Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Locked

Ok, I am tired of all this political jibber-jabber & have come up with a solution… I will assume world leadership & abolish all political parties.

Seriously, think about it, here’s my manifesto: –

1. All tech support people will be elevated to near godliness.

2. End users who call on tech support to fix their pc when the pc is fine, just turned off will be dragged out & beaten with a C64.

3. Free beer.

4. More free beer.

5. There will be a weekly tv event where Jardinier & Maxwell will be locked in a room together & given a topic of conversation – non-lethal weapons will also be supplied. (Sorry guys – I do respect both of you but thinking of this made me laugh.)

6. Anyone who is or claims to be a politician will be dragged out & shot.

7. All electrician unions will be disbanded.

8. Keira Knightley will be my girlfriend.

9. So will Kate Beckinsdale.

10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.

11. Microsoft will be forced to make a Linux OS & an open-source version of Windows will be released.

12. All Macs to be ejected into space. My rules!

13. No arguing with me unless I ask you to.

14. Geeks will now be seen as the new sex symbols, Brad Pitt & George Clooney will be made illegal. To go along with this GadgetGirl will be the new face of Vogue.

15. Jdclyde to assume his new role as Beer master.

16. The girl who works in the office across the street from me will also be my girlfriend. (Late entry but she’s got a great smile)

17. Religion is fine as are religious views but any mention of it outside of a place of worship is forbidden except for the new religion ‘Jedi’ – Loosely based on the teachings of Yoda but also includes kneeling before me.

Ok, sorry if using anyones names in this comes across wrong but tough – my world, my rules. Who’s with me? You know you’ve always dreamed about being an evil minion.

Topic

But Sire

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

you forgot about the “two super models for each geek” as rule #18! (note, this is not arguing as it was not asked for! 😀 )

#19 Four day weeks.

#20 sun roof in the server room so we can see daylight!

and my old standbys.
#21 Outlaw the letter “c” and public floggings for anyone that uses “ph” to make an “f” sound! X-(

When is the uprising?

Ignore this.

In reply to But Sire

Told you to ignore, you had to click didn’t you.

Clicked it

In reply to Ignore this.

just because I was told not too!

:p

Your not king YET! B-)

You’re hired…

In reply to But Sire

Rules 18 thru 21 added to manifesto. Please consider yourself the new owner of France (this is not an insult – you may kick the French into the sea if you wish).

But how would I ever

In reply to You’re hired…

get the smell out? :0 ;\

[i]bloody frogs! 😀

JD, Don’t worry.

In reply to But how would I ever

Fabreeze (I am Kertian that is spelled wrong) works great. THen

Also, the language is easy. Just put on your most arrogant fake and say, SURRENDER and RETREAT. Its what the frenkh do best. 😀

Oh yeah

In reply to But how would I ever

When you are the ruler of the country formerly known as France, Make those who stay take a bath at least every other day

#21

In reply to But Sire

How does one spell the sound for “ch” then?

easy

In reply to #21

you don’t! 😀

Think how simple things would be if we Kould get rid of a whole slew of words?

While we are at it, we Kould reKlaim some words that have been distorted over the years.

haKker/KraKker would go back to not being used freely by the Klueless as if they were the same.
The theme song for the Flintstones would no longer be Konfused with a gay anthem.
We would never have to listen to someone say “shizzle” again!

Tell me a “ch” word you feel you Kan’t get along without!

B-)

Besides, it is too late. #21 has already been approved!

What would everything taste like

In reply to easy

if there is no CHicken?

But no longer would anyone ask

In reply to What would everything taste like

what kame first?

( still would have hens and rosters! ;\ )

You kan tell?!

In reply to But no longer would anyone ask

Just by taste you kan tell the differense between a hen and a rooster?!

EVERYONE knows

In reply to You kan tell?!

that females have niser breasts than males do! Or are you a “leg” man? :0 (not that there is anything WRONG with that….. ;\ )

Honestly

In reply to You kan tell?!

I just don’t have the perspektive…

*kluk*

Hen or rooster

In reply to You kan tell?!

In L.A. it’s all sheeken

phish ;-)

In reply to What would everything taste like

go figer

uh… well ONE.

In reply to easy

Well, if I don’t get my next CHeck, what’s the bloody point? (Otherwise, I’m 100% behind ya yer Majesty !!)

The Alphabet Reformed

In reply to #21

For example, that useless letter “c” would be dropped to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which “c” would be retained would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later. Next we reform “w” spelling, so that “which” and “one” would take the same konsonant, might well abolish “y” replasing it with “i” , might fiks the “g/j” anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue with doing awai with useless double konsonants, and so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. It wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x” — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivli.
Fainali, xen orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

OFFwith his head! Kries the Cween!

In reply to The Alphabet Reformed

You were OK until you messed with the W and which and one. I am One Writer. I’ve already rebelled to be Cween so that I am the only One that the forbidden letter can be used in addressing. (That’s about as Klear as mud!) Cween Won, though, after some thought, does have a lovely ring to it. Perhaps I will only send you to the bar in the dundgeon!

Ummmm… yeah….

In reply to The Alphabet Reformed

Put the crack pipe down…

xud hev hed a kofe spu warning

In reply to The Alphabet Reformed

bkawse I did!

I have an issue with the supermodels…

In reply to But Sire

…can I substitute Chippendales?

Well, I suppose I can always use them for housework… come to think of it, Chippendales make me kind of nervous anyway, they seem abnormally… oily….

Supermodels

In reply to I have an issue with the supermodels…

It didn’t specifiy the sex of the supermodel…

*laugh* You know…

In reply to Supermodels

… the “swimsuit issues” always seem pretty exclusive of type. ^_^

that is because

In reply to *laugh* You know…

guys are pigs and will pay women for the ability to view them, in various stages of disrobe….. :0
]:)
Women on the other hand, know about male models but don’t get as worked up over pictures as the guys. Hense, more “girlie” mags out there. B-)

Even mags like playgirl have at least half the viewers being “men”. Well, male anyways. eeewwwwwww! :0

Did I hear

In reply to that is because

a sheep cry? EEEWWWWEEE

Kareful what you wish for

In reply to I have an issue with the supermodels…

as you pointed out, how good a job of Kleaning do you think oily guys are going to do?

Note: There are MALE models as well. ;\ Haven’t you ever seen Zoolander? :0 Help yourself!

Edited to remove an offensive letter!

No doubt

In reply to I have an issue with the supermodels…

Theyre not real anyway. We could use them instead of rats for testing things like McDonalds food and Anti-Static devices!

Palace intrigue so soon

In reply to But Sire

JD, you call Ciderick “sire” and seem to pledge support, then call for the elimination of a letter used twice in his name. Do you really think that he won’t see your plot. My advice to you is to flee from Ciderovia while still wearing your head.

When you form the new nation of JayDeeistan, you’ll have to raise a Rupublican Guard-type of security force to protect yourself.

But rebellion always Komes

In reply to Palace intrigue so soon

from within the trusted Kounsel!

He will never even see it Koming! ]:)

There will always be a plase amung my advisors for one who is pure! ;\
[i]
(just don’t kall me “Brutis” as I stab him! :p )

JDKlyde

In reply to But rebellion always Komes

A place among your advisors for one who is pure….

and a place for 50-100 who are impure, right? 😀

only 100?

In reply to JDKlyde

I have plenty of room for the impure! ]:)

As for the ID, I saw that Koming and it is alright because it IS a “K” IRL. the “klyde” is a niKkname I had growing up. All part of that obskure internet personality!

Chickenly Cnave, consider yourself challenged.

In reply to But rebellion always Komes

The letter C is useful for me. No C, No C word (I don’t say it often but when I do I enjoy it).

However – saying that, I am allowed to use it & so are my advisors, anyone else will get it big time.

I repent!

In reply to Chickenly Cnave, consider yourself challenged.

(although KNAVE is not spelled with THAT letter….) :0

I do admit there were times THAT word following the word “dumb” DID kome in quite handy with the ex wife! ;\

Please don’t make me keep the Frogs! 🙁

Accepted.

In reply to I repent!

But I’ve got my eye on you now.

& I really kouldn’t make you keep the frogs – that really is a kruel & unusual punishment.

hey!!!

In reply to I repent!

don’t throw perfektly good food out.
frog legs is good eating.
tastes like breasts. ]:)

don’t you mean

In reply to hey!!!

hens? ;\

No, I guess you didn’t! ]:)

It’s about time.

In reply to But Sire

“#19 Four day weeks.”

ahem… Shouldn’t that be ‘week[b]end[/b]s’?

