Lighthearted fun (fantastic utter nonsense)

deny deny deny. don't write anything down, no pictures and no video.

It will never stand up in court, and no jury in the land would convict!

ViVa La Revolution! :p

must turn in your "guy card"..... ;\

by techexec2 Sep 16, 2006

O ye of little faith. He who laughs last laughs best. This is not over yet.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Advice to Michael Corleone from his father.

by user.booted Sep 16, 2006

GIVE ME THE BEER!!!!

.

gotta be 21 here in the great state of Michigan to get a beer! Guess I am going to have to take that as evidence! ;\

by local support Sep 18, 2006

AS for beverages, I prefer milk. Milk is food and beverage at the same time. Milk gives you strong legs, so that you can jump. Milk is appropriate to serve with all kinds of food.

Another favorite is 'ice on the rocks'.

\Local Support

by maecuff Sep 16, 2006

I absolutely adore you!

Yes..suffering and humiliation could be quite amusing (JD's, of course).

I don't think I'm younger than you, though. I think we're about the same age, which makes you incredibly young and hot.

by tig2 Sep 16, 2006

You've seen the pictures. I am VERY hot. Ask my partner. He will tell anyone that I am a MILF (ask me via peer and I will tell you what it means!)

JD? Well JD must pay. Of couse, the men that help us out on this should be shown additional grace, I think. Not that they should EVER get away with calling us OLD. Hmmm. No one should ever call us old. EVER. That should be a major offense. GG would agree, I think.

Hmmm. Pondering...

Nope. I have re-thought and I was right the first time. JD must pay. Suffering and humiliation. And other things as they are suggested.

When we decide who has the best of the suggestions, I will award a rubber duckie to the winner. I have pink rubber duckies with awareness ribbons. Very cute. Almost as good as a coffee cup. Highly prized too.

Let the flogging begin!!! :)

First, Mae should know MILF as it came up in the divorce discussion.

Second, "old" is a relative thing. Compaired to many things (like dirt) we clearly see that the old simply does not fit.

And as I have been raised to be respectful of my elders, I sincerely repent my previous transgressions. And no matter how funny it was at the time (and still is) my actions were out of line and I throw myself on the mercy of the court.

B-)

:x

by gadgetgirl Sep 17, 2006

Tig, I hate to say this, but I think I have the upper hand on both you and Mae when it comes to age.... I already know I'm older than Mae....

But, as Ma says, age is a state of mind. Her mind thinks she's 24, it's just her body doesn't concur.

Besides, you're only as old as the man that you're feeling....

shoot.

that went all wrong....

Me shut up now. Wide mouth frog sydrome. Absorbed feet....

Now. I reckon with jd and his liking for show tunes...

that we should:

dress him in drag, complete with basque, stockings, stilletos and waist cincher

and then

send him off for some dance lessons - so he can dance properly to his show tunes....!!! :D :p

just had one of those instant visions again - priceless!

oh, and don't forget the wig.... he is follicly challanged, after all!!

GG

by hal 9000 Sep 17, 2006

May I suggest turning down the thermostat on the AC so things get cooler? :p

Nothing worse than a sweaty female unless she's all sweaty and begging for mercy because of something that you have done to her. :D

Col [i]Dam it where is that Angelic Emotion?[/i]

.

.

by jdclyde Sep 17, 2006

I wasn't really worried about the age, I just wanted that BEER! :D

.

.

.

by jdclyde Sep 17, 2006

Male cat, "Mr. Hyde".

state of pants, that was when I was repainting the inside of the house after "she" left. Sorry, nothing interesting there....

And did you just say Tig was whining? :0 wow!

Oh well Fabersham, ten-four and all that rubbish.

.

by deadly ernest Sep 17, 2006

just tie to a spit and lightly baste, then turn while continuing to baste.

.

by Member 25348569 Sep 17, 2006

JD is not bald
Follicularly challenged
Is the PC way

Iron filings and
The spreading of glue will make
J.D. magnetic

OK? Now you're on your own.

