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Speaker phones are an evil scourge

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I work in a cubicle farm with 8 other developers. We are surrounded by other IT groups, such as the network group and the server farm group. For some unknown reason, the other groups seem to be very fond of using the speaker phones, but we see no need to use them. I have mentioned this concern to my boss, and he agrees, there is no need for these people to use the speaker phones and disturb the rest of the department. He has spoken to the other supervisors, but to no avail, other than a (very) short term reduction in this annoying activity. Any suggestions? Also, can someone explain the reason why people would use speaker phones? Is it because they are oblivions? Is it because they are sociopaths? Maybe they enjoy annoying people? Are they too lazy to pick up and hold the receiver? Do they think they do not look good if they use a headset? Or are they self-important? Other than this sick behaviour, I otherwise get along quite well with these other people, and have a good working relationship. I have not talked to them directly about this, since my supervisor prefers for me to go through channels and talk to him about it instead of going to them directly.

Topic

Self importance

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

Believe me, working for telephone companies that are full of sales reps doing paperwork you sure got a lot of this.

Even with my office door closed I could clearly hear the guy next door, pickup (LOUD dial tone), BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP and then the dreaded ringing. The worst part is when they feel it is a speakerphone they must TALK LOUDER. We sold $900.00 desktop telephones, I don’t think you NEED TO YELL, DAMMIT!!! Pull the string tighter, find a new soup can or something.

So yes,that was just one of the many noticable silences when I moved, ahhhhhhh.

I wasn’t half as kind as you are about it though. I started at the user level with my verbal abuse. Followed by simply turning up my music (I had 5.1 surround in my office with Altec Lansings). Black Sabbath will drown out any conversation just fine.

When they still used speakerphone, as my neighbour/manager always liked to, then I would just walk into their office, turn down the volume while they were talking and slam their door on the way out….THEN go and turn up Black Sabbath.

Once I realized they actually didn’t mind War Pigs, I started playing Hindi and Pakistani music instead, which you could clearly hear back in the warehouse.LOL

but it would be discriminatory to say I could listen to Black Sabbath but not Hindi music wouldn’t it? (Actually nobody cared about that, if they didn’t like it they knew they could just yell STFU down the hall anyway).

I can get very irritable when trying to draw graphics or write a site. 😉

Hey now dickhead I resemble that remark

In reply to Self importance

I freely admit to using the speakerphone in my office. If you spend 5 or 6 hours a day on the phone(I have collegues across the country) your ears can get kinda sore. As well, I multi-task, typing at the same time, which is tricky when you are juggling the phone. I could use a headset but don’t have one, and there are times when I use my office for phone conferences with multiple people on the phone and in the office.

But I have my own office and am well away from the cube farm. When my collegue next door down thinks I am too loud he comes over and pulls my door shut.

But I do agree that speakerphones have no place being used in open cubical farms – that was the rule in many places I’ve worked. If you need hands free in a cubicle, get a headset.

I’m not self important at all. I resisted getting a cell phone as long as possible. I refuse a blackberry – I don’t need to be more accessable.

James

Well, I’m self important

In reply to Hey now dickhead I resemble that remark

but I still only user speaker phone when I have a group with me that need to hear what we are doing.

Besides that, it is headphones all the way.

No, I will not sit there and hold a phone to my head for more than about 30 seconds. I will answer with the handset (when I don’t let it go to voicemail) and switch over the headset if I will be on for a few minutes.

If someone was doing this to make a lot of noise around me, I think I would have to dig out an old dot matrix printer and run a long report or sharpen ALL my pencils with the electric sharpener. (this is the ONLY thing I use pencils for, making noise)

But then again, I am in the “cursed office”. The last 5 people that had my office are all gone and only one is left to start a family. The rest were asked to go start a family or something.

Cursed office!

In reply to Well, I’m self important

THat’s funny I worked in one too.

I fought and fought when I was promoted because I didn’t want THAT office.

Everyone before me was there for 6 months MAx before being fored and they ALL went bald.

The guy before me was 35 and although thinning, he was a regular Friar Tuck by the time he left.

I quit, soon after moving in to THAT office too.

They try to say

In reply to Cursed office!

that it is all in my head, but I know better.

Note: I have the friar tuck going on, just without the belly.

I got out of it for a while when we expanded, but then I got bumped when they centralized management here and it was the cursed office or the cold office by the front door. At least I am hid in the back of the building so I get left alone to get work done. Bet that is how I made it so long, they forgot I was here or I just never got the memo that I was fired.

I didn’t have it so kind

In reply to They try to say

Even the branch manager and president said “OOOOOOH that’s the CURSED office!!!! You ar egonna get fired and lose all your hair!”

We have pretty casual rlationships with management here, most end up as drinking buddies.

I didn’t have it so kind

In reply to They try to say

Even the branch manager and president said “OOOOOOH that’s the CURSED office!!!! You ar egonna get fired and lose all your hair!”

We have pretty casual relationships with management here, most end up as drinking buddies.

We had an office just like that as well

In reply to Cursed office!

But instead of going bald everyone who got punishment and placed in that office got cancer and eventually died. It started out being a very sought after office corner with windows on 2 sides and all that but after a few people in a row and over a very short time where diagnosed with terminal cancer no one wanted the office again.

Funny thing that 4 people get told within a 6 month period that they are about to die and no one wants their office again. I got it and escaped unscathed or so I thought but a few years latter the quack went mad because I insisted that he remove a mole which he didn’t see the need to and then he panicked when he got the results back. But I’ve been told that the next 6 people who took the office all got cancer and died now they use it as a storage area as they can not get anyone to go near it for love or money.