What is this light of day you speak of?

In reply to But Sire

Tell me more, I’ve heard rumors but…

Girl Geek rules

In reply to But Sire

George Clooney and Vin Diesel will be my personal love slaves…

Which translates to

In reply to Girl Geek rules

They will do your cooking and cleaning….. :0

The problem with your premise

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

6. Anyone who is or claims to be a politician will be dragged out & shot.

If you took over the world, you would be by definition a politician, as politics is nothing more or less than “the art or science of governing”. By laying out these rules, you have proposed a structure for world governence. So you either call yourself a hypocrite or have yourself shot.

Awaiting your reply.

James

It’s my planet now!

In reply to The problem with your premise

So I can be a hypocrite if I want.

A long standing tradition

In reply to It’s my planet now!

of having separate rules for the minions than for the ruling klass! B-)

Real James says it like there is some problem here? 😀

Don’t forget to take out the lawyers next, followed by telemarketers and insuranse sales people! Oh, the world would be so much niser!

Maybe it is the SHOT part that gets him? He IS a tree hugger, after all. Maybe if we throw up a gallows it would be more to his liking? B-)

Off the Subject, But…

In reply to A long standing tradition

Subject: History Lesson
This is actually pretty interesting…
The history of the middle finger
Well, now……here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.
Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers,
Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”).
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!
Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as “giving the bird.”
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
My Dad sent me this. Hes getting a bit more savvy every day!

And yew thought yew knew everything!

Ahem… Sorry, but,

In reply to Off the Subject, But…

The one-fingered salute is more American than British although it goes back before us both. The English version is the first and second fingers of the hand forming a ‘V’. With the palm towards the other party, it is the “Churchill Victory salute” and OK and with the palm towards onself it is the equivalent of the digitus impudicus (f’ck off). The myth is still told the same as – in the English version – these were the fingers supposedly to be cut off. Alas, it’s a myth as well. The French knights would not have bothered with any but English knights – fellow aristocrats – and would have butchered any captured English peasants immediately, archers or not.

The “digit” is simply a phallic reference and “Giving the bird” is purely American – simply not used except by people who watch too much Friends and other imported stuff.

As for the word in question, it’s Low German and came into the language around seven hundred years ago from Holland. Pluck is from Latin. Anyway, you pluck the string and not the bow itself.

As for Agincourt, the mud won it for us. If a French knight got knocked off his horse or his horse was shot out from under him then he was stuck until one of the English unarmoured archers came and stuck a cleaver in him or captured him for ransom if he was lucky.

“IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!”

Now, that [b]is[/b] true!

Neil 😀

Before I read any more

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

of this post I want you to know that I totally agree with you (there’s money in this for me, right?) You are the boss (how much money?) I will obey ( it had better be one huge payKeck- pieSe of paper with an amount written on it for me signed by you!)

Your willing (for a priSe) subjeKt (and even prediKate if the priSe is right),

“one” (beKause you are the only one allowed to be amazing and I won’t have to be a writer beKause there’s money in this!)

Edit:@#!*@ first time I make a deSent post and then I read what the new ruler of FranSe said and I had to edit out the aKursed letters!

A Flogging for this one!

In reply to Before I read any more

She used the akkursed letter in the sekond line of her post! We must make an example of her, or there will soon be other “free thinkers” that feel they kan use THAT letter as they see fit!

Assume the position! ]:) [i] (jaqui, need to borrow whip #4 please!)

OH! :(

In reply to A Flogging for this one!

Sh*T! A flogging! (This Kan’t be worth the pay!)

Jaqui? Sweety? Baby? Could you tell him that whip #4 is broken and you only have Kooked pasta to work with?

Position? Wait! Let me put on my sneakers, first. (Runners take your positions!) Let me tell you, as soon as I hear the first snap…I’m out of here…setting a new world reKord for the 10 seKond mile!

Repeat offenders get #9

In reply to OH! :(

Some people never learn!

Oh yeah, used to be long distanse runner, so running will only add to the rush of the hunt! ]:)

Use your imagination

In reply to Repeat offenders get #9

JD, you’re an evil minion now – use your sense of Bond villains to better your punishments.

Anyone know where I get the sharks with laser beams?

(No letter C was used in the making of this reply – apart from that one)

Hmmm…

In reply to Use your imagination

“Anyone know where I get the sharks with laser beams?”

Try Kontakting the AKLU or KontaKting Jessie Jakkson direktly. There you’ll find plenty of sharks with laser beams.

Exonorated!

In reply to A Flogging for this one!

http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=8&threadID=193371&messageID=1996039

http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=8&threadID=193371&start=0

So where’s my paycheck??? ROFL

no

In reply to A Flogging for this one!

use #27, it kreates mukh niker welts.

Wadda Ya mean…No!

In reply to no

I proved my Kase! I’m innocent I tell you! (Number 27, huh? Welts? You think Knet wants a KomiK over there?)

Guilty as Kharged

In reply to Wadda Ya mean…No!

the judgement stands, and I will follow the sage advise of Master Jaqui in this matter! #27 it shall be! ]:)

I present my Kase!

In reply to Guilty as Kharged

The letter C is useful for me. No C, No C word (I don’t say it often but when I do I enjoy it).

However – saying that, I am allowed to use it & so are my advisors, anyone else will get it big time.

10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.

I have agreed. I am therefore an advisor. I Kan use the Umentionable Letter if I Khoose to.

BUT I HAVEN”T BEEN PAID!!

I’m setting up a Kool-Aid stand if this keeps up!
How’s I gonna get my nails done if I don’t get paid?

tell me my dear

In reply to I present my Kase!

are YOU really going to say the “C” word? :0 oh my, that is so hot! ]:) I didn’t think you had that in you? ;\

B-)

NOTE: when you quote someone, you are suppose to quote them. Italiks helps too. Example:

[i]”10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.”[/i]

C orrection…Do you C that?

In reply to I present my Kase!

“10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.”

“The letter C is useful for me. No C, No C word (I don’t say it often but when I do I enjoy it).

However – saying that, I am allowed to use it & so are my advisors, anyone else will get it big time.”

I have deClared myself CWEEN ONE!

Calling together a small band of rebels!!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

I’m calling for an undergroung band of rebels. I’m not talking like the Star Wars rebels, I’m thinking more along the lines of the Woody Allen-type like in Sleeper. Only no Orgasmatron, we’re too pure of heart.

I really don’t have any issue with Ciderick’s rules other than Kiera Knightly will become my girlfriend (if my wife OK’s that). It’s just the elimination of “C” and “Ph” that he’s been talked into by the “puppetmaster” That rule will make a bunch of Sesame Street episode obsolete, and we can’t have that.

Oh, and jck’s the beer master. If he ever shows up around here again.

This thing isn’t over until we say it’s over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? (etc., etc.)NOW, WHO’S WITH ME……YAAAAAAAA!!!!!

How’s the pay?

In reply to Calling together a small band of rebels!!

Those Krazy guys are trumping up Kharges against me.
I was loyal. I was true.
Ah, the heck with the pay!

A woman scorned can set up her own empire! I would never make it as a peasant.

(A queen is born!)

Meihem In Ce Klasrum

In reply to Calling together a small band of rebels!!

Way back in 1946 Dolan Edwards wrote “Mayhem in the Classroom” or ” Meihem In Ce Klasrum” for Astounding Science Fiction Magazine. How to change the English language and make it logical. Still a very funny read to this day.

Meihem In Ce Klasrum – Dolton Edwards

http://www.ecphorizer.com/Articles1/meiheminceklasru.html

http://www.rajeun.net/index4.html

Prepare for the rebellion!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

I’ll personally ship Guy Faulk masks to all people who can’t understand how to defrag their hard drive, or where to find that attachment once they close their email.

As a techie, you have to understand this is nothing personal about your evil rules, simply part of my daily requirement to rebel, to get ticked off at those who have no bumperstickers (do they have NO opinions?) and my tendencies to join the ‘rebel faction’.

(and all the all ready ticked off previous mac users will join me. Those whose beloved PCs are now space junk, a hazard to the space station. tho maybe we could create an orbiting platform of creativity where the mac users could stay, separate but equal 🙂

That jardinier and apotheon thing would appease the masses tho, if you substitute a coliseum type arena where they would duke it out verbally, or with giant baseball stadium sized jumbo trons to show their posts.

Audience members would have electronic thumbs-up or thumbs-down buttons they could use after any post, and the results would determine the winners. No more infinite posting once the audience decided they didn’t like you.

