Prestige and backstabbing

the buzz saw. You can always post your questions here or in the Tech Q&A and the folks here will probably know how to help you.

That way you can get the answers here and look really cool to your users.

I am not going to justify the crappy non co-operative behaviours, but I think I have insight as to why it happens.

If you want people to pull together on a common goal (project wise), you have to make them participate in the creation and definition of that goal.

I would think your example is one where you are judged by customer service, and the people you are asking to help are not. Thats a managment fault - even if you don't directly work with users, you are still responsible for customer satisfaction.

James

tape record each of them badmouthing the others.. then get them all into one room and play the recordings back..with the management there.

then state:

This is an example of bad teamwork, and should be ended. We are professionals, we should be able to work together even if we don't like each other.

then, walk out of the room.

Getting involved in workplace drama can be entertaining and even energizing, but it's like taking a bad drug. You'll feel bad later, you'll regret it, you won't have accomplished anything, and you might have shown a side of yourself that you would rather not make public.

The last thing you want is to become their common enemy. They'll make peace and form a temporary alliance all right: just long enough to take you down.

Your biggest advantage is that you are miraculously above all this: you get along with all of them. Use that, don't blow it off.

People who look down on ALL of their peers are fueled by insecurities. Since they've all got the same problem, it's probably rooted in something in the workplace. Track it down. Low pay? Poor promotional opportunities? No recognition? No training? Overwork? Forced to compete with each other? Stupid bosses? High-stress environment? Multiple factors, is this just an all-around rotten place to work?

This won't be a difficult mystery to solve. Just get them talking, listen politely, and they'll tell you why they feel this way in short order.

That's the easy part, of course. Then you have to figure out how to use that information to the advantage of everyone. The key is not to become one more selfish member of this tribe, but to make sure that everyone benefits from a successful project, in a way that means something to THEM.

You can always come back here when you get to that part.

One mitigating factor is I do not have authority and I have no permissions on certain servers. I'm not even the administrator of my own workstatioon. Workstations are locked for all end users.

Another mitigating factor is that the end user and I are blue collars and the others are white collars.

The current situation for me is like the stone of a cherry being squeezed between the thumb and the forefinger. It might break, it might stay under pressure or it might start moving sideways

You may have to change your name again. You didn't want to be a TOG but you're an OG twice so far in this discussion. What will you try next? How about just plain Old? :D

funny (sarcastic in a fun way). It's another way of saying you need to keep your daytime job because you wouldn't make it as a comedian. Or, instead of having a real comedian we have you instead.
:)

There have been many great comedy teams. Lewis and Martin. Abbott and Costello. Jerry and Seinfeld. Jekyll and Hyde. Leave the humor to me. You can be my setup man. :)

He fires his co workers ... Take it from an experienced person ... :D

]:)

I was thinking that you resigned. ?:|

Hmm... now we have a OG and a SG.

I am merely on a sick leave .. :x

SG ?? Good .. I like that. Better than UG (Us_geeks) . Add an h and it becomes Ugh ... :D

]:)

Oh yeah... you're sick. I can attest to that. Did you go to work today? BTW, you're welcome for the thank you for the get well wish. Or not. ??? :_| LOL Trying to be thoughtful... < another booming yawn >

SG is better than starg? Damn, how'd I miss thinking of the "ug" nickname when you weren't formerly known as us_geeks_rule? Or ugr. Hell, everyone dropped the ball on that one. Most everyone used "us_g". And they complain about underscores in MY name.

and it worked .... I am quite a bit better .. Good enough to come to the office .... :( ... I wouldnt give excuses as to why I didnt say Thank You before ... I have been a bad girl

]:)

P.S I blame it on the cold :p

Been bad for quite a while now. Or a lazy little bum. Or a bad lazy little bum. < yawns vociferously > (That's even bigger than a booming yawn.) Where's a bored emoticon when you need one?