:p

Edited because everyone else seems to do it. How was it for me? Nope, don't see the attraction.

by nicknielsen Sep 17, 2006

is, like haggis, an acquired taste. :D

by maecuff Sep 17, 2006

after such a NICE apology on my part too! :(

:D

:x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vNk_j3Z18A

I especially liked the 'older than dirt' part. Even my HUSBAND said you got me good there. I just can't have that. You understand, right? There is too much at stake here...

by maecuff Sep 17, 2006

This really doesn't have anything to do with this thread, But I had to post it SOMEWHERE.

I found something that might interest you. You know, a little help on the whole 'dating' front.

by hal 9000 Sep 17, 2006

You know that JD is working on a Virtual Reality computer simulation so I would suggest that you help him complete this project hold his hand all through the beta testing and encourage him all the way till every possible bug is ironed out of the system. [b]AND THEN[/b]

Once everything is perfect apply for an Intervention order against him for IP theft while at the same time wipe his HDD and all his backup's and remove the possibility of ever having any electricity ever again supplied to that dwelling. The total destruction of the computer and all the equipment wouldn't go astray either so you can sit back comfortable in the knowledge that you have [b]Totally Destroyed[/b] all of his work and there is [b]No Chance[/b] of it being rebuilt.

[b][i]That would make most females extremely happy wouldn't it?[/b][/i] :D

[b]Or you could develop a [i]Female AI[/i] with all the disadvantages that go along with being female and give it to JD as a present. Of course once installed it would prove impossible to remove as it would get into the house wiring and everything else. [/b] :p

Col ]:)

by tig2 Sep 17, 2006

And perfect for getting JD's interpersonal relationship issues to a resolution! Just the thing, I think.

JD, you realise that you will need to sign up immediately and let the service do teh work for you. It will be difficult for you to give up your control issues and witty remarks, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for results.

Unless of course you WANT us to post that screenshot I have at the worst possible moment. I can do that too.

I especially like the 'World of Warcraft' reference. Fits, doesn't it? :)

The finally have a "dating" service for me where the "date" doesn't end with handing $200 over and a taxi ride. :p

I knew someone as worldly and wise would have the answer! All the years of accumulated knowledge has really paid off! :D

:x

You are digging your own hole.

JD- Give it up. The ladies win. Why don't you get it???

by hal 9000 Sep 17, 2006

What are you doing here after I gave you the destructions for [b]Supercharging[/b] a Vibrator? :)

Did you worry about damaging your nail polish with a soldering iron so gave up on the entire idea? :^0

All that is really required is a bridge rectifier to convert AC to DC and then some form of Amperage Limitation so you don't burn out the device. This may take a bit of experimentation but I would suggest that you start off with a 500 Milli amp supply and work up till you get a satisfactory result. :p

Col [i] Insert Angelic Emotion here[/i]

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.................. power cut .............

GG

by hal 9000 Sep 18, 2006

With a Windows Virus. [b]BAD BAD BAD Gadget.[/b] :^0

Of course you know that it's going to take forever to get the Power up & running again now don't you? :p

Col

by nicknielsen Sep 17, 2006

http://tinyurl.com/jhkhu

by deadly ernest Sep 17, 2006

Sign him up to be one of the road side assistants in outdoors fund raiser runs, work as a marshall or stop assistant - doesn't matter what, just so lomg as he's outdoors in the public eye. On the day have him turn up dressed in leather liederhosen, shoes socks, and a nice thick black leather dog collar with large studs. The lead on the collar is held by a female (preferably young girl, say 16) and he has to obey her every command for the day. Thus we have slave JD to a teenage dominitrix appear in public.

by Member 25348569 Sep 17, 2006

I think that you fantasised that in a bit [b]too[/b] much detail. You've thought about this scenario before, haven't you? :0

:^0

that has no detail worth speaking of. Now if I was REALLY fantasisiing, it would have greatd etail, eg the colour of the shoes and clothes, wrinkles, some nice whip marks on the slave, a bit of drool, plenty of vocal "Yes, mistress." and the like. Also the Mistress would be described in great detail as to shape, clothing, colours and fit (like it's painted on). See what you've done, you got started on the detail. Hey hows that for a ehad turner, the Mistress could be painted in spray on black body paint. Now that's hot.

by techexec2 Sep 17, 2006

Is this part of the plot of the book being written by a new writer we both know? :-)

I may be a nice guy, but I do have a real EVIL imagination and am good at thinking up punishments.