I was only in it part time for 2 weeks and 25 moles latter I’m told that I should be alright but then again when ever that particular quack wants something he calls me in for an examination and then precedes to tell me his tale of woe while holding a scalpel over me and saying something about his hand shaking because of all the worry that his computers are giving him.

It is a good way to get some one to do what you want as I have a severe aversion to sharp instruments being near me particularly when I’m asked to look to make sure that his hand is not shaking too much. 😉

But on the other side of the coin he is the local Ballistics “Expert” so every time someone here is shot the Police come out and get him to do their dirty work. At a party one night the Cops showed up for him and I insisted that they not bring him back as he was a major drug dealer as he grows grass on his property that he intends to retire to an 80 Acre Block about 5 hours drive away. When the Cop refused to believe me that he actually did this I asked just where he thought that this guy was getting his money from. 😀

Of course the next time I saw him he had a look at my neck and then said you had better come in so I can have a better look at that, when I arrived there he instructed his nurse to take a blood sample from my left ear lobe and told her to put the rope around my neck so there would be more blood available. 🙁

Col ]:)

Hey, I got the uncensored version

In reply to Hey now dickhead I resemble that remark

Don’t worry, I’m not offended by what was under the ********* censored by TR, titles e-mailed uncensored because I am subscribed. (******** was a nickname for Richard followed by Head). It looks like you resemble the title of your post 🙂

Of course Oz

In reply to Hey, I got the uncensored version

I meant it in the most endearing way…..

James

Not phased at all actually

In reply to Of course Oz

I had to go back and read again to see what I may have taken as offensive.

Actually I don’t like being called a ********* though, perhaps ######## or &&&&&&&& but DEFINITELY NOT !!!!!!!! or %%%%%%%%.

That’s just plain rude! Your mother should wash your mouth out with ^^^^^!

Censorship

In reply to Not phased at all actually

While I will readily cede the right to censor me to Tech Republic, I didn’t use a word I thought was swearing. Potentially offensive(but not in a racist, ageist, sexist sense) yes, but not swearing, at least by my loose interpretation.

I suppose, if you didn’t know that the person I called a $%#@^&* was in fact someone who I have some grudging respect for, you might think I meant offense.

I’m sure that if I called Oz a %$#%^&$ at a bar, no one would look twice….

James

Cultural difference?

In reply to Censorship

Maybe in Canada, calling people a $%#@^&* is no big deal, but (not that I agree with it) we (not me personally) in the USA are a little more uptight about that, and TechRepublic censors to remove anything that may be even a slight bit offensive. I understand how some cultures use insults as endearing terms, and as long as you know the context, you can tell whether someone calling you (for example) a “wanker” means it as a term of endearment or an insult. (Lets see if TechRepublic censors that one)

(Edit: looks like they didn’t, either TR does not know what wanker means, or does not care) 🙂

See now

In reply to Censorship

Tom, I would never call you a wanker. Whether thats a good or bad thing, thats for you to judge.

Oz by his own admission, has done some things which may earn him the right to be called a wanker. But you are correct, it does very definately depend on the cultural context.

James

oh FUBAR – (edited, bad when you can’t even swear right)

In reply to Censorship

I worked in a place where the way you waved good morning was to flip them off and say f$$K you.

We always meant it in the best way possible (whatever that may be).

Matter of fact, they do it here too. And this isn’t even a shop floor. If it is a really good day you now get a double flip off. That is love.

Doesn’t matter where you are

In reply to Censorship

You can call me an #@^&$*#(%@ anywhere and nobody will bat an eye I’m sure. LOL

My last boss would call me an @^&#$*(@&, I’d also call him a #^&@*$!$%~ when he screwed up. Or threaten to throw him in the lake on the golf course, or crack joikes about his running such a pathetic company in bord room meetings. Life is just a LITTLE more lax here in Canada, as you know. And out west we are pretty much at the bar when we are in the office.

You couldn’t offend me James, I would never take anyone as generally thoughtful and eloquent as you are as offensive, no matter what you said or if you meant it or not.
If I’m a di*ck, I’m a di*ck, end of story, call it as you see it. I sure as heck do.

And I can call anyone I know a *(#$^&*@!$ and they will just laugh and throw something back my way.

F***ing A*****e is a term of endearment when coming from me.

They’ve eased up on it

In reply to Censorship

piss, shit fuck cunt, cocksucker.

Well I did say eased and not lifted. 😀

JD

In reply to Censorship

It’s actually FUBAR

F****d Up Beyond Any Recognition.

I actually have a few customers who get really worried

In reply to Censorship

If they are not told to FUCK OFF DICK HEAD when they get here. Even when they are expected that is the normal greeting and then they know everything is OK maybe rushed but under some sought of control.

But when I don’t even insult them when they arrive they become concerned about what is going wrong. If I ignore then they know that there are some major problems and if I actually great them in what some would call a friendly manner they just pickup what they have brought over and bring it back another day.

Col ]:)

Ya know Col

In reply to Censorship

I have ALWAYS liked Autralia, kinda like Canada is a laid back England, Australia is a laid back Canada.

A LOT of fun though!

At least you had an office door

In reply to Self importance

I work in a Dilbertesque cube farm. My boss is off today, but I will talk to him about it tomorrow, and hopefully, get some minor temporary relief.

Right amount of passive-aggressiveness cures all

In reply to Self importance

Several years ago, when I was in a cube farm, we cured a cow-orker of that by cranking up “So Lonely” (live version) by the Police and singing along off-key. That song goes on forever, and some of my co-workers could do some very impressive air-guitar. Get about ten people doing that, and it solves a lot of problems…

…man, I miss working in a place where I can kick off my shoes and dance.