(and following Gladiator movie, the winner of these debates could challenge the emperor to become evil lord-of-all! 🙂

Ciderick, I am with you

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Especially if I can have Catherine Bell and Jolene Blalock. MMMM Nice.

Also, I don’t drink because people were tried of me using their gutter for a bed. SO, can we include DR. Pepper in as free as well.

Additionally, I would add to the rules, force MS to use a Document formatting standard. That way documents can be interchangable.

Just some suggestions.

faradhi

In reply to Ciderick, I am with you

see if you can ask him where my payKHek is…OK? Also, if you don’t get him to agree to that Dr. Pepper, I’m gonna’ be stuK with only water to drink!

I’m weakening here, faradhi! It’s tough enough for me to edit when I spell things 1/2 right! This K stuff is doing me in!

I’m only in this thing for the money! Have I mentioned that yet?

I don’t like this K stuff either

In reply to faradhi

So I am just going to avoid all words with C in it. 🙂

I am not sure how easy that will be but what the …
never mind, That is too hard as well, I guess I will be stukk with the K as well.

As soon as I kan I will ask about your money.

We’ll find out if he’s an equal opportunity ruler

In reply to I don’t like this K stuff either

It’s like any job I’ve had. So far I have toyed with leaving, but I’m stuK waiting to see if I’m gonna’ get paid! Here I am a loyal subjeKt who has just missed being flogged!

‘You know of any other planets that have openings for Dr. Pepper people? I’ve got a feelin’ this one’s going to pot any time now.

I don’t care about Khipendales either. Maybe I ought to just see if there are going to be any SeramiKs Klasses!

Who would have thought it? I’m too DULL to be a geek!
ROFL. Ah..it’s come to this.

Slave request!

In reply to Ciderick, I am with you

“Especially if I can have Catherine Bell and Jolene Blalock. MMMM Nice.”

I want to put in a request for Catherine Zeta-Jones (or would that be Katherine Zeta-Jones?) and a future first round draft choice!

And might I have Australia for my evil domain?

Sorry about Australia

In reply to Slave request!

But that kurrently falls under MY evil dominion. But I’ll give you New Zealand and with my Kloning Khamber all slave requests kan be fulfilled.

Hmm..

In reply to Sorry about Australia

New Zealand and a Kloning Khamber. I don’t think so. My kind of luk all my klones would go Baaaah! It would also be a trade down. Kind of like going from an ocean liner to a row boat. Now if you threw something like, say Germany, (home of REAL beer), we might have the beginnings of negoiations.

I believe it is up to His Illustrous Magnificance, Kink Cidderick (the only person allowed to use the forbidden letter, let alone have it as part of his glorious name) to parkel out territories to his devoted minions.

Besides I called dibs first!

I do have a suggestion on how we might resolve this dispute, a duel. Your choice: rubber khikkens or bad puns at ten pakes. (Loser gets Washington, D.C.)

Good Sir, your challenge is accepted

In reply to Hmm..

Giant Lasers at dawn.

The question is…

In reply to Good Sir, your challenge is accepted

… whose dawn are we using? (In the meantime I’ll polish up my Giant Reflektive Mirror made of several thousand AOL disks)

Having lived and worked in Washington for a number of years, I am motivated NOT to go bak there.

new zealand

In reply to Sorry about Australia

An aussie give us something back,that would be a record,,All u do is flog our stuff and call it yours..You have more slaves than us,so maybe you should rule from here.the beer is better and just for u we have more sheep. Baaaa means no

Well how about this for a Compromise

In reply to new zealand

We’ll leave everything New Zealand alone including your Prime Minister if you stop the flow of Kiwi’s to AU and better still take all the Kiwi’s here home again particularly those shearers with their [B]WIDE COMBS.[/B] ;\

We’ll even set the CSIRO to work to make a solution to allow the NZ people to build structures on all your [b]Boiling Mud[/b] so that you have enough Land Mass to house all the people and maintain your [b]Sheep Population.[/b] Well even start exporting to you at cost Wellington Boots so you can stuff the sheep’s rear legs down them to stop them kicking and cans of [b]Red Paint[/b] so you can mark out the sheep that kick. :p

Col ]:)

compromise

In reply to Well how about this for a Compromise

You are right Hal, our biggest export is people to Aussie, mind, it ebbs and flows ,depending on economic climate.

If NZ is off the table

In reply to Well how about this for a Compromise

Then I seriously want Germany as the province that I am governing in the Name of Our Glorious Kink Ciderick, with a Winter Palace in Tahiti. Once I am installed I will take on the task of restoring the Castle Frankenstein (yes, such a place does exist, albeit, as a ruin,) and use that as my Base of Operations to oppress the peasantry in Our Glorious Kink’s Mighty and Magnificent Name.

I would also be willing, for a nominal consideration, to annex the Netherlands and Denmark to bring those miscreants into line and show them the Wisdom and Mercy of Our Good Kink!

I never thought being evil would feel so good!

Uf NZ is available I will take it and

In reply to new zealand

make a fortune selling tickets to the places where they shot Lord of the Rings and Xena.

Failing that I want India – think about all those cuties who play extras in the Bollywood movies, and they can sing and dance too.

OK CIDERICK! I C C C C HALLENGE YOU!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

A woman scorned. No pay? No play. (It’s the 1st law of this world. I know. We women made it!)

I am now CWEEN ONE!! That’s spelled with a C because you are CHeap and I didn’t get paid…not only that, I got threatened with a whip! And I was loyal. (I even did the dishes when you weren’t looking.)
That’s it. No more Cooking. No More Cleaning!
Put away that beer!

(See? I know how to do this stuff. I watch the movies!)

I’ve unionized the Super Models. (But most of them are so ditzy, they’re all at the hairstylist.)

You want to fight dirty? I gave them all bags of donuts and ordered CHocolate CHeese Cake. Give them a week! They were hungry. I figure it will only take a week to make pot bellied Amazons out of them. (No female is allowed to be thinner than the CWeen!) They love my rules. CHocolate for all of the ladies!

I would pay you but…

In reply to OK CIDERICK! I C C C C HALLENGE YOU!

… I haven’t taken over the world yet.

& another thing – I leave you lot alone for a day & already my supposedly loyal minions are turning against me.

I guess it’s just lonely at the top ‘sniff’

OK Kink KideriKk

In reply to I would pay you but…

I will Konsider you proposition (that WAS a proposition, right?) but ONLY if I get to be CWEEN!!
Any good Khess player knows that the Cween protekts her king (in your kase kink).

My ladies, though, want a war. They are tikkled pink having praktiked on one another. (Sugar does strange things to women)

So here it is Kink KideriKk:

1. I will be deklared Cween of the world.
2. My ladies will be kept in constant supply of KhoKolate.
3. My knights farahi and Ernest will be given the frankhise on Dr. Pepper and Big Makorama.
4. Any imbibing of alkoholik beverages will okkur on your side of the Kastle, and any of my ladies who are so inKlined will be offered their own keg or Khoice of the top shelf.
a. All mirrors will be covered in the lady’s rest rooms while the ladies are Konsuming beverages.
b. Drunken ladies will be dried out and sent to the hair stylist before they return to my side of the Kastle.
6. I will be called SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) by all male subjekts. (You may call me Cweenie)Female subjekts will call me as they please. (I am here to serve them.)
7. Kursing is to be Konfined to the dungeon, where a pool table and bar are set up.
8. Giggling will automatikly silenke any sugjekt who gets too serious. (My ladies exkell at that.)

Other than that whatever you want to do to Franke etc. is up to you. Oh! one more thing!
9. My ladies do not go to war for anyone on Tuesday or Friday. (That’s when they get their hair and nails done and I Kouldn’t get them all to agree on the same day!)

Never argue with a Jersey girl…

In reply to OK Kink KideriKk

Wouldn’t you be happier just owning Denmark?

If you’re really good I will throw in the Karibbean

“Balls!” cried the Cween

In reply to Never argue with a Jersey girl…

“If I had to, I’d be King!”
The King laughed because he had to.
The Cween cried because she wanted to.

That said…What! I didn’t ask for the moon here, Honey. (I’ll let you have that in a property settlement if this doesn’t work out.)

Jersey Girls don’t cry.
We tend to get what we want.
Compromise is a city in Texas, I think I KNOW it’s not in Jersey! 😀

Cween or war. Either way you’ll wind up tickled to death.

I told you the maintenance cost would be high

In reply to I would pay you but…

If you get good minions they all aspire to greater things and bad minions never really get things done. While truely evil minions don’t seek your job and do get things done; however, they are usually too busy having fun while being evil to stop and do what you want done immediately you say to.

