Human and full time work.” :p

          He’s actually nothing more than a whining Pom who has a very short life expectancy as he stood up the Queen Geek after he made arraignments to see her so he’s currently looking out the Window often just to make sure that there are no Naval Ships coming up the Thames if he sees one he’s off. :^O

          Col ]:)

        • #3130634

          Tell you, Colin

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Actually the Part Time is right for Neil

          If I see anything flying a black and white striped flag, I’m off so fast…

          What you doing up? Isn’t this past your bedtime?


        • #3130538


          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Tell you, Colin

          It’s just going on 2.00 AM still early yet. :p

          Anyway you know what they say about a Woman Scorned and you where silly enough to upset Her Royal Highness that is suicidal. 😉

          Col ]:)

        • #3132073

          NeilB, I think you’re poorly…..

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Tell you, Colin

          you didn’t bite at the newbie for the part-time remark……

          You feeling ok?

          (or is the powdered glass I had administered to your coffee beginning to take effect….?)



          (If you ARE poorly, let me know – I’ll postpone the time for you to be sent to the Tower and beheaded. Got to have you fit and healthy for that…..)

      • #3130617


        by m_a_r_k ·

        In reply to Thanks for all your kind responses

        I see you changed your name, Kevin Dot Dubya. Now my original post makes no sense. 🙁 (NOTE to world: Kevin Dubya’s original name was “kevin.w”. You can figger out the rest.) It’s nice to see that you appreciate a bit of sarcastic wit. Welcome to my team. 😀

        BTW, I’m thinking a number of people here on TR dislike you already just because you live in a white house. (Names withheld to protect the guilty.) Doesn’t matter to them that it’s not the real White House. If you were related to George Dubya, you’d need the protection of the National Guard whenever you set foot in TR. Stick around awhile and you’ll see what I mean. 😐

        • #3130608

          In that case Mark

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Dubya

          as I too live in a white house, does this mean I’m the First Lady??? Hmm? (Careful with your reply. Unless you want to join NeilB in heading for the Tower)

          (Mental note to self: stop posting idiotic remarks like this till you’ve ascertained who Dubya’s wife is, if she’s liked, what she looks like, etc….oh the trials of being in the UK)



        • #3130574

          Or maybe…

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to In that case Mark

          …you’re just an intern with special privileges? 😀 Uh-oh, does that qualify me for this tower of yours?

        • #3130553

          OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Or maybe…

          (That’ll be a “yes”, then!)

          Lucky for you, my house isn’t only white……it has a gloss silvergrey/lilac mix on the framework. It was white and red, but that denotes the Black Cats, ergo was known locally as the Mackem House (ask NeilB if I’ve lost you on this one!) If we changed it to black and white it would have been the Toon House, and so on. So we had to mix our own colour, so we didn’t get saddled with accreditation to a football team!

          So, special privileges, yes. Intern? Nope. Way past that…..




        • #3130524

          Yep, you totally lost me

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

          Maybe something got lost in the translation to English from…well, from English (?). Shiny silvery lilac/dark white log cabin, black cats, McKenzie House, …… does TR have a “dizzy” icon?

        • #3130506

          no, and despite requests….

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Yep, you totally lost me

          they don’t have an angel icon, either!

          I shall personally put in a request to Smorty and Jay for a dippy tart icon!

          And I’m sure NeilB will explain the paintwork post at some stage, if he gets bored enough!



        • #3130475

          Thanks for clearing up my confusion

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Yep, you totally lost me

          ?:| Still needing that dizzy icon.

        • #3131783

          Neilb’s translation services – Mackem

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

          Trust me! This is obscure but, like most football rivalries, really matters up North.

          Geordies – of which tribe GG is surely a member – live in and around Newcastle-Upon-Tyne in the North East of England. This possibly includes Gateshead, across the River Tyne, but I’m not going to stick my neck out! Newcastle United play in black and white vertical stripes. Their fans are the Toon Army.

          Down the road is Sunderland. Not far in US terms, probably 15 miles. They are the Mackems and their team plays in Red and White vertical stripes.

          They are rivals! A red and white house in Newcastle would have a burning goalpost planted on the lawn within a day!

          By the way, Sunderland are up sh:t creek without a paddle. Five points from twelve games is not good. Newcastle are boringly but snugly nested halfway up (or down).

