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  • #2258752

    On a lighter note


    by neilb@uk ·

    I thought that I’d post a lighter message with all the current rant on Israel and welcome back Tony Hopkinson who has been absent for a while.

    Today is, appropriately, “Yorkshire Day”.

    Take a couple of minutes out to listen to the voices and, no, I can’t understand half of it either.

    Neil 😀

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    • #3214581

      OY!! YOU!

      by gadgetgirl ·

      In reply to On a lighter note

      Favouritsm, that’s wot it is, bloody favouritism.

      Where’s my Geordie day, then?




      • #3214578

        If I find it, I’ll post it!

        by neilb@uk ·

        In reply to OY!! YOU!

        There must be one. It’s only southern sorts like me with no regional pride who don’t get any day at all. 🙁

      • #3214577

        To that fact…

        by jellimonsta ·

        In reply to OY!! YOU!

        Where is my “Black Country transplant in the US Mid-West” day?? :p

        • #3214572

          That’s next Wednesday

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to To that fact…

          if you send me $100, I will get all of the details sent to you so you can see wozapanin.


          Orroit cocka?

        • #3214291


          by jellimonsta ·

          In reply to That’s next Wednesday

          That’s bostin’ thar is ar kid!! :p

      • #3214570

        Maybe you only get mention

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to OY!! YOU!

        if you have a pudding named after you? 😀

        Have I mentioned the boys have asked me to make that Bolganese yorkie for them? They got some as left overs from when you were wonderful enough to help me make it for the Country Girl, and want to give it a shot again.

        Told them it is a two day process, so we have to plan it out! Soon. Between that and I have to find the email with the directions again! Good think I don’t get rid of old emails! B-)

        • #3214499

          Geordie delicacies

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Maybe you only get mention

          Stotty cake – a delicious bread baked in the bottom of the oven

          Pease pudding – split pea and bacon sort of …hmmm…like solid soup. Nice, though.

          Now I’m stuck. Thems the only ones i know!

          Some more phrases for you to practice:

          Hoo ye gannin? ‘How are you?’
          Hoo’s ya fettle? ‘How are you?’
          Y’areet, hinny? ‘Are you all right, young person?’
          Champion. ‘Very good, very well’
          Bonny day the day. ‘It’s nice weather’
          Cowld the day, mar. ‘It’s cold today.’
          Whey aye, man. ‘that’s right’
          Give ower, y’a kiddin. ‘Come on, you’re joking’
          Hadaway man. ‘I’m still not convinced’
          Ya taakin shite. ‘I really disagree with that’
          Ootside! ‘Let’s settle this outside’
          Hoo’s the Toon gannin? ‘How is the Newcastle United match progressing?’
          Tara now, pet. ‘Goodbye (to female)’
          Wee’s yon slapper? ‘Who’s the young lady?’

          The following joke misses most people who’ve never heard a Geordie:

          Workman visiting doctor: “Me leg’s bad, man, can ye give us a sick note?”

          Doctor: Can you walk?

          Workman: Work? Y’a kiddin’ man, A cannet even waak!


          p.s. wtf is Bolganese yorkie? When you find the emails, forward please!

        • #3214471

          That I will

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Geordie delicacies

          And yes, when I have heard not “A” gordie, but “THE” gordie speak in the native dialect, my only response was “huh?” 😀

          Think almost lasagna, but in a yorkie instead of with noodles. start with a sirloin steak, and mince…… wine is in there as well. Did my Julia Childs impersonation when I did my test run. 😀 The single most complex dish I have ever created, and it was nothing but rave reviews! Hours in the kitchen though.

          oh my, I am hungry now! Got to wait for the heatwave to break first though. It is either cold dishes or on the grill as I am NOT turning my oven or stove on and heating the house up more! B-)

        • #3214463

          We’re back to “cool” now

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to That I will

          so GG will be happier. Under 70F in Newcastle at the moment but a nice 73F down here. Warming up slowly as the weekend approaches in both places. A nice warm 77 for fishing on Saturday. Taking my boss and his family out for the day, he’s just brought them over from Denmark.

          Nothing like a bit of brown-nosing… ;\ 😀

        • #3214457

          Not “cool” here

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to We’re back to “cool” now

          Heat advisories, with natural temps around 99F and a heat index of about 105F.

          High humidity doesn’t help either.

          Glad my office is COLD from the AC, and got AC in my car for the hour ride home! From there it is off to grandmas house to hop in the pool!

          after it cools off tonight, we will go home and clean. Got a showing tomorrow for the house. ~sigh~

        • #3214444

          Ok I will raise you….

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Not “cool” here

          Heat 36/98.6 farenheit
          Humidex = 45.3/113.5 farenheit
          UV INdex – Very high (8)
          Air Quality Index 44 (32 is acceptable)

          Its really sticky.

          Two weeks ago a Gramdmother (97 years old), her daughter and grandaughter were out in the car. They stopped at a WalMart and the younger two went inside to fill a prescription. While they were there they did some shopping. People passing by saw the Grandmother in obvious distress in the car and called 911. The younger two were arrested for failure to provide the necessities – they protested they really loved their mother and took good care of her…..


        • #3215015

          James, I’ll see you and rase you a few degrees.

          by mjwx ·

          In reply to Not “cool” here

          these are the statistics of the town of paraburdoo where I grew up. its not unusual to have a string of 45 degrees C days in summer, every summer. All temps are in celsius I’m afraid.

          Paraburdoo recieve most of our rain in the summer months when its hottest, this is not unusual for a semi-arid climate.

        • #3215728

          A mild switch – one of my favourite Yorkie expressions is

          by deadly ernest ·

          In reply to Geordie delicacies

          tis larzi wend (English translation “Is a lazy wind”) they say that when the wind is so strong and sharp it goes straight through you because it’s too lazy to go around you.

        • #3215683

          good try, Neil

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Geordie delicacies

          – for a foreigner!