SO find one where you can

In reply to Right amount of passive-aggressiveness cures all

Sounds like someone chose money over happiness at work. tsk tsk!

Doors didn’t help me

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

As I said, we ALL had our own offices and it STILL drove me nuts. Closing someone’s door sometimes worked but when they have their speakerphone cranked and then yelled at it, as if Mavis was plugging the calls through from the community switchboard, it is just unbearable.

These guys SELL the technology and they don’t understand that a telephone has a loudspeaker and a microphone?

Not to mention, all tey had to do was walk out back and take a brand new neadset off a shelp. We had cool wireless headsets that handled multiple line control and call transfers etc. just like the deskset. Not that I ever really used one either but I didn’t yell at my phone either.

Developers VS. Support.

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

.
Developers need quiet. They get few calls. It can be difficult to “get in the zone”, and easy to loose.

While support groups get calls all day long. If they are managers, or others that are not call center, thay are not likley to be able to use a headset effectivley.

The disruptions are not nice for anyone, but understandable when put in context of their jobs. The problem is, some don’t see the difference between these two diverse jobs, and keep them well seperated.

Sometimes people will need to have several people on a call. Do you expect them to use a conference bridge for these calls, or huddle around a speakerphone?

Now, the question of etiquette is a bit different. All should be aware of noise levels, and how it effects others around them. They may be a**holes, then call them on it. They may also just be doing their jobs, and are keenly aware of how it irritates, and use only when they need to.

You ask, do I use a speakerphone? Well, yes I do. I would use it more if it were less disruptive.

Conference rooms have conference phones

In reply to Developers VS. Support.

If there is a need for several people, they could go to the conference room with the conference phone, and close the door. Or do a conference call. If both hands need to be free, then there are headsets. Also, not everyone on the network team uses speaker phones. Most can do their job without it.

I disagree

In reply to Conference rooms have conference phones

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Conference rooms are not always available or practical. Sitting at my desk a swarm of people may arrive at any moment, and we need to talk to someone on the phone. Should we stop, schedule a conference room, wait till that time, gather without most of our resources around etc.?

Im not arguing that some are not insensitive or rude to others, only that it makes sense in some situations. Generically saying “all people who use speakerphones are rude and arrogant” is silly. Its a tool just like any other. Some people use jackhammers on a work site next to peaceful bricklayers. Are the jackhammer operators rude?

It’s the volume that bugs me

In reply to I disagree

Everyone feels they need to have it cranked and they must talk louder in order to be heard.

With the noise cancelling mincs built into speakerphones in the last 10 years, there is no need to yell. ESPECIALLY seeing as so many companies use ISDN lines these days and they are even clearer than before.

Keep volume down so YOU and those around you can hear, speak in a clear but comfotable tone. Pretend people are sitting in the room in front of you, it’s really no different. If it isn’t enough, buy a telephone that works.

Disagree with your disagree

In reply to I disagree

Speaker phones are not like jackhammers. Volume can be controlled, and people can use their “indoor voice”, or they could use headsets, or use conference call technology, so the group does not have to gather in a cubicle. If it is a “swarm” of several people, they have no business meeting in a cubicle in an open office and disturbing their neighbors instead of going to a conference room.

you do what you need to

In reply to Disagree with your disagree

as the situation rises.

He wasn’t PLANNING on having the swarm, but it just happens.

It is when some rude bugger does it when they are ALL ALONE in the middle of cubical hell on a regular basis that becomes annoying. Flog him, then hang him high.

We also only have a limited number of rooms to go to. It they are filled we stop working? Handle the crisis and move them out.

Etiquette and function.

In reply to Disagree with your disagree

.
I think the speakerphone has its place, and your complaint is with etiquette rather than functionality. If the speakerphone users were more aware of their volume, and voice level, would you be satisfied? If the call volume levels were on par with a conversation, would your complaint be they should not have conversations?

I knew I was taking a unpopular side of this discussion. The easy thing to say is “Fu*k the jerks”, but seriously speakerphones add functionality in many cases. You can say use a headset, go to a conference room or any number of solutions to your problem, but what about their problems? Must they suffer the inconvience for you?

Im really not trying to be harsh, and I would bet that this group could be more sensitive to your groups complaints. In the larger discussion of the place of speakerphones in a business enviroment, we should look at all the issues. Your tital was “Speaker phones are an evil scourge”, not “I have a problem with one group of speaker phone users”.

In theory, your points are valid

In reply to Etiquette and function.

Unfortunately, the speaker phone users crank them up when they use them. If they were low level conversations like the other work-related conversations, it would be no problem. Of course, using head sets when hands must be free, and no one else needs to hear the other side would work also. Unfortunately, my workplace does have the cube city plan like most medium to large businesses nowadays, and we can hear our neighbors quite easily.

I have sent an e-mail to my supervisor about the subject, and I will see what he says. He has tried to fight this fight before, but with only limited short-term success.

Too much noise anyway.

In reply to In theory, your points are valid

.
I hope your request gets taken seriously. Im just providing the counter point.

I don’t like a noisy enviroment any more than the next guy. For my entire career things have been beeping, ringing, running, turing, humming, etc. It will make you nutz.

Good luck.

TBR

Agree with your disagree, disagree with his.

In reply to Disagree with your disagree

If there were a jackhammer that only the operator could hear or a way to make them half as noisy like a headset makes half as much noise, the jackhammer operator would be a rude jacka$s for using the maximum noise version right next to the peaceful bricklayer.

Also, a normal person’s voice talking about topics that don’t affect me is much less than half as annoying as hearing a speakerphone conversation because hearing both sides of the conversation means that I have to make a greater effort not to be distracted by a conversation when I can hear both sides, plus the sound of a voice through a crappy low quality speaker is always annoying.