& another thing…

In reply to OK CIDERICK! I C C C C HALLENGE YOU!

Looking through your posts, your methods are far too deliciously kinky to allow you to think of defecting. I need more people who think like you.

Why bother it is not worth the cost of doing

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

taking over let alone the maintenance cost in lost sleep and gaming time due to keeping fools under control.

that’s true

In reply to Why bother it is not worth the cost of doing

but the answer is exekution of the fools
gotta klean the gene pool somehow.

Kleaning the gene pool

In reply to that’s true

How about just removing the laws that protekt people from themselves.

Like seatbelt laws, helmet laws, those instruktions on the hair dryers that say dont use in tub, etK.

YES!!!!

In reply to Kleaning the gene pool

I like that one – natural selektion. Faradhi – you rock…

BTW – New York will be mandatory inside smoking – mess with my pleasures & you gonna pay!

Ernest…

In reply to Why bother it is not worth the cost of doing

Wait’ll these guys see my hugging machines. I’ve got a water balloon launCHer being assembled as we speak. 😀 As Cween I intend to “fight” MY way! I’m gonna tie Captives up with red liCorice and stuff Cotton Candy in their mouths. By the time they Chew their way free, the sugar high may bring them over to my way of thinking!

ROFL (Sometimes ya just gotta do somethin’ crazy to keep from goin’ crazy. I’m Zany, but not yet Certifiable.)

I hope you do know that all the world is crazy

In reply to Ernest…

except you and me, and sometimes, lately, I am beginning to wonder about you.

The say that they had some really wicked hugging machines in the middle ages – called the Iron Maiden, she literally hugged you to death.

I do not know what a “water balloon launC” is but whatever you can send ‘her’ my way and as any other hers that you have extra. I will return any that do not meet quality assurance testing.

Water Balloon launcher ROFL

In reply to I hope you do know that all the world is crazy

I just capitalized the C to revolt and get a good war going! ROFL I’m planning on recruiting a battallion of bored housewives to be my feather duster patrol!
(I’m into non-violent violence!) Perhaps they can tickle some of the enemy to death!
Wait’ll you see my butterfly air support!

(think sleep, Beth…it’s time to go to sleep!)

Feather duster patrol – ooh how kinky

In reply to Water Balloon launcher ROFL

seriously though – can you get real feather dusters still. I tried to get one recently and none of the towns or cities had them, even tried Canberra a 2.5 hour drive away. All they had was fake nylon was that had no where near the tickle factor of the real jobs.

If your people are using real feather, feather dusters can I volunteer to be their practice dummy for them to practice tickling on. Yes I am a masochist – would I be in this industry is I wasn’t?

BTW I checked Canberra while there on other business, I ain’t so stupid as to drive that far just for a duster.

Two words…

In reply to Feather duster patrol – ooh how kinky

E Bay

All Macs to be spaced – get real I NEED my Big Mac

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

I must have a Big Mac at least once a week – I can’t help it I am an addict – sorry got to run and get a Big Mac, long trip the nearest Maccas is 40 kilometres away in South Gundagai

A Mac Attack!

In reply to All Macs to be spaced – get real I NEED my Big Mac

WOW! The “battle”has begun! ROFL

Big Macs

In reply to A Mac Attack!

The big macs can stay (renamed Big MaK to go along with faithful advisor JDs rekkomendations) but they will no longer be made of ar*eholes & eyelids – French people will now be the filling – after all – I need to help JD get rid of them.

But you need the French people

In reply to Big Macs

to make the champagne and camembert for the formal dinners. You only need to cull them back a bit and retrain the rest.

More from the evil researkh dept.

In reply to But you need the French people

To aid in the spacing of Mac?s I have invented an ingenious weapons to accomplish this. The “Mac Driver” which used high powered magnets to propel the infernal machines into space.

Now for kulling the Frenkh, I propose using an Amerikan built “Frenkh Fryer”. This would serve a double purpose of providing food for the unwitting minions.

Ohh no – the union problems

In reply to More from the evil researkh dept.

the Chip Monks are not allowed to use Amerikan Frenkh Fryers

What will you call it – May I suggest the

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Technical Executive Command Hierachy World or TECH World

I was thinking of ‘Dave’

In reply to What will you call it – May I suggest the

… but that works too. Apart from the fact that there is no hierachy – just me’n’the minions.

Even that is a hierachy but seriously

In reply to I was thinking of ‘Dave’

you should have levels of authority within the minions. You could also use the word Heaven in place of Hierachy.

BTW Are you getting any mions from the village of Minion in the UK, I think it is in Suffolk somewhere.

latest amendment

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Thursdays shall become “clothing optional”, provided you are cute! ]:)

This shall be followed by “no panties Fridays”.

Don’t think your up to it? With how much beer AND scotch I will be providing, I am sure you will be able to manage! :^0

[i]
( anyone that has seen the blowup of my avitar knows that this does not include me either! ;\ )

Now this sounds like a sensible amendment.

In reply to latest amendment

It could make work more interesting.

Ciderick’s Manifesto

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Sounds interesting, except for making Windows an open source program.

BAH

In reply to Ciderick’s Manifesto

I would never sully OSS with windows.

“You have failed me for the last time”

Now for my title, should I go for a simple “Lord MJ” or a more extravagant “Supreme Judicator MJ” but of course the traditional “DR MJ” is not to be overlooked.

Count me in.

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Count me in.
I think it will be cool to have law that force users to kneel before geeks and kiss our shoes before speaking to us 😛

But there’s no sign of GG

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Has anyone noticed that GadgetGirl has not made a response to the posted “new rules”? Is she ignoring the apparent ch ch change in the new monarch? Is she being rebellious? GG please respond hellllp.

On vacation

In reply to But there’s no sign of GG

from US! (work too) ;\

Expect her to be back next week, with a vengence! ]:) (after she catches up her workload from being gone for all this time!)

Yes, I miss her too. 🙁

GG

In reply to But there’s no sign of GG

Has time in grade here. I will gladly allow her to be Cween and will hold the postion open for her! Somebody’s gotta be Cween!!!

Actually

In reply to GG

she already has the crown. Duely appointed months ago.

But you forgot the KING GEEK

In reply to But there’s no sign of GG

Several months ago Beth appointed these positions after asking for nominations from the unruly unwashed masses here at TR.

She came up with BFilmFan as [b]King Geek[/b] and Gadget Girl as [b]Queen Geek.[/b]

The King Geek being the humble person that he is has not appeared since or at least only appeared very little and never accepted the position most likely because he comes from the US and still remembers the war that was fought by his parents to get rid of the [b]Terrible British Crown and it’s Taxes![/b] :^0

GG on the other hand feels right at home with being crowned Queen Geek and is currently on so called Holidays to punish one of her subjects who stood her up and is now reaping the wrath of the Queen. If she is in a magnanimous mood Neil just might live to remember the meeting and continually cower behind that couch in an attempt to hide or he might not survive the punishment, but either way he’ll never be the Same Neil again. 😀

Col ]:)

Duh?

In reply to But you forgot the KING GEEK

This means then that the Kink isn’t the Kink? And he won’t be ruling the world? And I don’t get to have my ladies get their nails and hair done?
NEVER would I dethrone another woman of her rightful place! (But I’ve been known to pull a few guys off the toilet in my day!)
Another question…What am I supposed to do with all of these butterflies and feather dusters? Geesh!

He lied to me! Woe is me! He was another pretender to the throne! This is worse than a bad hair day!!

Try this link

In reply to Duh?

http://tinyurl.com/nf9lu

As I’m already on [b]Thin Ice[/b] that I can now hear cracking under my feet I’m not saying another word. :^0

Col ]:)

Really I’m maintaining [b]Plausible Denial[/b] to remain safe. :p

Thanks, Hal

In reply to Try this link

I followed one link after another. I sure hope there won’t be a test after this! LOL. “The Geneology Of Tech Republic.” What I did find out is that I AM a geek. (That was a neat chart!)

