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by locolobo

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Just finished putting a photo album together for a Remembrance service tomorrow for a coworker/friend who passed away last week. Must have been over a thousand photos to go through this last week. Her relatives are out of state and didn't want them.

Looking at the pictures I realized something. I knew very little about her. There was so much more than the quiet lab technician / librarian I knew for 17 years.

When she was in her 50s she was backpacking some of the same places I was at the time in my 20s. It is possible our paths crossed 30years back. In her photos I saw places long forgotten. Places few had found back then. Places that when I got there in my 20s I was wore out! She skied, rode horseback, snorkeled, sailed, all after 50.

My impression of her was the typical lab rat, loner, geek, etc. She may not have been the life of the party but she had friends. Some were transient, appearing one year and dissappearing later. Some of them were life long.

It just goes to show you can't tell by appearences. I wasn't close to her but a few people here were. Going through half a lifetimes pictures just made me think about it. I really don't know how I feel right now, just needed to get it off my chest.

12 replies

by steffi28

It's so weird when you see a part of someone's life that you never knew existed, it makes you see them in a whole new light, and when that light is a good one like what you just found it kinda makes you wish you had spent a bit more time getting to know them.

My grandad passed away going on four years now, I never met him until about 6 months before because of family problems, but I helped my dad clear out his house, I found more out about him in those few hours than I did in the six months I knew him for. theres nothing like a persons possessions or photos to show who they truly are

by locolobo

Seeing a part of her that I never dreamed existed. Finding out that we had more in common than I knew. Watching the changes from her teen years up to 80+. It's eerie.

by nicknielsen

She didn't just live, she LIVED. I think that's what I'd like to have people say for me. Maybe that's the best that can be said for any of us.

Sorry to be so morbid, but they're dropping like flies in my world to a variety of causes. Mostly acquaintances, but a couple of good friends as well in the last two weeks.

A double Glenmorangie to your lost friend and to mine.

by locolobo

She would have liked that. This last year another coworker and I visited her several times in the nursing home. We were wheeling her around the place and stopped at a soda machine and he asked her what she wanted. She said, "I'd like a beer."

by mjd420nova

With four children between 28 and 37, my wife and I sat down to go thru 4 decades of photos to put together albums of photos of each child as they grew up. So many places that I had forgotten about. So many memories that were revisited anew in those slides and snapshots. I was tough to pick out the best and most memorable and then get them to all fit in a reasonable size album. As my wife and I have reached our senior stages in life we became so focused on the near future and had basically neglected the past. These albums were assembled to present to each child to chronicle their individual journeys and progressions from newborn to adult. The places and events seemed so long ago. Two albums were put together to present to both sets of grandparents so they too could enjoy some of those milestones in each childs life. I only hope that those who are lucky enough to view them can also draw parellels in their lives and relish in the idea that we are all more alike than we realize.

by locolobo

This project got me to thinking about it. More importantly, my Dad has a bunch of family photos in a drawer.

by gadgetgirl

Your post immediately reminded me of my mothers brother.

His wife was diagnosed with liver cancer, with an immediate prognosis of under a month. Part of that time was spent actually talking, both with family and friends, and giving longed for answers to unasked questions. The other part of the time was spent putting things in order; what he couldn't quite remember of something, she could.

A matter of a few days after she passed away, my cousin found him in the lounge, with hundreds and hundreds of photographs (about 40 years worth all told, and they were prolific photo-takers) He was sorting them into years, then months, then events where possible. This alone took him the best part of three solid days. After that, he got some envelopes, an expanding file folder, and for the next few months, allotted at least one hour of time per day to writing names, places, dates and whatever he could remember onto the envelope, and then placing the photo inside.

When Cuz asked why he was doing it at that particular time, he was told that everything would be sorted when it was his fathers' time to go. There would be no loose ends, not even any loose memories. It would all be done and sorted.

Eerily, that's exactly what happened. About four years later, he was found passed away from a small brain aneurysm (sp?) He had just sat down in the chair and gone. I still to this day haven't a clue how he knew he'd go quickly, but he did.

You know, his entire filing system, photo system and everything else was so ordered and logical that there wasn't a damn thing for us to do but attend the funeral.

Sheesh. Spooky.

Hang in there, Loco. Let us know how the Remembrance goes.

GG

Edit: Clarification

by av .

It sounds like she enjoyed herself while she was alive. I think thats great for her. She lived her life.

There's alot of people at work that we don't know. Sometimes its a matter of how many people do you have time to know, but sometimes you don't bother knowing people that you interact with every day. Somtimes you don't want to be bothered. We're all guilty of that and in the process we've missed something good.

Isn't it something that your life can come down to a few pictures and remembrances of those that were close to you?

AV

by locolobo

We had a picnic lunch at the local park. Perfect day. We swapped stories about her. She had worked with us for 30 years. Longer than any of us. My boss read the eulogy.

It turns out none of us knew the woman in the photos. In addition to the loose photos there were 3 photo albums she had done showing her earlier life. She was a journalist back east before moving west.

We had pink balloons. When we were done one of the women said it was tradition to let the balloons go. Never heard of it but we did.

by tig2

A Pastor I knew once gave a sermon on letting things go. One of the things we did was write a prayer for someone on a helium balloon and let it go. Since then, I have heard a similar message with a similar activity- only this time, the message was on letting go of problems.

In both cases, I found it to be instructive. Letting go can be a difficult thing to do.

It sounds like you guys found a great way to celebrate a life that you didn't know as well as you thought you did. And believe it or not, that is the point.

When I die, I fully expect that different people will have different mental snapshots of who I am. But there won't be many with a full picture. I am different things to different people. As it should be.

I look forward to scrapbooking many of my photos- especially the ones from the 3 Day. In the process of scrapping them, I have pages on pages of journalling that I did through the fund raisers and the event that I can add to the pictures. When I take the time to put the two together, anyone looking through the book not only sees the picture but also an explanation of why I thought it was important. And hopefully see a side of me that they never knew before. This can be a good thing.

by bizzo

Congratulations on knowing such an amazing lady. And thank you for sharing.

Hopefully your life will now be a little bit richer for having that insight into her life. Many people come into our lives and many people go out of our lives, but it's not very often we get the chance to just sit and find out what they're really like, even our closest friends.

Maybe this is a chance for us all to think about friends, colleagues and loved ones. Do we know them? Do they know us? It might be worth that extra few minutes of our time to find out.

I'm sure she's now as free as the balloons you released. If she believed in God, then I'm sure she's there with Him, looking down at the wonderous places she didn't get the chance to visit. If she believed in reincarnation, then she'll be back as an eagle, soaring high above the landscape.

Wherever she is now, she sounds like a fantastic person. Nothing is ever the end. Maybe she didn't get the chance to tell her stories, but you've just told a few hundred (thousand?) people about a wonderful person and what she did with her life.

This could be a message to us all.

Grab life by the balls and tell him you're not letting go until you've seen it all.

by dadspad

It is good to remember there is more to the people we see at work than we will ever likely know.

Having both my parents deceased and now the last of my wife's parents just passed, going through someone you know's life is still surprising.

I just will it wasn't so sad and stressfull.

edited I cannot spell

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