Just maybe you could

In reply to Agree with your disagree, disagree with his.

Go to HR and make a formal complaint that you do not want to be accused of ease dropping on others peoples conversations.

I don’t know if you have any Privacy Laws over there but you could always claim that you are being placed in a compromising position and possibly run the risk of being charged for failing to maintain confidentiality because by overhearing others conversations you are violation their privacy.

That just might work. 😉

Col ]:)

Cell phones left unattended is just as bad

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

People come into the office and throw their nextels on their chargers and then go into a meeting or something. While they are gone they get a call, so this @#%$@#%’en thing keeps beeping until they come back. grrrr. THIS drives ME nuts.

And yes, they use the “walkie-talkie” function instead of picking up an office phone and dialing an extention.

I hate that too

In reply to Cell phones left unattended is just as bad

On fact I HATE EVERYTHING HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

I was actually onsite last winter and was in a very important meeting about implementation costs with a propspect when MY cell pohone started to ring, I forgot to forward directly to VM.
So it starts playing Safety Dance and I am looking all red in the face while apologizing for the noise. I said, “sorry it’ll go to voice mail in just a second”

But then Safety Dance played on,toes started to tap and I was starting to sweat. “Wow, I don’t know wht Voice Mail hasn’t picked up!?” (Phone buried in my computer case of course. FINALLY I dug it out as we were not getting any reprieve here, STILL playing Safety Dance, I hit my VM key and sent the call to Voice Mail. TWO seconds later, SAFETY DANCE is playing again, by now I am getting frustrated and just pull the damn battery off the back and toss it in my bag. It turns out, my voice mail was set to page my phone and/or forward all incoming calls to my home line straight to my cellular. Being in Vancouver I couldn’t get at my VM console unitl I got home!

The people we did the presentation for just smiled and the boss (must be bearing his 70’s) laughed and said, “Holy 80’s guy! Safety Dance, haven’t heard that one in a few years!”

Don’t you hate that TWO WAY radio beep and the damn speakers with Mike handsets though?!

It’s a CELL phone too, you don’t HAVE to yell. Most people have them cranked and have no use for two way radio instead of a cell call. What a pain!

Funny when the spouses call though, the speaker tells all, epsecially the clinking of glasses and bottles in the background. 🙂

In all fairness…

In reply to I hate that too

I have worked in several places where we were almost FORCED to use the walkie-talkie feature of the Nextel phones because it doesn’t use up any of those oh-so-valuable minutes. Damn, cheap-ass companies!!!

I understand and agree with

In reply to In all fairness…

the savings of that. Just teach the trained monkeys to not YELL into the cussed things, and turn down the volume.

And my wife complains that I am deaf!

After years of traveling with bands and working in shops, she believes me when I say I just didn’t hear her. Listen, hear, what is the difference?

You just turn the volume down

In reply to In all fairness…

Even in TWO -WAy mode with Mikes you can turn down the volume and use it like a cell phone. Meaning you don’t have to stare at it and yell. This always gets me, what are people that excited about having 2-way capability that they must flaunt it lik ethey are renta acops or something. You even get people TRYING to use radio code on the damn things. It’s no different than when Pagers first came out, anyone with a pager MUST be a neurosurgeon! LOL

IT’S A PHONE OKAY!!!?!?!?!?!?

We can dance it we want tooooo

In reply to I hate that too

That is one of the reasons I have resisted getting a self-imposed teather. I don’t need or want to be contacted if I am not in my office, and I am not worried about being able to call for pizza on the way home from work. I can wait, really I can.

Now with blackberrys and such I am getting tempted, but still holding back. That $50 US per month is a round of golf for gosh sakes.

Curse you Oz and jdclyde and Men Without Hats!!

In reply to We can dance it we want tooooo

Now that “Safety Dance” song is stuck in my head, along with visions of dancing dwarfs!! However, I do not mind the vision of the dancing medieval wench from the video, though.

LOL

In reply to Curse you Oz and jdclyde and Men Without Hats!!

Odd note, I was a consultant in a small independant IT company in downtown Toronto in the late 80s, and my partner went shopping for a new dentist(pain free). He found one close by at the CHUM/CITY building(Canada’s MTV equivalanet plus TV Station). It turned out to be one of the members of Men Without Hats. They got along great, as the dentist was also into computers.

James

It was EXCELLENT!!

In reply to Curse you Oz and jdclyde and Men Without Hats!!

I think the 80’s ROCKED! I loved the 80’s, probably appreciate it more now than I did then, what an endless party for 10-15 years.

I also have Tainted Love, Bark at the Moon, Crazy Train and a few others.

[i]We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
‘Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance[/i]

I worked at a teen night club as a DJ and then was a security foreman for shows in Vancouvers PNE buldings back then so the 80’s tunes really stuck with me.

[i]I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We’re doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin’ the cha-a-a-ance[/i]

Safety dance
Is it safe to dance
Is it safe to dance

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safe, dance!

muuusic

In reply to It was EXCELLENT!!

lol just heard that today on the radio..boogieing in the shower.

I like hair rock some times..been listening to Little River Band lately..ack.
And some Funk. Old 70’s funk.

Man, I should be about 10 yrs older.

You should see my MP3 player

In reply to muuusic

Prince, Iron Maiden, The Band, Tears for Fears, Judas Priest, Tchaikovsky, Nena, Black Label Society, Ted Nugent, Van Morisson…and of course I mustn’t forget Snake Eyes (just in case I’m being watched).