Actually TR had a contest

In reply to Thanks, Hal

Several Years ago to find the [b]Top Geek.[/b] While I made the top 10 I was most likely the tenth as I was the straightest one there. I didn’t have my entire house wired with LAN connections so I could sit in the toilet and read my NB. That guy was truly freaky. :^0

But I got a Cute little GIF image that I used to use on all my e-mail that read [b]Top Geek Finalist[/b] it was really Nifty but I had to stop using it when someones child made a TR account with a Similar name to mine and posted something about their parents company’s business that was not at all helpful. 🙁 But I did get a laugh when the [b]Hot Blooded Spanish female owner Realized just how seriously I was taking things and wanted to call in the Federal Police.[/b] I don’t think that she wanted her son jailed and he had such good prospects in the Army which would have been shoot to hell I believe that he’s now in Iraq being shot at instead. 😀

I posted it here along with a Desktop theme that I used quite a lot.

http://tinyurl.com/h89r5

Enjoy :p

Col ]:)

I’ll let you study first and post the test is a couple of weeks time. :^0

oh, how we forget

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Here, a four day running diskussion, and not a single mention of Twinkies (the eatin’ kind; the other kind has been given fair shrift). Should be part of the manifesto (e.g. 23. Free Twinkies, 24. More free Twinkies …

I like your smile

In reply to oh, how we forget

and those ears do me in! So I will speak to the Kink on your behalf. You drive me MAD!

Hey! Kink!

In reply to I like your smile

We have a winner here! This guy has some great ideas!
A Twinkiless Kinkdom is no Kinkdom at all!

#12

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

All Macs were already launched into space…but no one noticed.

Read This My Friend

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

A research paper I am writing which addresses your question(s). http://cliffsview.foliolive.com

Click on composition and photographs to enter page.

My humble suggestions

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Your highness if I can to add my humble suggestions:?
Latest Hardware for free
Copyright out of low
Making Virus, Spyware, Spam end so on = capital sentence

BEER- BEER DID I HEAR FREE BEER

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Beer is good. Cold Natural please and I will follow.

beer

In reply to BEER- BEER DID I HEAR FREE BEER

i dont drink much any more ..I spill most of it

Hey!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Alright, great idea, but the 64 was a great computer in its day! I learned a lot on it. Tho Ive got to admit that it would be easier than beating them with a Mac!

How could you beat….

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Up a perfectly good C64 with some stupid end user? I am appaled at the thought 😀

You use the Monitor!

In reply to How could you beat….

And keep the perfectly good C 64 intact all you have to do is make sure that you’ve first disconnected the RF Feed to the Monitor and once it’s killed off the end user you then have the perfect excuse to splash out on a 62″ Plasma for the C64.

[b]Really it’s simple.[/b] 😀

Col ]:)

Ahhh, It all makes sense now…

In reply to You use the Monitor!

Of course! I think that if tried to lift it up to drop on someone, I think *I’d* be the one regretting it. TV sets in the 1980’s were VERY heavy 😀

When someone upsets you enough

In reply to Ahhh, It all makes sense now…

It’s amazing what you can do in the [b]Heat of the Moment[/b] and not hurt yourself. 😉

Once an apprentice really got under my skin and I picked up a V8 engine and threw it at him. After that [b]No One[/b] was brave enough to upset me again. :^0

I would have tried something smaller but it was the only thing handy at the time. Besides most of the old C 64’s or VIC 20’s where hitched up to the small portable TV sets of the day like the emergency TV set to be used when the main one broke down and you just had to finish watching the game that was on when the other TV broke. :0

Col ]:)

rofl

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

I would make some major changes to this. jedi is a religion non-geeks. Christianity is so much better, and beer is bad for the brain cells. To see how to be a real geek goto
http://www.cleanfunnyjoke.com/index.php?b=50&t=6755&start=0 as written by me pastageek. to see why Chritianity is so much better and scintificly sound goto http://www.drdino.com . And eat more chicken.

Agree

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Ok, I agree with you. When is my first paycheck…?

amendment

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Love the manifesto!
-All countries joined under IT
-Stupidity outlawed
-Politics obsolete
-IT is communication; you can talk about us but you can’t talk without us.

May I humbly request a post in your administration? Maybe Hawaii.

Sorry it’s not going to work out

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

First read the following to get all calm

[i]Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career; however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are borne of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.[/i]

[b]Now that you are all relaxed and happy look at this the decision has already been made and by someone you don’t dare argue with.[/b]

http://tinyurl.com/nf9lu

Col ]:)

For your own safety stop this idea [b]IMMEDIATELY! Whatever else you do NEVER Argue with Beth on this one![/b] :p

Don’t believe me on this one Ask JD and CO if it would be a good idea to try to overturn the decision that’s already been made. :^0

What is this garbage?!

In reply to Sorry it’s not going to work out

I am not a child of the Universe and to think that God is whatever you concieve of him to be is sheer egotism of the falliable human thought. The universe is not a place ruled by opinion but rather the fact of God’s word John 1:1-5 KJV. That was not very relaxing.

I see nothing

In reply to What is this garbage?!

in Desiderata that John wouldn’t like. Try reading it again. The word universe is not capitalized in the piece. Jesus, Himself, told us to be as children if we were to learn and to please God. I don’t know any one person who can comprehend all of God, so we each have to have our own personal concept of God. What human mind is large enough to comprehend all? In sharing our individual concepts we have a chance to help one another’s understanding improve. The peace that passes all understanding is spoken about in the Bible you referred to. I hope it descends on you so that you can enjoy this beautiful piece of writing.
😡
Beth (OAW…not the Beth Hal is referring to)

edit: to chage “out” to “our”

Understanding should indeed improve but

In reply to I see nothing

He said to be as little children, humble, but not childre of the Universe. I tend to capitalize “Universe” because that is grammaticaly correct since it is a place. If our undrstanding is to improve then we can’t rely on our own human made concepts of God. They will ineveitably conflict. That is why I choose to stick to the Bible and the blessing of science.

Grammar, spelling.

In reply to What is this garbage?!

Would carry more weight if contributor had learned the simple, primary-school rule: “i before e, except after c.”

Semi-literates should not be allowed to use words like “garbage” to describe the postings of their more literate fellows.

I know that rule

In reply to Grammar, spelling.

I never said that I was perfect at it. If you are calling me simi-literate, cas194, I have news for you, but try to guess.

Well I’m REALLY IMPRESSED

In reply to I know that rule

So Desiderata by Maxwell Erhman is so [b]Anti Christan[/b] is it? Funny thing is that for many years it was thought to have an unknown writer who was supposed to be a [b]Church of England Deacon.[/b] It was embraced by many in the Christian Church as being a very peaceful and deep writing that expounded everything that is good about Christianity.

Maybe you should be looking at your version of Christianity if you are so [b]UPTIGHT[/b] that anything not directly written in your holy book is [b]ANTICHRIST![/b]

[b][i]Anyway you missed the entire point of the post the King Geek and Queen Geek have already been Crowned by someone who you dare not argue with if you value your life.[/b][/i] 😉

Or as I would say using AU adjectives [b]UN BLOODY BELIEVABLE[/b] where you bitten and infected by a foaming at the mouth [b]Born Again Christian[/b] who’s belief is so tight that anything not directly stated in the bible is [b]Blasphemy?[/b] I have been told that the only cure for that [b]Infection is DEATH[/b] but it comes quickly after the infection is obtained and it’s even a faster death than that caused by [b]HIV.[/b] :p

Col :p

Don’t be impressed

In reply to Well I’m REALLY IMPRESSED

I will argue with anybody and I value my beliefs more than my life. I know that it may sound strange to you, but as far as my version of Christianity you may mean what my personal or what data is currently in my head.

I constantly question myself to see if I am right with God. If my thoughts are incorrect they must be scraped! Error is a bad thing. (See Matthew 5:48)

As far as ohter religions, they lack much. Read the Romans Road. It talkes of salvation.
Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God:”
Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that wihile we were yet sinners,
Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:12, “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin,
and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.”
Romans 10:13, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

God’s morals are tough but fair and he is also the God that executes judgement as well as love.

