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Made an enemy - need advise

By pm_chump ·
My department was reorganized and I have a ?new? boss (1 year now) that I do not get along with. Long story short he is unprofessional (if I ask him a question he will answer me with a belch) and he is down right mean. I have asked his boss for a reassignment but that is not going to happen because of short resource levels. Now I have made an enemy of my boss and he has turned my staff against me by telling them to drop me from the loop. He has also stopped communicating with me to any great degree. I am looking for a new job but for now I have to live with this situation. I have NEVER had trouble getting along with anyone in my long career so I am not sure how to handle this. I feel the need to cover my butt somehow because I have lost touch with what my staff is doing and with what the developers are doing on my project. I have asked my staff for a list of what they are working on, or plan to work on, and when they are planning to start, or complete, their work. What else can I do to let upper management know that I am trying to keep on top of things even though my boss is making it hard to do that?

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Old adage

by stress junkie In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

I think you're SOL. Just leave asap.

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Just go into his office, look him straight in the eyes, and. . . . .

by maxwell edison In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...
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You have a no-win situation

by In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...


You have a no-win situation. You should find another job and get out of there.

I guarantee you that your boss' boss knows all about your boss' behavior and s/he doesn't care for whatever reason. They _always_ know. Wouldn't you know? How could they not know? Going over your boss' head will accomplish nothing. Don't waste your time.

But, while you're still there, there are some things you should do. These will require extra effort from you that you shouldn't have to expend, but you must because of the situation.

You need to do your job. You need to occupy the space that your job should occupy. You've really got nothing to lose. For example:

- If your staff are not providing you with information you request, you should have weekly, daily, whatever face-to-face meetings to get the information you need and should have.

- If any of your staff are insubordinate or uncooperative, you should initiate disciplinary action on them.

Like I said, you have a no-win situation and should get out. But, while you're still there, push back.

Good luck.


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time, health and stress

by Black Panther In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

I have had the same happen, I was in a company for 10 years had 3 different bosses and 1 was nasty ( but somehow I outlasted her ) - she ended up moving on not me.

Your options are:-

Directly confronting him with your issues

Sit back take it and do nothing and look for another job

Speak to HR about your issues or go over his head

All will have some repercussions

"For every action there is equal and opposite reaction."

Every human thought, word and deed is a Cause that sets off a wave of
energy throughout the universe, creating calm and desireable, or stormy
and undesireable Effects.

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If I were you I'd work on my job search

by AV . In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

It sounds like a real unhealthy situation for you. I would give a detailed status report to upper management immediately to show that I had a handle on my project and to prevent any further negative PR from my boss. I would try to limit or circumvent any contact with the boss as much as possible. Email would be my preferred method of contact so I have a record.

Belching as an answer to a question is just unacceptable behavior and very unbecoming if it is the boss. I would secretly record my Q&A sessions with him. If he belches again, the tape goes to HR or upper management. Thats harassment.

You really need to get another job. Try to create as much positive PR about your project as possible. Get your references lined up. Don't quit. Wait for your "severence package" if you have one.

Sometimes you go out in flames. It happens. Try to generate positive PR wherever you can with the right people before that happens.

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document everything

by Absolutely In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

Send emails, or printout memos on company stationery, just be sure to make a trail that shows clearly every attempt you make to obtain the information that your co-workers OWE you, and make clear in each communique what medium they should use to convey the information to you. That way, they cannot wiggle out of a situation with "I told you at the water cooler" and other such nonsense. In short, anticipate their antics and leave them no wiggle room. Maybe you'll even take a couple with you.

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Only one thing to do....

by anykey??? In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

burn that mother to the ground,don't forget to grab your swingline on the way out the door.

The diplomatic approach might work, but my experience with HR has shown me that they only have the company's interest in mind,you know what they say,don't bite the hand that feeds you(that is the official HR motto).
if you can't just pack it in and leave,work your arse off,do everything in your power to complete every project on time,under budget,allow your work to speak for you.

I would document every single communication with this a-hole,**** I'd even make him aware that face to face and phone communication are being recorded,tell him it's so you don't miss any details that could easily be forgotten.I'm positive his attitude will change when the recording starts.
This a-hole knows what he is and he feels untouchable you just need to prove him wrong.

BTW if all else fails,an assault and battery charge might be worth it.

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How is it going?

by Babs_1957 In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

Hi pm_chump,
It has been almost a year now and I was curious. What advice did you end up taking and how are things going? I hope you took the high road.

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How many layers of management are there?

by DMambo In reply to Made an enemy - need advi ...

You've rattled off 4 layers in your post. Do you work for the State of NY? If so, I believe you have some protections. If you've already got your boss PO'ed to the point that your looking for another job and if you're pretty sure that you can't reconcile, then along with the suggestion to document everything, I would advise you to copy your boss' boss on everything.

Got a report due? Copy upper mgt. Project plan moving along? Copy upper mgt. Memo to your reports asking for project status? Copy upper mgt. This technique will keep upper mgt alerted to the fact that you're still doing your job, and it'll let your immediate boss know that he does not have 100% control.

If there's hope that you and the boss can get it back together, then this might not be the best course of action. Best of Luck.

Edit - Holy cow, I just noticed this thread is a year old. Sorry (again)

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