          Sheeps heed n stotty cyek – Geordie delicacy

          Dunk n suck – another one

          And this joke will probably miss you, too:

          Long before radio was used on ships, there used to be a Lloyds hailing station at the end of Shields Pier. A man sat there all day and night, taking notes of the details of the ships going in and out of the port.

          One foggy evening (pea soup-er it was) he thinks he can hear a boat coming in, so gets out his old fashioned equivalent of a megaphone.

          “Wots ya name?”

          The reply: “Anna”
          Again, he shouts: “Wots ya name?”

          Same reply – “Anna”

          Irate, and shouted desperately this time:

          “Wots ya bluddy name, man!”

          Again, the same reply – “Anna”

          Finally, in totally exasperation, the Lloyds man lifts his megaphone, and positively screams down it:

          “Ah knaa ye knaa, but marra, ah wanna knaa!!”

          Ah well, that should by-pass the lot of you, apart from Bob in Calgary.

          Just in case you missed this the first four times I posted it….

          Oh, and I totally befuddled jd when I called to wish him happy birthday, and came out with one line, just one line mind you, of “proper” Geordie – he’s right, all he said was “Huh?”!!!


      • #3215018

        Yorkshire Day, Geordie Day

        by bjhyde ·

        In reply to OY!! YOU!

        Then there’s we Northumbrians. We’re so superior that we don’t need a day!!!!

        • #3214776


          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Yorkshire Day, Geordie Day

          You’re so inferior, you need a MONTH!!!

          Where you at? – I’m working in Durham, live in Gateshead. Just found out Waity85 is working in Newcastle…..

          Just trying to arrange icckle dinkums here!



    • #3214569

      Hey mate, how big is this file

      by deadly ernest ·

      In reply to On a lighter note

      I started to download it but gave up after eight minutes and still loading – but then I’m only getting 31.6 kbps at the moment.

      BTW Yorkshire accents are easy to understand, well at least when compared to a Gordie that is. My dad was a Yorkshireman from Huddersfield, – thas ‘Uddersfild (about as close as you can type the accent)

      • #3214559

        Sorry, Ern

        by neilb@uk ·

        In reply to Hey mate, how big is this file

        I don’t know because we’ve got two 8Mb pipes so it just loads. There’s some bits, though, that I really don’t get. I had a flatmate from Gateshead so I can understand a little Geordie.

        Neil 🙂

        • #3214556

          Psst, Neil

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Sorry, Ern

          Help us poor Americans out here- what’s a Geordie?

          Hating to look ignorant and all, but…

        • #3214554

          Gadget Girl

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Psst, Neil

          is a Geordie.

          This is someone who hails from Newcastle upon Tyne in the North East of England. They are renowned for their generous nature (not [b]quite[/b] being Scottish) and totally incomprehensible dialect.

 is where they are.

        • #3215674


          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Gadget Girl

          but no cigar!

          Strictly speaking, Geordies are those born within sight of the Tyne – although at one stage about 20 years ago, they changed that to the smell of the Tyne….!

          As for the totally incomprehensible dialect – WE all know what we’re taalkin’ aboot, it’s yeez lot! Bleedn for’ners!

          Good map for location though – I actually live in Gateshead (on the map!) but work in Durham (just off the map, below Chester Le Street) and this afternoon get the great pleasure to go to what used to be Steel Alley (Consett) for a meeting I have absolutely no interest in, and has nothing at all to do with my work…..


          Bottles of Dog all round, I think….. 😀 :p



        • #3215671

          I was keeping it simple

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Close…..

          My flatmate from years ago – Colin – was from Gateshead and he didn’t really consider himself a Geordie although everyone who wasn’t from the North East did.

          OK, keep it cryptic and make me work. I’ll have a Broon, an’all.


        • #3215670

          Well, if I needed proof….

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          that you AREN’T a Geordie, that was it….



          It’s DOG when you live here….

          (hence the phrase “He’s Dog Happy, he’s in the dryer at Cherry Knowles)

          [if that doesn’t get you going…….]



        • #3215669

          So, is this a challenge?

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          I had to go and search for “Dog” as I hadn’t hear that one. I put “Broon” to show that I’d cracked the clue.

          I believe that the “Dryer at Cherry Knowles” must refer to the Cherry Knowles Mental Health Complex where all of the nutters in the North East – including yourself – spend some time (you get to leave when you want, though).

          Am I warm? :p

          Hmmm. Does “the dryer” signify that we have an alcoholic being “dried out”?

          This is like a quiz show off Radio Four!

        • #3215666

          well done!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          You cracked it – just about spot on, apart from the fact that I don’t work in Cherry Knowles… (as you already know!) and in the good old days, it was also a rehab unit for WWII vets.

          Yup, Dog is Newcastle Brown. The Original. It’s alcoholic content has been lessened over the years. At one stage, the health units up here actually asked the original brewers to make it less evil – they ran out of spaces in the alcoholics wards in the whole of the North East of England!!! Yup, strong stuff, it was.

          Ok, you got that one, so here’s another: (which I think is too easy, but I can’t think of an alternative at the moment)

          In Geordie speak, what are:

          The Iron Fairy
          The Blinkin’ Eye
          The Slug

          and – ~snigger~ ha ye dropped ya dottle on the proggy mat, ye mad gadgie?

          (I’m enjoying this – can you tell??!!)



        • #3215652

          Iron Fairy

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          has to be that wonderful statue, “Rust Bucket of the North”

          Neil 😀

        • #3215650

          The Blinkin’ Eye

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Personally, I think [b]our[/b] Millennium Bridge, closed for repair after three days, was more fun but yours is prettier.


          Cooking with Semtex, here. I’ve got to go out to M&S now so I’ll address the Slug and your final cryptic sentence when I get back.