PLEASE (being very humble, bending on one knee ................................ ready to spring :D )

]:)

You've backed me into a corner. I'll take the easy way out and rely on my handy friend at dictionary .com:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=bored

Deafening silences are soooo boring. Something much less boring is you getting ready to spring. ]:)

by reading the first few lines on the link you gave (waaay too lazy to read all of it in one sitting :D) ... It seems to me that you plan to bore a hole somewhere ... Planning a trip to India by boring a hole through the middle of the earth?? ;)

]:)

I scoured the Internet all morning for a definition and you didn't even read the whole thing? I'm starting to think you have ADD. But since you hate math, how could you have ADD? haha

Interesting thing that the word "boring" has two definitions. Why in the world would I want to bore a hole to India? Uh...are you planning to move back to India? ;) Nothing else there but elephants and grass huts and geeky software developers. :^O I gotta admit that boring a hole through the center of the earth wouldn't be boring at all. It would be damn exciting.

No wonder your boss has been cribbing about you ;)

When you are done with the trip to the sun in your rocket ... you can use it to shoot to wherever you decide to bore a hole to ... :D

Or have you made the rocket durable for a second trip to the sun (in case you dont singe your hair properly the first time)

]:)

You keep coming up with ideas for design changes. I'm never going to get this thing off the ground.

and plan on all the things you need to do for the rocket ... at least you have one less thing to think about .. My pink fuzzy slippers ... :^O

How ARE Farney and Blipper by the way?? (Is that right?? )

]:)

Last time you called them Flarney and Bipper... Thanks for asking about my two best friends. If you'd be keeping up with my worldly popular blog, you'd know that Barney had surgery about a week ago. But he's tougher than even I am and he's recovering nicely.

BTW, I'm glad to see that you're no longer trying to push that godawful slippers off onto me. (Where's that "whew!" icon when you need it?)

BTW #2, I'm glad you're feeling better. Even though that means you have to go to work. :|

I knew something was wrong ... need to follow blogs more closely ...

I glad that your best friend is regaining his health ... Did he need any Titanium parts?? Did u loan yours?? I just wish mine hadnt left me without even saying goodbye ...

My Dog died when I had gone to study to another city ..

Why?? why?? why?? why did I have to get well enough to come back to the office ... and I am not well really .. My breath of life are the nasal drops I use ....
]:)

I'm sorry to hear your dog decided to leave you when you weren't home. That had to be damn sad. It would have killed me. If you can't have a dog where you're living now, you can e-adopt one of my dogs. Which one do you e-want? e-Barney or e-Flipper? This gives me an idea for something to do with my business degree. I'll open an online pet adopting business. e-pets.com

I've decided to use my blog for my book. I have about 10 long chapters already written. And I won't need to rely on a co-author. B-)

My dog didn't need any titanium to put him back together again. Just a few stitches. It would have been cool though. Bionic Guy Some hotshot Hollywood producer could have made a movie about us. Bionic Guy and his Bionic Dog. I even would have settled for Bollywood. You have connections to Bollywood. Maybe you could have used them to get a movie deal. ;)

You're still feeling ill? Damn, I should be a poet with all the rhymes that magically pop into my head.

Actually it sounds like you just gave yourself a new job function - client (or system user) advocate. The role of the advocate is heroic, but generally tragic. But there's ways of getting things done without getting noticed.

If you are astute enough to sense the 'attitudes' of the people around you, you might consider using that insight to suggest to the system user some way they can 'tweak' the system to get things done. Sometimes you have to stand in the spotlight, and sometimes you get more done directing matters 'backstage'.

For example in this case determine who has the most skill (the largest percentage of the skill mix that is needed). Is there something your system user can offer that person. Is there a 'chain of command' that your system user can take advantage of (get my boss to talk to your boss sort of thing). The System User should consider using flattery. It's terribly unsubtle, but the bigger the ego you're dealing with the more likely it is to succeed, and just add the faintest dash of 'I spoke to that 'other fellow' but he didn't seem to know what he was talking about'. Just as long as it's not sufficiently damming for the 'target' IT guy/gal to feel that their profession is being dammed.

