General discussion


Monday Mirth - New Element Discovered

By deepsand ·
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, and are surrounded by a vast cloud of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be easily detected, as its presence impedes any and all reactions. A minute amount of Governmentium will cause a reaction that normally takes less than 1 second to complete, over 4 days to run to completion.

Governmentium has a half-life of 3 years; however, it does not decay, but rather undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Govenmentium's mass generally increases over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, thus forming even heavier isodopes.

This characteristic of "moron promotion" leads some scientists to speculate that Govermentium is naturally formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the Critical Morass.

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -


by BFilmFan In reply to Monday Mirth - New Elemen ...

Not too bad at all

Collapse -

Canadian Morass at criticality

by dafe2 In reply to Monday Mirth - New Elemen ...

Includes more holes, with many wanabe peons lips pressed firmly against them.

Collapse -

More Canada bashing?

by deepsand In reply to Canadian Morass at critic ...

I'm not clear on what it is you're saying.

Kindly elaborate.

Collapse -


by dafe2 In reply to More Canada bashing?

Just an off the cuff comment...(Not nearly as CREATIVE as yours ;-).......nice job.

Canadian Parliment is made up of A-Holes with crapload of Lobbyist stuck to their asses................

Now that I think about it: At least the States, during the Clinton years, at least he moved the females to the 'front' end. LOL

Collapse -

Yes, but, as I understand it, ...

by deepsand In reply to hhhhmmmm

they were still beneath him.

Collapse -

So he had a human shield

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Yes, but, as I understand ...

Just in case some aggrieved man wanted to blow his private parts away because he used them on their wife/girlfriend.

Col ]:)

Collapse -

Depends on the weapon & the shooter's skills.

by deepsand In reply to So he had a human shield

With a .50 caliber, full jacketed slug, she's dead & he'll have no further need for any woman.

Collapse -

But at least he

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Depends on the weapon & t ...

Would have a great story to tell about how it happened wouldn't he? :)

Col ]:)

Collapse -

Of course he would

by dafe2 In reply to Depends on the weapon & t ...

Have the evidence on her skirt to prove it too

Collapse -

New breakthrough

by Tony Hopkinson In reply to Monday Mirth - New Elemen ...

Govenmentium does have electrons, called the electorate, they are gradually lost through non spontaneous decay.

As this point the element goes through a phase change, the ion attracts an enormous amount of negativity generating selectrons ( unproven conjecture due to the enormous energy requirements).
Switches to one of it's other istropic forms such as socialisticum and behaves much more rationally for a time before re-newing the decay cycle.

The mechanisms for which isotropic form governmentium will take on after the phase change are as yet poorly understood.

Related Discussions

Related Forums