Well since you value your beliefs so highly

In reply to Don’t be impressed

The offer for you to be a sacrifice still stands. :^0

It’s so really hard to find people willing to be sacrifices but as you claim to value you Belief more than your Life you fit the bill nicely. But just so you fully understand we use a stone knife that isn’t the slightest bit sharp and cut your heart out so the last thing that you see is your still beating heart just before you slip into unconscious and then death, or maybe the [b]Grin on my face.[/b] :p

I now see that the Catholics had a very good reason to excommunicate any person who had a Bible as they where unable to properly interpret it and this lead many people astray because they keep reading the wrong things into what has been printed in the Bible as they took it Literally and not Figuratively which requires years of Theologically Study to understand the difference. 😉

What you have to remember though I very much doubt that you even come close to understanding this is that the Bible as you know it today was complied by the Roman Church and edited many times before the texts that you see today where arrived at. By the way don’t come up with the rubbish with me that you’ve read the original Hebrew texts as honestly they don’t exist the best that you can hope to see are copies of copies of copies mainly because the Roman Empire ordered the destruction of all Jewish Religious writings long before Constine became Emperor and believe it or not the Romans where very effective at caring out the wishes of their Senate and Emperor. What the Church of Rome has is at best texts that where written down from Oral teachings several hundred years after the event hence the different accounts in the Gospels and other inconsistencies within the writings contained in the modern day bible. :0

If you where really serious about your Beliefs you would be studding the Scrolls found in Egypt several decades ago or at least what remains of them [b]Those that where not destroyed when used to light fires with by the farmer who found them.[/b] and not basing your entire beliefs upon what at best is nothing more than a Bastardization of the original meaning to suit the winners own ends. 😐

There is at least one very learned Scholar who visits here who can not only read the original Hebrew but at the same time understand it in the way it was written at the time instead of attempting to put todays meaning upon texts that where penned about 1600 years ago and written in such a manner that made the Romans look like the [b]Good Guys[/b] in the death of a agitator who was attempting to free an invaded country. While she confines herself to the texts of the Old Testament which are generally speaking much older as you would know them and not the New Testament as she isn’t the slightest bit interested in them you just might find her interesting although you’re likely to be dismayed with her interpretations so instead of attempting to understand what it is that she writes you’ll just attack her as [b]Another Unbeliever[/b] not worthy of your time and effort. You poor deluded soul. 🙁

Col ]:)

Hal9000

In reply to Don’t be impressed

Who is this scholar you speak of? I never said that I read the original Hebrew texts. If I did it was a typo or you misinterpreted what I was typing (what’s new). Literal translation help give a good account of creation and a belief system even more dramtically differnt from that of the pagan religions.

Well as one of those so called PAGANS

In reply to Don’t be impressed

Why don’t you argue so strongly for the same manner that the people like Ossama Bin Laden interpret the Qua ran? 😀

You freely admit to being a fundamentalists Christian so you should at the very least show the same regard for those Fundamentalists from other Religions and accept their interpolations of their Religious Books. Ossama is perfectly OK in his interpolation just the same as you are in yours. :^0

Sorry [b]But I don’t think so![/b] :p

Actually I never alluded to the fact that you had read the original Hebrew Texts but I said that you should and read then in Context of the time that they covered. The Scholar in question goes under the Alias of [b]levannah44@[/b] AKA Gret and is unfortunately off line at the moment with a few problems that she’s attempting to work through but if you are really interested in some of her writings you can see many of them on [b]The Evolution Lie[/b] thread that has the record of being the biggest Thread in all of TR’s history. It should be easy enough to find but it takes forever to load. ?:|

Col ]:)

Hal9000 some interpretations don’t make sense

In reply to What is this garbage?!

This is more than about any person’s interpretations of a book; this is about what is actually ment in the book. The Bible is no man’s private interpretation. While I find the Koran a dispicable work of liturature, if I read it I will try my best to see what was ment in it rather than my own interpreatation.

BTW I decline the offer to be sacrifieced. It makes more sense to stay alive and bring the gospel to those who will hear it. Very often I think you are making some stuff up. Christianity as I know it came with Jesus. Also the last of the books of the Bible if my memory is correct was about 98 AD.

RULE 17 PEOPLE!!!!!

In reply to Hal9000 some interpretations don’t make sense

Fermihost, get off the pulpit – you are banned from the planet!

Damn, I may have to make religion illegal…

Ciderick YOU’RE BACK B-)

In reply to RULE 17 PEOPLE!!!!!

I thought that you had been thrown into the DUNGEON for attempting to override a decision that has already been made. :^0

Col ]:)

If you bann me I will find a way to get back on

In reply to RULE 17 PEOPLE!!!!!

You can’t make religion illegal, and besides Christianity is not a religion; it is relationship with God and the belief that you must be born again to be saved since no amount of good works can get you to Heaven.

Also note that religious aspects will always pervade exsitance. Don’t make the same mistake the soviet union did. You will only be laughed at by those who have a REAL intellect and knowledge of what is what.

Damn…

In reply to If you bann me I will find a way to get back on

I am ruler of the universe, I can do what I like – & you are still banned from the planet.

I have already been banned from 2 forums

In reply to Damn…

And I found ways to get back on, so eat more chicken and have a screaming fit with a teletype. lol

Well Femi

In reply to Damn…

I think what Ciderick is actually saying here is that you are welcome to continue to post here you’re just not allowed on this planet so you’ll need a [b]Pirate[/b] Spacecraft or better still a [b]Pirate Planet[/b] to post from. :^0

Perhaps you could get a team of Welsh Miners and get them to tunnel out Jupiter and then you can drag it closer to this planet to post from so there will not be the long time delays between pressing the send button and the message being received. :p

I didn’t see anywhere where our new [b]Self Proclaimed King[/b] has stated that you have to be several Light Years away so that by the time you get to see a post everyone has moved on to something else and by the time your reply gets posted no one remembers who you actually where but then again it his decision not mine. :0

Col ]:)
http://tinyurl.com/fz854

A Riddle…

In reply to If you bann me I will find a way to get back on

Anybody know the difference between a fanatic and a true believer?

Hint: fermihost is unlikely to figure this out anytime soon…

In my life there is not diff

In reply to A Riddle…

I am a true believer (if by that you mean fundementalist Christian) and my ways may seem fanatical. I am stranger than you and peculier in so many ways that it is funny. Over achieving and taking things to extreems of hilarity are just me. lol

OK Fermi…

In reply to A Riddle…

…you have a sense of humour – isn’t that illegal for a fundeMENTAList…

Illegal or not – it’s good to see!!!

ha ha that’s funny ciderick

In reply to If you bann me I will find a way to get back on

Of course I have a sense of humor, and it never has been in fundamentalism. I consder fundamentalism to be those who go by the Bible and its appropriate context and historical value and in Proverbs 17:22 it plainly tells us that laugheter doeth good like medicine. If you want some real humor goto http://www.cleanfunnyjoke.com/index.php . My alias there is pastageek.

Desiderata!

In reply to Sorry it’s not going to work out

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Thanks.

A Little Late Joining the Party but…

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

What kind of beer? Please konsider your answer karefully. The wrong one kould be the impetus for a take over…

Beer is nasty

In reply to A Little Late Joining the Party but…

why have alcohol which can damage the nervous system when you can have fruit juice.

But…

In reply to Beer is nasty

would you really want to live in a world where everyone was entirely sober all of the time? Too scary for words…

Based on experience

In reply to But…

Yes but it is almost hard to say since a world like that does not exist. Your name is inacurate. I am stranger than all of you combined. Proverbs calls wine a mocker. In this context it is alcoholic wine and not the grape juice.

As you probably know from history many people protested the Vietnam war, when if fact it is well documented that drugs like alcohal, ciggerets, opium products, etc have inevetable caused more deaths throught the years than all of earths wars because some of the wars were probably stared by drugs and witch craft.

A sober world would be very nice, and besides, don’t you care about your neurons?!!

Well in that case

In reply to Based on experience

Wouldn’t that argument make Jesus a person not to follow as he is charged with turning [b]Water into Wine and it was considered better than the original Wine served at that marriage?[/b] ;\

And don’t come at it that it was only Grape Juice with no Alcohol in it as the entire idea was to use the cheaper stuff when everyone was too drunk to notice the difference. That is clearly stated in the pages of that work of Fiction attached to parts of the Jewish Religious Book. 😉

You see that it’s possible to misrepresent passages of the Bible to suit my own ends to. I can if you like bring up various passages that will argue that everything that you claim is incorrect or at best [b]Misguided![/b] :p

How about you returning to your church and warp the minds of the [b]True Believers[/b] there and leave us sensible people alone to do as we like? B-)

As they say you can lead a Horse to Water but you can not make it drink the stuff. 😀

Col ]:)

http://tinyurl.com/fz854

It is grape juice

In reply to Well in that case

If you really have such documented evedence that I am wrong then please send it at fermihost@yahoo.com ,or come to http://www.cleanfunnyjoke.com/index.php where I am known as pastageek. It is much easier to do this on that site then this one.

PS try to remember context, and you are not as sensible as you think.

SENSIBLE!!!

