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  • #2259081

    Now I have to go kill someone


    by jdclyde ·

    It is 11:30am, sitting at my desk TRYING to get some work done, and SOMEONE thinks they are funny and popped some popcorn!

    Now that is all I can smell! wow, does that smell good! This will not be pretty when I find out who the offending person is!

    How do you handle food smells in the work place?

All Comments

  • Author
    • #3205662


      by jck ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      just be frustrated and deal with it…that’s how I do…since my new office is literally 5 steps from the kitchen down here.

      And it’s noisy as f**k too…I can barely work…boss heard I was upset with it here, and came and talked to me about it…he said “I would help you, but there’s nowhere else I could move you.”

      I almost looked at him and said “How about our branch office that is 2 miles from my house that they’re expanding?”, but he wants me under his thumb…so…I’m SOL.

      Buncha crap…ready to go work at Perkins restaurant prepping the buffet.

      • #3205644


        by too old for it ·

        In reply to um

        They rebuilt the two cubes acrsoss from mine with low “admin assistant” walls. Too bad the two people that work there are deeply involved in really important stuff.

        Now the aisleway is a fricken conference room 8 hours a day.

        • #3205622

          post signs

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to Noise?

          The food is a different story, but for nonstop chitter chatter, post signs in the aisleway reminding people to be quiet and that people are working.

        • #3282499

          Sitting here this morning…8:23am

          by jck ·

          In reply to Noise?

          Our offices have the cube walls and the non-sound-absorbing ceiling tiles. hence, I can hear anything spoken in a normal voice for about 30 feet around me. Plus, people go in and out of the kitchen…so, I am hearing them talk while they wait for things to cook and get coffee and snacks, as well as all the other noise.

          I hear 3 individual conversations, 2 inspectors on their walkie-talkie phones talking to field workers, and have heard 2 phones ring in the time I’ve typed this.

          Just ludicrous, when they have a customer service manager who has 2 offices at 2 sites. I could be in that 2nd office over 2 miles from my house.

          But nooooooooo…


        • #3282489

          hey you

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Sitting here this morning…8:23am

          i’m sensing some disatisfaction there..

          how you been?

        • #3282487

          I been okay…I guess

          by jck ·

          In reply to hey you

          Yes…even tho my boss is a nice guy and I work with some good people…this job went from okay to a place where they are hiring bozos from the big city who are wanting to set up fifedoms rather than get their work done.

          I’m about to list my house on the market (and hopefully sell it) and move into an apartment and have a life again.

          Only had 2 companies even correspond with me in Ireland. One said they wouldn’t be sponsoring a work authorisation…the other the HR director wanted to talk to me, but he had a lot of EU applicants and he had to prove them unqualified before he could even think of talking to me about the position.

          Nothing has worked out yet…hope I get something before next summer…and another hurricane season 😀

          BTW…I have 3 leather coats now…I’m well prepared for Irish winters 😉

          hope you’re ok…drop me a line? 🙂

          If you do, I’ll tell you about our new customer service manager…typical friggin tie brandisher…

        • #3282481


          by shellbot ·

          In reply to I been okay…I guess

          sorry to hear its not going so great.
          ya, the government really clamped down on hiring non EU. They’ve made it so hard that most employers aren’t bothering. But don’t give up.
          If all else fails, hook up with an Irish chick 🙂

          me..not so fan-friggin-tastic, but life goes on..
          i’ll drop you a line soon and we can catch up a bit..go on, tell me about the manager..i like hearing about walking talking a$$holes 🙂

        • #3284776

          You’ve got mail

          by problemsolversolutionseeker ·

          In reply to ick

          Why do I think I am watching the movie here

      • #3283438

        How did we (Bi-Pedal Carbon Units) get to the top of the food chain

        by cewallace ·

        In reply to um

        I worked alone as a roving troubleshooter for decades. After recovering from injuries suffered in an industrial accident in 1998 I took a few classes and obtained A+ and MS NT4 Certification. Working inside, in an Office atmosphere was new and frankly quite nice for some time. Working with the Ladies had me distracted for a while, I had been working with Gorillas for decades.
        Once the honeymoon was over, I noticed that many ‘People(Users)’ are , shall we say, ‘Challenged’!!
        Challenged = Lazy, Stupid, Ignorant, Inconsiderate, Unaware, Oblivious, Jack-Offs!!!
        Burned popcorn, fish, spilled coffee, food left in frig, mysterious stains on carpet and cubicle panels, etc, etc……

        But, many of these same ‘People’ are computer illiterate as well , and therefore Job Security for US.

        • #3200045

          Oh, I could tell you stories…

          by menace65 ·

          In reply to How did we (Bi-Pedal Carbon Units) get to the top of the food chain

          I think the people who work at my company must be related to the ones who work at yours! The level of inconsideration is incredible. We’ve had to batten down any food that comes in the door (nevermind it’s for a meeting and covered up, they break into it), burned popcorn EVERY day (they *like* it that way?!), UDOs (unidentified disgusting objects) in the fridge, people who take out all the Sweet & Low packets in the container looking for that ONE Equal packet and leave the Sweet & Lows strewn about. I have to say, it’s the Finance group that is the absolute worst! At least in the IT department, whomever shows such signs of inconsideration are lambasted within an inch of their life. Then again we lambast each other just for the hell of it too!


    • #3205659

      Ignore them

      by tig2 ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Generally no one complains about my salads. No smell. I have an air freshener in my workspace generally. That keeps out the odours.

      • #3282321


        by ed woychowsky ·

        In reply to Ignore them

        I’m more of a Pooh than a Tigger. I get rumbly in the tumbly just thinking about it.

        • #3284766


          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Can’t

          The best solution for moments like those!

