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April 19, 2005 at 8:51 am #2187338
Robots replaced by monkeys
Lockedby itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
So a monkey walks in wearing a kevlar vest and says…..
who knows, but we may soon.
http://www.local6.com/news/4392864/detail.html
I just had to share this
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April 19, 2005 at 9:40 am #3248396
I can see it now…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
… a little klepto SWAT recconoissance “officer.” Trained to pick locks, identify victims, and steal anything shiny.
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April 19, 2005 at 9:51 am #3248391
but…
by itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to I can see it now…
Why the kevlar vest? why bother?
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April 19, 2005 at 9:59 am #3248389
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April 19, 2005 at 10:02 am #3248384
PETA
by itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Animal cruelty
I’m about 1 mile from PETA headquarters. I can imagine there will be something in the news if they catch wind of this.
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April 19, 2005 at 10:12 am #3248374
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April 19, 2005 at 10:14 am #3248373
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April 19, 2005 at 9:58 am #3248390
They need them for military too
by oz_media · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
Can’t shoot friendlies with a banana.
Can’t wait to see all the Disney action films though. Cedric the happy monkey in “SWAT 16, Destruction in Florida!” Arnold, Sylvester and Bruce Willis will be looking for new action movie careers soon.
Now that I think of it, a SWAT movie where a monkey replaces Keanu Reeves would actually be worth watching for once. Probably be able to handle more dialogue than Keanu too!
Does that mean the video game S.W.A.T. will have monkeys now?
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April 19, 2005 at 10:16 am #3248370
The new buddy movie…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to They need them for military too
Keanu and Cedric the monkey in “SWAT 69” no wait… that’s the one on my hubby’s website.
[i]edited for clarification[/i] Actually, my hubby’s site has very strict, no beast-porn and no kiddie-porn rules, post either and you and your entire IP family are banned for life.
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April 19, 2005 at 10:17 am #3248369
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April 19, 2005 at 1:03 pm #3248304
Sure
by oz_media · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to The new buddy movie…
Nice save Jessie! 😀
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April 19, 2005 at 1:40 pm #3248273
That is discrimination
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to The new buddy movie…
Animals need love too.
Just some more frequently than others.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:42 pm #3248269
His site, His rules…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to That is discrimination
…Like it!
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April 19, 2005 at 1:47 pm #3248264
Speaking of which
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to His site, His rules…
So how is the business coming along?
getting a steady stream of hits?
Good advertisers yet?
Is he ready to buy a jag yet?
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April 19, 2005 at 2:48 pm #3248222
It’s decent
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Speaking of which
It works out to paying about as well as a part time IT job… too bad he spends 16 hours a day on the dang thing!! But at least he’s his own boss and doesn’t have to deal with the corporate BS… the price of sanity I guess.
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April 20, 2005 at 6:08 am #3249090
Amen
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
It’s why I got out of private sector and won’t go back into until I find a work environment that is suitable to my tastes.
Otherwise, I’m staying in my government job, doing my work on time and well, and retiring with a nice pension.
I might not be rich when I’m old, but I won’t be beat down either
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April 20, 2005 at 7:26 am #3249049
16 hours?
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
Doing research with the door closed? (10 minutes at a time)
Are klenex a business expense?
Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
Glad this is going. Any business that pays for its self in the first year is a good business. Good luck.
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April 20, 2005 at 7:38 am #3249037
why does he need kleenex?
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
nuff said…nuff implied 🙂
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April 20, 2005 at 8:09 am #3249012
Needs kleenex because…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
…because I don’t spit OR swallow… I gargle… but then I laugh and it all comes out my nose.
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April 20, 2005 at 8:10 am #3249011
Because
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
After repeated use (16 hours worth) paper towels would prove to be too abrasive, even though they are the quicker picker upper.
Give me a Puffs plus with aloe anyday. (esp if it is a business expense!)
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April 20, 2005 at 8:35 am #3248985
I don’t use tissues
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
waste of money.
grab a hand towel…that’s what I Say…it washes.
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April 20, 2005 at 10:41 am #3248908
Jess – Re: needs kleenex
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
I love you.
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April 20, 2005 at 10:47 am #3248907
jck – Re: not needing
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
So let me get this straight. You take your spent love and run that through the same washer as the rest of your cloths? EEEEEWWWW!