Speaking of books, make me rich go buy some of mine from dpdotcom.com - got two good short stories on sale at the moment, and hope to have some novels up soon. And yes I will be doing some other genre under a pen name through another publisher when i can find one who handles that genre.

you MUST have typed those words before, Ernest!

Just sorta rolled off your keyboard, huh?!

Brill idea though - wonder if we could get him to fall for it.....

GG

Several months ago I bought a new keyboard, the keys are smaller than my fingers, so I made a lot of typos, I got so fed up of editing, that I watch the keyboard more closely and leave it as it comes out, as long as the message gets across. the last edit I did was to a post where the typo gave the whole message a different meaning. Look closely at the original post of mine and you'll see at least one typo.

when he has had these re-occuring fantisies, it was actually himself in the slave bit and he is just lending the use of his fantisy for the sake of this discussion?

I would be nervious if he is really IS fantasizing about ME and a 16 year old girl in paint on cloths. :0

For the sake of argurement, couldn't we make her 19? we wouldn't want to people here to think I am obsesseed with young women, so an older, more mature 19 year old in painted on cloths would fit the bill much better! ]:) ;\ :p

Now, Col, you know we've been there, done that, did the thread......

and got total ignorment from TR PTB!

Had I kept that one going, it could have made a list taller than me!

Love your "new" location, btw.

CYA, by any chance??!! ;)

GG

by hal 9000 Sep 18, 2006

As I'm [b]Constantly Confused[/b] and nothing more than a [b]Mere Male[/b] I'm sorry but I don't understand that one. :D

After all I'm flat out trying to understand how Windows Works you don't need to make it harder than it actually is do you? :p

Col ]:)

NO ONE understands how Windows works.

DOES Windows work??? :D

You're supposed to be helping us with JD, not trying to figure out an obscure operating system! But I understand that you are a constantly confused mere male. I am more than willing to help here...

Simply click YES to everything that pops up... :D You'll be fine... no, really...

When used with MicroSoft Windows, these two terms must be meant figuratively?

you really can't.....

you don't .....

really, you can't .......

you don't ACTUALLY....

19?

Mature?

Wha'???

Oh well.

Bombed out again.

:_|

[b] Ageist! [/b]

GG

]:)

you really can
you do
really you can
you do actually
19!
Mature!
Wha!
oh yeah..
bombed again
]:)[b]
Against!
:D

both of my girls are already too old for you. 19?? ugh.

My son is 19. Stay away from him.

Mae, that's one of your very best!

GG

Mae, you DO understand that JD has a "thing" about show tunes???

I think that GG's solution is a good one- just dress him up and send him off to learn to dance. Would be fun to see...

I think your son is safe from JD... He seems to have an attraction to DMambo tho... not sure about this.... attraction is definitely there but... WHY???

Edited because it is Monday

me on a dance floor is not a pretty thing!

Tapping my foot while I snap my fingers is enough of a challenge when I am sitting down! :p

Unless we are talking slam-dancing! But you can't do that to show-tunes! Trust me, it just doesn't work! ;\

stayed with the 16 year old that was originally offered up? :0

I think that is illegal to even THINK of in Michigan. :p It isn't like in KY where you are allowed to marry your attractive cousins! ;\

:D

The hole is already deep enough to hide your body!!! You are just so dead, JD. Mae will have you for lunch!

Show tunes. That is where you must focus. "I'm Singing in The Rain, just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling... I 'm HAPPY again!"

I learned that from JD...

Just because I'm from KY doesn't mean that ANY of my husbands were from my own gene pool...

Windows works is an oxymoron.

Like "Army Intelegence". The words just don't "go" together. :)

"Windows works" Sheesh!

Edited because I can

JD, I gotta tell you...

RUN!

My partner agrees with Mae's husband. Your life is no longer worth living.

You have skated on thin ice. It has broken beneath you.

GG!!! Join us as we squish him!

I'll hold him, you hit him.....

you'll hit harder than me. And I know how to keep him down, once he's there (DE!)