          Hunny is NOT Tigger’s favourite thing! But Milne never told us what Tiggers DO like. I may know- but I am not telling…

        • #3284757

          Hunny as mead

          by ed woychowsky ·

          In reply to Hunny

          Ever have mead? They?ve got a pretty good one at the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. Yep, nothing like tying one on and watching the joust. Alright, truth be told, tying one on and taking a nap.

        • #3284719

          In my younger days

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Hunny as mead

          I worked the So Cal Ren Faire. 85 pounds of costume in blistering heat.

          The mead was always good though. I have made my own a few times but it was never significantly better.

          With training, I haven’t had the time to tie one on and nap. Now that I am finally off season, I may have to do that- just so I can remember what it is like.

          Edited for a reason

        • #3284662

          Be careful

          by ed woychowsky ·

          In reply to In my younger days

          After drinking mead I?ve been know to trip over my rapier before my nap.

    • #3205655

      I almost threw up…

      by onbliss ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      …once, when someone sitting near me was having fish for lunch.

      Coming to your question, like T2 said I too just ignore them.

      But one thing that upsets me all the time is – Burnt Popcorn smell.

      • #3205648

        Oh yeah, that tops the list

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to I almost threw up…

        People that are not smart enough to handle popping popcorn in a microwave are trusted with the computers and other assets of the company? :0

        Be afraid…. Be very afraid…..

        • #3205638

          Burnt popcorn = job security

          by fungus-among-us ·

          In reply to Oh yeah, that tops the list

          I’d say that more than 50% of the microwaved popcorn that goes past my office (I’m between the lunch room and 95% of the rest of the building) is BURNED.

          I have grown a high tolerance for the smell of freshly microwaved popcorn (burnt or not), but the smell that I am currently finding irresistable is microwave pork rinds… man I need a beer.

        • #3282477

          microwaved pork-rinds?

          by hmbower ·

          In reply to Burnt popcorn = job security

          I am disgusted to know that such a thing even exists… 🙂

        • #3282441


          by shellbot ·

          In reply to microwaved pork-rinds?

          cheeze whiz people..thats gotta be nasty!

          mmmmmmmmmmmm cheeze whiz…

        • #3282417

          Oh yeah

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to ugghhh

          cheeeeeeezeeeeee! 😀

        • #3205618


          by cmiller5400 ·

          In reply to Oh yeah, that tops the list

          This coworker of mine decided to have popcorn. Not too bad, set it on 5 minutes and left the room. Came back 5 minutes later to find black smoke billowing out of the microwave, and it was inches from igniting. The worst part is they were studing fire science to become a firefighter :0

        • #3205597

          someone needs to tell them

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Ha

          the average popcorn takes about 3 minutes, not 5.

          Bet everything cooked in that microwave tasted real good for a while after that! :0

        • #3205594

          My experience

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Ha

          At one point we were clearing out the home freezer, and my wife found one of those single serving frozen dinners that I often take to work. It happened to be sheppard’s pie.

          I noticed a few crystals on it when I opened it, but I figured what hard can it do – the mash potatoes on top could be yucky but whats underneath might be fine.

          So I put it in the microwave for the listed 5 minutes. Except that by three, it started to smoke and it took me a few more seconds to realize, a few more to get the paper towels etc.

          The mashed potatoes at the top had scorched and blackened, and were smoking mightily. I filled the room with acrid smoke. There was no windows to open and the vents really weren’t designed to circulate that much air that quickly.

          I heard about it for about six months.


        • #3282544

          ha ha

          by gpottash ·

          In reply to Ha

          Or an arsonist…

        • #3205582

          Oops I’m on a list!

          by tink! ·

          In reply to Oh yeah, that tops the list

          The microwave we have in our office is too small for regular size bags of popcorn. Therefore I used the one in the lunch area of the plant. As it is an older microwave I put it on for 5 minutes and went to do something for a sec. Of course I completely forgot about the popcorn until I smelled something. Whoops!

          The whole plant was filled with the smell (and smoke) of burnt popcorn. Needless to say I was the brunt of some teasing for the the next few days. 🙂

          I have since solved the popcorn problem by buying the mini-bags. They fit nicely into our office microwave and they take exactly 3 minutes. 🙂

      • #3205620

        Its better than Skunk

        by w2ktechman ·

        In reply to I almost threw up…

        I hate burnt popcorn smell, but picture this
        warm day (85 deg)
        AC — out
        someone got sprayed by a skunk coming into work

        1/3 of the floor was complaining.

      • #3284658

        No fish in the microwave!!!

        by ole88 ·

        In reply to I almost threw up…

        That’s our policy here. We have outlawed reheating fish in the microwave because the smell lingers for days (forget hours). We also flog people who don’t cover their food before reheating or clean up after themselves. And then you mention burnt popcorn smell…. I hate that one too. Popcorn is not a “set it and forget it” item in the microwave. Just makes you want to yell out, “hey idiot, stay and listen next time!”

        Dealing with brain dead simps is a full-time job in itself.

    • #3205633

      Gah…f’ing sardines!

      by jmgarvin ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      I had a coworker that was OBSESED with sardines. YUCK…The smell would get into everything.

      ‘Course when I was in the army one guy in my platoon left an open sardine container in my vehicle. My platoon sgt gets in and says:
      “Boy this truck smells like

      • #3205600

        Tuna boy across the hall

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to Gah…f’ing sardines!

        The guy in the office across the hall from me will eat a can of tuna for lunch. The whole place smells like it after that. I ask him where he got his new cologn from….. tunaboy!

        He will also eat a box of tofo, straight. What a sick puppy.

        As for cars, (I didn’t do it!) someone put a fish under the seat of a co-workers car, middle of summer. It took a few days to find where the smell was coming from, and then it was the flies that gave away the hiding spot! :0

        Last car story. My bud was a security guard for a sugarbeet processing plant. If you have never been by one, they smell like an very well used out house. From his car being parked there while he worked, it always had the smell that someone took a dump in the glove box or something. He did seem to go through a period where he wasn’t dating as much, hmmmmmmm.