A real mixed bag of ‘nuts’, but one thing follows throughout, talented musicians and vocalists. Something the world is now devoid of these days. (Yeah I know I sound like your dad but he was right, Frank Sinatra WAS better than Britney Spears 🙂 )

Little River Band….arrggghhhh

In reply to muuusic

Takes me back to high school and my days working the 11-7 shift at the 7-11. You could go an hour without a customer, and you’d be mopping the floor and listening to the “pop” station that management mandated. I hated that clown suit we had to wear.

I too have a pretty eclectic collection. I’ve done a little work as a classical singer – been in a few choirs that have recorded – so I have copies of pieces that I sung, as well as reference recordings of pieces I was practising solos for. But I have everything from 60s pop to Jazz to progressive rock(Yes, ELP, early Genesis) to blues (John Lee Hooker). I love the Who so much I’ve seen their farewell gig twice….. Love classic Springsteen.

Prince doesn’t do Prince anymore I hear – now that he has kids, he doesn’t do the raunchy stuff anymore. Gotta love Purple Rain…

Now Sinatra, never kinda developed a taste for – must be the image of him as an older crooner, its not until you listen to him as a young guy do you appreciate him for what he was.

James

Prince

In reply to muuusic

He’s worked his way into more of a funk sound, even though his early material was all funk based too.

Still does the sexy stripper tunes though, yet the new funk is kinda cool. When I refer to him I am speaking of his 80’s and even early 90’s stuff when he was escaping the label.

He is actually SO underrated by many as a guitarist, he an ‘excellent’ guitar player. Most players recognize this, in fact, many heavy metal and hard rock leads LOVE Prince’s older stuff and respect him as a guitar player.

Flashbacks …

In reply to Curse you Oz and jdclyde and Men Without Hats!!

🙂 … know what you mean. I’m starting to get 80’s Video flashbacks playing in my head right now. I feel like crankin out some Van Halen and go parking with some chickie … Don’t think my wife would like that idea though.

Old Videos

In reply to Flashbacks …

MTV Canda has a one hour show called ‘Retro Active’ and another called The Retro Boogie Dance Party’ where they play 7-‘s and 80’s vids, then they have old segments of a dance party and interview the ‘guest dancers’ much like American Bandstand in the 70’s. These guys in HUGE purple bell bottoms and hush puppies,it’s a riot.

The videos are cool though, SOOO low budget and cheesy. 🙂

lol

In reply to Old Videos

I feel old some days, listening to music.
“Great rock from the 80’s, 90’s and today!”
Barf.

When I was a teen, I was listening to the things my parents grew up with: just a step harder/stronger.
CCR is great, but some days I was in the mood for some AC DC and Black Sabbath. For years on end I was considered a preppy stoner at school 😛
If that’s possible.

Neil Dimond didnt cut it for me, I wanted Aerosmith and GNR. Crue. Metallica..the old stuff. Hair rock. 70’s rock.

But now i’m softening up; I bought Sinatra the ohter day, and I have a killer blues collection that you can drink/clean house/fu@k to.

Eclectic.

Now I want a donut..or is that eclair?

Funny……………….

In reply to Flashbacks …

I’ve been trying to find a girlfriend that my wife would like. LOL

“Guns don’t kill people…………..wives who come home early do”

$50.00/mo must be nice!

In reply to We can dance it we want tooooo

My last cell bill was $187.65
Month before that was $163.55

Usualyy I keep it well under a hundred but have been on the go a lot lately and travelling between Mainland and Island racks up LD.

I DO need to call for piza before I get home, so I can pick it up on the way home. I MUST have food upon arrival, end of story.

The teather, well that IS my office.

Two solutions…

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

1/.Jam a screw driver into the speaker and leave it there for them to find in the morning.
2/.Modify the speaker cct one night to limit the speaker max volume. Try starting with a 470 Ohm linear resistor.
——–+SpkrLead
R
R———-+
R Spkr
———SpkrLead———–

Voice Mail on speaker phone

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

One thing I forgot to add (since it does not usually affect me directly since I am out of earshot) but the guy next to my supervisor (who is also a supervisor) insists on using his speaker phone when checking his voice mail. There have been times when I was having a meeting with my boss in his cubicle and the neighbor in question was doing the speaker phone thing. My supervisor has talked to him several times, but his neighbor still insists on that rude uncouth behavior.

Evil Nasty thought

In reply to Voice Mail on speaker phone

Why not have someone leave him a real graphic voice mail ….or perhaps a recording of that scene in the restaurant from “When Harry met Sally”. That might be a cure – of course use an outside line for it.

James

Credit where its due

In reply to Evil Nasty thought

I didn’t think of this myself.

About 10 years ago, I was working at a large multinational, who had Macs everywhere. I was in an open cubicle area. We had a 3rd party email package called QuickMail and it had added a new feature – if you attached a sound message to an email, it would automatically play it. Now thats sounds crazy today because of security concerns, but back in the day….

I had the experience of hearing someone receive such an email, on a Mac with ampliphied speakers. The next sound was the sound of the user reaching around the back to pull the power plug.

The user never divulged who sent the message, but I suspect it was a co-worker in a nearby cube.

James

For once, Tom, I agree with you.

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

The woman next to me, very intelligent, otherwise nice person, insists on using her speakerphone ALL the TIME!!! For crying out LOUD, we take support calls here, among other things and she’s on that dang thing ALL DAY!!! Myself, I have a headset which I use frequently. SHE doesn’t want a headset because then she has a line from the band across her hair. WTF?!

I have no solutions for you… I’m not as evil or as conniving as OZ… sometimes I wish I was, and talking never seems to help.

Tell her to get a bandless headset?!

In reply to For once, Tom, I agree with you.