That means you have spent love residue in ALL of your cloths. Just think the next time you get filling from your jelly roll on the sleave and then lick it off. You now know WHAT is on that and EVERY sleave! You are SURROUNDED by spent love all day long. eeeewwww again.
You could get someone pregnet by them sitting on your lap! No more filling in as Santa for you!
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April 20, 2005 at 11:24 am #3248890
jdclyde
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
a) I wash towels seperate from clothes, if you must know
b) If the most of my worries is how much micronic residue might be left over in the washer after washing my towels in hot water and detergent, then I consider myself lucky.
Anyways…hope that soothes your need to know about my hygenic habits.
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April 20, 2005 at 11:43 am #3248881
Just F’en with ya
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
But you knew that didn’t you?
You wash your towels in hot water? Cold is what keeps the colors bright! Oh yeah, need to get the spent love out. BLEACH! Break out the BLEACH!
Besides, I don’t own that many towels so that option wouldn’t work for me.
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April 20, 2005 at 12:06 pm #3248868
yeah I know
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to It’s decent
like I said earlier…no sleep last night…I’m on edge today…boss is blabbering in the office next to me and it’s annoying the f*** outta me, cause he’ll go on for 20 minutes about someone needing to take off built-up vacation.
Sorry if I seem on-edge…because I am…I’m praying for 4pm. I get to leave early for a retirement planner meeting.
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April 19, 2005 at 12:04 pm #3248336
Does he throw barrels?
by montgomery gator · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to They need them for military too
A video game with monkeys made me think of Donkey Kong, where the big gorilla threw barrels at Mario. Will the SWAT monkey throw barrels at the bad guy?
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April 19, 2005 at 10:04 am #3248382
YOu know what would REALLY suck?
by oz_media · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
Being the poor guy that was shortlisted, got his hopes up and then lost the job to the monkey! LOL 😀
I can see it now, “sorry sir, we really liked you application and it was a tough decision but we’ve decided to go in another direction. We WILL however, keep our information on file should a more approriate position become available in the future.”
Applicant: May I ask what you saw in the candidate you choose that I didn’t have?
Employer: More hair, works for bananas, has bigger brain.
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April 19, 2005 at 10:09 am #3248378
hehehe
by itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to YOu know what would REALLY suck?
Imagine being the guy who has to give the monkeys a physical. “Turn your head and stop playing with that banana.”
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April 19, 2005 at 10:09 am #3248377
How would you
by maecuff · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to YOu know what would REALLY suck?
explain that to your wife? “Did you get the job?”
“Nah, a monkey got it.”
“A what?”
“A monkey.”-
April 19, 2005 at 10:14 am #3248372
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April 19, 2005 at 1:04 pm #3248302
What a hoot!
by oz_media · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to How would you
LOL! Still laughing at that thought…right on!
‘But honey, they still hired me to carry a shovel and clean up after him all day. There’s IS room for promotion once you get you’re foot in the door.’
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April 19, 2005 at 1:16 pm #3248293
Now, there is
by maecuff · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to What a hoot!
something that I’d want on my resume. Monkey Poop Cleaner Upper. How would you dress that one up? Monkey fecal specialist? Excrement technician?
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April 19, 2005 at 1:28 pm #3248280
Job title
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Now, there is
Zoological Waste Management
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April 19, 2005 at 10:40 am #3248359
sounds like
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to YOu know what would REALLY suck?
some of the phone calls I’ve gotten after interviews.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:08 pm #3248300
Text book
by oz_media · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to sounds like
That’s HR 101. A sure tip you are being lied to.
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April 19, 2005 at 10:48 am #3248352
Must be nice to work on a government project
by tony hopkinson · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
I have to hand out free goes at the booty for a month for a $200 component, this clown gets a 100k for a monkey. What they going to do when it starts agitating for minority rights ?
I bet it could find a lawyer.
Still at least it won’t be looking for a Rodney King, and will be very cheap to bribe. -
April 19, 2005 at 12:17 pm #3248328
Nicotine addicted chimp
by jamesrl · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
I was listening to the radio the other day, and there was a story of a chimp at a zoo in South Africa.
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0414rrchimp14-ON.html
Visitors found it funny to throw him a lit cigarette, and because he had observed it often enough, he learned how to smoke.
Now the vets at the zoo want to break the habit….Nicotine gum or the patch wouldnt be good choices….
