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Pet Revenges

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by ozi eagle

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Hi,
I started this thread because I've just spent most of a day replacing a water pump in my car. Only five bolts holding it in, but I had to half remove the engine to get at them. My wish of revenge on the designers was to make them have to fix things that they design, then maybe cars and other items would be designed with easier maintenance in mind.

Do yu have any pet revenges that you would like to inflict on someone?

48 replies

by antuck

This had to be a Chevy? I have replaced a few water pumps on Chevys and hated having to remove the front part of the engine just to do so.

by jardinier

just because I have the audacity of being on the road at the same time as they are.

I would like a high-powered water pistol to spray their cars with indelible dye.

[We don't have drive-by shootings in Australia as we don't carry hand guns]

by cbalness

My pet revenge would be to take those obviously height impaired people who design Bus and Theatre seating and make them 7 feet tall, then either send them on a cross continent Bus trip, or make them sit through Docto Zhivaco 11 times on kiddie matinee day.

by gadgetgirl

would like to do just the same to you.....

make you five feet tall, and attempt to get an object from the back of the top shelf at the supermarket.......X-(

and sit behind someone seven feet tall whilst watching a matinee.......X-(

or catch a swinging shop door, when the person in front of you has just let go of it because they "just didn't see you there....." X-(
(yes, multiple times, and even caused a broken arm):_|

I could go on, you just got onto one of my pet peeves. However, this is Friday, not SoapBox Day.... All you giants out there, consider yourself lucky....

Or I could just raise myself to my full height, and head-butt you in the......kneecaps....;)

GG

by #1 kenster

Have them do both, then get on a flight half way around the world sitting in the back row of coach where the roof slopes. Hell, throw in some kids there also. When they arrive have them go camping in the snow. They will stick out of their sleeping bags and freeze their tall butts off. Throw some kids in the tent to give them something to listen to while they bump their heads.... Short change them....

by jamesrl

Living in the country we used to do a short beep on the horn to say hello. Those were the days.

Couple of days ago, I was on a major road and trying to turn left across three lanes of traffic. Its a rather large intersection and some people know that they don't stop in the intersection if they can help it - they will stop even though they have a green light - it is the law but not well enforced. So at the time two lanes had people stopped. I couldn't see the third lane that well because of the trucks in the second lane. So I didn't attempt to cross.

A Porche Cayenne SUV (Porsche making an SUV is a sign of the coming apocolypse) behind me laid on the horn and started to edge towards me. He practically pushed me into the traffic. And of course the inevitable happens - a van (just like mine) is coming up the third lane and into the intersection(they can't see me either). Thankfully we saw each other in time.

I'd hate to wish this on anyone, but I hope some day this guy gets into an accident in his hideously expensive machine and spoils it. I don't want physical harm but he should learn a lesson about sharing the road.

James

by jmgarvin

Those people deserve what they get (and it will be an expensive ticket, a raise in insurance, and a nice repair bill).

I had a similar thing happen. I had a BMW SUV (whatever they are called) behind me. I drive a Tacoma, so I'm not small. I was in the RIGHT lane and they were riding me like I was going 2mph (I was doing 85mph in a 75mph...I was in a hurry...) They flashed their lights and beeped, but WOULDN'T FRIGGIN PASS ME (the left lane was clear)...Then they get all huffy when I pass a slower moving semi and they get stuck behind it.

Finally to show how "cool" they are, they decide to pull up beside me and give me the finger before speeding off.

Apparently, the've never heard of the LEFT LANE FOR PASSING...jeez...

by tryten

I came across someone like that also driving one of those Cayenne SUVs. I have a 1980 K5 Chevy Blazer with a lift kit on it (a REAL SUV) that i putter around it from time to time (when I have the extra cash for gas).

I was going to turn right at a red light but a pickup was headed my way so I waited. The a**h**e in the Cayenne behind me lays into his/her horn and just holds it there. This angers me so where the truck passes I stayed in place and decided to have some patience and wait for the light to change.

Meanwhile this guy/girl NEVER lays off the horn and it just pushed me into a whole other dimension of Major Psychotic F**king Hatred.

Sooo I put the Blazer in reverse and started backing up....rapidly.

Nothing sounds better that the screeching tires of the SUV wannabe behind you trying to get the hell outta the way of a vehicles whos rear bumper is windshield height to most other vehicles.