        • #3131746

          You Brits are crazy

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Neilb’s translation services – Mackem

          about your soccer. I mean football. Wasn’t the word “hooligan” invented by Shakespeare to describe some of the more zealous of the lot? (j/k) haha

        • #3130555

          Royal Dissent?

          by kevin dubya ·

          In reply to In that case Mark


          I live in “The” White House whereas your abode I would hazard a guess is painted white….apart from Buck House I mean…
          but is this treason…?

          Kevin “not bush, not political, not american…” dubya…
          (maybe its time to morph Tag (again))???

        • #3130550

          I knew it!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Royal Dissent?

          by your post, and your profile, you’re A Subject, aren’t you?

          So now you have to explain “The” White House, don’t you, as I know you’re not in the real one!

          Also, I have the feeling you have met NeilB somewhere before – if so, we need to talk, We must further consider taking Our Majestic Revenge on his head, and you, Sir Knight, could be very useful.

          (and it’s GG btw, not Queenie. Think about it. Old UK programs…..)



        • #3130529

          Your Majesty

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to I knew it!

          Which Head?

          Col ]:)

        • #3131718

          Bloody peasants

          by oz_media ·

          In reply to I knew it!

          WOMAN: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

          DENNIS: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–

          WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

          DENNIS: That’s what it’s all about if only people would–

          ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

          WOMAN: No one live there.

          ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?

          WOMAN: We don’t have a lord.

          ARTHUR: What?

          DENNIS: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

          ARTHUR: Yes.

          DENNIS: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.

          ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

          DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,–

          ARTHUR: Be quiet!

          DENNIS: –but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more–

          ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

          WOMAN: Order, eh — who does he think he is?

          ARTHUR: I am your king!

          WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.

          ARTHUR: You don’t vote for kings.

          WOMAN: Well, ‘ow did you become king then?

          ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!

          DENNIS: Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

          ARTHUR: Be quiet!

          DENNIS: Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

          ARTHUR: Shut up!

          DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d put me away!

          ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

          DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

          ARTHUR: Shut up!

          DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

          HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!

          ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!

          DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about — did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn’t you?

          Sorry, MP flashback again! 😉

        • #3131465

          Oz- thats just class…

          by kevin dubya ·

          In reply to Bloody peasants

          pure class.
          You’ve just brightened up my afternoon…

        • #3131869

          Now you know the discussion has deteriorated

          by montgomery gator ·

          In reply to Bloody peasants

          Someone had to bring up Monty Python!! 🙂

        • #3117388

          Egads! . . .

          by swgoldwire2546 ·

          In reply to Bloody peasants

          Monty Python, Monty Python, Monty Python!

          Is SOMEBODY HOOKED on SPAMALOT or what?!?

          SpecieTwit: No more Monty Python, please!!!

          Yayamomo: Excuse me, who is Monty Python?

          SpecieTwit: I do not KNOW and do not CARE!!! Make the species stop!!!

          Oh, I am sorry Oz, I get into these bursts of funny dialogues when certain situations come up:D


        • #3132063

          I sought a private audience…

          by kevin dubya ·

          In reply to I knew it!

          …..but now I fear public humiliation.

          I am duty bound as a loyal subject to reveal that I have received remuneration for my presence in the same environs as NeilB (is he knighted?) ..

          never said we actually worked together – well not both at the same time…

          he was normally too busy surfing…

        • #3132057


          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I sought a private audience…

          so, you have inside knowledge of NeilB then?

          Come on, then, spill it….if you want to retain certain parts of your anatomy……



        • #3132039

          …by Royal Command…

          by kevin dubya ·

          In reply to I sought a private audience…

          …I must admit that I have no inside knowledge…but plenty of stories!

        • #3132023

          Right, hang on a mo’

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I sought a private audience…

          ok, I’m comfy now…….start telling those stories…..



        • #3130519

          Not American??

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Royal Dissent?

          :O Off with this infidel’s head! Those people that I said would dislike you b/c you live in a white house…now that they know you’re not American, they suddenly love you.

          er…why is GG talking so much about heads today? ?:|

        • #3131788

          GG is the Queen Geek

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Not American??