In reply to It is grape juice

Buddha be praised I never alluded to attempting to be sensible ever, well at least not in the Miscellaneous section of TR anyway. But when I attempt to help people solve their computer related problems that’s a different story. :0

As for proof I’ve just grabbed [b]The Family Bible printed in 1845[/b] and a copy of the King James Bible both clearly state that Jesus was responsible for turning [b]Water into Wine[/b] as well as the musical [b]Jesus Christ Superstar.[/b] If memory serves me correctly I really can’t be bothered getting out the Vinyl and listening to the soundtrack but I’m sure that in the Song that Herod sang to Jesus after his trial he offered to set him free if he performed just one miracle which included turning Water into Wine, Walking on Water or Feeding the Masses with a few loaves of bread and some fish. B-)

Now to something serious it’s not a great idea to post your e-mail address here even if it is a disposable Yahoo one as you can get bombarded by Spam as the nasty Spiders crawl all through the TR site and pick up any active E-Mail accounts listed. It’s for this very reason that TR no longer allows complete E-Mail addresses to appear from Peers. If you want to be contacted TR has the option through the Peer Mail system so that you don’t get bombarded with Spam. [b]OH no I’m being serious.[/b] :_|

Col ]:)

Witchcraft?!??

In reply to Based on experience

the 15th century is thattaway!

someone tell that

In reply to Witchcraft?!??

to my friggen ex-wife….. X-(
[i]

(how pathetic)

JD get her to move to Salaam

In reply to someone tell that

I believe that the Anti Witchcraft laws are still on the books there though I can’t remember anyone being burnt at the [b]STEAK[/b] recently. Though I must admit that I’ve seen a lot of people burn [b]Steaks[/b] very badly. :^0

Maybe you could lobby your Local Pollies and get the Salaam Laws enacted in your area as well but I believe the the Dunking will not be allowed as there are now strict laws on Water Pollution but I’m sure that you can come up with a better option. :0

Col ]:)

I have been looking into

In reply to someone tell that

a nice vacation to Pakastan or Iran. I am sure they would have ways of dealing with her……..

“Why is this a one way ticket?”
“you will find out soon enough…” ;\

Well in that case JD

In reply to someone tell that

Don’t forget to give her an expensive [b]Star Of David[/b] Necklace, that will make the issue certain then. 😀

Col ]:)

Hmm… Sending your ex to invade Iran

In reply to someone tell that

They will be begging us western captialist infidels for help within a week. 🙂

It matters not the century

In reply to Witchcraft?!??

Hallucination by drugs is one way many get into witchcraft, and there is no denying that it does exsist. It is just not as all powerful as disney and harry potty series potrays.

Femi, a word on modern witchcraft…

In reply to It matters not the century

As a Pagan (paid my dues in Glastonbury living at the Druidic chapter house for 6 months – damn, I’m a hippy), my views on witchcraft are very different – Witchcraft is basically using ritual to focus the mind on what it is you want to achieve. Pretty much like prayer or holy communion – it’s all about focusing the mind. In the case of prayer etc it’s all about Dog (sorry, dyslexic) but in the case of witchcraft it is a more personal thing – speak to any modern Wicca, I am sure they will be willing to share their views. Yes, there is more to it than that but thats the essence of it.

BTW – New Rule…

No using my threads to plug yourself on other websites! You’ve plugged yourself a few times now – STOP or face the wrath of Ciddy!

not only that

In reply to Witchcraft?!??

but any century can be this way or that way. In any case witchcraft and wicca are recognized religions.

How about this for an answer to your question?

In reply to A Little Late Joining the Party but…

http://tinyurl.com/dzbvu

😀

That works for me!

In reply to How about this for an answer to your question?

Although, I would prefer a REAL German Pilsner, or even a Foster’s.

The Royal Brew Master

In reply to That works for me!

I say we make our own. It is not, afterall, rocket science. It’s much more complicated than rockets and much more important.

Back in the bad old days, society valued their beer so highly they burned people at the stake for a bad batch of beer.

I’ll follow whoever…

In reply to How about this for an answer to your question?

…invented that beautiful beast. (take a look at http://tinyurl.com/dzbvu if you haven’t already.)

Any job openings in the vicinity of that “cooler”

it’s the New Improved Water Cooler at TR

In reply to I’ll follow whoever…

Where we all gather around for the Miscellaneous discussions. 😉

I point to that whenever anyone complains that we are not talking Tech and we shouldn’t be posting here. :^0

Col ]:)

gross picture

In reply to How about this for an answer to your question?

It makes me think of all the bad things I couls do if Carry Nation were still around.

Putting alcohol into the body is attrotious.

Well as you find this so OFFENSIVE

In reply to gross picture

[b]DON’T LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/b]

http://tinyurl.com/fz854

Don’t be so testy

In reply to Well as you find this so OFFENSIVE

How can I express my disgust unless I see it? Wait, I know the answer, I just could.

Make a bargain with you…

In reply to gross picture

If you will refrain from responding to every post that contain the words alcohol, beer or wine with a polemic about their “nastiness”, none of us will ask you to drink any.

From a historical perspective, beer and wine were consumed in preference to water for the simple reason that for much of western history, water was not clean enough to drink safely and was a source of disease.

In modern terms, moderate quantities of alcohol help protect my poor little heart from heart disease and are effective as a regimine to combat high cholesterol.

I am too obssesive compulsive

In reply to Make a bargain with you…

too not reply, and asking me to drink it will not make me want to drink it any way. I am not even old enough to legaly drink it. I am close to morbid obesity and to combat stuff like you are suggesting I just do exersize, martial arts, lots of fruit, and lots of brain use. I don’t even have high blood pressure from my extra adipose.

Achohol is the worlds way

In reply to I am too obssesive compulsive

Of coping with people like you. Eat Drink and Be Merry or Starve in sobriety and depression.

That is why I am very different from the non-Christian world

In reply to Achohol is the worlds way

I have my own bouts of depression, but I have better ways of dealing with it. Like just a few days ago I was reading a programming book that described binary arithmetic. It gave me a natural high. My obsession with 90 degree angles also helps me cope and the beautifly written word of God helps me all the more.

Yet another request

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Being from Kanada may I humbly request that you make the mandatory alchohol volume of beer at least %5.9

If you appoint me to be the ruler of your kanadian subjects I shall share the secret of this beer making technology, that seems to elude brewmasters thorughout the rest of the continent.

As your Kanadian ruler I shall also ban the Toronto Maple Leafs from the NHL, and strike their incipent name from the khronicals of history forever.

Toronto shall also be renamed New Ciderickton in your honor.

Eww, beer is nasty

In reply to Yet another request

I see it makes you get your “K” and “C” mixed up. lol

Mike you had better not come near Australia

In reply to Yet another request

By Law here anything to be called [b]BEER[/b] has to be at least 8% alcohol. :p

Your suggestion would get you thrown in [b]JAIL Here[/b] for mislabeling a drink to make out that it was something that it isn’t. :^0

At 5.6% you would have to call it a [b]Light[/b] to get away with that one. Example you walk into a pub and ask for a [b]Carlton Light not a Carlton Beer.[/b] 😀

Col ]:)

At Last!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Someone who UNDERSTANDS! O Master! I shall follow you wherever you direct!

Power to the geeks

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

so.. whens the uprising?

By starting this thread the person

In reply to Power to the geeks

In question has just killed them self although they may not yet know it. :^0

http://tinyurl.com/nf9lu

The decision has already been made by someone that I know better than to disagree with in any form. :p

Have you noticed that the person who started this thread off hasn’t made any new posts recently? I’m wondering why. 😀

Col ]:)

I was sick…

In reply to By starting this thread the person

…too many free beers n supermodels…

OH I see ;\

In reply to I was sick…

Food Poising again Hey? 😀

Col ]:)

when

In reply to Power to the geeks

we become a race of animated cyborgs that pop in and out of 3d+1 space and the projective plane and drink a cup of mustard per day! ~mad sci laughing~

interested

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Are you hiring

Its nice to have someone step up and take charge

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

You can be ruler and have any title you want as long as you meet a few simple requirements of mine:

1. Don’t bother me.

2. Prevent other people from bothering me.

3. Take care of any required paper work without bothering me.

4. I’d like my salary up front, in a lump sum. That way there won’t be any disagreements about raises, etc. I lead a simple life, so about $2 billion will be fine. That way I will be free to persue my interests without the day to day financial worries.

Maybe I should get my own planet. I’ve been intending to for years, but I’ve been putting it off. After all, people have been saying for years that “he lives in a world of his own”. 🙂

Yes sir!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

“10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.”

Yes sir, with pleasure sir. Can I get you anything, sir? Perhaps a fine cigar to go with your Guiness? OK, sir, let me know if I can be of any assistance…

One more thing, sir; Where’s the beer?

Viva la Revolution!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Viva Ciderick!!

(… as he schemes on how to pull off a coup d’etat and become El Supremo himself)

and so it goes…

OK, Palpatine. But only if…….

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

….the beer involved is Guinness.

Totally Awesome Except I would be in charge.

