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Lunatic Fringe

By ProtiusX ·
Ex-lesbian battles former partner over child Parental rights of Vermont civil union enforced in Utah

Posted: December 8, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern
WorldNet Daily
?A woman who gave birth to a child months before entering a same-sex civil union in Vermont is appealing a court ruling that granted parental standing to her former partner.
Cheryl Barlow, who says she no longer is a lesbian, was united with Keri Jones, both residents of Utah, five months after Barlow became pregnant by artificial insemination in 2001.
But the relationship ended in 2003 after Barlow discovered Jones was seeing another woman.
Jones then sued for parental visitation rights to Barlow's child and was granted favor by Judge Timothy Hanson in Utah's 3rd District Court in Salt Lake City after a brief, three-day trial.
Barlow wants the Utah Court of Appeals to overturn the decision.
Her attorney, Frank Mylar, who is allied with the Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund, argues Jones has had no relationship with the now 3-year-old child for over a year and has no legal right to visitation.
"Enforced visitation will only promote confusion and conflict in this child's life and upbringing," he said.
Mylar points out the civil union is not valid in Utah, where the law ensures Jones could never have any legal right to Barlow's child during their relationship.
"We do not believe the court sufficiently evaluated the child's well-being," Mylar said. "The decision to grant Jones visitation with the child defies Barlow's constitutional rights, Utah law and local public policy."
The appeals court will hear the case even though an appellate judge decided Friday not to stay the order of the lower court, forcing the child to spend 10-hour visitations with Jones during the proceedings.
"It is unconstitutional for the court to award parental standing to an unrelated third party over the objections of a fit natural parent who has never been deprived of custody," Mylar contended.
"Granting parental standing to a legal stranger in a non-marital relationship pushes Utah law to where it's never been," he said.?

I can only weep for the child who has been thrust into the middle of this mess. This is an example of the chaos that will be wrought upon this country if we do not stand up for the family which is the core of our country.

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How is this an example??

by maecuff In reply to Lunatic Fringe

Because they are same sex, this will be more difficult for the child?? This kind of sh*t goes on EVERY day with hetero couples and I'm sure, it's just as confusing and painful for those children.

What about all those children who were adopted and then the birth parent decides he/she wants them back? How does that scenario fit in? Or, what about mothers or fathers who just up and abandon their children, or abuse them, or sell them, or whatever. I would think that those children who ARE raised by a gay or lesbian couple, who are nurtured and loved would be much better off and better represent what we, as Americans, should HOPE for in a family.

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Fuzzifying the issue

by JamesRL In reply to Lunatic Fringe

Its not like there aren't custody issues with straight couples. Why would it be different with gay couples. Why would it be any different from step parents, common law marriage partners, grandparents and all the others who petition for visitation.

I'm sure there are also plenty of homosexual couples that make great parents. As well as many "straight" families which have terrible parents. Being a good parent does not have anything to do with one's sexual orientation.


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Disagree of course

by ProtiusX In reply to Fuzzifying the issue

I will not go so far as to say that ones sexual choice makes them a less loving or caring person but I will say that as this lifestyle is a choice it will harm the overall outcome of children raised in a sexually promiscuous deviant home.
I understand that this kind of thing happens with heterosexual couples all the time and that children are often the receivers of a great deal of garbage and this is tragic as well.
There is no correlation between straight and gay couples as there are blurred or confused gender roles in a gay relationship and this confusion is passed down to the child that lives with gay parents. How is a child supposed to identify with a specific gender when there is no role model for that child to emulate or if the role model provided is skewed and distorted?

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I don't know

by maecuff In reply to Disagree of course

How is a child supposed to emulate a role model who doesn't exist? The father or mother dies, the father or mother are raging alcoholics, or they're working all the time and the kid is left with the nanny. These things happen all the time. Families don't have to fall into your cookie cutter idea of what a family is. Give a child a secure and loving home and they will grow to be a functioning, contributing member of society. Put them in a less than conventional home with love and security and they'll be tolerant as well.