James
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April 19, 2005 at 12:24 pm #3248322
I bet
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Nicotine addicted chimp
they could get him off the nicotine by feeding him cocoa leaves to chew on 🙂
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April 19, 2005 at 12:40 pm #3248312
That’s just sad!
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Nicotine addicted chimp
I’m not a member of PETA… but throwing LIT cigarettes and cans of soda at a chimp is not entertaining, it’s abusive!!! I wouldn’t treat my dog like that, well… if I had a dog, I wouldn’t.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:04 pm #3248303
I’ve known people that…
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to That’s just sad!
would let their dog drink with them at a party.
A drunk dog is *not* funny.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:19 pm #3248292
Used to have a cat AND dog
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to I’ve known people that…
that liked to drink. If you had a beer the dog would not leave you alone unless you shared.
The cat was a bacardi kind of cat though. Put a little in the cap and he was good to go.
Not enough to hurt them, but they just had to get in on it.
Oh yeah, the cat LOVED the smoke for the funny little self rolled cigarrettes.
Party on Bill and Ted.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:13 pm #3248297
What I want to know is…
by salamander · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
…who takes the monkey home? The dogs go home with their handlers after work. While I’m certainly an animal lover, there would be no way I’d want a monkey in my house. Dog, sure. Cat, great. Monkey, no way.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:15 pm #3248295
I call
by maecuff · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to What I want to know is…
my 7 year old ‘factory reject monkey boy’. does that count?
Really, it’s all in fun, and I usually ONLY say it when he calls me ‘old lady’.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:19 pm #3248291
Yeah, but…
by salamander · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to I call
…you’re the mom. You’re allowed.
I can just imagine some cop bringing home a monkey to his wife, who’s standing on the doorstep, tapping her shoe:
“You brought me a WHAT? Are you going to clean up after it? Suuuure.”
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April 19, 2005 at 1:21 pm #3248290
What do you mean?
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Yeah, but…
No wife at home.
Monkey is his date for the night.
Haven’t you ever heard of hot monkey love?
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April 19, 2005 at 1:23 pm #3248289
Ummm…
by maecuff · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to What do you mean?
I don’t think that hot monkey love is actually supposed to involve a monkey. I could be wrong. If so, I’ve been doing it all wrong.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:26 pm #3248282
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April 19, 2005 at 1:31 pm #3248278
Hah!
by salamander · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to What do you mean?
LOL. You may have a point. But I’m sure that there are rules about inappropriate relationships with one’s coworkers! What if the monkey feels harassed? Hmmmm…
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April 19, 2005 at 1:38 pm #3248276
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April 19, 2005 at 1:42 pm #3248271
There’s the old joke about…
by salamander · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Who would it tell?
…the coyote ugly date that a guy wakes up next to in the morning, with a hangover. He can’t remember anything, and decides to chew off his own arm to avoid waking her.
What do you do if it’s a monkey? Jeesh.
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April 19, 2005 at 1:40 pm #3248272
I don’t know about monkey love…
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to What do you mean?
but I spank the monkey a lot 😉
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April 19, 2005 at 1:49 pm #3248261
Just don’t tell Jess
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to I don’t know about monkey love…
if it takes more than 10 minutes.
Something about thinking of ugly people doing it wrong…..
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April 19, 2005 at 1:50 pm #3248260
I already told her about how long it takes…
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
in public on here…
I’m not ashamed…I give myself some good luvin…hahaha
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April 19, 2005 at 1:56 pm #3248257
It’s not about the luv’en
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
it is about how long it should or shouldn’t take.
Some people are just in more of a rush than others.
I personally need to install a paper towel dispenser on the side of my computer. Now THAT is a computer mod.
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April 19, 2005 at 2:04 pm #3248250
but when you’re luv’in yur-sef
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
it’s all about what little bubba wants 😀
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April 19, 2005 at 2:11 pm #3248244
Little?
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
And here with all your talk about big feet….
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April 20, 2005 at 6:06 am #3249094
the term “little”
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
is all relative.
Considering I’m 6’6, what’s little to me might look like a baby’s arm to someone else. 😉
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April 20, 2005 at 6:38 am #3249073
I should have known better
by itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
Than to have a topic with the word “monkey”. I should have seen it coming. HAHAHAHAHAHA. coming. hehehehe. come on. I thought it was funny.