I've got a blog article somewhere about using Clients to drive organisational change. Sometimes it simply comes down to numbers. There's usually a lot more systems users than IT service deliverers, they just need motivating - and you as a man they trust might just be the man to do it. Ever so quietly...

Cheers and good luck. Tban

Cool Idea ... I wouldnt dream of adopting any of your pets ... Could you provide me with a pet martian?? A Standard Green one with long antaennae and huge eyes ..??

And please dont be dissapointed in me ... You will have the next chapter by tommorow ... I will even go as far to reading your blogs ... (whew :p)

]:)

Message edited and deleted

Martians live on Mars. I thought I was going to the sun. Now you're redirecting me to Mars to kidnap a Martian? Am I the the one who recently mentioned something about the whimsical female species? Couldn't have been me. Why would I think such a thing?

Oh, is that how you make the "whew" emoticon, like this (whew :p). I was looking for that a day or two ago. Thanks for finding it for me. :p

You need to stay above the fray. 99% of the time, I don't respond to someones comment about another.I may agree wholeheartedly with them, but I find it drags me down to their level and sucks me in. I have enough problems doing my job w/o getting caught in the vacuum.
As far as mgmt. is concerned, they seem to have a 'don't ask, don't tell, don't give a ...t policy.

Forgive me for asking but what are the internal procedures at your employer regarding inter-departmental work? If you experience problems in this direction, make sure that you can demonstrate them. It is not your problem that people don't like each-other, or calling each-other dirty names. It is their problem. Your problem is that you need to resolve a problem sometimes by escallating it higher in the food chain. Don't be discouraged by people's attitudes. You know what your job is and you know (ask if you don't) what the procedures are. If they fail to do what is required, have your manager to explain them the basics of LART (in this case L would stand literary for loser). A good manager will make them work for their money in no time.

Have you thought about bringing this up the chain? I see this as a management issue, and the leadership of the organization would be wise to keep a portion of their budget set aside for conflict management issues. This isn't an aberration, it's a common problem -- and the IT world is particularly suited for conflict management. External agencies might be able to see deeper problems and assist management in building an action plan that brings teams back together.

Question:
How do you diffuse workplace conflict?

My response:

In every work environment their is always the element of conflict among workers. This is a natural human possibility! However, all conflicts/disputes have a solution.

In some enterprises their is a system of 'Mediation' to help alleviate disputes between workers. This type of approach is welcomed by most employers, even though few are willing to use it, if they feel the problem is no going to go away afterwards.

Some organizations have a worker's representative body called a "Trade Union." This organization is usually recognized by both parties as the 'conflict mediator,' and members are encouraged to follow the rules for accessing this service, and respect the organizational authority procedures when trying to get disputes addressed.

By and large, most conflicts can be avoided if the supervisor is vigilant, and facilitates harmony under his/her watch. However, some supervisors use the divide and rule tactic to assert themselves, or in-directly play favorites when dealing with employees under their charge. And this can create a climate that is ripe for conflict of many sorts.

Finally, it is always best for the management in every organization/enterprise, to establish a channel or procedure to deal with conflict, in the absence of a recognized Worker's Union Representative.

Derryck S. Griffith.
Greenwich Village.
New York City.

17 years of IT...I have seen a lot of squabble. I would not go to their managers. The person who suggested tape recording the slams...bad idea. I have been through these squabbles many times in various positions and there is not good answer...so be true to yourself instead. Staying out of it does not mean you have to listen to it. I have always made it my personal policy to remind someone how unprofessional it is to involve me in their squabbles in this manner. I also ask them to go to their manager if they feel so strongly about a person having wronged them. 99% of the time I never hear the person making statements again and I achieve my work objective. Teamwork requires "everyone" to make an effort to keep the workplace civil and professional. IMHO

Often in our society today we see competition that is not healthy. When we have good people in different places that don't react right when working together, it's usally because they really haven't got ot know each other. It's to your advantage to show them how much better they can do as a team. If they work together they will soon learn that lesson. You just need to get the process started. Also don't listen to gossip, rise above that. Show that you care about both parties.