          And is exercising her Royal Prerogative with those who have upset her. 😉

          So beware I’m not quite sure if she means removing someones head with an axe/sword or something similar or doing a circumcision the Mel Brooks way. :p

          Col ]:)

        • #3131751

          Thanks for the warning

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to GG is the Queen Geek

          Neither one of those beheadings sound very appealing.

        • #3130534


          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Dubya

          Here in AU we mostly all live in “White Houses” with the climate here they are cooler and require less electricity to keep cool. :p

          If we paint them dark colours the air conditioning bill goes through the roof. 🙁

          Col ]:)

        • #3130509

          white houses

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to M_a_r_k

          It’s pretty damn hot in my part of the world, too. We mostly have brick houses around here(usually orange-ish or white-ish) with a nice layer of insulation ‘tween the inside wall and outside wall. Roof is typically a dark or gray composition tile, though. Some people who have some forethought (not many of those) have the house built with garage on the sunnier west side to keep the sun off the wall and strategically plant large trees on the south and west side to shade the roof and walls.

          Are the houses in AU wood exterior? I wonder how good of an insulator brick is compared to white-painted wood. I’d hate to have to repaint the house every 10 years.

        • #3131784

          Some are weather board

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to white houses

          But most are brick veneer with rendering over the brick work and then painted white and with insulation in the wall cavity.

          As far as roofs go they are mostly of a light colour up here anyway or corrugated iron a silver colour which is plenty hot underneath them. This was brought back to me a few days ago when I had to run some CAT5E cables the suspended ceiling was only 18 inches or so from the roof and when you lifted out one of the ceiling tiles the heat hit you like a sledge hammer. Something like 40 C in the building and 80 + C in the ceiling. The piece of plastic channelling went all soft and bent up as I tried to feed the cable through the ceiling. 🙁

          Of course roof vents help no end but as they are a sensible idea very few people have them. 🙂

          Col ]:)

        • #3131752

          Attic temperatures

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Some are weather board

          If I can do still my long division correctly, 80 deg C is damn near boiling. I haven’t ever put a thermometer in any of our attics but I’m guessing about 160 deg F (approx 68-70 deg C). Crawling up there in the middle of summer is not good for one’s health. We have high, pitched roofs so there’s quite a bit of dead space between the ceiling and the roof. Ten feet or more at the highest point and sloping down to where roof meets outside wall/ceiling.

          Ahh…it’s late spring for you chaps down in AU. I didn’t know Australia had such hot weather (being a stone’s throw from Antartica and all 😉 ).How hot (in temperature) does it get there in summer? We typically get temps around 102 F. Again, assuming my math is correct, that would be approximately 38.88888…. deg C.

        • #3131591

          That’s about right for this latitude

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Attic temperatures

          Somewhere between 35 & 40 C but with high humidity here so it gets unbearable some days and it’s not much cooler now than full summer.

          When we get into roof spaces here to pull cable we typically can only stay in there for about 10 minute periods and have to have a 30 minute break to recover or the spots before your eyes get too big and you can no longer see or stand up. 🙂

          In a case like that they just throw some ice packs on you and let you recover but we don’t recommend that as it allows a longer time not working and actually bludging by lying on the floor not working. Further North up in the Country places like Charters Towers they regularly see 45 C during the day and only something like 8 C at night terrible temp swings but at least it’s dry heat and bearable. Once I drove from Charters Towers to Townsville and went from 45 C in the shade to 36 C in Townsville and nearly died as the humidity in CT was something like 3% and in Townsville 90% getting out of an air conditioned Police Car into that in polyester overalls was a real killer.

          Pine Gap out near the Alice has similar temp swings during the day hot days very cold nights and it plays havoc with electronics so there is always a constant stream of repairs coming in. When I was there all our gear was in underground air conditioned temp controlled rooms so there was no real problems but we got a constant stream or repair work from the base staff who had electronic toys in the open.

          Col ]:)

        • #3132062

          Police car?

          by m_a_r_k ·

          In reply to Attic temperatures

          Were you handcuffed, also? Did you spend much time in jail? 😉

          45 deg C? That’s like 110 deg F. The hottest parts of the U.S. (Arizona and Death Valley in southern California) hit 110 for a couple of weeks in midsummer but that IS pretty damn hot. It’s a dry heat there too. I had no idea Australia was such an oven.