        • #3215648

          The Slug

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          The Sage Gateshead music centre seems not to be as well appreciated as Norman Foster hoped, then?

          Who’s the Daddy?!


          Now I [b]am[/b] going out!

        • #3215646

          Excuse me, sir,

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          are you completely bereft of common sense as you appear to be dropping cigarette ash on my home-made rug.

          Translated into Surreyspeak.

          Neil 😀

        • #3214206

          Translate this!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          This is the bet: if you can translate this WITHOUT reference to your mate Colin, I really WILL buy you a bottle of Dog. And it’ll be the real stuff, as brewed oop yer, and I’ll get it to you somehow.

          Excerpt from a dear old lady, Wor Dorfy, sadly long gone, who wrote for the local paper in the local lingo for years….

          “Insteed o’ Stick No Bills w’ cud hev Clag Nee Pyeppor an’ insteed o’ that polite little notice in the parks aboot keepin’ yor dog on a lead ye cud hev Keep A-Hadden Yor Dog.
          “Them pedestrian traffic lights that says Cross Now cud just hev a brief Howay! an’ instead o’ Keep Britain Tidy notices thor wud be Divvent Hoy Yor Muck Heor.
          “The shops, as weel, wud use propor langwidge.
          “The bakers would sell stotty cyeks, Sudden Deeth, and Penny Bosters.
          “The fruiterers would sell snadgers an’ scallions an’ pea swabs; an’ at the drapers w’ cud ax for sharts an’ linin’s an’ semmits, an’ ganzeys an’ twilted twilts.
          “An’ ivry hatter wawth the nyem wud sell duts.
          “Think hoo much mair interestin’ menus an’ tarrifs wud be if w’ waar offered cups o’ scad, shives o’ chuck, gob-height samwiches, or ducks wi’ veils on.”
          But then she concluded:
          “On the other hand, us Geordies is such distinct porsonalities, w’ daint need t’ fash-on aboot bein’ recognised as Geordies.
          “Us disn’t need nee special tartans, nor emblems nor nowt.
          “Cass us is special folks – an’ a gud product needs nee advortisin’.”

          [i] [b] The game’s afoot…….[/i] [/b]



        • #3214202

          Dorothy Samuelson-Sandvid

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          aka Wor Dorphy, Our Dorothy…

          OK, but I’ll probably never get it all. It does make amazing reading, though!


        • #3214198

          oh, sh

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple


          You’re too good at this search business!!

          Ok, keep going…… so far you’ve earned the bottle, label and cap, but not the contents…!!!



        • #3214149

          I admit defeat

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Most of it was fairly straightforward. It was the shopping stuff than done for me!

          Clag Nee Pyeppor – stick no paper
          Keep A-Hadden Yor Dog – I’m guessing “keep a hand on your dog”
          stotty cyeks, Sudden Deeth, and Penny Bosters – You know I know Stotty Cake but Sudden Deeth and Penny Booster have me stumped
          Snadgers and scallions and pea swabs – Turnips, spring onions and then I’m completely stuck on “pea swabs”
          sharts an’ linin’s an’ semmits, an’ ganzeys an’ twilted twilts. – shirts, linens, vests, pullovers and quilted quilts
          An’ ivry hatter wawth the nyem wud sell duts. – and every hatter worthy of the name would sell woolly hats (in black and white)
          cups o’ scad, shives o’ chuck, gob-height samwiches, or ducks wi’ veils on. – cups of tea, something from a chicken and then it’s downhill from here on!

          I REALLY must do some work!

          Neil :p

        • #3213055

          Total? Three quarters of a bottle of Dog!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          You were right on more than I thought you would be!

          Ok ? keep a-hadden yor dog is actually ?keep a hold of your dog? ? close, though!
          Sudden deeth ? super-sweet dough, no longer made; penny boster ? extra large iced bun
          Pea swabs ? pea pods?.
          Shives o? chuck ? sides of chicken, i.e. half a chicken
          Gob-height samwiches ? mouth height extra thick bread sandwiches filled to the gunnels
          Ducks wi? veils on ? scotch eggs, or rather, made with Cumberland sausagemeat

          On the basis that you can’t buy 3/4 of a bottle, I’ll stand the whole one for you; after all, you did work quite hard at this…..

          (and the rest of the board must think we’ve gone nuts!)



        • #3213024

          Not a bit, GG

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Ask some of the southerners around here to translate what they often refer to as “English”.

          Or join a Highland Scot in this.

          It’s actually fun to read. Amazing how local dialect becomes so prevalent.

          Here in the Midwest, two common ones that drive me out of my tree- “take with” as opposed to “take with you” and “irregardless”. How anyone can use the word irregardless in a sentence and keep a straight face completely baffles me.

          Edited for typo and to add- a spell check does nothing for you when you spell the wrong word correctly!

        • #3213018

          Hey, watchit, Tig2,

          by old guy ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Jest cause ya?ll ain?t got no good larning from yorn high falootin’ places don?t means you kin poke fun at us’ns in the South!!! Long live the South!!! :^0 B-)

          Edited to change a spelling, Man, that was hard to type… 🙂

        • #3213003

          Try this for size

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          In my Geordie Googling, I came across some poetry…

          Geordie’s New Shoes

          Gan canny where yer gannin
          With new skeets upon yer feet
          Cos the tiket mans a cummin
          Tappy lappy doon the street

          Aan aah can?t afford te pay him
          This week he?s getting noot
          Cos the scullery flair wants diyin
          Aah?ve te buy the tarry toot

          Se divvint scuff yer new skeets
          Cos they?ll have te gan te hock
          Unless there?s oot agannin
          Doon alang the dock

          So gan canny where yer gannin
          Mind yer Ps and Qs
          And what ivvor ye are diyin
          Tek care them bloody shoes

        • #3212986

          Don’t have it all, but what I think I can get is…

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Gan canny where yer gannin
          Grandmother where are you going

          With new skeets upon yer feet
          Wearing new shoes

          Cos the tiket mans a cummin
          Because the landlord is coming

          Tappy lappy doon the street
          Walking down the street

          Aan aah can?t afford te pay him
          I cannot afford to pay him

          This week he?s getting noot
          He won’t be getting any money

          Cos the scullery flair wants diyin
          Lost me here
          EDIT- The kitchen fire is dying (?)

