IT Employment

Ask something
Discussion Locked

Lookin for idiots - Deuce

0 helpful
35 replies

by lordinfidel

Closed to new repliesThis discussion is closed. It stays readable, but it takes no new replies.

It's that time of the year again. (not really, i'm just bored as hell, so it's whenever the hell I say it is)

I'm quite sure most companies by now have rotated thru one set of idiots (aka users) and have replaced them with another set. The result being a round of user idiocracies. (if it's not a word, then I don't care, it should be).

So my pet peeve,,,, Why won't people leave me alone. Don't they see that I really don't care about their computer problems.

So I'm at a bbq place, wearing one of my infamous t-shirts; (No I will not fix your computer). And as I sit down with my big ol' linux firewall book, a guy comes up and asks me if I know anything about computers.

Ok,,,, A) I'm wearing a damn t-shirt that says No I will not fix your computer and B) I'm reading an advanced book on firewalling. Those should be 2 Really big giveaways.

In any event, he totally disregards my message on my shirt and proceeds to ask me questions about his "problem" with some obscure program that he paid like $5 for.

So after giving him a piece of bogus information, I gave him my card, said if it did'nt work give me a call, for 120/hr i'd be more than happy to go over his house to fix his problem.

He get's full price for bothering me during lunch.
And I wonder why he never called.

So like last time... If anyone else has some story or BS to share about how users bother them. Now is your chance.

35 replies

by tbragsda

Over many years in this industry, I have developed what one user called "a unapproachable attitude". When this person told me this, I felt bad. More I thought about it, it was something I had done that has allowed me to escape these gnats and actually get what I want done with my time. This goes for families members too. Sorry mom, cough up the dollars, and Ill see what's up with the attached email pictures.

Some call me a curmudgeon, IM ONLY 32. I just telling you to f***k off with that question about blah.

Same goes for jr. techs. Get a book, TAKE SOME NOTES. Don't come talk to me without a piece of paper and a pen (I got a hole thing about this, but... well...)

What type of pens do you keep? Sharpies for me. Can wrighton anything. Double point ones, fat one side, and fine the other. Great stuff.

Just kidding mom, Ill call you this weekend, and see what we can do.

by tbragsda

User was leaving for a vacation. Setup a rule to reply to ALL with msg "out of office" etc. Activated the rule, send out a email to a external client AFTER activating the rule. Problem was, external client had similar rule setup. Played serveremail ping pong for a couple days, till I started noticing some funky (LARGE) logs.

by lordinfidel

I have been told on several occasions that I should try to be nicer.

As a show of good faith, I promptly deleted that users account.

My users call me satan, the darkone, overlord and my favorite net god.

As far as a paper and pen, my handwriting really sucks. It does me no good to even attempt to print anything that someone else would ever need to read, much less myself. I would try but I lost my decoder ring.

I prefer having a stand offish attitude. It makes users and execs thinktwice before asking us to do something. I guess I look at it from a dilbert point of view, look busy, frazzled, like your at the point of no return from having a mental breakdown, and they will leave you alone.

by tbragsda

Yea. Ill post some scanned images, and we can compair. Point is that I hate it when some jr. jerk comes talking to me, asking questions, and cant even be troubled to take a f***ing note.

I had a boss (one of the first) that made me come to his office every morining. First question "do you have a pen?" with a snide attitude. Now I sound just like him. We age too quickley in this biz.

Now, as for attitude. I love the exec. They are the guys you have to get to like. They sign off on the big projects, and the stuff you REALLY want to do. Convince them that it is worth their time/money, you got the equipment to play. Its the users you want to keep at bay.

I have allwas said, "my network works best with out the users on it." Its the truth. If I could just build the dam thing, without the hassle of people allwas trying to DO SOMTHING on it...

by fluxit

I became a technology guy to leverage technology and develop fascinating information projects. I did not get into technology to be desktop support or take on other peoples job.

Yet many people feel just because I have knowledge about these systems it is incumbent upon me to help them. Does a fireman respond to help those who cannot start a fire in thier fireplace or grill? He certainly has knowledge about fires.

Desktop computing technology has been around for 20 years and wide spread forabout 10 years. Yet there are people who have never touched a computer.

It frustrates me to no end that people are incapable of learning without someone 'telling' them how to do it. Example:

A brief was being prepared that drew on voluminous data over many months. 4 graphs were needed with notes. Because the responsible person did not maintain any data and did not know how to use MS office products the Graphs were pushed off to another guy. While he was reviewing it he determined it was too much work and he did not know how to use MS office products. It was pushed on to me. I rejected it but my boss said I was the only one who could do it. With tremendous disdain I went to work.