        • #3132376

          Actually I like that one

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Attic temperatures

          No actually I moved to Charters Towers to escape my reputation where everyone wanted instant & correct answers to their problems in a couple of fields that I used to work in.

          So I bought a Sewing Machine Shop and moved north way into the Tropics {I used to fix sewing machines when I was working my way through Uni and I never really escaped from it. :(} So I thought moving to a small country town would be an easy life. Unfortunately one of the Reps from Ford saw me while I was wasting time walking around the town one day and told the local dealer to employ me, apparently he knew me by face from my days in motor racing when I was firstly supplying support for the fuel injection equipment that all the Aussie Bread Race cars used and then when I worked for a Ford Team after I was given the ultimatum from IBM to return as QLD Service Manager or else, I was sent to the fuel injection subsidiary as punishment for repairing Mainframe Boards and even worse showing no remorse. 😀

          Apparently all the Electronic Engineers sent there saw this as punishment and none lasted more than a few months as it meant working weekends all over AU during [b]The Season.[/b] As I started a design house to build race cars when I left Uni I was in my element so the punishment didn’t work and better still I was being paid to indulge my passion. :p

          Well as I used to be part of a design team who built race cars I had to be able to drive them to find problems that the drivers where having and while I would never call myself a Racing Driver I did drive the race cars on closed circuits apparently the Accountant who sent me to purgatory for punishment didn’t bother to read my employment details but just sent me to the worst job currently available and I loved it to bits and didn’t want to return as it was what I loved doing and much better than working as the State Service Manager with all that paper work. It wasn’t the first time that some intended form of punishment failed to have the desired result.

          Anyway apparently the Ford Dealer ran adds in the local news paper for 6 months trying to get me to work there {I only found out about this after I’d been there for about 12 months} but I was a bit suspicious when I rang up about the add which I eventually saw when bored to death and was told that I started there at 7.30 AM next morning when I mentioned my name. Anyway because I used to drive a bit fast in a previous job I was given the Police cars to road test when required as all the others there thought that driving at 140 KPH was really driving fast while I would tend to fall asleep at these slow speeds things only started getting interesting above 250 KPH on dirt roads in my books everything else was way too slow. So while I was prepared to drive faster than anyone else there I was given the nasty jobs and the fact that when I arrived there I had a full set of Snap On tools that wasn’t expected was a bit of a bonus as the guy who ran the workshop thought that he would be supplying me tools as well and the first day I showed up in the current Champions Racing Teams overalls and a big box of tools made him feel safe [b]SILLY BOY.[/b]

          Actually that was the best job I’ve ever had as I wasn’t expected to know it all and could ask for help when I ran into problems, unfortunately that all fell to bits when Ford had a technical meeting in Townsville for the electronics in their new range of cars and the guy giving the technical presentation was someone that I had trained. As Townsville was 160 K away we all car pooled to get there and I unfortunately ended up with the Dealer Principal and Workshop Manager in the car that I went down there in. Phil was being introduced to all the mechanics as they entered the building for the meeting and I just lent over and told him that he didn’t know me and if he did anything to ruin my current position I’d flush him down the toilets when I got my first chance and I would generally make his life miserable. Anyway things started out fairly well until he put up a CRO trace of an injector opening and it went from +12 VDC to -12 VDC and someone asked how a nominally 12 VDC system could produce a 24 VDC swing which was such an easy question to answer that Phil couldn’t explain what was happening and then did the unthinkable and asked me. As I was then sitting directly between the owner and workshop manager I got a hard time during the rest of the meeting and during the return trip as they where constantly asking me why I was being asked to answer questions that I had no right to know anything at all about. After that the help dried up and anything that went wrong I was instantly expected to know the answer to even though I’d never actually seen these systems previously and while I knew the basics I didn’t know the exact systems. I also failed to flush the guy down the local sewerage system when we had a break as the upper sales staff rescued him from my form of punishment but at least he did get very wet. 😀