          Aah?ve te buy the tarry toot
          Lost me here too
          EDIT- I need to buy coal (?)

          Se divvint scuff yer new skeets
          So don’t scuff your new shoes

          Cos they?ll have te gan te hock
          They will have to be pawned

          Unless there?s oot agannin
          Unless someone is hiring

          Doon alang the dock
          Down along the dock

          So gan canny where yer gannin
          So Grandmother, where are you going

          Mind yer Ps and Qs
          Mind your manners

          And what ivvor ye are diyin
          And no matter what

          Tek care them bloody shoes
          Take care of your shoes!

          Didn’t get all of it but you must admit- a valiant attempt from an American.

          GG, Neil- what did I miss?

          Edited as above and to add- oddly, the more I read it, the clearer it seems. Or am I finally gone round the bend???

        • #3212945

          Tig, sorry but we’ll have to wait for Gadget

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          The poem is addressed, I think, to a young boy and not a grandmother.

          “Gan canny where yer gannin” means to go carefully wherever you are going and “The ticket man” – the closest equivalent in the US would be a loan shark!

          “scullery flair wants diyin” – the scullery floor but what the hell it wants doing to it is beyond me! “tarry toot” might possibly be tobacco related but, really, I haven’t a clue!

          The poem was basically aimed at Gadget for her cryptic Geordie to me.

          Neil 😀

          You need to read it out loud with some Geordie vowel sounds which would make it quite lyrical.

          p.s. I’m sure now that tarry toots is cigarettes as “toot” has become a slang name for cocaine!

        • #3215433

          For Jellimonsta. a taste of home

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          The Black Country’s tongue has been junked on the tip.
          Folks say it t’ay proper English, a decaying dialect.
          I reply, “Shut yow cake hole barmpots, dow yow know
          Black Country is the onny survivin’ sound of Owld English?
          Even that famous mon, Chaucer, was a West Midlands mucker”.

          So yow plont potatoes an’ we dig – up taters with dirty donnies.
          Yow maintain oral igiene with toothpaste, we spit out tuffpaste.
          Yow weit fer a bus when we catch the buz. T’ay no different.
          The music may sound outta tune, but the routine’s the same.

          I gerrup at 6am, wash me onds and fisoge n’ comb me yahair.
          Pull on me uniform trazis, thermal ganzy n’ weskit.
          I pop me yat on me yead n’ grab a Tetnul Dick for breffus.
          Say torah to me cocka, mec sure he’ll give the babbee its bokkle,
          Promise owa Lewis a bag of kaline suck.

          “Adu?” to Mrs Hollingsworth, ooh ‘er is ‘alf soaked since
          That Martin went missin’, sawa the coppers kum this mornin’.
          Number 24’s wommel is yowling the street down again.
          At the buz stop Muck Fayce and Bragg Arse sly munch –
          Fayces like a fawpny hock. The buz driver’s gorra cobb on,
          Chunters “tickets ploise”, caggy-handed bugger.

          I sit next to Mrs Millward, ers a nus at Hallum orsepickle.
          Ooh ‘er dow ‘alf mec me loff, loff I say I nearly shat me self.
          “Oroit?” I ask, ” ‘ow was yow wikend?” ‘Er says, “I ay bloody
          Havin’ a Saturday off agen. The twins got into an argy-bargy
          On the tip, bobbies bought em um scared to jeth –
          They want coal crackin’on their yeads”.

          Me boss at Dray Springs has gorra a bob on hisself.
          11.30 fake break atter stand outside in the cowld,
          Cor risk another foyer. Gagging for a cuppa tae, gotta
          Gob full of fevers. Kum 5.30 I’m the fust outta the dowa,
          “Trarabit”. Cook lomb’s brains on toast fer faither’s supper.
          The tittie babi squawls cutting ‘er tuttie pegs and kiddling.

          Then it’s up the wooden hill to me cot,
          Countin’ the bobhowlers splattin’ up me window.
          That’s mar life in mar language, rusty vowowls,
          Corroded consonants, maet flies aet its rottin’ flesh.
          Black Country leaves a metallic taste in yow mouths,
          But in owa ‘ell flame foundries we’ll melt it down
          And keep recastin’ it.

          Edited because the damn autocensor can’t cope with dialect.

        • #3215431

          Aah’m hyor, man!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Ok, from the top…..

          Take it steady where you?re going
          With new shoes upon your feet

          The ticket man ? the man the pawnbroker used to send around to collect the interest on money paid for items in hock which were not to be sold, but held to buy back

          The collector is coming
          Walking down the street

          ?Tappy Lappy? ? the sound the mens shoes used to make on the cobbles when they were fitted with metal segs to stop undue wear and tear

          And I can?t afford to pay him
          This week he?s getting nothing
          Because the scullery (offshoot to a kitchen ? usually used as a washroom and laundry) floor wants doing
          *this is the only one that?s flummoxed me ? I need to ask Pa what ?tarry toot? is ? even I haven?t heard of that one!

          So don?t scuff your new shoes
          Because they will have to be pawned
          Unless there?s anything going (i.e. work)
          Down along the dock

          So take it steady where you?re going
          Mind your manners
          And whatever you are doing
          Be careful with those bloody shoes!

          Now then ? to get a proper handle on the accent, you need to get your ?ear in? if you see what I mean ? so have a Proper Geordie link on me?

          (I?ve just spent an enjoyable half an hour in a pleat of giggles at some of these)

          You?ll need the volume up fairly loud, and you WILL need to play them more than once ? we Geordies are notorious for talking at an extremely rapid rate of knots?..

