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ok so what would be some good topics for reply templates?

I forgot the Windows administrator's password

How do I __________

[this is not a template]

46 replies

by tig2

Please provide the following information:
Computer Make and Model
Operating System
Configuration
Exactly what dumba$$ thing you did to cause it to stop working
Your credit card details so that I may bill for my time

Please keep in mind that if you "help" me fix your computer, there is an additional fee.

What do you think?
:D

by older mycroft

My granddad's/granny's/uncle's/aunt's/father's/mother's/brother's/sister's/whatever's computer doesn't __________

by tig2

See above post to Nonapeptide. It will work here as well.

by thumbsup2

And, don't forget the good old....

How do I get my Vista computer to network/see/share files with my XP/2K/ME/98SE/98/95/MAC computer?

by tig2

Would look something like this:

You don't.

See? Easy!

by thumbsup2

It sure seems as if Vista is not compatible with anything else. It takes more and more experience to deal with it's sillyness.

I've often thought about writing something like:

[i]It would take far too long to explain it to you. Give up while you're ahead![/i]

But then, I have to stop and think that it was a short 13 1/2 years ago (Win 3.11 days) when I had to ask my OEM the same question. Thank goodness for their patience with me.

So, I keep telling myself, everybody is a "newbie" at something, somewhere, and we all have to start somewhere.

by nonapeptide

1. Spyware / Virus Response
(If anyone has an issue that we suspect is due to a virus or some other malware. BleepingComputer.com and CastleCops have some good sticky threads that we could point people to for a complete shake-down of their computer)

2. Recovering files that were accidentally deleted.

3. Connecting to a wireless network

How's that?

by tig2

It included the name and number of a senior in Microsoft security but was presented as the contact details of someone who could help. He tended to pull it out for activation key questions.

by rob miners

never seem to be hacking Linux. Or is that just my observation.

by tig2

It isn't like you to forgot a password. :D

A template reply:

Please contact your System Administrator for assistance. If you ARE the System Administrator, please contact your HR Department for information on re-training or unemployment (employer's discretion).

:D

See? Nice and civil!

by tig2

You're playing with the thumbs again! Between you and Pond Scum, the thumb numbers have significantly increased.

You realize that Beth may catch you at this and spank you, don't you? Or are you counting on everyone being off for the holidays?

Speaking of, hope yours was wonderful!

by cg it

besides it WAS a helpful answer....

this is not a template :)

by tig2

Between you and Pond Scum, I just might make it to 100 before the end of the year!

Kinda makes up some for all the times that I have answered questions that were never marked. I always wonder if the OP even bothers to read the responses received!

P.S. I would never use a template on you. I just have to increase my typing speed! :D

by rob mekel

just a small question ... Is this the fair play we can expect next year?

Rob

by churdoo

Well let's not forget all the questions about RAID, basic concepts of which is covered in A+ certification.

I give CG an A+.

by churdoo

... all the times I've answered well and didn't get a thumb. We don't get paid for this so thumbs is our payment! :-)

Thanks CG, and Happy New Year to All!

by ashishs

Paper jams
Squeaky gears
Black marks on documents

My favorite is when a user calls me and asks me to bring the small vac to suck all the toner from the printer & the desk because it is dangerous to be around the toner.

by tig2

I find that I end up being the printer monitor in virtually every office I work in. I seem to be the only person on the floor that can clear jams, load paper, clear an error code, replace toner, and more.

But toner being dangerous? THAT I have never heard before.

by ashishs

if that clears things up about toner being dangerous. We see all sorts of things here so I just laugh (inside of course) when I see the old ladies circled around the toner with a shocked look on their faces.

by the scummy one

particualtes which get stuck in your lungs. 1 study last year (I think it was) showed that printers can cause lung cancer or something like that. When working close to large or old laser printers, especially in an area that is not well ventilated, may cause respiratory harm.

Of course, the study was shoddily done, covering many models but inconsistant with its findings.

Edited to add:
But from my understanding, this was for airborne tonor particles, not settled on a surface.

Also note: -- Laser printers catch most of the toner particles IF the filter is changed when recommended. Many tech's or office personell do not change these filters when replacing parts (such as a maintenance kit).

by cg it

but in the spirit of the Holiday Season...

hope Beth doesn't get mad...

by the scummy one

I am just replying right now. But no need to send more my way.

Merry Christmas, and thanks anyway!

by tig2

I noticed that too. Nor do they seem to be hacking Macs.

Maybe only Windows is vulnerable?

by rob miners

certainly looks that way. Obviously Mac & Linux Admins have a far better memory they dont seem to forget passwords.

by tig2

Unix and it's structure are at the heart of those two systems. I think that the requirements of the systems encourages folks to remember non-trivial information... like the passwords!

Another vote for Unix!

by ashishs

Somebody locked my account. Can you unlock it?
Someone put a password on my admin account. How to crack it.
Someone put a password on bios. How can I break it.
How to crack msn/yahoo/g-mail accounts?

by tig2

We could find "someone" and just give that bugger a good thrashing? That rat causes way too many problems!

by ashishs

because if it isn't someone who did it, its "They said to do it" excuse. Or have you ever heard this one..."I don't know about computers as much as you but I know just enough to be dangerous!". Every IT person should have the right to slap the other person for saying that.

by tig2

I used to be a nurse in Emergency. We understood as much technology (in general) as we were required to work with. If anything went wrong with the system- even the most basic of things- we yelled for help. Very clear division of duties, there!

Oh well. At least it's good for that internal laugh!

by tig2

Right after we beat the snot out of Someone, "They" is next on my target list! "They" is some brat that calls itself support and then tells the user to trash the pc!. I hate "They" just as much as I hate "Someone".

And the guy who knows enough to be dangerous SHOULD get a slap from every real tech in the world. I wish we could take that to the next logical step and lock those dangerous users away!

I'm feeling a rant coming on...

by the scummy one

Since I left IT, I am both 'someone' and 'they'!!!

and since I tell people (here) to trash their systems, electrocute themselves, and destroy their monitor, I am truly at the top of the list then...

Oh boy, time to start hiding!!!

by the scummy one

I have limited it quite a bit.

But I fear Beth anyways....

Luckily, if I lose Pond Scum to >recycled user then I still have W2k....

by rob miners

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Ok.
Nut on keyboard has come loose. How to fix?

Can't find Anykey!

Do I have to turn on the computer to use the Keyboard? I really am energy conscious.

I keep hitting 'escape,' but I'm still here.

by the scummy one

for templates

Home network setup W and without wifi

cannot copy/read cd/dvd

cannot find other home computer over network

cannot find other home computer over wifi

slow computer

Display issues

BSOD

rebooting computer

by the scummy one

however it is airborne particles to be concerned about. The toner particulates cling to your lungs.

However touching toner is harmless, breathing it can cause serious problems.

So, take not: If you walk by a printer that is puffing toner, or see a toner cloud -- stay away, and keep others away. Cover your mouth/nose with cloth or something if you need to breathe in the immediate area until the toner settles.

by the scummy one

I have heard those many times. The "I don't know about computers as much as you but I know just enough to be dangerous" one especially. I always think to say "Well if you know that you know enough to be dangerous, then you should know when to stop".

by boxfiddler

my computer?
my Internet connection?
program A, B, or C?
my keyboard?
my mouse?
No sound!

My hard drive is clicking (at least I think it is my hard drive). What's up with this?

Screen is black on bootup.

etc...

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