    • #3205626

      I “borrow” pastries ]:)

      by nicknielsen ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      What else can you do when you’re in the deli, troubleshooting a scale’s Ethernet card, and the bakery has cinnamon buns in the oven. 🙂

      Popcorn’s got [b]nothing[/b] on cinnamon buns for getting the mouth watering.

    • #3205607

      I wish popcorn was the only smell

      by mjd420nova ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Worked in an old building that had been built in 1930’s, the old red brick kind. Really wasn’t too bad, but then some one noticed the mice. The exterminator came in and put out rat poison and killed all the mice. Then the smell of all those little rotting bodies permeated the whole place. GOD, you couldn’t cover it up with any freshener or deodorant. Tried incense and that worked somewhat but it couldn’t fool your stomach. Had the most terrible cramps that didn’t go away until you left the building. When we left, they demolished it and left a hole in the ground.

      • #3283137

        Luxury Sheer Luxury!

        by protiusx ·

        In reply to I wish popcorn was the only smell

        Why when I was a lad we had to work in a building that was once a slaughter house. There was still bits and pieces of bone, sinew and gristle on the ground. We worked in maggoty infested cubicles for 27 hours a day, went home to our cardboard houses, slept for negative three hours and then got up and did it all over again. We had to pay for the privilege of working there!

        Sorry, I was on a Monty Python kick just then. Mmmmm Rat stew!

    • #3205602


      by maecuff ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Oh JD, the smells we’ve had here…

      Our building is less than a mile from the water treatment plant. Earlier this Summer, I think Homer Simpson must have been at the controls, but SOMETHING happened and for a week, the whole area smelled like wide open a$$. It was beyond bad. And even worse than that, about a month ago, one of the sinks in the women’s bathroom clogged up and our maintenance crew put draino down the sink. The stench that erupted was SO foul that at one point, I ran from my office outside wretching. (I actually got to the point where your face starts to sweat and your mouth waters). I didn’t puke, but it was all I could do to walk back inside.

      Our IT department is just two big rooms, the computer room and then the IT office, which is six cubicles, a conference area and my office. There isn’t anywhere to go when it smells bad. As far as food goes, someone brought leftover fish in once, and that was pretty bad. Burnt popcorn? That happens on a weekly basis here..

      • #3205567

        Sewer problems

        by oldbag ·

        In reply to popcorn??

        One of my locations had really bad sewer and drainage issues. For at least 4 years the smell in one office could knock you over even with air freshener and scented candles. The only way the problem was corrected was when they moved.

        We still own the property but the old building was torn down and completely new services installed. We will be moving staff back to that location before the new year.

      • #3205561

        I feel your pain Mae

        by cmiller5400 ·

        In reply to popcorn??

        I used to work right in front of a regional sewerage plant. Less than 1/4 mile distance. Oh the sweet smell of crap in the morning… (by the way, there should be an emoticon for wretching. :^0 ) It would get pretty ripe on those hot summer days and just permiate everyplace in the building.

      • #3205521

        Try the stockyards

        by alangeek ·

        In reply to popcorn??

        When I first moved to Denver I got a job at an office in the middle of the stockyards. That’s where all the slaughterhouses are. Mind you, this is during the height of summer heat, so the smell was unbearable! We would have to hold our breath while running from the car to the building because of the stench. It was definitely enough to make you retch (not wretch).

        • #3205489

          That made me retch

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to Try the stockyards

          You wretch! :p

        • #3282604

          You got me there

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Try the stockyards

          it is retch, isn’t it?

          I’ve been to Dodge City, KS. They have enormous feed lots there, and yes, the smell of that many cows is overwhelming. We drove through in a convertable. It smelled so bad, it was either laugh or puke..

    • #3205579

      How I deal with it?

      by tink! ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Lol. My coworker is the one who usually has to deal with it the most. We (the 3 ladies in the office) eat in shifts although mine is whenever I feel like it. She doesn’t eat til 1. The other lady eats around 12:30 but usually cooks her food around 12:15. When I smell her food cooking I can just go eat my lunch. My co-worker has to sit and wait, smelling the wondrous smells and feeling her stomach growl (plus she has to see the food too since the microwave is right in front of her desk.

      As well, she is often tortured by moi. Since I’m a constant-throughout-the-day-nonstop eater. I often eat stuff in the morning, close to lunchtime, at lunchtime and in the afternoon. [i](thank goodness I still have a young metabolism!)[/i]

      • #3205575

        I have gotten death threats

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to How I deal with it?

        because I will make my “surf and turf” stirfry. When I cook dinner, I normally plan on making enough for my lunch the next day as well.


        I should make that tonight! Well, maybe not. It is the first nice day in a few days because of rain, so I should fire up the grill! ]:)

        Tbone steak anybody? B-)

        • #3205557

          I’ll take a tbone!!

          by cmiller5400 ·

          In reply to I have gotten death threats

          That sounds good. I’ll take it rare-medium. But not too medium. Just enough so it can not moo back. Also, no toppings (well maybe a pinch of salt and pepper,) straight up with baked potato or smashed and a cold beer. Yummy B-)

        • #3205545

          Is there any other way?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I’ll take a tbone!!

          Freshly ground pepper too, and light salt, applied after the steak has been flipped.

          “Walk it through a warm room”! 😀

          I like mine at the mid stage myself.

          Toppings? On a tbone? toppings are made for cheap cuts of meat to hide the fact that you got cheap cuts of meat! X-(

          The only hard decision now is do I want red stripe beer or do I want kilians?

          As it is “in season” some corn on the cob sounds good too! B-) Stop at the farmers market on the way home! All locally grown! 😀

        • #3205488

          Brats & kraut

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to I’ll take a tbone!!