          Wey, ye knaa, ah?ve had a reely gud tyem deeing all this for yuz, ah?d neely fogot haw t?tackle the lingo cos as?ve had t?taak English fa see lang.

          Cheeaz, marras!

          (You do realise no-one is going to be able to understand a word I say for the rest of the day….. I’m stuck in Geordiespeak!)



        • #3215430

          Hi Gadget

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          I’m not posting owt but but funnies today. I’ve had enough of shouting about Lebanon.

          See how you gerron wi’ Jelli’s pome. It’s much closer to my neck of the woods though there’s not much dialect around my home town.


        • #3215426

          Hi marra!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          tend to keep out of the really serious threads myself, I get a tad riled at some peoples attitudes…..

          So, you gonna start the Yuk then? Tell you what, you start, and I’ll see if I can quickly find a Geordie joke or two to flummox the yanks & co to put on there!

          I’ll get to Jelli’s pome when I have more time, which should be later this afternoon (out gallivanting again, another clinic, another security session…..I’m getting all the good jobs again….!!! :p )

          On a Geordie joke search….! 😀


        • #3215417

          Shouldn’t that be: I’m your girl ?:|

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          And that to the man that stood you up 😀 😉 forgiven him already? 🙂

          “Wey, ye knaa, ah?ve had a reely gud tyem deeing all this for yuz, ah?d neely fogot haw t?tackle the lingo cos as?ve had t?taak English fa see lang.”

          Well, you know, I have had a really good time doing all of this for fun, I do(had) nearly forgot(ten) how to handle(tackle/write) this language because I had to take(put) up on(with) English far to long.

          Dunno if it’s translated right to the letter but think it’s quite allright.


          [i]edited cause of @#$%#@[/i]

        • #3215400

          OK, Rob, good try

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          What we obviously need here is a Geordie to Dutch lexicon. let’s try into English – you can do the rest.

          Wey, ye knaa, ah?ve had a reely gud tyem deeing all this for yuz, ah?d neely fogot haw t?tackle the lingo cos as?ve had t?taak English fa see lang.

          Well, you know, I’ve had a really good time doing all of this for you. I’d nearly forgotten how to tackle the language because I’ve had to talk English for so long.

          Neil 🙂

        • #3215305


          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Neil – damn good at this, aren’t you? What are you doing? Trying for TWO bottles of Dog?! Ok, I’ll buy!

          Rob – don’t be silly! Of course he’s not forgiven!

          oh – and “man” is generic in Geordie speak, hence the phrase “how man woman man!” oft shouted in exasperation!

          Translation: “oy, you!”



        • #3214766

          dutch translation as requested

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          Wey, ye knaa, ah?ve had a reely gud tyem deeing all this for yuz, ah?d neely fogot haw t?tackle the lingo cos as?ve had t?taak English fa see lang.

          Wel, weet je, ik heb er veel plezier in gehad om dit voor jou te doen. Ik was bijna vergeten hoe ik met deze taal om moest gaan omdat ik heel lang engels heb moeten spreken.

          Have fun with it 🙂


        • #3213708

          Oeff, GG, you just had me

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to I was keeping it simple

          worried for a sec. there. 🙂

          Canny tuh heor that yas still pickin on neilb abyeut the standin up incident tuh yee. 😀 😉


        • #3214508


          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Psst, Neil

          You mean, WHO, don’t you? 😡

        • #3215677

          Easy one, Tig!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Psst, Neil

          I’m a Geordie (and proud of it, if you hadn’t gathered!)

          You may get more of an idea here:

          which is where I think Neil got that joke from!

          Oh, and personally, I count as a Sand dancer…..

          and just to confuse you even more, Pa talks a mix of pitmatic, dock, Geordie and (sometimes, just rarely!) English!!! (and he’s also a Sand dancer….strictly speaking, Ma’s a Jarrovian…!)

          Confused yet? And if not, why not?!


        • #3215644

          I have an edge

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Easy one, Tig!

          One of the family names is Renfrew (Scotland). I can spell properly- should be a clue. I spent about 16 years studying English history, specifically the Tudors.

          One of these days, I will get over there. Have some extended family in the London area as well as near Glasgow.

          No, you don’t have me confused. I have only heard the term Geordie used here.

          Sand Dancer- South Shields, yes?

        • #3215675

          Sand Dancer – don’t let GG confuse you!

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Psst, Neil

          ps. You should find it easy to place the Jarrovian. That one, they do in English.


        • #3215673

          Wasn’t confusing at all ……

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Sand Dancer – don’t let GG confuse you!

          – if you read the whole Wiki thing….!!




        • #3215736

          bbrbbrbbr – stop skiting about 2 8MB pipes

          by deadly ernest ·

          In reply to Sorry, Ern

          However, Yorkshire is a lovely place, I want to go there one day. I loved watching the TV series All Creatures Great and Small, it was filmed in Yorkshire and have some lovely scenery. As was the TV series Heartbeat. Beautiful country.

    • #3214555

      Wow, Yorkshire MUST be the BEST part of England

      by dmambo ·

      In reply to On a lighter note

      After reading the article, or at least the first 6 paragraphs before I got completely lost, I can only conclude that Yorkshire must be the most elegant and cultured portion of all of Great Britain, despite those dusting rags they call dogs. A friend of mine has a Yorkshire terrier, named Raisin, that I actually have used to dust a shelf, and they do a wonderful job. And I’ll bet that my wife makes the best Yorkshire Pudding in all of Vermont. All part of the single dinner (roast beef, mashed potatoes and puddin’ and gravy) that nobody in the family complains about.

    • #3214528

      Thanks for that.

      by tony hopkinson ·

      In reply to On a lighter note

      I’ll try to get my contribution level back up to scratch now I’ve got my brown stuff gathered in one place.