Geez Jessie, there are TONNES of headsets without bands, in fact MOST don’t have bands anymore for just that reason, headset head.

Just visit the Plantronics or GNNetcom sites.
PLantronics Mirage is really good, the boom mic is really unobtrusive and sensitive.

Cubical fun

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

There is a joke file you can download called smile.exe.

When it is opened, it turns up the volume on the system then has someone yelling “HEY EVERYBODY, I’M LOOKING AT PORNO OVER HERE. WOOO HOOO!”

It the has a nice little dialog box in the center of the screen that says “gotcha!”.

Oh life is good. If you do this, PLEASE post for the rest of us how it goes. It is GREAT to watch people diving for their speakers!

smile.exe is listed at symantec as a hoax in case you wish to know what it is before running.

There was a similar one

In reply to Cubical fun

I remember in the lates 90’s they had one that would boost the volume and set all windows sounds to the most annoying windows sound of all, the dreaded CHORD. Everyone would look wondering what you had done wrong, then a second or two later BONG again, then BONG again, it sounded like people were making mistakes over and over again.

Oh the good ol days

In reply to There was a similar one

When the only time your computer made a noise was when something was wrong or you told it to.

Now I do into offices and the damn thing bings and bongs everytime you just walk by it, let alone use it. grrrrr. drives meeee nuuuuuttttsssss!!
[i]
There coming to take me away (ha ha)
There coming to take me away (ho ho)
To the funny farm…[/i]

Thanks (Not!) jdclyde

In reply to Oh the good ol days

Now I got another stupid song stuck in my head!!! Now they are going to take me away to the funny farm!! Aieeeeeee!! (scream done in Howard Dean maniac style)

We’re there for you

In reply to Thanks (Not!) jdclyde

I used to do that when I worked in the shops. I would walk around whistling zippidy do da or something REAL anoying to get is stuck in everyones heads.

At least you know your music to get it stuck from just a few lines….

Have a great weekend! (in the funny farm.) Yes, I have my boys singing that song too. Drives the wife nuts

Badabadum

In reply to We’re there for you

Bada-badum….ba baaaaaa badada

Bada-badum….ba baaaaaa badada

Bada-badum….ba baaaaaa badada

Ba-dada ba-dada, badum dum dada dum.

Badabadum….ba baaaaaa badada 😀

6 YEARS in an automotive shop! Day in day out.

At one office I worked at, we would think up the most annoying tunes from commercials or old TV shows and hum them in the office then walk away, leaving everyone to walllow in it endlessly.

Like the Mary Tyler More show…..got it in your head yet? NOt to worry,

“You’re going to make it after aaaaaaallllllll ………meow!”

Tom provided

In reply to Thanks (Not!) jdclyde

You are not swinging from the fluro tubes no one will take any notice of you quietly loosing your mind. 😉

With all the noise in the open plan offices this is a common problem so I used to send some very explicated voice mails to the offending parties just to shut them up even if only for a short while. But I don’t suppose that you can do that now days with the PC atmosphere that pervades every place. Another thing that I use to do was to throw something at the offending person that generally go their attention but again I don’t suppose that is an acceptable response now days either.

Perhaps just walking over and ripping out their phone and dumping it the the waste basket will get your point across, it will at least shut them up while they try to get it connected again and after you have done it a few times you’ll either be fired or they will be so scared of what you will do that they will start to behave themselves.

If you make out that you are cracking up you might even get an extended holiday out of it which will help you no end as when you get back as you already have the reputation so they will never know what you will do next. 😉

Col ]:)

World’s most annoying screensaver

In reply to Oh the good ol days

It HAS to be the SCIENCE theme screensaver.

squueeeeeeeeeeee…..ping……..kerrrrrannnnnnggg, squeeeeeeeeee……bing. ARRRRGH!

If I EVER walked into an office with that in the background I would root out the offender and very politely disable it immediately.

Well I cured a guy from using Speaker Phones

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

At least while at work.

He laid some heavy duty junk upon me one day and to return the favor I rang him at work and acted like he was a Queer and had left me after spending the night with me after picking me up in a bar. I laid it on thick but what I didn’t realize was he was in a high level meeting and very quickly picked up the phone so that no one else could hear the conversation. 😀

I’m told to this day he never answerers the phone by just pushing on the speaker button until he is sure of just who is ringing him up. 😉

Col ]:)

That deserves

In reply to Well I cured a guy from using Speaker Phones

An atta boy!

It is amazing how people never look at you the same way after something like that….

A funny story

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

I just remembered a funny speakerpone story.

When at North American Telecom, reps would go out and demonstrate speaker phones by calling my office. We also had technicians that would call the receptionist and test installs, she’d just say too quiet, not clear etc. so they could configure the lines and PBX correctly for best the sound.

I would often pickup these calls (inbound through the side door) when she was on the phone. So I’d tell them, “sounds like crap”, “SHOUT a little louder”, “NICE install, what have you done” etc.

So one day the sales manager (and install troubleshooter) called and I picked up the call.

SALES MANAGER: “I am calling you from the NEW Polycomm speakerphone, how do I sound?”

ME: Like you are sitting inside a clothes dryer or talking from a soup can, pull the string tighter (an old telecom joke)or climb out of the bucket. You sound like you are a thousand miles from the speaker!”

The sales manager quickly picked up and stammered, it must be this dead unit can you have XXXX send a new one out? Apprently he was trying to close a big deal for a car dealership.

He got back and tried giving me sh*t but I just told him that he should hae at least called firt and TOLD me to play into his demo, and regardless it DID sound like crap and the customer would have been complaining anyway.

Happy ending, he DID get the deal, just with different equipment.