They both need to be sat in a corner and given a time out. They are acting like 4 year olds and should be treated as such until they prove otherwise. If that doesn't work it needs to be explained to both of them that they can be replaced with more team oriented people very easily. Nobody is irreplaceable.

I have been cought in the middle of turf battles like this in the past. My first step is to try a friendly e-mail requesting assistance. Note I said e-mail, not phone call. You want a record to CYA. If the e-mail gets you the response you need to resolve the client's problem, the issue is solved for you. If you get no response or something negative that leaves the problem unresolved, send a second e-mail, copying the first AND restating the problem, stating that you're not sure they understood the request the first time. Make sure your supervisor and the supervisor of the person you requested help from are CC'd on the message. Any additional reluctance to help should prompt you to get your supervisor to handle the issue if you are "blue-collar". That's what the white-collars get paid for. DON'T get involved in personal squabbles between people outside your area, as it can easily escalate into dragging you and your department into a turf battle you have no business in, and won't make you popular with your boss. Always keep accurate records of your conversations when treading in a war zone like this.

When I've got people in my company being whiney and witchy with each other, I just remind them that our nametags ALL have the same logo on them... and that the same name is on ALL of our paychecks....

Then I remind them that

1) Here's a task that needs to be completed
2) Here's someone who can help someone else get a handle on it
3) Get it done.

This is especially important on those days when a networked printer goes down and I'm either off or 70 miles away.... I remind them where there are other printers and that they can call another office and have them run the report and then fax it to them... or they can drive the 5 mile distance and run it themselves.... ALL the computers belong to OUR company....

It has gotten much better in the year and a half I've been the IT person for this company.... we've got 7 buildings spread out over a 70+ mile distance.... so they've had to learn to be tolerant and patient... AND to work together to the betterment of the entire company... it's a new concept for many of them... for sure!!

When I can't help someone with their app, and they don't have paid-for factory support, I can usually find a community on www.tek-tips.com for them - and they're happier for it.

Well I'm a female and IT is mostly populated with men, so I'm grateful to be a female working with mostly men as I don't have to be involved in these cat fights. I can tell you tho, that some men can be just as bad as women in this sense and I did work with a group of guys who were very dysfunctional, gossiped as much if not more than women, and were constantly fighting with each other bringing everyone down in our very small department. So I don't know if that is just a female thing.

I wish I could do things like that, but I can't.
My strategy is being kind, and helpful

time out

You have to be up front and let both of your coworkers know that it make you feel uncomfortable when he or she speaks badly of the other. That should at least keep the non sense from you.

My company has all that and more. I am friendly with all and have learned to state "I don't wish to be involved in your battle with so and so and just need some help" Can you help me?

Usally throws them off, and I get the help.

Hi local support!
Sounds like you are one of those folks that gets along with the majority and goes with the flow? I think you can continue the positive attitude and have an influence on getting a resolution. When someone starts bad-mouthing I will interject with "that's odd, my experience has been different" and will try to highlight something that went well about the person being bad-mouthed. I'd also emphasize the ultimate goal (making your customer happy). Unfortunately not everyone is willing to play nice or act like adults... and that is why we have Managers! If they don't respond... then there is HR and if that doesn't work, I guess there is always www.monster.com.
Good Luck!

I found a "Peacemaker's Brochure" in PDF format free to download (http://bookstore.peacemaker.net/html/Peacemaker_Brochure.pdf) It has been very practical --espcially page 2 -- in understanding diferent responses to conflict and provides practical help. The first step to resolving conflict is recognizing how we are responding and choosing to move to a productive response.

Well you can't ignore it and you can't play along either. The only right and peaceful thing to do is stop it right where it starts, just in a kind way if possible. When anyone says anything to you about someone else, just tell them, "Gee, you know, I kind of like (ie: Bill), so if you don't mind, and I have always found it most helpful if I had a problem with someone, that I say it directly to that someone. You might try that." You will find that gossiping slow to a screeching halt in your office. Makes a pretty nice work place....Good Luck!! Linda