I am glad to say that we missed the green light and waited through another red light...he/she never touched the horn again.

by jardinier

This was my first motor vehicle. It had heavy plate steel fenders front and rear.

When I was stationary at the lights on one occasion there was a minor accordion collision. The vehicles in front of me and behind me were damaged. My car was unscathed.

Oh how I wish I had fenders like that today -- just get in front of the horn tooter and hit the brakes and watch his front crumple. He would be in the wrong for not driving a safe distance behind me.

by jdclyde

that some people are alive today simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I know people like that! ]:)

by gadgetgirl

I'll have you know I'm very particular about where my head butts people....

now, just lean down over here a bit more....

]:)

GG

by dmambo

I would like to be my grandfather around 1931 so I could give my father a haircut when he was 12!

"Martha, get me that big bowl from the kitchen."

by bob in calgary

Going off topic

We were camping in a tent a few years ago with our dog, The dog woke my wife up in the early hours of the morning to go outside, she woke me I swore at the dog went back to sleep.

Dog woke me at 8 p$ssing on my head, Now that is REAL PET REVENGE

by stargazerr

Thanx to the mini opening ... I can never get the last drop out of the can...

What?? What are you guys staring at me for?? Excuse me but I like to finish what I start (including drinking coke :D )

by jdclyde

and not that STUPID plastic crap either! What retard thought making your product taste like crap to save a few pennies on packaging was a good idea?

If you know this person, please please please, slap them for me. daily. Repeatedly. hard.

Glass bottles are the only way to go for soda AND beer.

by stargazerr

Since I am going to buy a sledgehammer anyway (got to straighten someone out ;) ) ... I can use the same sledgehammer on the plastic bottle and can guy...... :D

by gsteve

I recently went to Haiti on a mission trip, and one of the few luxuries we had was a (reasonably) steady supply of Coke available to us. They were bottled (I guess it's safe to drink the bottled stuff - unlike the water, etc) in glass.
How sweet... :)
I believe this was the first time I had ever drank soda from a glass bottle. I can't wait to go back!
(yeah, there are other reasons, too, but the Coke was really good!) :)

by jamesrl

If I had to do it all over again, I'd just ignore them and then when i cleared the intesection, slow down to 30 kms an hour.

There are plenty of rude dudes in Toronto. Lots of street racers who think rush hour is the time for weaving practise.

And its not like I am a turtle, I drive over the limit but only as fast as I judge conditions allow. The trouble is many of these idiots have no judgement for these things.

Was a passenger in another car last week, on Yonge street -Toronto's main street - on a very long block in heavy traffic. An oncoming car wanted to cross the lanes in front of us, and because traffic wasnt moving much we let an opening happen in front of us. The person nosed through and then tried to push across the other two lanes. She was broadsided by someone talking on the phone driving up the outside lane. Can you assess 100% blame to both parties?

James

by antuck

I always like to slow down to the speed limit at that time. I really hate when they jump on your tail when another lane is open. Usually this drives them nuts when you slow down. When they start flashing lights I like to wave back at them. Then when they finially pull there heads out of there a$$ and pass. I like to turn and smile giving a nice wave back. By then you can really see the smoke pouring out of there ears. I'll watch for the realy stupid part when they cut back in front of you.

by jck

let's see...

Turning around the guys' X1/9 in the parking space sideways in high school so he couldn't leave for lunch until someone else moved their car?

Putting the broken down 1950s ford on the school sidewalk with slogans about the principal painted on it because he'd been a pain to us the entirety of our senior year.

Programming someone's mouse to work backwards.

that's a few

by jdclyde

I have a cool screen saver that looks just like a windoze XP crash. It then appears to reboot, post, and then blue screen again and again and again.

It finally stops when you hit a key, so you just unplug the keyboard...... ]:)

by Member 25348569

if one of the users is annoying.

Printscreen the desktop and set as wallpaper, hide all desktop icons and set the taskbar to auto-hide after moving it to the top of the screen.

by jck

whatever happened to just good ole poo in a flaming bag on the front porch?

by ozi eagle

Years ago when PCs were young and Windows hadn't been invented, I had a small program that was setup to run at boot, that came up with a message saying that there is a problem with water in the hard drive, please wait while it is being fixed. Then there was the glugging sound of a bottle emptying, followed by the whirring noise of a spin dry cycle. It finished and then the computer came alive.
You should have seen the faces on users when they first turned on after sneaking this program in.