Another time I actually removed the speaker from a sales reps phone. But as we were a phone company he just sent it to the warehouse for repair and took a new one, DOH!

Open speaker.

In reply to A funny story

.
So, while back I worked with a Greek woman. She was sweet, sexy, beautiful, okok I had a HUGE crush on her. If anyone knows any Greeks, they don’t do much dating/marrying outside the Greek community. Hence no real chance for me. But we did work closely together for a few years, and I always enjoyed the fantasy. She got engaged to a Greek guy, no big surprise. One night we were working together very late restoring a server. She was talking to him on the phone, got a little peeved (figured it really was about me and her hanging around all night in a server room) and slammed down the phone. She sat back down next to me, and we chatted for about half a hr ABOUT HIM. She went back to the phone to call in a update on the server, speakerphone was on, and hubby to be had been listening the entire time. WOOPS!

I DID THAT (to my wife)

In reply to Open speaker.

Picture the scene. Me, my bud, middle of a gold course on a sunny day and a cooler full (now half full) of beer. (yes, pissy american beer)

The wife calls me on my buds cell to ask me to get her some cheese because she wanted some. (we live four blocks from a store).

I declined as SHE KNEW I was golfing and had another two hours left.

After hanging up, I proceeded to tell my bud that the dumb beatch wanted me to go get her cheese because she couldn’t be bothered to do it her self. Turns out, if you hold the button like I did it will RECONNECT you with the last number called. She listened for about ten minutes, and lets just say it was NOT a warm reception home that night. No playing with mommy parts for a few days after that for me. Thank GOD for internet porn.

I don’t like cell phones. They just get you in trouble.

Rationalizations

In reply to I DID THAT (to my wife)

The CELL PHONE???? got you in trouble??

I think your wife, my wife and I would agree, you got yourself in trouble…..

One of my former business partners(same guy who went to Men without Hats dentist) told me the story (he swore it was true) of the woman who wrote a “Dear John” letter on her Original IBM PC – you know – green screen and all.

She wrote it on a Friday afternoon, and left the monitor on all weekend. By Monday, she had changed her mind, but there was the faint image of her letter etched on the green screen as long as she used it. I’m not sure I believe him, but its an entertaining story.

James

My story

In reply to Rationalizations

And I am sticking to it.

If wasn’t for that cell phone, I would have got mommy parts.

[b]Bad cell phone, bad![/b]

[i]it IS the thought that counts, right?[/i]

Well it is possible

In reply to Rationalizations

I still remember those screens with a clear image of the old Lotus 123 Logo burnt into the back of the screen when they where turned off.

I don’t know how the people used them at the time but it was a common occurrence and if it did actually happen it would be a constant reminder to her wouldn’t it?

Col ]:)

Check snopes

In reply to Rationalizations

😀

Actually I disagree,it WAS the evil cell phone or the evil wife.

The wife “asks” for the cell phone number, intrusion in golf game.

The wife CALLS the cell phone number, intrusion on golf game.

The wife asks you ot go to the store on the way HOME?, SERIOUS intrusion on golf game.

The wife rags on you when you get home, time to play ANOTHER round of golf.

What was the point of playing golf with a buddy in the first place, why not rent your wife a cart and bring her along too? Why not drag the kids along while you’re at it? Better still can we discuss the monthly budget on the 5th?

My god, where does it end? sheeesh!

Cell phone rings on 2nd hole, ooooooops, water hazard, see you when I get home honey! buh-bye.

Golf course are for talking trash and drinking beer while smacking a little white ball around endlessly. NOT reality checks.

I have the opposite problem

In reply to I DID THAT (to my wife)

I’m constantly forgetting to pickup my cell phone every time I go out particularly when “She Who Must Be Obeyed” moves it. If it isn’t right in front of my face when I walk out I forget the thing every time without exception.

One time I realized that the phone was not on my belt and I spent several hours backtracking looking for the thing and eventually I rang home to tell Her In Doors that I had lost the phone and would be a little while still trying to find it. I of course got the response well you left it here deliberately and what have you been up to? 🙁

Col ]:)

And they wonder why we drink?

In reply to I have the opposite problem

tsk!

Amen brother, DOWN with the woman!!!

Sorry, getting into this part of the thread too much I think. 🙂

ALRIGHT!

In reply to I DID THAT (to my wife)

A GOLD course!!! Man, all we have is grass and sand!

NO wonder Tiger’s so rich! LOL Turn up with a driver, putter and a sluice box for the waterholes.

Actually as someone with admittedly the worst case of ‘typo-itis’ on TR, I LOVE to point out other people’s typo’s, makes me feel clever. 🙂

Am sorry to hear about the lack of mummy bits though, no man should be subject to such horror as not having bits and pieces to play with. 🙁

Then again, that’s why WE got the weenies, so we can have fun pointing to stuff and playing lighthouse in the tub on just such occasions.

Nooooooo, mr tug boat look out for the lighthouse aaaaaahhhhhhh !!!

women just don’t understand that’s all.

Ahem

In reply to ALRIGHT!

rofl. just rofl

Like I said

In reply to Ahem

Women just don’t understand!

Notice nobody else is laughing…….;)

Lack of Understanding

In reply to ALRIGHT!

I want you to know that you made me splatter coffee all over my monitor at 6:30 Sunday morning reading your missive. AS I was reading it, the foghorn was being tested at the St Augustine light house..hahaha.

TFF

Weenie?

In reply to ALRIGHT!

Damned if I’d admit that MINE was weenie on an international forum.

(does this translate?)

Wasn’t that a song????

In reply to Weenie?

“I wish I had an Oscar MINOR weiner………”

LOL Some things are best left unsaid

Is that why you typed it instead?