]:)

GG

Now how did THAT get in there? :0 Must have been another one of the famous bugs that TR has been trying to fix! :p

[i]
(I find myself liking "HUSBAND and "PARTNER" more and more all the time!) :D

:x

You [b] [u] [i] LIKE [/b] [/u] [/i] Mae's husband and Tigs' Partner??

GIRLS!

[b]CONFESSION OVER HERE**** [/B]

]:)

GG

Lets change places.

You hold him.

I'll hit him.

With his bloomin' griddle.....

]:)

GG

I'm bigger than he is.

I'll hold him, you get Mae's shovel...

This will be FUN!

am dumb enough to joke about SIZE with a woman! :0

For both my partner and Mae's husband...

NO THANKS!!!

"Not that there is anything WRONG with that"

Hmmmm....

Edited because...

by shellbot Sep 18, 2006

feel sorry for JD..but then on second thought..nope i don't..

Mae.."stay away form my son"=brilliant :)

the haiku's were good Neil, but now i have a very disturbing image in my head of JD covered in nothing but metal filings.. :(

i'll leave you girls at it, as i'm wrecked and heading for home..

save me a small peice of him will ya? ]:)

it really depends which [b] [i] "small piece" [/b] [/i] you want........

]:)

GG

I have been assured over the years that SIZE doesn't matter! :p

We could just snuggle I guess..... :0

:x

by shellbot Sep 19, 2006

at this stage its been so long i'd take any peice.. ]:)

I DID give up and threw myself on the mercy of the court!

I DID concede on all points, don't you remember? :D [i]I know, it WAS a few posts ago, but not THAT many ago! :p

by ontheropes Sep 18, 2006

.

I can see how "busted" up you are over the whole thing. Can I help it they couldn't remember back a few posts to the apology? :0 (damn, did I just say that again?)

Lucky for me it is only the good that die young! :D

That isn't a show-tune, is it?

If your happy and you know it, run away.
If your happy and you know it, run away.
If your happy and you know it, and you have someone chasing you with a shovel,
If your happy and you know it, run away.

:D

besides..your species gets way to upset when it comes to 'size' jokes. That great big ego..held in a little, itty bitty..well..you know. :)

by techexec2 Sep 18, 2006

I won't joke about SIZE with a woman either! Those jokes always fall FLAT! In musical terms it would be A-flat or B-flat! :^0 :^0 :^0

by nicknielsen Sep 18, 2006

Looks more like "Mac the Knife" from where I am... ]:)

Size matters. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

There. I said it. I stand by it.

Ladies- agree? Disagree?

But we SAY it doesn't..

Although, I have to say, size issues can go either way..

Size DOES matter. I'm pretty big, JD is pretty small. I can squish him.

And for "other" matters?

Well, I am pretty big.

And JD is pretty...

You get it.

by shellbot Sep 19, 2006

it does matter..we just too nice to say that to guys :)

but yer right Mae..both ways..a few years ago this guy pulled his out once to prove he wasn't bragging..i dang near passed out..needless to say, i wasn't interested..ouch

by mickster269 Sep 18, 2006

Make all of his workstations run WindowsME , and his servers run NT 4.0.

(I won't go into scratching all his Liza Minelli CD's - that would be too cruel.)

and scratch up the Liza Minelli CDs. He'll still have Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland and Cher to keep him company.

as long as they are just married into the family, all is well? :p

Talk about circular relatives.

My brothers mother-in-law (dead) is the SISTER of my ex-father-in-laws brothers wife. Found that out at her funeral.

Really was strange to hear people stand up and say what a caring person she was. Too bad I never met that person. The side of her MOST people saw was a hateful old thing. One of the self-rightious, look-down-your-nose Catholic woman that give Christians a bad name. She was the type of person that when they die they wonder why they are the only ones there. She made the world a better place by leaving it.

by techexec2 Sep 18, 2006

I had to draw a diagram just to understand the relationship you just described. Wow!

by ontheropes Sep 18, 2006

.

by nicknielsen Sep 18, 2006

I understood it without the diagram. But then I've been in the South for the 17 of the last 20 years, plus I grew up a Yankee farm boy. :D

Only difference is the accent. B-)

by ontheropes Sep 18, 2006

.