Robots replaced by monkeys

... a little klepto SWAT recconoissance "officer." Trained to pick locks, identify victims, and steal anything shiny.

Can't shoot friendlies with a banana.

Can't wait to see all the Disney action films though. Cedric the happy monkey in "SWAT 16, Destruction in Florida!" Arnold, Sylvester and Bruce Willis will be looking for new action movie careers soon.

Now that I think of it, a SWAT movie where a monkey replaces Keanu Reeves would actually be worth watching for once. Probably be able to handle more dialogue than Keanu too!

Does that mean the video game S.W.A.T. will have monkeys now?

I'm about 1 mile from PETA headquarters. I can imagine there will be something in the news if they catch wind of this.

Being the poor guy that was shortlisted, got his hopes up and then lost the job to the monkey! LOL :D

I can see it now, "sorry sir, we really liked you application and it was a tough decision but we've decided to go in another direction. We WILL however, keep our information on file should a more approriate position become available in the future."

Applicant: May I ask what you saw in the candidate you choose that I didn't have?

Employer: More hair, works for bananas, has bigger brain.

I have to hand out free goes at the booty for a month for a $200 component, this clown gets a 100k for a monkey. What they going to do when it starts agitating for minority rights ?
I bet it could find a lawyer.
Still at least it won't be looking for a Rodney King, and will be very cheap to bribe.

I was listening to the radio the other day, and there was a story of a chimp at a zoo in South Africa.

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0414rrchimp14-ON.html

Visitors found it funny to throw him a lit cigarette, and because he had observed it often enough, he learned how to smoke.

Now the vets at the zoo want to break the habit....Nicotine gum or the patch wouldnt be good choices....

James

...who takes the monkey home? The dogs go home with their handlers after work. While I'm certainly an animal lover, there would be no way I'd want a monkey in my house. Dog, sure. Cat, great. Monkey, no way.

something that I'd want on my resume. Monkey Poop Cleaner Upper. How would you dress that one up? Monkey fecal specialist? Excrement technician?

that liked to drink. If you had a beer the dog would not leave you alone unless you shared.

The cat was a bacardi kind of cat though. Put a little in the cap and he was good to go.

Not enough to hurt them, but they just had to get in on it.

Oh yeah, the cat LOVED the smoke for the funny little self rolled cigarrettes.

Party on Bill and Ted.

No wife at home.

Monkey is his date for the night.

Haven't you ever heard of hot monkey love?

...the coyote ugly date that a guy wakes up next to in the morning, with a hangover. He can't remember anything, and decides to chew off his own arm to avoid waking her.

What do you do if it's a monkey? Jeesh.

...Like it!

in public on here...

I'm not ashamed...I give myself some good luvin...hahaha

it is about how long it should or shouldn't take.

Some people are just in more of a rush than others.

I personally need to install a paper towel dispenser on the side of my computer. Now THAT is a computer mod.

it's all about what little bubba wants :D

And here with all your talk about big feet....

is all relative.

Considering I'm 6'6, what's little to me might look like a baby's arm to someone else. ;)

It's why I got out of private sector and won't go back into until I find a work environment that is suitable to my tastes.

Otherwise, I'm staying in my government job, doing my work on time and well, and retiring with a nice pension.

I might not be rich when I'm old, but I won't be beat down either

Than to have a topic with the word "monkey". I should have seen it coming. HAHAHAHAHAHA. coming. hehehehe. come on. I thought it was funny.

I thought it was funny too...

Look at the monkey!!! HOO HOO HOO!!!

Doing research with the door closed? (10 minutes at a time)

Are klenex a business expense?

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Glad this is going. Any business that pays for its self in the first year is a good business. Good luck.

nuff said...nuff implied :)

but if it takes longer than 10 minutes for a do-it-yurselfer... you must not know what you're doing. I mean come on... If I'm in a hurry, I can spank the hubby's monkey and it'll puke in about 2 minutes. I'm not prone to believing that I'm just THAT good... ya'll just don't know yourselves well enough yet. ;)

and fact is...I think I've mentioned 2-7 minutes on average for me...and I won't poke fun at more than 10...maybe he's gettin more than one or something. And, I'm not gonna ask for clarification either from him.

And if there's one thing I do know about after better than 10 years of managing to stay away from all the materialistic women I've met...it's how to take care of myself.

I don't need a piece bad enough that I'll let some chick move in and spend my checks to get some. I'd rather be alone and manually done than miserable and getting action.

...because I don't spit OR swallow... I gargle... but then I laugh and it all comes out my nose.

After repeated use (16 hours worth) paper towels would prove to be too abrasive, even though they are the quicker picker upper.

Give me a Puffs plus with aloe anyday. (esp if it is a business expense!)

and it had nothing to do with monkeys...

In a different post when 10 minutes "came" up,(paraphrasing as I don't remember which discussion we were in at the time) You asked if I was thinking about ugly people doing it wrong and if that was why it took that long.

2 minutes? You are a GODDESS!

Either he has a short fuse, your doing something right or both.

Looking at video or even a live person I couldn't in 2 minutes.... And even with help it doesn't go much faster. (must be just me)

Hot monkey love was not meant to be rushed. True greatness takes time.

waste of money.

grab a hand towel...that's what I Say...it washes.

When I take my time, and do the job "right" it can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours, though he tends to whine about chaffing after the first hour or so.

And I'd forgotten that I'd suggested you were fantasizing about ugly people... LOL... I'm so funny! ;)

I love you.

So let me get this straight. You take your spent love and run that through the same washer as the rest of your cloths? EEEEEWWWW!

That means you have spent love residue in ALL of your cloths. Just think the next time you get filling from your jelly roll on the sleave and then lick it off. You now know WHAT is on that and EVERY sleave! You are SURROUNDED by spent love all day long. eeeewwww again.

You could get someone pregnet by them sitting on your lap! No more filling in as Santa for you!

thank you for getting it. I'm glad some appreciates me.

a) I wash towels seperate from clothes, if you must know

b) If the most of my worries is how much micronic residue might be left over in the washer after washing my towels in hot water and detergent, then I consider myself lucky.

Anyways...hope that soothes your need to know about my hygenic habits.

But you knew that didn't you?

You wash your towels in hot water? Cold is what keeps the colors bright! Oh yeah, need to get the spent love out. BLEACH! Break out the BLEACH!

Besides, I don't own that many towels so that option wouldn't work for me.

You would be amazed what I pick up as someone who is really twisted and has an eye for detail.

Always love a woman with a sence of humor. Especially if it is an equally twisted one as mine.

"Get out of the cockpit!
He said coc-eerrp!"
Name that movie, I know you know it.

I can think of a lot of places where the addition of a monkey would probably raise the average IQ.

like I said earlier...no sleep last night...I'm on edge today...boss is blabbering in the office next to me and it's annoying the f*** outta me, cause he'll go on for 20 minutes about someone needing to take off built-up vacation.

Sorry if I seem on-edge...because I am...I'm praying for 4pm. I get to leave early for a retirement planner meeting.

Yes, I am twisted. If by twisted you mean a pervert. Just kidding.

I do not know from which movie, but I know that as soon as you tell me , I'll remember.

so I will let that one slide.

Bevis and Butthead, Do america.

I laughed, I cried, I kicked stuff over.

Cavity search, deep and hard.

Butthead said after he got his cavity search? Was it:

"Whoa...did I just score? uh huh huh huh..."