I had to reconstruct nearly a year's worth of data and build the graphs. I choose Excel and went to work. 18hrs later I completed the Graphs.

During the 18hrs I worked on the project, I was constantly hounded for results, the responsible guy took a 2 hr lunch, and I noted his skylarking.

Not once was I thanked for my efforts as it was expected since I knew the software.

This is one example of many where because I am a technology guy I took on other peoples job.

Coincidentally, I naver took a course in using MS office products.

In the meantime,

by fluxit

people developing software and systems must strive to cover all critical points before deploying anything project.

All too often others do not debug thier work and clean it up. That causes many issues as well.

by fluxit

Users are ok in my book. When they use the technology responsibly.

However, when they cause problems because they failed to organize their data, acquire requisite knowledge to do thier job, or add in a nice to have software packages that cause issues the user becomes and ab-user.

by rrgilmore_2001

Hey it is all great to sind an igy off with bunk info, but hell what the F**k is your trip dude?? I will tell you if it wasn't for the idiot's as you call them I would be very borded. A playing with my servers. B playing with the firewall. C trying to hack corpate and getting caught.D Playing with myself. I don't know about you but I like talkinig with my end users.

The only thing I agree with you with is when ,someone takes my free time away or trys to.

by apache5056

If it wasn't for the so-called I.D.10T's and the PEBCAKs, most of us wouldn't be here. I understand about the off-time buggings but in my shop, having additudes like this, well, those additudes would be looking in the classifieds.....

Cheer up and look at your end users and exes as job secruity.

by lordinfidel

Obviously if you are a help desk dreg, then you really can't sport this sort of attitude against users.

*Notice my use of users, it's not end users, it's users in general. Basically anyone that touches a pc that can not bend the will of the machine is a user. This includes help desk/support people.
(I know that I just alienated a bunch of you, but I also was a help desk dreg at one point, lucky for me though I saw the error of my ways and quickly moved up)

But I digress... Getting backon track; while the claim can be made that users give us job security, blah blah blah. That is not entirely true.

Users give help desk job security.

Network Engineers, Sys Admins, Security Engineers and Architects will always have jobs. Regardless of whether or not the company has a help desk. Networks need us.

You can get rid of the support personnel, but you can't get rid of the guy's/girls who take care of your core network systems. You can replace them with consultants, fine i'll give you that. But you still need someone to design, operate and fix them.

That is where guy's like me come in.

Make no mistake, if your a help desk phone call taker, you need to be nice.

If you are the Netwk Op's Admin (me), and some sap is bothering you because he thinks he needs more memory and wants you to stop what you are doing and take care of it this very instant, well then you can sport this attitude with pride.

by lordinfidel

There is no trip, no bunk message.

This is how I truly am.

I despise users. I hate the fact that I have to let them use bandwidth. I'm not kidding.

I hate pointless dribble. If you are unable to speak to me with any sort of inteligible thoughts, then I don't want to hear your voice.

Maybe you are lucky enough to have worked on networks where all of your users are flippin genuises and don't have to ask you the most mundane of questions.

But for those of us in the real world of corporate computing, the questions born of idiocratic apathy for computing plauges us.

While yes, some of the users are my friends, I can speak to them of subjects "other" than computing. But when it comes to touching their keyboard and mouse, all sense of reasoning leaves their mind.

Kind of like how us men get when in a strip club. We become idiots for some reason.

As far as being bored. Users bore me, plain and simple. Systems make me happy. I actually prefer replying to your misguided hate for me then answering a users question about why the net is slow today.

Suggested reading.... BOFH
http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html

by admin

my systems would run perfectly!

Obviously, "The Matrix" ending was a last minute attempt to get people to buy tickets.

:>

by highlander718

Maybe your car mechanic is thinking the same about you. Or the guy fixing your AC. Or your doctor. Or any guy that knows other things that you don't.
Got it ?

by apache5056

That BOFH is some of the funnest reading I have seen in quit a while....

I wouldn't want to be on his 'Users to Kill list'.

by steve_kirkham

Whoa there, take it easy. We all accept that without the users we would be out of this particular job, but, there are some people out there who are just fools that can't or won't think for themsleves.

I think I have a pretty good reliationship with most of my users, but there are one or two that really needle me, like the idiot that tried to plug a network card into a phone socket then couldn't or wouldn't belive that it wouldn't work.

Or the other one who thinks that everything revolvesaround them, and just refuses to take any notice of whatever they are told. This is the same idiot that who won't belive that me taking the server off-line will affect him/her, and gets really uptight when it does.