      I’ve missed all of you even the ones whoo get right on my nerves.

      You know who you are yer buggers.

      Thanks to Neil for the wb
      TJ for the PM

      Max and Proteus for another chance to irritate their septums and most of all Deadly Earnest for so MUCH amunition.

      • #3215733

        I don’t mind giving you ammunition, some one has to

        by deadly ernest ·

        In reply to Thanks for that.

        but I’m a person not an adverb, the name is spelt ERNEST no ‘a’ in it at all, shesh can’t you read and type it as I spell it in my alias.

        • #3215676

          So I gave you a bullet back did I?

          by tony hopkinson ·

          In reply to I don’t mind giving you ammunition, some one has to

          Careless of me, I shall strive not to do it again.

          My bad, you seemed to be earnest.

        • #3215655

          OK this a variant of an oldie but a goodie

          by deadly ernest ·

          In reply to So I gave you a bullet back did I?

          Tony mate, the biggest problem with engaging in a battle of wits with you is that you have so little ammunition.

          That’s why I have to give you some, to keep the battle going long enough to be interestign and fun.

        • #3214305

          Strange that I was thinking

          by tony hopkinson ·

          In reply to OK this a variant of an oldie but a goodie

          the self same thing.


          Probably the most apt description of me was.

          ‘The only thing bigger than that guy’s head is his ego’.

          Coined by a southerner that was, which shows they aren’t all charmless c***ts.

    • #3215623

      Questions questions questions

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to On a lighter note

      Looking at the maps provided, WHY do all the Road names start with an “A”? Is this to keep people from getting confused by having too much to remember? 😀

      This could be like the Canucks having to order their beer by a colo(u)r as the names are too hard to remember? (Blue) :^0

      “If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

      • #3215615

        Unschooled Americans…..

        by jamesrl ·

        In reply to Questions questions questions

        We had this lesson a few months back. Blue is named after a football team. Do you retain anything?

        I live in a suburb design in the 70s when someone thought it would be cool to name all the streets in a section with names starting with the same letter – the first section built was the A section, the second B etc. I live in the H section, and its clear someone was running out of names. We have Handel, Hector, Hilldale, Huckleberry, etc. The pizza driver hate it, as with all the names sounding similar, you have to rely on maps more.

        Though what I really hate is the calgary way – numbered streets. There is a corner of 16th and 16th – its probably something like 16th ave SW and 16th ST NE. I find it more challenging to navigate.


        • #3215613

          cowtown navigation..

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to Unschooled Americans…..

          SE is the southeast corner.
          SW is the southwest corner.

          them there flatlanders need to do that cause they get lost if they can’t see for hundreds of miles. 😉

          editing to add:

          numbered streets work fine, if you know where the base line is.

          in the lower mainland, the baseline for the avenues is the Canada US Border.
          so 16th ave is 2 miles from the border.

          the numbers for the streets are based on the fraser river for the valley. False Creek for Vancouver and richmond is just screwed.
          they use the western coast of the island and the northern coast for their numbered streets.

        • #3215574

          lol what about

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to cowtown navigation..

          Barnaby park. It’s a lovely park just outside downtown Vancouver. But has, if my mind recollects correctly, no real streetname nor east/west south/north clearyfication. Just Barnaby Park lol but there were 2 of them a real park [i](bushes, lake, tracks, forrest, dear, rabbit, even ducks 🙂 and so on)[/i] and a motorhome park. How’s that for logic 🙂


          [i]edited cause I can’t type my name right any more 🙁 [/i]

        • #3215520

          only yor name? ~l~

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to lol what about

          Burnaby Park.

          avenues run east/west, streets run north/south
          any other label, raod, way, park, parkway, drive… it’s anyone’s guess as to what direction it covers. 😀

          Marine Drive in Vancouver, they say it runs east and west, yet on the compass it’s SSW/NNE [ The Fraser River turns south between New Westminster and Coquitlam, yet the local directions ignore this basic geographic feature that affects the entire area. ]

        • #3214420

          Burnaby park

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to only yor name? ~l~

          I drive by there on my way to our Vancouver(Burnaby) office. Sadly I never have the time to tour it.


        • #3214382

          Robert Burnaby Park [ full name ]

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to Burnaby park

          I’ts actually a fairly small park for this area.

          Personally, I find Central Park in Burnaby to be more interesting to wander around.

          or best of all, Stanley Park in Vancouver itself.

        • #3213709

          Actually it was the

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to Burnaby park

          Caravan/motorhome and trailerpark on Cariboo Road near Burnaby Lake were we stayed. (just did look it up on the map).

          Stanley Park was great aswell, but did some tracks there after our tour trough NW USA, SW Canada and Vancouver Island. Great tour it was 🙂


        • #3214762

          ha ha :)

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to only yor name? ~l~

          okay Burnaby Park. Must be right as you live out there.
          Lol was 10 years ago so … my memory isn’t that good any more, obviously. 🙂


        • #3215588

          Maybe so James

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Unschooled Americans…..

          but us Unschooled Americans STILL think it is as funny as having money that is looney tooney! 😀

          The craziest subdivisions I have seen were in Grand Rapids MI.

          One was named cars, so you could live on Chevell lane.

          Another was trees, all fine and dandy till I saw “Elwood”? A Blues Brothers tribute stuck in there maybe?

          The Calgary way. At least people would have to learn north/south/east/west. It drives me nuts when giving directions and the person can not comprehend anything more complex than straight, right, left. 😀 “North? Is that right or left?”

        • #3215570

          As one of the “directionally challenged”

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to Maybe so James

          I couldn’t tell you where north, south, etc is unless I have a compass in my hand. I wear a ring on my left thumb so that I can tell right from left.

          I am not alone, either.

          I have a map of my closet so that I can find my way out.

          GPS RULES!

        • #3215537

          I’m not the only one!!

