Some oneliners for the Guru

Wife version2.0 left a year and a half ago and is STILL making my life as miserable as possible. I commenserate with your sorrows.

43.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

A man decided not to report his stolen credit card because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

A man is not complete until he is married - then he is finished.

A penny saved is a government oversight

A pessimist is never disappointed.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Hope they cheered you up!

Greg