          That’ll get somebody’s attention at work the next day!

          My soon2bx marinates the steaks in a package of Good Seasons dry Italian with 4 tablespoons of olive oil. Oh, baby! Can’t live with her, but I can sure eat her cooking.

    • #3205556

      JD..I DO have a question for you..

      by maecuff ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Isn’t killing someone over popcorn a tad bit extreme? I mean, really..physical violence of any kind over popcorn is over the top.

      Maybe just stick your tongue out at them..that might be appropriate..

      • #3205552

        Does this mean

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to JD..I DO have a question for you..

        I can’t borrow your shovel?

        • #3205542


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Does this mean

          I don’t have a shovel. Really. I USED to have a shovel..but something happened to it. I swear. I haven’t seen it in ages. Why do you ask?? Nope. No shovel here.

        • #3205538

          Let me guess

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to errr..shovel?

          you just got done placing an ad for the suddenly open position on your staff? :0

        • #3205529


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Let me guess

          But I don’t think the neighbors dog will be crapping on the lawn anymore. 🙂

        • #3205513

          Dang it, now you have people staring

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Nope..

          I try not to draw attention to myself, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the old looney tunes of when tom the cat would get hit by Jerry in the face with a shovel and his face would be flat, but in the shape of a shovel…. 😀

        • #3282603

          Don’t blame me…

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Dang it, now you have people staring

          It’s not MY fault that you are still amused by Tom and Jerry.. 🙂

        • #3282415

          If we took a survey

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Dang it, now you have people staring

          I would bet I am not in the minority here!

          “Speedy like my seeester”

          “Speedy likes EEEEEVERYBODYSSS seeester!”


        • #3282405

          Tom and Jerry

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Dang it, now you have people staring

          the UK regulator, Ofcom, has banned all Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes cartoons that show smoking. PC gone absolutely mad.

          Unfortunately, I work for Ofcom but I promise that I had nothing to do with it!

          Neil 😀

        • #3282394

          Tom & Jerry Ban ….RIDICULOUS!

          by tink! ·

          In reply to Dang it, now you have people staring

          I couldn’t believe it when I saw they were banning episodes that have smoking in them. All because some people think it influences their kids to smoke? Somebody slap those people!! It is just simply another instance of [b]LAZY PARENTS![/b] It is not difficult to explain to your youngsters the dangers of smoking. But so many parents today would rather just blame someone else for influencing their children, rather than play the key influential role themselves.

          My children all love Tom and Jerry including my 5 year old. They all know that smoking is bad and for right now, do not care to try it. They also know that any violence seen on TV is not meant to be reenacted in real-life. There is no reason why every other parent can’t teach their children the same. Leave the Classics alone!

        • #3282362

          I heard about that Neil

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Dang it, now you have people staring

          Seems the people in the UK are not as enlightened and carefree as we “across the pond” were led to believe? 😀

          And pay attention to the wording in the artical. This was all because “A” viewers complaint. ONE person complained, and this is what came of it. Glad we don’t have an oppressive government like that! :0

        • #3282355

          I think

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Dang it, now you have people staring

          that the amount of flak they are collecting over this might just stop them doing it again. General countrywide consensus is that it was just plain dumb.

          In this case, though, it’s not the government but an “Independent Regulator” wot done it. As they are my employers, though, I just hope that they’re not reading this! I’m trying to find out at what level the order was made. It may have been some jumped up PC idiot who overstepped the mark and is going to get his/her arse reamed. Hope so.


    • #3205501

      Never get to smell the food

      by wallowamichael ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      One of the server rooms that I work in once or twice a week is outside of the Jr. High boys locker room. Talk about wanting to kill someone!

      Most of these kids start to smell when they pick up a pencil, let alone 50 minutes of continuous activity.

      I don’t even bring lunch on those days.

    • #3282607

      I dont know

      by zlitocook ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      How many of you folks have white castles near you but they smell great and every one wants them. But the next day they be hurting!

    • #3282546

      get a life

      by helpusobiwan ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Get a life JClyde. Perhaps if you asked your co-workers to list all the little things _you_ do that tick _them_ off … and then y’all can swap lists. Good luck.

      • #3282518

        tee hee

        by shellbot ·

        In reply to get a life

        ah go on JD..i need a laugh..please..i’ll do anything

        • #3282455

          do anything?

          by jck ·

          In reply to tee hee

          ROFL…oh dear…and do you live near a pub, Shell? ]:)

        • #3282445

          of course

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to do anything?

          how can one liv ein ireland and NOT be near a pub? i think its actually next to impossible.

          alas..i’ve no one to babysit the teenager to make sure she don’t do anything stupid…so going out will just have to wait untill she smartens up

        • #3282436

          I know a way to make her behave…

          by jck ·

          In reply to of course

          What we do…is handcuff her to me…then…we go to the pub…and she has to sit next to me…and listen to me yap…and watch me drink…and when she has to go to the bathroom…

          she gets handcuffed to mom… ]:)

          (gotcha!! I’m not that big of a swill!!! )

          I thought kids could go into pubs in Ireland with their parents…is that not the case?

        • #3284777

          yes but

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to I know a way to make her behave…

          only till like 8 or laws
          but even then, i don’t really drink in front of her..well..ok a couple here and there socially or wine at dinner, but we don’t have more than one or 2 in her company generally..

        • #3284684

          A child should NEVER

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to yes but

          see their parents intoxicated, ever.

          It is a poor parent that does otherwise. X-(

          Your doing great Shell! 😡

        • #3282410

          btw, Shell…

          by jck ·

          In reply to of course

          Your making the comment about pubs…made me have flashbacks…

          In Dublin…Out the door of my hotel…across the street…boom…in the door of the pub… 🙂

          It was so fantastic there…can’t get over it…still

        • #3282413

          Careful Shell

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to tee hee

          I’m the kind of guy that would hold you to that! :0 ]:)


      • #3282490

        I’m waiting too

        by neilb@uk ·

        In reply to get a life

        for jd’s list, that is…

        Neil 😀

        Or, if you want, you can rip him a new one, jd. Either way I get a laugh.