          That was the best job I’ve ever had as I had no responsibility and wasn’t expected to know anything and that was all blown out the window overnight by something so simple as Back EMF I actually thought that I had taught Phil much better than that but apparently he was sleeping when I was teaching him or even worse had slipped into lazy ways after I left, but I did get a constant stream of schematics for all the cars out of him which was something that was not supposed to be sent to the dealers so at least I could answer most of the questions. But I went from being a nobody to the resident Electronics “Expert” overnight and could no longer be allowed to drive the Police cars fast as I was way to valuable and I couldn’t do the mundane work either so I was stuck in the Auto Electrics side of the shop something that I had moved there to escape as instead of replacing broken circuit boards I was expected to be able to repair them and save a lot of money in the process. Then a couple of apprentices tried to kill me with a semi gearbox and that as they say was the end of that job. But I had to laugh when the meat-waggon was loading me up to take me to the local meat-works the owner was constantly at my side asking what I was doing under the truck and what could he do for me. Well the answer to both questions where simple the apprentices had asked for help as I was walking past and secondly he could bring the apprentice over hold him down while I belted the living daylight out of him for not following my instructions the last didn’t happen so I never got to beat up on the apprentice for trying his best to kill me. 🙁

          So I never saw any handcuffs and I never saw the insides of the local jail but I did have the keys for them they came with the car keys and weighted about 100 pounds which destroyed with alarming regularity the ignition switches of the cars. Being such a small country town the police never bothered to remove their equipment from the cars when they where brought in for repair so when I was stopped by the Highway Patrol for driving a Marked Police Car I did find a couple of service pistols in the glove box and God only knows what was in the boot as I never bothered looking. But the worst thing about that particular Highway Patrol orifice is he was a complete A##hole he picked on me for driving a marked Police Car when I was wearing Ford Overalls {and insisting to know if I was the registered owner of the car when I laughed he got really mad as I wasn’t taking him seriously as if it was possible} and then about a week latter had his car towed in at 4.30 PM Friday afternoon after hitting a roo and demanded that it be fixed immediately. At first we just laughed at him but when he insisted that if it wasn’t fixed he would be staying there until it was and that meant the weekend we pulled out all stops and got it drivable again so he could get the wreck back to his home base and was he happy no all he could do was complain that there was no air con when we handed him the car back so he would get hot driving it back at night. By that stage we had cut the front part of the bonnet away so we could at least get it to part way close and then bolted it shut after fitting a new radiator and headlights that even pointed in the right direction and he wanted air con as well! It didn’t matter that we had worked back till well after 8.00 PM to get the car to that stage and it was safe to drive but as I pointed out it was now dark and he did have the heater which is what he needed so he finally accepted the car and drove it away. After that incident I never dealt with him again as being the sweet unflappable person that I am I would have tried shoving him up the exhaust pipe to check the muffler for leaks. 😀

          Col ]:)

          But I’ve also been to every Jail in Queensland and Northern NSW as well even the womens prisons and youth offenders institutions. Makes you think twice about me doesn’t it? :p

          Note [b]remember to turn off the bold when you start it you DIC##EAD. [/b]

    • #3130507

      Ho hum!!! Let me guess. You’re a touchy-feely type. Oh joy!!! Like I care??

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      You’re under the mistaken impression that someone here actually cares. If you’re serious about participating, get on with it but skip all the nauseating, wishy-washy, touchy-feely bullsh|t; makes me want to hurl.

      [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

    • #3131659

      Where you from?

      by montgomery gator ·

      In reply to Let me introduce myself…

      Like I asked andy@… #2, need to know where you are from so we know whether to call you a pommie, seppo, canuck, or aussie. 🙂

      • #3131520


        by kevin dubya ·

        In reply to Where you from?


        Like many TR characters I can legitimately lay claim to Scottish, Irish and Welsh ancestry, so that makes me – “English”.

        Currently living in UK – working in London and the South East…
        However, I would not describle myself as particularily “English” in terms of perspective, and culturally I would align myself to a more European identity.

        I have travelled across the world and have lived abroad in Europe and North America – hey that’s politically correct as I discovered Canada is in fact not in America ;0)
        (cheap points but had to sorry!)

        K dubya..

        • #3132102

          So, you’re a pommie?

          by montgomery gator ·

          In reply to Heritage…

          Just curious, since we got people from all over. I would be known as a “seppo”, from the Deep South of the USA. Lived in London for 6 months, near the Barbican, Oct. 1990 – April 1991. When I lived there, most people at that time definitely did not think of themselves as “European”. 🙂

        • #3132081


          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to So, you’re a pommie?

