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By Info-Safety, LLC ·
Flylow Airways Problem Solving

After every flight, Flylow's pilots fill out a form, called a
"gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their
repairs on the form, & then pilots review the gripe sheets
before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews
lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance
complaints submitted by Flylow's pilots & the solutions
recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Flylow is the
only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.) (S= The solution and
action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitudehold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

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