        • #3282485

          rip rip rip

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to I’m waiting too

          please JD, where are you..come on..don’t make me go looking for you!

          but yes, i too would like to see the list

        • #3282452

          Dear Dad

          by jck ·

          In reply to I’m waiting too

          I sent the beer and curry over…did you get it? 😀

          BTW…I’m still waiting on my OBE and MBE and what not, as well as my autographed and framed picture of Prince Harry “The Ladies’ Man”. My hero…I hope to grope women in a bar and be royal too!!!

          Here’s my list:

          1) wake up
          2) fall back asleep
          3) wake up again
          4) realize it’s saturday
          5) stand up
          6) scratch butt
          7) get beer
          8) drink
          9) play video game
          10)drink more beer….

          Love weekends…when I’m not painting or doing housework. Hope to be doing that again soon. ]:)

      • #3282486


        by maecuff ·

        In reply to get a life

        Maybe this guy isn’t talking to JD.. His posts specifically calls out JClyde. Perhaps he’s confused?

      • #3282474

        Go JD Go Go JD….

        by onbliss ·

        In reply to get a life

        …Go JD!!!!

      • #3282420

        JD! JD! JD! JD!

        by techexec2 ·

        In reply to get a life


      • #3282418

        Stomp Stomp Clap! Stomp Stomp Clap!

        by techexec2 ·

        In reply to get a life

        Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise
        Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day
        You got mud on yo face
        You big disgrace
        Kickin’ your can all over the place

        JD will JD will rock you!
        JD will JD will rock you!

      • #3282399

        Grabs a bag of Popcorn, Microaved Pork Rinds, and a Soda…

        by mickster269 ·

        In reply to get a life


        Did I miss anything? Is JD here yet? (who is JD, btw?)

        Did someone save me a seat?

      • #3282390

        And what is this?

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to get a life

        That stands before me? Here I am, off working for a living and some twit comes along to byte me in the heal? ;\

        First, what can we say about our unemployed little ttocsmij? It is everyones fault but his that he was the one to be laid off, and he has repeatedly told us so. almost a copy and paste of poor him/her/it.

        You snivil about how people can have the time to waste on the net downloading games and such, yet, here YOU are, worming along with no ability to laugh at the world. Is it because the world is spending so much time laughing at you?

        Well, “y’all” (didn’t know NY had hicks) I would get this list, but as I am loved and adored by all, it would be a very short list. B-)

        How about you? Lets instead make a list about YOU.

        Cry cry cry, yeah, “y’all” got that covered.
        No sence of humore, “y’all” got that covered.
        Has not made a contribution to any of the discussions you have spread your tail of woe on, “y’all” got that covered.

        A Thirty-something that is going to pop your head in here and start telling people you have never had a single conversation with to “get a life”. You are worthless and weak, and lack sound judgement.

        Everyone else seems to have gotten the point of this discussion but you. Slow on the uptake? Is that the reason you were the one weeded out of your last organization? Just never “got it”?

        Well “y’all”, I DO have a life, AND a job. From your posts, it seems like you are the one with neither.

        Come back when you grow up and develope some sence of humor, and maybe have something to add to a discussion? ANY discussion, just add TO it.

        Or you can cry me a river.

        You ALMOST answered in a discussion ONCE, but it was unreasonable for someone without management backing to do, showing your total disconnect from reality.

        It is almost flattering that your fifth post on TR would be to take such a weak post to me. I lie. You are just another johny-come-lately that can read a “Hot Discussion” list and attempt a weak post.

        Care to start over, taking the post the way it was intended? I am always willing to overlook a stupid noobie mistake such as this.

        That is why I am loves and admired by all! B-)

        Have a good day “y’all”, you hear?

        • #3282386

          Woohoo! Go JD!

          by tink! ·

          In reply to And what is this?

          You tell him!!

        • #3282385


          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to And what is this?

          The anticipation and palpable tension in the air, waiting for the dam to burst, put me on pins and needles.

          I suppose I can’t complain abou the free entertainment.

          But I was an expecting an out of the park grand slammer, and I got a blooper base hit.

          Think Jerry Springer and chairs bashed over heads.

          Whats the matter, in love or something?


        • #3282375

          Oh really James

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Dissapointed

          Do you really think his post was deserving of more than that? I didn’t. Think of it as the warm up session. If he steps up to the plate for another swing though, I probably won’t be so nice. 😀

        • #3282364


          by onbliss ·

          In reply to Dissapointed

          Here we are expecting a sumptuous feast, and all we get is bread+water 🙂

        • #3282382

          I’m with you for most of this..

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to And what is this?

          but you are just about one ‘y’all’ from getting your a$$ kicked. Y’all. 🙂

        • #3282372

          As this has come up before

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I’m with you for most of this..

          I was laughing thinking of you each and everytime I put that in there! :p Would never have driven that part home as much as I did, quotes and all, if wasn’t for you! B-)

          Who loves ya baby? 😡

        • #3282352

          s’kay JD

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to As this has come up before

          No worries.. but y’all will get yours when it’s y’all’s time..

        • #3282332

          Why do I suddenly hear

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to s’kay JD

          “Be afraid. Be very afraid!” ? :0

          ~run away! Run away!~

        • #3282331

          Hey, now –

          by mickster269 ·

          In reply to And what is this?

          give jd a break. He didn’t need to bring his “A” game to this guy.

          Sure, maybe jd did “phone this one in”, but even Babe Ruth took a break now and then.