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to As one of the “directionally challenged”

          I tell my right from my left by my wedding rings. (that’s why I CAN’T be single 🙂 ).

          I truly have no concept of left and right. North, South, East and West, I don’t have a problem with..left and right..different story.

          When my older son was diagnosed with dyslexia, I did a lot of research on the subject and what I found is that he comes by it honestly. Dyslexia doesn’t necessarily mean that you see or read things backwards, that is just one of the symptoms. I’ve never been diagnosed, but I pretty sure that I’m mildly dyslexic.

          Another thing I have a problem with, is written instructions. I can’t seem to connect what I read when it is in list form. If I see a picture, I can almost instantly understand what should take place, or if someone SHOWS me what to do, I grasp it very quickly. If I have to read the manual? I become a drooling window licker.. 🙂

        • #3215528

          I understand completely

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to I’m not the only one!!

          ADHD generally comes with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalcula in various degrees. The dyslexia doesn’t get me too hard, I have to concentrate to write correctly and still draw certain characters differently. The one that kills me is dyscalcula- mathmatic inability. There are some things that I grasp instantly and others that I struggle with.

          If I see it once, I will remember it always. Have no idea why. I can listen to a craft show- not watch it- and reproduce the item. If I go somewhere once- even as a passenger- I can go back to that place.

          And I need a map of my closet so that I can find my way out. Disheartening, really.

          No Mae- you are far from alone. There are many, many of us out there. You can generally spot the directionally challenged. We tend to wander around looking lost a lot… 🙂

        • #3215502

          what is really odd,

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to I understand completely

          I have dyslexia, a mild case of dyscalcula and astigmatism so I don’t see clearly.

          yet I have an excellent internal nacvigation system.
          I don’t get lost, even when I moved to Toronto for a couple of years, took only an hour before I had myself oriented for finding my way around the city. I had never been there before moving there.

        • #3215499

          I hadn’t heard

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to I understand completely

          the term dyscalcula (made me think of count chocula). But I certainly am with you on that. My math skills are atrocious. Basics are fine, other than that..well, I need help.

          Years ago, a company I worked for had all the employees undergo an 8 hour psychological exam. The company that administered the tests called and asked me to come in to talk to them. (I believe I was 24 or 25 years old at the time). I was terrified. Did I fail THAT badly? What they said, was I could do with studying a math text book, but that overall, my scores were very high. They wanted me to retake part of the test, which was pictures of a shape broken apart in pieces, and you had to choose the correct reassembled shape. I had finished that portion very quickly and got them all right. They wanted me to do it again, in with them watching. I did it again with no problem. How? I have no idea, I just can. Give me the same pieces with step by step instructions on assembling them, forget it.

          I have very good recall for conversations, passages in books, movie lines, etc. Ask me to remember what I ate for dinner last night? It’s gonna take me a minute or two to come up with the right answer.

        • #3215483

          I can only recall supper…

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to I understand completely

          On Saturdays. Steak. Rare cow. Grilled. And a martini.

          Only reason that I know this is that it has become a joke on my 3 Day team. We walk our longest walks on Saturdays. After 15+ miles, the body is screaming for protein.

          I have (half) jokingly said that I have been going senile since 16. That isn’t far from true. There are things that stay with me and things that don’t. I use my PDA religiously.

          An interesting thing- once I have written something down, I don’t have to refer to the note. If I write something down, it is with me forever, it seems.

          The good news is that variations like these are accceptable in the IT world.

        • #3214260

          An easier way to differentiate left and right

          by deadly ernest ·

          In reply to I’m not the only one!!

          hold both arms straight out, palms down.

          Keep both arms still while tipping the hands up from the wrist until they are vertical, so that you are looking at your finger nails.

          Keeping everything else still stick your thumbs out towards each other.

          Now look at the left hand – yeah the one that looks like the letter L – see L for left.

        • #3214190

          I know that one!

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to An easier way to differentiate left and right

          Unfortunately, for me at least, it doesn’t work. Looking at my hands to see a letter takes several seconds for some reason. A glance at the ring on my thumb is immediate.

          It is an odd thing with ADHD- things that I can do intuitively are things that baffle others. But simple things that others can do without thinking leave me baffled.

          I was diagnosed very young and started learning work-arounds almost immediately. I was tested pretty exhaustively lately and was shown how I compensate for the challenging things.

          Would have been nice if it had just “gone away” like they said it would…

        • #3214148

          Hey Mae, when you were diagnosed was it by

          by deadly ernest ·

          In reply to An easier way to differentiate left and right

          a clinical psychologist doing a brain scan or by a pediatrician doing a behaviour check list test?

          I ask because my son was diagnosed by a pediatrician using a text list (scan IV or something like that) as being ADHD – yet a brain scan said he was not. He, like me, does have Aspergers.

          Many people with other Autistic Sydnrome issues, like Aspergers, often present similar sypmtoms as ADHD and ADD but they really are not ADD or ADHD. Those with the rela problem had a noticable difference in the brain scan the Alpha and Gamma waves have a greta difference. That does not stop a lot of Pediatricians continuing to make incorrect diagnosis of people.

          If you do not have the hardwire difference then the use of the Amphetamines etc actually do harm and not good. If you do have the hardwaire problem then the amphetamines do help a lot. I did a lot of reserach on this when my ex wanted my sone dopped with Amphetamines for being ADHD as she could not handle him. Funny thing was, he was only a problem for her, not for me or any other carers.

          Now back to the left hand / right hand.

          You do know that back during the Continental War (what soem calls the War of Independence) a lot of illiterate recruits joined the Continental Army and in training it was found that they did not know their left from their right. So a piece of straw was stuck in the left shoe and the marching call change to reflect that, thus the term Strawfoot meaning not so smarts.

