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Techno GOD

You know what I mean??

A call comes in about a user or group of losers that are having a problem. Being the nice people we are (and ?ahem? the fact that the moon aligned last night) we decide to travel to the scene of the crime.

So you climb the 120 stairs / traverse the campus / navigate the corridors only to arrive and find everything just starting to work, just as you walk in. That printer they were having trouble with starts to ?wirrrrrrrr? and print, the document has reappeared and all seems OK now.

You are now classed as some kind of Techno GOD with powers to make equipment behave!

Arrrrrrrgh - time to walk back.

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We all do

by jdclyde In reply to Techno GOD

It is in my job description. "Stand there so something will start to work."

What? No, the (l)user wasn't doing anything differently or incorrectly. Don't be silly.

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by JamesRL In reply to We all do

Was the description we used to use in our help desk system.

Unable to Reproduce.

Sometimes this meant we closed cases before there time, but usually this was a user error thing.


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We used CND or NTF

by NickNielsen In reply to UTR

Could Not Duplicate or No Trouble Found. CND was usually reserved for those special occasions when even most of the users knew the actual problem was an id10t.

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DBC Charges

by Funktional In reply to We used CND or NTF

When i was working for a consulting firm, we actually had a bill code with the abbreviation DBC. I forget now what it *actually* stood for (some type of service fee), but our internal definition was "Dumb B!+ch Charge." We would tack it onto an invoice if the client had been really problematic or irritating or just kept calling us out.

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When that happens

by Old Guy In reply to Techno GOD

here I just tell the user that the machines are skeered of me and start working. I have been instructed to just stand there--like that's going to happen. :^0

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I have replied

by w2ktechman In reply to When that happens

just the same sometimes. But my favorite is telling them about the electric gremlins that crawl through the network cable and target certain people (because they like to).

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by NOW LEFT TR In reply to When that happens


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Techno Evangelist

by neilb@uk In reply to Techno GOD

A few years ago I did an install of a hierarchical storage management system on a NetWare server, Disk->WORM->Tape for a customer with a lot of files.

The install worked perfectly for months until it stopped. One of my colleagues spent several days trying to get the kit to work and then, finally, I was asked to come off another job and go in.

I got to site very early and there was no-one there but security knew me so they let me in. I spotted immediately that someone had manged get a spelling mistake into a key line of the config file so I corrected it and went off for breakfast. I didn't start the HSM.

When I got back, all of the workers, management and our tech were waiting for me. They didn't know that I'd already been in.

I walked up the cabinet, laid both hand on the server and cried "In the name of the Little Baby Jesus, I say to you 'heal'. I say again, 'HEAL', 'HEAL'" and hit CR and walked out.

Our tech has never forgiven me.

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by w2ktechman In reply to Techno Evangelist

I did a similar thing with a single user. She went to lunch after sending an email to me asking for help.
I went to her desk, and she was not there, but she left the computer open for me.
I fixed the problem, locked the system and walked away. She got back to her desk and thought that she locked it and I couldnt get in (I left a note for her to call me).
I went by again and loudly hailed "You Are Healed" and slapped the monitor lightly.
when it all worked, she was really impressed, along with all of her neighbors

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What a relief!

by Maevinn In reply to Techno GOD

And here I thought I was something special!

My previous boss used to ask me to come into his office, just to stand there until he finished running some update 'to be sure it worked'.

My definition of computer genius: Anyone who knows more than you do about computers. This means that from the perspective of a LOT of users, it ain't hard to reach divinity.

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