          SO, y’all give jd a break- maybe he’s just mellowed today because they release a new collection of “Judy Garland” hits on CD yesterday.

        • #3282329

          Yeah, give me a break!

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Hey, now –

          People make it sound like I am a flame-a-holic around here? Now if that would have been DAWG, it would have been another story.

          Me? Usually not quite as quick to byte! Like I said, he only rated a nip at this point. I felt anything more would have been a “disproportionate use of force” and I would have had the fearsome UN pounding on my door! :0

          And exactly how did YOU know about a set being released yesterday? Sounds like you might have a secret to share with the class? :p It’s ok, your ammong friends that won’t laught too much! 😀

        • #3282323

          Wrong JD…

          by jellimonsta ·

          In reply to Yeah, give me a break!

          It was rather presumptuous for you to state we wouldn’t “laugh too much!” I may just LMAO.
          Seriously, it may fall all the way off…

        • #3282319

          I knew about the CD’s –

          by mickster269 ·

          In reply to Yeah, give me a break!

          Because *I* got a list from your office mates about what bugs them most about YOU.

          And your incessant singing of Show TUnes was high on thier list.

          That, and your interpretation of “casual” Fridays.

        • #3282311

          Easier to let a cat out of the bag than get it back in?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I knew about the CD’s –

          I feel pretty
          Oh so pretty
          I feel pretty and
          witty and gay
          And I pity
          Any girl who isn’t me today
          I feel charming
          Oh so charming
          It’s alarming how charming I feel
          And so pretty
          That I hardly can believe I’m real
          See the pretty girl in that mirror there?
          Who can that attractive girl be?
          Such a pretty face
          Such a pretty dress
          Such a pretty
          Such a pretty me!
          I feel stunning And entrancing
          Feel like running
          And dancing for joy
          For I’m loved
          By a pretty wonderful boy
          Have you met my good friend Maria
          The craziest
          girl on the block?
          You’ll know her the minute you see her
          She’s the one who is in an advanced state of shock
          She thinks she’s in love
          She thinks
          she’s in Spain
          She isn’t in love
          She’s merely insane
          It must be the heat
          Or some rare disease
          Or too much to eat
          Or maybe it’s fleas
          Keep away from her
          Send for Chino
          This is not the
          Maria we know
          Modest and pure
          Polite and refined
          Well-bred and mature
          And out of her mind!
          Miss America, Miss America, speech!
          Miss America, bravo, speech!
          I feel pretty
          Oh so pretty
          That the city should give me its key
          A committee Should be organized to honour me
          I feel dizzy
          I feel sunny
          I feel fizzy and funny and fine
          And so pretty
          Miss America can just resign
          See the pretty girl in that
          mirror there
          (What mirror, where?)
          Who can that attractive girl be?
          (Which, what, where, whom?)
          Such a pretty face
          Such a pretty dress
          Such a pretty smile
          Such a pretty me!
          I feel stunning
          And entrancing
          Feel like running and dancing for joy
          For I’m loved
          By a pretty wonderful boy

        • #3282301

          I’m impressed

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Easier to let a cat out of the bag than get it back in?

          All from memory?

          GUess you are auditioning for the other team.

          Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..


        • #3282299

          Don’t you judge me!

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Easier to let a cat out of the bag than get it back in?


        • #3282291


          by mickster269 ·

          In reply to Easier to let a cat out of the bag than get it back in?

          I have no response to that…


          (still laughing)

        • #3282289

          I don’t judge

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Easier to let a cat out of the bag than get it back in?

          Some of my best….wait thats too cliche….

          As long as you are comfortable in your own skin.

          Seriously, in choral music I sometimes thought I was one of the few straight guys…..

          I think sexuality is only one aspect of one’s life, and those who chose to define themselves polticially and socially on one aspect of their lives are pretty sadly missing alot of things life has to offer. The vast majority of gay people I know are not in that catagory.


        • #3282318

          Be brave and accept it….

          by onbliss ·

          In reply to Yeah, give me a break!

          …you stole our Tuesday Thunder. You robbed us of our entertainment.

          Regarding “disproportionate use of force”; what are friends for, we would have looked the other way 🙂

        • #3282312

          [i]~walks away in shame~

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Be brave and accept it….

          But on the other hand, the seagull poster did his sh!t and left anyways. Would have been a waste of a good rip to have used it on someone that never even came back to read it!

          Now, if I would have seen it first thing this morning instead of half way through the day……..

        • #3284774

          ok ok..

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to And what is this?

          i think JD deserves a bit of praise for holding back and not giving it his best..i mean, if the little chap comes back for more, then i’d like to see a larger show of force..but maybe restraint was called for..

          however, in the pursuit of my own happiness..i would have voted for a more brutal approach.
          however, maybe i’m just being selfish..

          I must say though, there were some very witty marks go to you..

          personally i hope the poster returns..cause i’ve been away from TR for almost a month and frankly, i need to see a bit of action ]:)

          JD, its OK to like showtunes..not my thing, but you know..if thats the way the pendulum swings, thats cool.


    • #3282403

      One of the four food groups

      by protiusx ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Popcorn is an important part of the food pyramid. Along with the cheese group, the meat group and the all to important potato group, the popcorn group keeps us all svelte and healthy!
      So, the appropriate response when faced with a co-worker who has popped a bag of pop-corn is to go to their desk and take the pop-corn away from them. Or go pop your own. Which ever is least frowned upon.

      • #3282396

        BCBs – food group of the GODS

        by neilb@uk ·

        In reply to One of the four food groups

        Brown Crunchy Bits.


        • #3284872


          by protiusx ·

          In reply to BCBs – food group of the GODS

          I don’t know what they are but just the name sounds good.

        • #3284786

          The brown crunchy bit

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to MMmmmm!

          on anything that’s fried, roasted or broiled…

          My entire cuisine is based on BCBs. Poaching? Only if you’re going to fry it afterwards!