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by ProtiusX In reply to I don't know

Let?s look to science (specifically the studies done involving human sexuality) to determine whether a childhood devoid of the traditional male/female role models is detrimental to the child?s development.
By three years of age, many children have begun to develop a sex role identity. Several theories have been utilized in the effort to explain children's sex role development and the father's role, including Freudian psychoanalytic theory, Mischel's social learning theory, Parsons' functional theory, Kohlberg's cognitive developmental theory, and Martin and Halverson's gender schema theory. In regard to sex role development, Freudian psychoanalytic theory, social learning theory, and functional theory emphasize the identification process with the same-sex parent. From the perspective of identification theory, the father's role and the mother's role are equally important; however, they may contribute to sex role development in different ways. Early research on fathering found that masculine fathers tend to have masculine sons (Bandura & Walters, 1959; Mussen, 1961). Lohr and colleagues stated that father absence might have negative effects on the formation of feminine identification among female children, which might result in "(1) intensified separation anxiety; (2) denial and avoidance of feelings associated with loss of father; (3) identification with the lost object; (4) object hunger for males"
Radin (1986), in a review of the literature, concluded that the father's behavior is the primary determinant of sex role development. Santrock (1970) found that father-absent preschool boys were significantly more feminine than father-present boys, but there were no significant differences among girls. Biller (1981) also found that father absence adversely affected the sex role identification and sex typing of male children. Fathering is important for children's sex role development (Biller, 1981; Johnson, 1963; Lamb, 1981, 1987; Santrock, 1977; Snow et al., 1983). Mussen (1969) has suggested that how children perceive their fathers' nurturance was the key factor in the development of sex role identity. Lamb (1981, 1987) and Santrock (1977) said that fathers are the most significant model of masculinity for their sons. It also has been suggested that adequate fathering is necessary for optimal sex role development in daughters (see Stevenson & Black, 198. Langlois and Down (1980) stated that the father's role in the child's development of sex-typed behaviors is more decisive than the mother's role.
So we can deduce from these studies that for a child to have any chance at all of developing a normal sexual identity there must be both a male and a female presence actively taking part in the child?s life.

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by Bob in Calgary In reply to Science

In your reply you state

So we can deduce from these studies that for a child to have any chance at all of developing a normal sexual identity there must be both a male and a female presence actively taking part in the child?s life.

I disagree with this statement, My first wife died from cancer when my youngest girl was only 18 months old, I have raise my three children by myself until I remarried 5 years ago. All three children, the oldest is 22 now, the youngest is 16, are mature stable and normally developed young adults. If your statement were to be true then I would expect to see areas of concern.

There is no instruction book for raising children thousands of different factors are relevant in their developement and to limit it to Hetro vs **** relationships has no validity.

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There not my conclusions Bob

by ProtiusX In reply to Disagree

They are the conclusions of a myriad of researchers that who have closely studied thousands of children in all manor of homes. There are only two absolutes in life and the speed of light has come into debate. These studies suggest that there is a link between proper role models and a healthy sexual identity.

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by Bob in Calgary In reply to There not my conclusions ...

All I am stating is my real life experiences. Not studies done by various different people. I discovered a long time ago that studies can prove anything to anyone based on how they are carried out and interpreted. It is your perogative to take the results of studies to support your view point. All I stated was my personal circumstance which would appear to disprove your deduction.
The only two absolutes in life are you live then you die. What happens in the middle is what makes life interesting.

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Parents aren't the only role models available!

by mlandis In reply to Science


Many of the resources you cite are close to and over 20 years old.

There are many more recent studies that indicate that a strong role model is often found outside the home, and has positive influence as well. Many kids need role models. Think of how many kids who live in a single parent environment do find role models elsewhere.

Do you think these kids would live in a vacuum, and only have the parents as the visible adults, and the larger gay/lesbian community as their only exposure to other adults?

That doesn't happen.


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All crows are not birds

by deepsand In reply to Science

Assuming that a 2 parent family, 1 each of the male & female, is optimal for the development of humans, it does not necessarily follow that a 1 parent family is superior to a 2 parent one where both are of the same sex.

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