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April 20, 2005 at 6:51 am #3249067
Oh ITgirli
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
I thought it was funny too…
Look at the monkey!!! HOO HOO HOO!!!
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April 20, 2005 at 7:51 am #3249032
It has nothin to do with UGLY…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
but if it takes longer than 10 minutes for a do-it-yurselfer… you must not know what you’re doing. I mean come on… If I’m in a hurry, I can spank the hubby’s monkey and it’ll puke in about 2 minutes. I’m not prone to believing that I’m just THAT good… ya’ll just don’t know yourselves well enough yet. 😉
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April 20, 2005 at 7:56 am #3249028
I never said anything about ugly
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
and fact is…I think I’ve mentioned 2-7 minutes on average for me…and I won’t poke fun at more than 10…maybe he’s gettin more than one or something. And, I’m not gonna ask for clarification either from him.
And if there’s one thing I do know about after better than 10 years of managing to stay away from all the materialistic women I’ve met…it’s how to take care of myself.
I don’t need a piece bad enough that I’ll let some chick move in and spend my checks to get some. I’d rather be alone and manually done than miserable and getting action.
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April 20, 2005 at 8:14 am #3249004
ITgirli, I got it
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
and it had nothing to do with monkeys…
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April 20, 2005 at 8:21 am #3248993
Jess – 10 minute
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
In a different post when 10 minutes “came” up,(paraphrasing as I don’t remember which discussion we were in at the time) You asked if I was thinking about ugly people doing it wrong and if that was why it took that long.
2 minutes? You are a GODDESS!
Either he has a short fuse, your doing something right or both.
Looking at video or even a live person I couldn’t in 2 minutes…. And even with help it doesn’t go much faster. (must be just me)
Hot monkey love was not meant to be rushed. True greatness takes time.
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April 20, 2005 at 8:44 am #3248979
Taking my time…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
When I take my time, and do the job “right” it can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours, though he tends to whine about chaffing after the first hour or so.
And I’d forgotten that I’d suggested you were fantasizing about ugly people… LOL… I’m so funny! 😉
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April 20, 2005 at 11:11 am #3248894
jdclyde
by itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
thank you for getting it. I’m glad some appreciates me.
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April 20, 2005 at 11:49 am #3248875
Hey, who loves ya baby?
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
You would be amazed what I pick up as someone who is really twisted and has an eye for detail.
Always love a woman with a sence of humor. Especially if it is an equally twisted one as mine.
“Get out of the cockpit!
He said coc-eerrp!”
Name that movie, I know you know it. -
April 20, 2005 at 1:20 pm #3247463
thanks
by itgirli · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
Yes, I am twisted. If by twisted you mean a pervert. Just kidding.
I do not know from which movie, but I know that as soon as you tell me , I’ll remember.
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April 20, 2005 at 1:51 pm #3247453
Well, it is a few years old
by jdclyde · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
so I will let that one slide.
Bevis and Butthead, Do america.
I laughed, I cried, I kicked stuff over.
Cavity search, deep and hard.
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April 21, 2005 at 5:54 am #3247205
What was it
by jck · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Just don’t tell Jess
Butthead said after he got his cavity search? Was it:
“Whoa…did I just score? uh huh huh huh…”
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April 20, 2005 at 11:53 am #3248873
Average IQ
by craig herberg · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Robots replaced by monkeys
I can think of a lot of places where the addition of a monkey would probably raise the average IQ.
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April 20, 2005 at 11:57 am #3248872
Yeah…
by jessie · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Average IQ
…like most fast food and retail joints… you could probably get WAY better service!!!
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April 20, 2005 at 12:11 pm #3248860
Possibly
by craig herberg · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Yeah…
some at a MUCH HIGHER pay scale.
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April 20, 2005 at 12:29 pm #3247478
What are you thinkin
by anykey??? · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to Yeah…
Ya dont go to a fast food place for good service.
Ya go there to request a samich without something, so that they can screw it up knowing that youll have to eat it anyway because we are in too big of a hurry to get done correctly
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April 20, 2005 at 12:07 pm #3248866
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April 20, 2005 at 12:17 pm #3248851
Does your office
by craig herberg · about 18 years, 11 months ago
In reply to most would think
guard our nuclear arsenal?
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