        • #3214128

          Hey Ernest

          by tig2 ·

          In reply to An easier way to differentiate left and right

          The last time I was tested (for about 6 hours) it was determined that I have ADHD (big surprise) and was able to determine that it was responsive to amphetamine therapy. Something in impulse control coupled with focus.

          The truly unfortunate thing is there has been an eagerness to diagnose ADHD or ADD (the two are quite different) and prescribe a “fix”. I agree with you- Aspergers is too frequently missed completely.

          Especially in a child that presents with hyperactivity as a defining clinical symptom, there is less a chance that the necessary additional testing will be done. In some children, hyperactivity is the result of food allergies. Amphetamine therapy will do nothing to help.

          Because of when I was diagnosed, I had repeated EEGs to define wave activity. As I understand it, those results coupled with the exhaustive testing for focus and impulse control provide the basis for definitive diagnosis.

          I am not at all surprised that your ex was willing to jump at medication. While Mellaril can be somewhat effective in controlling behavioral challenges in people with Autism, it is hit or miss with Aspergers- even though Aspergers is considered a form of Autism. Medicating the ADHD child is almost guarenteed- especially in larger families and during the school years.

          Fortunately, you son had an edge- you.

          Always wondered where “Strawfoot” came from…

        • #3212984

          I have not

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to An easier way to differentiate left and right

          been diagnosed with anything. My older son, however, was evaluated by a psychologist and a medical doctor and diagnosed with ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD and Tourette’s Syndrome (he doesn’t swear, he just has/had a mild facial tic). It was through the course of his evaluations that I saw myself in much of it. Zach (my son) has never been treated with amphetamines, at the time, I was told that those drugs could make his Tourette’s Syndrome symptoms worse. This all came about years ago, when he was nearly 8 years old (he’s 19 now) and it was absolutely devestating to me. I had a friend who is a nurse and worked with terminally ill children and she gave me a journal that she keeps to help her deal with the grief that goes along with her job. I got through a few pages and could not read anymore, it was so terribly sad. She told me that she wanted me to read it because I needed a good dose of perspective. And she was right, my son had issues to deal with, but non of them were fatal.

          He’s had a difficult time, and still does to a degree, but he is smart and extremely grounded. I’m hoping that will be enough to help him be a successful adult.

          I know I’ve dealt with ‘focus’ issues, recurring obsessive thoughts (no need to have obsessive type of routines, thankfully) but have found ways to work with the way my mind works, rather than against it.

        • #3212804

          Hey Mae, again, much of the Autistic Sydnrome

          by deadly ernest ·

          In reply to An easier way to differentiate left and right

          has the same social interactions behaviours. 90% of what pediatricians test for in ADHD applies to ADD, Aspergers, Tourettes, and a several other identified issues along the Autistic Syndrome line. It is one of the reasons why the clinical psychologists use the brainwave scans to define ADD and ADHD as it will show as a definite difference there.

          My son was diagnosed at 8 years of age as ADHD, he managed without drugs until I could get my ex to agree to a brain scan and diagnosis by specialists in Sydney when he was 13 years old. They provide ADD and ADHD were not the issue. And their consensus was Aspergers (since then other family members have been identified with Aspergers). Allyn is now 18 going on 19 in January next. He is still developing some ways to cope with society – his biggest problem is that most people speak faster than he can comprehend so he needs a job that relies on the written word and no verbal communications, really easy to find, lol.

          It isn’t easy dealing with the way some people react, they think just because they told him something that he HAS to understand it. Then they get angry when he doesn’t. Some learn to understand some don’t.

          Anyway, best of luck to you and yours.

      • #3215614

        jd, I told you before

        by jaqui ·

        In reply to Questions questions questions

        blue [ Labatts ] is a pilsner, not a beer.
        beer is a lager, and that is CANADIAN :p

      • #3215596

        Answers, Answers, Answers

        by neilb@uk ·

        In reply to Questions questions questions

        The UK road numbering system is based on a series of roads radiating out from London (a similar set in Glasgow numbers up from 7 but we’ll ignore them).

        The A1 goes due North up the right hand side of the country passing through Geordieland on the way to Scotland, the A2 goes Southeast to Dover, the A3 Southwest, etc round to the A6 which goes North up the left hand side. Roads inbetween are usually of two digits, A20 runs fairly near to the A2, the A23 runs due south, etc. The ones inbetween them are three digits. Four digits seem to be reserved for the occasions when the planners REALLY want to screw with us (see A5183 below). The A roads are the main roads, next category is B…

        Some A roads are four-lane highways and some are really narrrow as the size and importance of cities has changed. Which is which? Well, the GREEN ones are usually more “main” than the RED ones – but don’t count on it!

        Motorways (Freeways) begin with M and are usually numbered like the closest A-road. The M1 is pretty close to the A1 for instance, the M23 parallel to the A23.

        So, looking at the map of Newcastle, the A1 [b]used[/b] to go slap through the middle. Roads to the left of the A1 on the map are numbered A6x or A6xx to designate that they are clockwise from the A6 itself. Those to the right of the A1 begin A1. However! Some of the A1 is designated A1M so it’s a Motorway and the bit of the original A1 will have been given another number and some lesser roads might appear to be on the “wrong” side.

        Grids? We don’ need no steenking grids.

        Some things are [b]really[/b] confusing even to the natives. The A5 where it passes through and out of North London has been renumbered A5183 because, because, um… similarly for the A6.

        Actually, it’s so that people won’t see [A5] and think “Hey, that’s a really main road, let’s go that way” whereas it’s a two-lane shopping street with traffic lights every thirty feet. Yeah. So now they sit there saying “which way did the A5 go? Which way did the A5 go?”

        Should you come driving in my fair country then PLEASE feel free to ask any questions that you wish. I get SUCH A LAUGH out of the prospect of Americans on a really good roundabout, say Hemel Hempstead, that I’ll direct you through it.

        Supplied by NITS ™ because even I know how stupid our numbering system is.

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