Please don't try and tell us that all your users are perfect, and that nobody gets up your nose. Sorry, but I just won't belive it.

Now take a deep breath, calm down, and read these posts in the way in which they are intended.

Steve

by lordinfidel

So I'm in the Software Development managers office talking about somtething really important.

Not sure what, I just know it was a deep meeningful converstaion.

Anyways, this user comes running into the office, all sorts of flush and anxious telling me I have to come now, his computer is broken. Someone hacked into it or he has some sort of virus. In any event, he can't get on-line.

So I go there and check the usual, netwk cable ok, he has an IP address with the correct subnet, etc. But I can't ping out to the gtwy. So now my interest is peaked, it's time for me to make the machine do my bidding.

After about 2-3 minutes of probing, I notice some weird services running. So I promptly ask in a monotone voice, did you install anything.

"No nothing really, ............pause.....'R you sure'.....Well no.....except a firewall.................."

Well there you go.... I promtly gave him a severe lashing, removed the firewall and back he was using my bandwidth.

For wasting my time, The following day he received a brand new shiny OS from me (NT4 locked down so that he can not install any programs)

by lordinfidel

Ok... This is pre-multiple connections into our faciltiy days.

I won't go into the exact specifics of who this person was, but let's just say this person sits in a big office.

So our connection goes down one day and myself and my counterpart are working with our ISP to find out why it is down. We are thinking it might be are DSU, it was still relatively new and has already been replace for failing.

So as we are waiting for our ISP to get back to us. This individual, in their vast knoweldge of network engineering, asks if we have turned it off then back on.

We told him that we have tried that. But this person, being unconvinced at our techincal incompetence, proceeded to reach behind the unit and *Unplug* it.

Needles to say, nothing changed except our attitudes of how someones thought process skips along thru their head.

Well after 12 more hours of being down and a DSU later. (which still did'nt work)

Turns out that our ISP blew an Interface on their router in the POP and since it had multiple people on it, decided that they were not going to change it out until later in the night.

(Incompetence goes both ways I guess)

by tbragsda

Look. Simple. Servers running great. Users start getting in its face with "give me this file, delete that file. NONO I want that file back!!! Stupid servers." Its no wonder they rebel a bit. Without the users, everything would be humming a nice powersupply tune.

by lordinfidel

Don't care what anyone says... I will be there... I still love the Matrix, even if it's special effects have been overdone in every movie since.

I am more curious about the story (odd yes i know)

by admin

it would have been more difficult to write the sequel too... hadn't thought of that.... Still, when relating it to a standard day at the office I still think the analogy for me is that the humans are the real virus :)

by lordinfidel

But at least I have enough sense to know what my limitations are.

There is a difference.

I am intelligent to know that If I have a cold with general symtoms that I just need some vitamins, rest and general cold medicine.

If I'm coughing up blood and vommiting, I need to go to the doctor. And once I get there I am still intelligent enough to give him/her enough information so that they can properly care for me.

Not "there is something wrong with my computer, fix it". Mechanincs *Are* the same way. I know that nothing pisses them off more then when someone says, "I have a rattling and my car doesn't seem to run right, what's wrong with it".

And they have every right to be pissy.

So no, this is not just limited to thoseof us living in GeekDom.

When was the last time you took your car in and gave a general non-descript description of the problem?

by mr. michael

I now feel so much better about my users, at least most of them. Oop's correction the phone just rang, time to go play God and extract a little revenge for not playing by my rules.

by pclover

You should continue this attitude while you can and enjoy it - because it won't last forever. Rememebr one thing -- customer service is everyone's job. Whether your 1st level or 5th level support, customer service is everyones job. Now, I'm not saying that you have to fix every minor problem -- that's probably not your place....however, guiding them to the person who's responsible for helping them is your job. Just remember, those that you crap on now will come to crap on you later. Havingthis type of attitude will get you in the end. (BTW, I'm not a front line help desk dreg...I'm in a management position.)

by lordinfidel

I'm not advocating being a complete rude *sshole, totally void of any sort of service.

In order for any business to survive you must have some level of competent customer service.

When I'm called upon to fix a legitimate problem, I do so 1000%percent.

What I am talking about is the classic dumb user scenarios. I know it sounds like bitching, blah blah blah.

But it also serves a purpose. Everywhere I have worked, it has been made extremely clear that when it comes to the network, the engineers/admins know best. This takes conditioning of the users. It also comes from respect. If you are an idiot admin, expect your users to walk over you.

I can't be that bad, because although they call me satan, they also bake me cookies(aka bribes).