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Great post. Very Funny

Very NICE!!! Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!! YES!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

I agree, and will be your Praetorian Advisor .

In addition , those that ask what the “any key” is will be taken out and Beaten with a VIC-20.

Those who ask “What is ROOT?” , will be placed in a Pillory and have defective cd’s & floppy’s thrown at them.

The most prestigious degrees and education will be in Computer Science.

you have

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

my vote as long as you apoint me, tobirene, as a old and poorly respected advisor. and free beer.

I wish to join this mighty evil organisation

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

It is readily apparent to me that there is not enough Keira Knightley?s or Jessica Alba’s to go around. So to remedy this situation I have used my konsiderable evil genius to kreate one of my most diabolikal kreations to date. Evil ladies and gentlemen I present you with the Kloning Khamber. Muhahaha, Muhahaha, Muhahahaha.

The Kloning Khamber is just the beginning of what I kan offer this evil organisation, in addition to large selektion of “giant lasers” and ridikulously slow moving death traps I have in place an organisation so diabolikal and fiendish that entire governments are afraid to khallenge it, I have kalled it the RIAA.

I have one addition to the evil manifesto, All rappers and tekhno “musikians” shall be rounded up, placed on a desolate island and slowly tortured to death by being made to listen to their own kreations.

How about…

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

spend your time in a more realistic way and go and speak to the hot girl acroos the street?

Switched to Decaf did we?

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Your caffine detox headache is fully evident to all of us.

1. No tech support person is qualified to be god. We’re subject matter experts in IT and near ignoramouses in other fields.

2. End users who call on tech support to fix their pc when the pc is fine, obviously need training, not beating. If they are untrainable, then they should be fireable.

3. TANSTAAFL, or in this case TANSTAAFB.

4. If you don’t know what TANSTAAFL means, then how can you call yourself an IT geek?

5. If IT people have time to watch TV shows, then they certainly don’t have enough work to complain about.

6. Politics is the use of power to influence and control. IT support staff have a large amount of power and influence to control people’s behavior. Ergo, IT support folks are politicians. So are you advocating we all commit suicide?

7. You don’t need to disband any electrician union. Just hire independents and pay them decently – kinda like us.

8. Geeks don’t get girlfriends, they only dream about them.

9. See 8.

10. If you have enough money to pay an advisor well to be a yes person; then what in God’s name are you complaining about?

11. The heck with M$, Unix et al, etc. Get 7 people together in your basement for a year and write a new OS to do the things that an OS should do. You know all the mistakes made over the past 3 decades, don’t repeat them.

12. Write a second version of the OS in 11 to run on Macs.

13. Heck, I’ll argue with anyone. And provide unsolicited advise free of charge.

14. See 8.

15. All IT support will be required to brew their own beer at home. Then we’ll see how good they REALLY are at quality control.

16. See 8, again.

17. In addition to unsolicited advice, I also provide career counseling, education counseling, and personal coaching and counseling. Satisfaction guarranteed or money back. Pay as you can, for what you consider it to be worth.

You really need to stop playing a sith lord in Star Wars Galaxies. It’s definately affecting your perceptions of reality.

Reality??????

In reply to Switched to Decaf did we?

Deal or No Deal!!!!!

Reality?

In reply to Reality??????

Highly overrated, if you ask me.

Like a T-shirt long ago said:

Reality is for those who can’t handle Dungeons & Dragons(tm)

Or to step furhter back in time:

Reality is for those who can’t handle drugs

(Quit hogging the bong, JD)

Aaaargh!

In reply to Switched to Decaf did we?

Spelling! You really should learn to spell. How can anyone take seriously someone who can’t express themselves in basic English?

“It’s definately affecting your perceptions of reality.”

Enough “unsolicited advise”! You shouldn’t be “counseling” anyone, whether or not satisfaction is “guarranteed”.

We all make the occasional slip, but you seem to have a serious problem with literacy.

#2

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

While I agree in general with #2, I think that would be an insult to the C64. Maybe beaten with a TRaSh80, or maybe a Timex Sinclair?

I am completely offended…

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

by your endorsement of abusive violence in line 2. That kind of mistreatment of C64’s simply cannot be tolerated.

Oh, and I think you may want to add lawyers to line 6.

#5

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

“5. There will be a weekly tv event where Jardinier & Maxwell will be locked in a room together & given a topic of conversation – non-lethal weapons will also be supplied.”

I propose that we change the kombatants to Hal9000 and fermihost. Non-lethal weapons would be mukh more entertaining than having to be subjekted to the same old tired pro/anti-religion dogma.

Trying to convert a zealot, of any stripe, is fool’s errand. And not a very entertaining one at that.

At the very least you could come up with some new material.

I most humbly krave your pardon, Most Wonderous Ciderick, for having used the forbidden letter. As punishment I shall sentense myself to an eight hour marathon of the same episode of Gilligan’s Island.

Firstly berak

In reply to #5

8 Hours of Gillian’s Island is no where near enough punishment you’ll probably enjoy it too much. :^0

Secondly as I was trained by a Shollin Master there is nothing that is a [b]Non Lethal Weapon to me[/b] so that isn’t going to work out safely. :p

How about this for punishment reading [b]Poor Fellow My Country[/b] by Xavier Herbert in Hard Cover without a book stand straight through. While the story is great the book is heavy and your arms will be falling off when you finish. 😀

Col ]:)

http://tinyurl.com/fz854

Actually…

In reply to Firstly berak

… I never cared for the show, or for any of the shows that were supposedly comedies of that time. I was convinced AFRTS (Armed Forces Radio & Television Service) Germany had only purchased two episodes of the show, and I never did find out what the other one was. (I spent three years in Germany in the mid-late 70’s praying that the Soviets were drinking as much vodka as I was drinking the local beer.)

True torture would be to be having to read War and Peace in the original Russian yet again. It is even more of a bore in Russian than it is in English.

Btw, Grasshopper, it’s either Shaolin or Xiaolin. 🙂

Yep I know

In reply to Actually…

But this silly US based Spell Checker will not accept either. 🙁

So I make do with what it allows. :^0

When I stop inflicting pain upon myself and go back to my Debian Box it will all be OK but while I’m inflicting pain on myself using an XP Box I can’t get it to do most of the things that I want it to. :_|

But as most of the customers use Windows I sort of thought I’d better use if again as I’m forgetting way too much about the lousy system. I knew that I had trouble when I caught myself telling someone to log in as “Root” to do something. This same guy had me there for 4 hours today altering his Router so that several Ports where open and then I found out he had the wrong Web Page and all the work that I’d done was nothing more than a waste of time so I had to reset everything again. :0

Then he insisted that I spend time moving all of his downloaded music into the one folder so he could use his I Pod again and make a USB External HDD work. He had plugged in the Power USB plug and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working and the I Pod thing I’m not even going to go into as it’s way too painful. :_|

This [b]High Tech Work[/b] is going to be the death of me yet! 😉

Col ]:)

Vote for Ciderick

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Dude, err umm Master, you have my vote to become the new leader of the world…Just leave me a small country with a few women.

You should add 2a, users will have a bark training collar firmly attached around their necks, set to apply a small jolt when they have installed something just to see what it is…Your rules, no shit software.

Something to ponder…

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Who is more foolish, the unwelcoming prostletizing fanatic or the weary traveler who stops to respond/argue with said fanatic…

Think about it.

Rule 17 Rules!

It’s a toss up…

In reply to Something to ponder…

I rekommend we exile/shoot them both to lower the noise level so we kan drink in pease. I have nothing against those who hold opinions that are at odds with my own. I do have a problem with those that:

a. Dismiss other points of views without an open-minded discussion.
b. Insist that their point of view is the ONLY one and all others wrong, even if the matter is one that is totally subjective.
(this letter left intentionally blank)
d. Insist on using tired old dogmatic cliches to explain thier point of view or to to counter anothers.
e. Those that fail to understand that saying the same thing more then twice is a waste of time and terrible annoyance to others around you.

And since I have gonna over this at least twice, I will follow my own and advice and shut up on the subjekt. (And there was much rejoicing)

All Hail Ciderick!

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

All Hail Eris!! All Hail Discordia!!!

May I substitute….

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

Being one who still has a emotional bond to my C64…could I instead beat said users with my old Coleco ADAM computer instead?? It’s bigger. Much bigger 🙂

Hail to the chief! *grin*

You’ve convinced me! Almost…..

In reply to Ok, enough arguing – I am going to take over the world!!!

I’m with you! (Except that we might have to fight over Kate Beckinsdale….)

Can’t go along with the Jedi nonsense, however….

[Author]

Replies