Wish I still had it!

by dryflies

of a persons desktop. move all their desktop icons into the unused desktop items folder. make the screenshot their background. By the time they figure it out, you will have full knowledge of their entire vocubulary.

by sleepin'dawg

Get a hose and start filling it with water. Monday morning you can't enter the office and you have a b1tch of a problem getting rid of the water. Another one is to fill the office doorway with blocks of ice and then throw a bucket of water over them causing them to stick together. There's more but that'll do for now. Don't want to create any suburban TR terrorists.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by jdclyde

1) take a can of FOAM shaving cream.

Freeze it.

Cut the bottom off.

Put in co-workers desk.

drawer will be very impressive in two to three hours!

----------------------------------

2) put a clove of garlic or a piece of onion in the reciever of someones phone.

Wait a few hours

Call them, keep them on the line for a long time!

by gsteve

I have found that flipping the display on the monitor 90 degrees could be a very nasty trick to play on someone... ]:)

by montgomery gator

..is at eye level, one advantage for short men. I would have to find a woman who is at least 6 ft 8 in tall to have some of good stuff at eye level. :-)

Midget men have it even better as far as what is at eye level.

by jmgarvin

My chairman needs a good...uh....fixin' ;-)

(I love her to death...great boss...but this is a prank sure to make her...uh...happy??? ya...ya...that's it)

by jdclyde

to disable the "windows button" to keep them from pressing that.

Hmmm, a capture of the ctrl+alt+del would go nicely too.

by dmambo

A couple of my friends and I did it to the home of a HS peer whom we didn't like too much. Years later, the house was bought by my best friend's little brother.

by sleepin'dawg

Neil you have a mean and nasty streak in you. I'd seen that done before but it had slipped my mind. Thanks for reminding me.

[b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

by ozi eagle

or .. just sticky tape the off hook button down, and watch when they try to answer a call

by Member 25348569

A few years ago, a customer "caught" me with a "dribble-cup" so I got tea down my shirt.

I loaded a program onto his PC that flashed up a sex scene for about 1/10th of a second at random intervals and then told everyone else in the office to deny having seen this image.

We had him to the point of fixing up an appointment with his doctor before we let him in on the joke.

Never, ever take the p:ss out of someone who has control of your PC.

]:)

by jamesrl

I've mentioned this one before, but we had someone in the cube farm who had his speakers up way too loud and we decided to get even.

Our mac based mail system was quickmail and it would play any sound attachment to an email automatically. We had someone record the infamous orgasm scene in the restaurant from "When Harry met Sally" where Sally convinces Harry that women can and do effectively fake it all the time.

It played when he clicked on the message - he had to get up and pull the plug on the computer. After that he turned the volume way down, and we told him how to turn off the autoplay feature.

James

by jdclyde

A buddy of mine works in an autoshop.

On day, the guy that had messed with his girlfriend came in for work on his car, not knowing my bud worked there. He stayed out of sight until the jerk had left, leaving his car to get "fixed".

So, after fixing the car, he then took off the front quarter pannel, and welded a weight on the end of a spring, and welded that to the body. Then put the quarter pannel back on.

When he drives over a bump, he hears this metalic "clunk", and last I heard had replaces just about everything in the front end trying to get rid of that clunk.

by ozi eagle

How about 2 metres of tinned copper wire, with a small blob of solder at one end and the other end soldered to a mate's roll of solder? Watch the fun when he tries to solder something, checks the iron for heat etc.

by gsteve

Hows about the Fuel Filter I tried to change on my Ford F-150 (sometimes I forget I am not a car mechanic, I am a computer geek...)

After trying to pry the darn thing off with my own measly tools, I find out there is a special tool you have to buy to get the filter off. So, I go out and purchase the tool. Once home, I go back under the truck and start using this tool...the tool snaps in half! The cheap thing!

I'm all for supporting american made products and all that...but it seems like more and more they are making automobiles so that you HAVE to bring them to your local dealer (who will be glad to charge you 4x much for repairs, at least!). I smell conspiracy...do you smell that? :)

Anybody got a nice OLD GMC 1/2 ton they want to trade for a 98 F-150? It's got a new fuel filter!!

P.S. my buddy ended up cutting off the old filter at the two ends, and clamping the new one to some fuel line on each end. What a true friend.

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