        • #3283615


          by protiusx ·

          In reply to The brown crunchy bit

          Fried foods rock! I’m right there with you! The only other thing I like as much is BBQ. I will BBQ everything.

    • #3284781

      it’s banned

      by bob_steel ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Food shouldn’t be allowed in the workplace. Don’t kill the person – that’s rude. Just sack them

      • #3284981

        Not wanting to be rude

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to it’s banned

        But they don’t work for me so I CAN’T sack them! 🙁

        Borrowing Maes’ shovel seems to be the only solution available at this time! 😀

    • #3284772

      Low Fat Popcorn

      by problemsolversolutionseeker ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      I figured out that the low fat popcorn is the big offender.

      I worked with someone that was always burning her popcorn. I would go over to her cubicle every time, and say things like – ‘Does it matter to you that I cannot breathe everytime you cook that popcorn? I told the project manager that I have to leave the building when you do this’

      • #3283139


        by protiusx ·

        In reply to Low Fat Popcorn

        ?Low fat? should not be used in the same sentence as ?Popcorn?. Appropriate adjectives are: ?Megga Butter?, ?Heart-stopping-extra-salt-and-megga-butter? and ?spam?.

    • #3284721

      Curry mustn’t smell …….

      by gadgetgirl ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      Couple of years ago, I was part of the IT team that moved 500 people in a co-location.

      First, we were told that as the building was still legally under construction, the kitchen was out of use, so we’d have to send out for food, which the company agreed to pay for.

      ……. as long as it didn’t smell……..

      Second, and the best one of the lot, they decided that staff were not, under any circumstances allowed to eat at their desks in their lunch breaks.

      Then they realised that they had a 40 seat brasserie for nearly 500 staff….and consequently belayed that order.

      In allowing us to eat at our desks, the memo went around, which stated, definitively, that we were not allowed, under any circumstances, to bring in food which would leave a residual smell in the work area, i.e. fish, onion, chilli etc.

      Then, for the next five Wednesdays, served curry in the brasserie, which stank out the entire building until the weekend.

      They forgot to tell the catering manager about the “No Smelly Food” rule!!!


      • #3284660

        Seafood too

        by ed woychowsky ·

        In reply to Curry mustn’t smell …….

        Curry’s smell isn’t strong. However, there’s something wrong when seafood smells.

        • #3284982


          by jck ·

          In reply to Seafood too

          I hate it most when I smell…and so do my co-workers ]:)

        • #3284980

          Axe body spray… tastes like chicken

          by fungus-among-us ·

          In reply to hmm

          “I hate it most when I smell…and so do my co-workers”

          Well at least no one has to eat you…
          On second thought… lemme take that one back since I don’t know about your personal life. 🙂

        • #3284978

          I really was wondering

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to hmm

          just how long it would take for the conversation to shift from smelly food to smelly people……..

          Unlike my last job, everyone showers frequently here. 😀

          “put a bay leaf under each arm. Sure, it won’t stop you from smelling, but at least you’ll smell like soup!”

          I love old George Carlin, back when he was funny…. Now he is just a b1tchy old man with very little to offer. sad.

        • #3284952

          but of course

          by jck ·

          In reply to I really was wondering

          I would take it that way ]:)

          I shower frequently…but when you get involved in office moves (you would think I was God when I picked up a 4 drawer file cabinet and put it on the moving cart), you do sweat a bit. And, I sweat a lot.

          I’d put a bay leaf under my armpit…but…I don’t know if anyone here likes soup… 😀

      • #3284975

        curry smells?

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to Curry mustn’t smell …….

        The worst thing is when something smells GOOD and it makes you hungry!

        I will be hearing it today, because my leftovers I brought in for lunch today is steak stir-fry! ;\

        • #3284970

          jd, dear, when

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to curry smells?

          the catering manager is TOLD to be “culturally aware”, he’s the one that goes out and buys the super-concentrate curry sauce from the caterers.

          Not everyone likes curry. Or the smell of it.

          Some of us (me) love curry, but will hospitalise themselves by eating it.

          Ergo: staff torture.

          Dammit, jd, I wasn’t hungry till those words: “steak stir-fry”…..




        • #3284944

          And boy was it GOOD!

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to jd, dear, when

          Got the evil eye the whole time, so I had to run back into my office and close the door! 🙂

          WAS going to cook on the grill, but the weather hasn’t been cooperating. 🙁

          Did I mention how good the steak stir-fry was? ]:)

        • #3284956

          JD Recipie Please :)

          by cmiller5400 ·

          In reply to curry smells?

          Can I have your recipie for the Steak Stir-fry? It sounds good. By the way, I am going to lunch now because I am hungry. Oh, and my coworker just went and picked up his lunch. Pad Thai. Yummy ]:)

        • #3284943

          Sending myself a reminder email right now

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to JD Recipie Please :)

          Watch tomorrow or later tonight. I will start a discussion for swapping recipes!

          It is actually suppose to be steak and shrimp, but I didn’t have any shrimp so I doubled the steak!

          some dry sherry, some ginger, carrots, spinach, bean sprouts, (I also like to add water chestnuts for texture).

          I like to do the Julia Childs bit, “I love to cook with wine! Sometimes I even put some in the food”! 😀

          Only takes about a half hour, with prep time included!

        • #3283540

          CM5400, recipe as requested

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to JD Recipie Please :)

          Surt and turf stir fry
          (disclaimer, I did not create this dish)

          needed to make:
          1/2 lb beef, sliced thinly, I use sirloin steak, but round will work. only about $.50/lb differnece and I am worth fifty cents!
          1/2 lb shrimp
          2 medium carrots (roll cut, should be about a cup)
          1/4 cup dry sherry
          1 glass sherry (for cook) 😀
          2 TB cold water
          2 TB soy sauce
          2 tsp cornstarch
          1 tsp sugar
          1 TB cooking oil. (I like peanut for stirfry)
          1/2 tsp grated gingerroot
          1/2 lb spinach (6 cups), I always add more because we like lots of veggies!
          1 cup fresh bean sprouts (not out of a can! NO LA CHOY!)