So for any newbies out there, do not go around treating people like crap just because you can. But you can bend their will to make them do what you want.

by road-dog

I had a customer site that cooked off the UPS every Thursday for a month, causing the net to be DOA on Friday Morning.

I got called in to do some electrical checks, everything fine. The customer paid for golden time, so I loaded up Tribes in a cubicle after closing time and settled in waiting for the pizza guy to arrive.

After a couple hours of fragging and half of a grease wheel, the LAN dropped. I went to check out the power monitor, and found the janitor unplugging his floor buffer from the UPS. Suffice it to say, I swapped out the UPS for the last time, sent out a couple of emails, and caught the last flight home. The UPS is now in a locked cabinet where it belonged in the first place.

by admin

1. Anything home baked with Chocolate.
2. Gift certificates over 50$ to my personal favorite stores (In my case the local food co-op or the local Indian Restaraunt)
3. Barter for doing my mundane paperwork. (Making Copies, collating, screening my calls etc.)
4. Shoulder massages (OK, maybe I shouldn't accept this at work but DAMN! it feels so good!)
5. Getting permission to skip meetings I don't really want to go to. (We're sorry, but he is working on a big project right now....)

Anyone else get positive user benefits they want to share?

:)

by road-dog

R-12 refrigerant(post Ban)and a welding job on a trailer hitch.

Quality time with the brand new Color Laserjet

Purchase orders passed through accounting on a rocket sled.

Range time with a new stoner assault rifle.

Some of these have come from in house support, others have come from consulting gigs. Suffice it to say, the perks are grand if you're not afraid to deal!

Not to mention... Do you guys want me to get rid of this old cable? (40 cents / lb)

by lordinfidel

When I did my house renovation, I whored myself out with my contractors.

Even some of my ongoing clients I work on a barter basis. It saves me in taxes.

by lordinfidel

Some of mine have included;

1. The ever popular junk food (home baked cookies and cupcakes).

2. Breakfast purchashed (prefer garlic bagel w/ham and swiss)

3. Car washed (they felt bad that I was working 90 hours and my new mustang had not been washed)

4. Cash- (this was a weird one, one of the higher ups [before the days of our virus prot at the mail gateway] unleashed a virus on our network which caused me many many hours of grief. As retribution, and this was not solicited in anyway shape or form, it was of his own free will, gave me a 100 spot)

5. Along the same lines of #4, Gift certificates.

6. Basketball tickets (not a huge fan, but being at the game was cool)

These are just some that stick out in my mind.

by lordinfidel

OK... This is a true story that just happened today.

I get a call from one of my "side jobs" about a computer that I built for them no longer works.

So during my lunch break I jet over there to see what the problem. Well they were correct, the system would not turn on. No post, no error codes, no nothing.

So i figure the processor is out or something is just not seated right. So I open her up, reseat everyhting and try to start her up again.

nothing.

So I look back in side andas I am I notice this tail. There was a live lizard inside the system.

Then I find out that the system was on last night but when they came in this morning it was off.

So sad to say, I figure that the lizard pissed on the MB and fried it.

This is a true story, you can't make s**t like this up. It just happened today.

by cowen80194

I had a system that was out of date and the user / owner wanted to update it (8088) but it stopped working the night before I got there.

Well first thing I noticed off the bat was he was missing expansion slot covers I had a few extras that wouldhave helped the day before.

opened the system and found mouse turds on the board at this point I told him I was not working on it any further but defore I got that out I saw a small dried puddle spot on the processor.

Told him to bag the 8088 no go anyway and either I can build a new 386 or he could buy one.

by admin

out my occasionial user that apparantly stuffs paperclips etc. into the PS fan when it's (well I assume it is anyway) turned off.

:)

by tbragsda

Back in the day, bench tech. Guy brought me the thing, I opened, dropings etc.

I took out the MB, cleaned it with soap and water. Let it dry. Put it back toghter, and it worked. Duct tape over the hole, and guy was out the door.

by rdschaefer

Although I promised myself I wouldn't log on to TR anymore, I just had to respond to this thread!

First of all, when we talk to our mechanic, AC guy, or doctor, we don't pretend to know more then we do (or even they do). We also don't perform surgery on ourselves. We may occasionally fix things but the difference is WE know our limitations.

Second, to all you mgt, HR, and touchy-feely people-don't give us that crap about customer-service! As LordInfidel said, drones 5 or 6 levels down need to worry about customer-service, WE service the hardware/software. WE shouldn't have to deal with people who need to ask stupid questions.

Later on I'll tell you about my Brother-In-Law...

This discussion is closed to new replies.