          – some of us still don’t think of us being “European”….

          British and Proud of it.

          Geordie British and even Prouder of that!

          (with Scottish heritage, so really I’m a right wierd mix!)



        • #3132038

          My English Grandfather

          by montgomery gator ·

          In reply to Tom

          My father’s father, born and raised in Hucknall, Nottinghamshire, used to say that “God is an Englishman.”, so I understand where you (and most British) are coming from. I don’t have any Geordie in me (as far as I know). Closest would be a great-grandmother on my mother’s side from Sheffield, Yorkshire.

          Got Scottish, too, but have to go back to about 1750, when Scots on my Mother’s side settled in South Carolina.

          I can understand why you don’t want to be associated with the Frogs, Krauts, etc. on the Continent. 🙂

          And as far as the incident in 1775-1783, I had ancestors on both sides of that war, including one who himself fought on both sides, first as a Loyalist, then with the US Continental army.

        • #3132364

          In that case GG

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Tom

          I can’t wait for the photos in your new uniform. When can we expect to see them? 🙂

          Col ]:)

        • #3132074

          Too true..

          by kevin dubya ·

          In reply to So, you’re a pommie?


          You’re right – and its a problem. The British (or at least the English) have always had a somewhat insular, arrogant and superior view of themselves and the world.
          Granted “we” invented stuff, discovered things, designed and solved problems – but this doesn’t mean your “likely cockney geezer in Landan” is all that if you know what I mean – end result we hate the French, Germans -in fact why stop there – all of Europe and we shipped our criminals to Australia a while ago and as for our cousins across the pond – well things got a bit nasty regarding a mess up with some Tea in, I beleive , a place called Boston…

          Now apart from that (in terms of a historical and cultural frame of reference) many Brits are quite tolerant…

          Umm you were saying…
          I, personally like to have a more global view….

        • #3132357

          Well how is this for a laugh

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Too true..

          A mate of mine who is now retired but was a highly qualified Doctor working with children in the UK recently returned to AU to see his family.

          Now he is an Aussie by birth has Aussie Citizenship and when he got here he was refused entry as he was arrested for protesting against the war in Vietnam in the 60’s. He had to get his nephew to sign him in and claim that he is “Of Good Character.” 😀

          He’s just gone to New Zealand for a bit of a holiday and will be returning in a couple of weeks and I’m wondering if he’ll be allowed back in again.

          Incidentally the Poms where still transporting the undesirables to AU in 1985 as the company that I was working for had a Pom moved out here to run the show after the parent company did some reorganisation and they wanted him moved from the UK to AU to get him as far away as possible to keep him quite. He was a complete [b]”No Hopper!”[/b] Who drove all the existing staff away he eventually managed to ruin the company which at the time was at the top of the field and now no longer exists here in any form. He started off by insisting that instead of flying around we drive so I handed him my company car keys and some maps pointed in the general direction of Townsville and said I’ll see you there. Naturally he didn’t pick up on this offer but he did attempt to drive a car from Brisbane to Sydney he left early in the morning and only got to Tenterfield that night a little under half way and then allowed his son to drive the car around that night where it was written off so he flew back to Sydney. Needless to say the idea of driving everywhere was dropped after that incident and he insisted that we fly everywhere that we needed to go which in itself was a good idea until you needed to drive somewhere with a heap of items. There where just some places where it was faster to drive to and we were not allowed to do this so for the next 6 months I was sitting around for a couple of days at different regional places waiting for a aircraft to become available to fly me out of the place as these places only have at best 2 services a week.

          The Mad Pommie Barsteward thought that he knew best and that we plebes who lived and worked here didn’t have an idea of how to do things. He was the worst person I’ve ever worked for and what made it worse is that the QLD Sales Manager insisted that I stay on when I attempted to resign as he beat me to it by about 1 minute. He seemed to think that all the senior staff leaving at once was not good for the company. 😉

          Now if we where really the criminals that we are made out to be we would have killed him off and no one would have made a single complaint. Actually come to think of it we would also demand the actual Ashes instead of an imitation that was handed to us all those years ago. :^O

          Col ]:)

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