          Sauce, stir together sherry,water,cornstarch,sugar,water and soy sauce. Set aside.

          cook carrots in salted boiling water for 3 1/2 minutes. drain.

          preheat wok or large skillet, add oil (add more if needed)
          Add gingerroot for 15 seconds, then add carrots and spinach. stirfry for 2 minutes. add bean sprouts for 1 minute, stirfry. Should be “crisp/tender”. Do not over cook or they are mush and that ruins a stirfry! Remove vegies from pan.

          Re-oil wok if needed, then add meat. Should take about 3 minutes to stirfry. Remove meat.

          Stirfry shrimp until pink. return meat to wok. Push meat and shrimp up on sides of wok.

          Stir sauce, then dump in the center. cook and stir till “thickened and bubbly” Cook for about 1 more minute.

          return veggies, and stir together to mix and coat everything.

          Can be served on a bed of rice or noodles, depending on what you like. I usually do the rice, just NOT plain bleached white rice, and NOT instant rice.


          Tip for cutting meat. Put in freezer between 45 to 60 minutes. Then slice on an angle away from yourself with a sharp knife. The thinner the better it will be!

          When I don’t have shrimp, I double steak.

          If you try this, let me know how it works out for you. We do this at least twice a month.

        • #3283440

          Cool Thanks!!!

          by cmiller5400 ·

          In reply to CM5400, recipe as requested

          for the recipie, I will try it and let you know how I make out.

        • #3283400

          Just be sure

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Cool Thanks!!!

          to have a few big bowls out for everytime you have to take stuff out and put it back in.

          I also have everything cut and mixed before I start cooking. Get flame as hot as possible, and make sure the wok is HOT.

          To do a “real” stirfry, you would need a special burner. The average stove does not get hot enough to sear in the flavor correctly. 🙁

          I just need to find a bigger/better wok. I have a forged one, but again that doesn’t give you the same effect. You need a “hammered” wok. The bottom is thinner than the sides so it gets hotter, and so you cook something, pull it up on the thicker sides that are not as hot, but keep everything warm. The hammered wok also holds the food on the sides better.

          I will probably need to make a run down by Detroit to find a good one. None of the local stores carry anything but small forged ones. 🙁

          I am in the center of a cultural wasteland! Polish/German/Mexican is IT!

        • #3283145

          I hear…

          by cmiller5400 ·

          In reply to Just be sure

          That an outdoors turkey fryer will do the trick for getting it hotter than your stove. I believe that Alton Brown on Food Network used one when he did his woking show. I remember the wok getting pretty red at the bottom.

        • #3283114

          I have a wok burner and I can’t recommend it too highly

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Just be sure

          The thing about ordinary gas burners is that they heat the sides of the wok but not the bottom. I bought a new stove just so I could get a wok bruner. It has a burner with three concentric rings that delivers twice as much heat as my previous big burner. The difference that it has made to my stir frying is just amazing. When you finally move, invest in a wok burner!

          Just down the road from me is a HUGE Chinese supermarket that serves the restaurants as well as punters like me. They have everything so I really am spoilt. Woks are pressed steel and under ?5.

        • #3283105

          cm5400: Can I add a recommendation to jd’s excellent recipe

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Just be sure

          I would add a crushed garlic clove when you fry the veggies. I would also a a small quantity of sliced chili when frying the steak.

        • #3283010

          Variations I have tried

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Just be sure

          broccoli is always a winner.

          Snow pea pods. mmmmmm. Just remember that they take longer to cook than the spinach does.

          I also forgot to explain the “roll cut” for the carrots.

          Cut it on a 45 degree angle, roll the carrot over 180 and then cut it again. This cuts the carrots quickly and easily into wedges instead of the common and boring disk that most people cut them into. They are there for texture as much as color, so they might as well look good at the same time.

          I have also tried throwing the chilies in to spice it up, but I never put the garlic in yet. Will add that next time.

          When I made it the other night, I did use an oil that had garlic and chili in it, but it isn’t quite the same.

      • #3284959

        My ex and I lived

        by maecuff ·

        In reply to Curry mustn’t smell …….

        in an apartment building with 6 units. An Indian family moved in and the smell of curry hung in the air 24 hours a day. It permeated our apartment. You just COULD not get away from it. We moved into a house during the Summer months and I had packed my Winter things in a zippered, plastic wardrobe. The following Winter, I got one of my coats out and was instantly BLASTED with the smell of Curry. Now? I can’t stand the smell.

        • #3284911

          My first and only house purchase

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to My ex and I lived

          I bought a house from an Indian family and yes, the house did smell of curry.

          But since the carpets were original (15 years old), and the walls were a little dull, we had planned to paint and re-carpet anyway.

          After repainting and replacing carpet and curtains, you couldn’t tell that we had had a problem. Luckily we moved in during the summer and could really air the place out.

          Yes, I got a huge deal because they had problems selling the place. It had been on the market for a year, and we offered 85% of the list (back when the real estate market was very soft). I wouldnt have been so bold but I had a good buyers agent working for me.

          I love curry. And butter chicken mmmmmm….


    • #3283617

      The Steak Stir-fry did the trick!

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to Now I have to go kill someone

      It was the perfect revenge, of them having to smell MY food and get hungry! 😀

      A lot of the time, I will do my food early because it has more effect on others when they have an empty stomach! B-)

      What did everyone have for lunch? Hopefully it was as tormenting to your coworkers as mine was! :^0

Viewing 16 reply threads