In reply to Wasn’t that a song????

You’ll have to forgive my attempt at an unoffensive, candid referal to the male genitalia. Would SHLONG have been more masculine?

You??? Candid?

In reply to Wasn’t that a song????

Don’t think that computes. Look at it this way….at least you didn’t use the word noodle….but could have used the word sausage.
🙂

It’s odd

In reply to Wasn’t that a song????

People on TR are offended by the most inert terms and okay with the bllunt sometimes. Perhaps an issue not knowing what is politically correct and what isn’t?

I had a thread pulled for using the term BOX in a joke to refer to female geitalia. It was assumed by one person to be due to racism, but TR did send me email explaining that the reference was the reason, not the racism.

I’ll peer mail it (the joke) to you one day and you can see if it was that bad. 🙂

Hah

In reply to Weenie?

Then there are those who need to overcompensate to enforce an inner desire I suppose.

Simple solution for all you telecomm guys….

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

Replace their phones with other phones that don’t have speaker-phone capabilities.

When I got the privilege of setting up a relatively large network down in South America, guess what, conference rooms and senior management got speakerphones. Everyone else…. nope, not a chance. We gave them headphones.

If you need to have a conference call, isn’t that what a CONFERENCE room is about?

Exactly

In reply to Simple solution for all you telecomm guys….

We still use Meridians (Till our VOIP is implemented)

Bottom line though, only Management or conference rooms get speaker and/or display phones.

Asside from the anoyances talked about here….it saved a crapload of money puling back those phone sets from users who swore they couldn’t live without ’em.

The Southern Solution

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

Being a Southern gentleman myself, I know that you request once and maybe twice, they cease their annoying behavior. And when they do not, then sir, it is time for the ultimate Southern Solution….WhoopA$$.

Instructions for applying WhoopA$$ correctly:

Secure proper size can of WhoopA$$. You should note that a small 1.5 oz can may be enough for a small issue. For a larger issue, such as yours, a 55-gallon oil drum may be called for.

Get the brush of total righteous indignation. Note these also come in various sizes from the miniscule “Miffed” (which is very popular with ladies) to the extremely large “Damn Did That Hurt Boy? Looked Like it Hurt” industrial spray appliance.

Sometimes, you may need some assistance in applying the WhoopA$$. Being a biker, I prefer about 300 heavily tatooed and seldom washed friends. Believe me that a load of bikers and a 55-gallon drum of WhoppA$$ can be a load in your pants dropping sight and experience!

Note that when applying the WhoopA$$ with your friends you should turn and say, “Righteous man!” at timely intervals.

And always remember that a little WhoopA$$ goes a long way.

Enjoy!

Eastern Canadian option(s)

In reply to The Southern Solution

Option 1:

A dirty look…………….and wire cutters

Option 2:

Call in an American friend for some WhoopA$$

Option 3:

Stick sewing needles under the finger nail of the offenders dialing finger if 1 & 2 don’t work.

I still think my idea work best

In reply to Eastern Canadian option(s)

Walk over to the offending person {After all you have to start with someone so make it the most high profile person in the place} rip their phone out of the socket and throw it into the rubbish or if you are on a floor other than the ground out the window, then smile politely and ask the person have you been told today.

After you have done this several times they will begin to understand that you have become adversely affected by what is going on and will either send you away for a long holiday at a health retreat {Funny Farm} to recover your sanity or take the message and get the idea that they are way out of line. In this day and age they couldn’t fire you for doing this particularly as there is a history of complaints already made about this very problem so they would have to treat you for the problem.

Now when you return after your holiday the rest of the staff will have been told just how sick you where and not to do anything that may tip you over the edge again or the company will be facing a MAJOR law suit. God I love the PC 2000’s as back in the good old days I would just have grabbed something part way heavy and thrown it at the worst offender until he stopped and then started on someone else. They learn very fast what you don’t like and what not to do when you are around. Naturally you just might be upsetting someone else as well so you had to keep a eye open for heavy flying objects just to make sure that they didn’t hit you in the back of the head, but you learned very quickly what was acceptable and what wasn’t acceptable in any office. 😉

Col ]:)

True ennough………& same here

In reply to I still think my idea work best

Back in the ‘old days’ in Canada you could just hang the offender by the ‘balls’ out the eight floor window till they turn blue…..

Nowadays you can’t even look at someone sideways without fearing a harasement suit.

Well………………..I could use a ‘vacation’ LOL

mmmmmm……I like the way you think Colin.

All of the above.

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

It’s probably a mix of the possible reasons that you mentioned. However, knowing such isn’t going to solve your problem.

It’s interesting to note that your supervisor does not want you & the others in your group to contact your peers in the offending groups re. the problem; yet, by contacting only the supervisors of those groups, he has merely tried to handle it at a peer-to-peer level!

At this point, the matter needs to be escalated to the next level up the chain of command. If your supervisor will not do so, then you have every right to.

Update on situation

In reply to Speaker phones are an evil scourge

My boss has talked to those in charge of the offenders (and one of “those in charge” is one of the offenders). So far, the situation seems to have improved. Still noisy, but not as bad, and speaker phone activity has reduced a good bit to minimal. I enjoyed all of your suggestions, including HAL 9000’s crazed maniac idea and BFilmFan’s WhoopA$$ suggestion (which might have worked. Being in Alabama, we are quite familiar with WhoopA$$, and I have seen it for sale in cans, at the gym, where it is an energy drink). All of the suggestions (especially the violent ones or ones involving sabotage) were fun fantasies I ran through in my imagination, but going through channels seems to have worked for now. My boss said to let him know if the problem returns (which it probably will).

[Author]

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