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The MATURE Friday Yuk

By jdclyde ·
Well, if everyone else gets to do it, well by duck, so can I! ;\

Here are a few for both the guys and the gals!
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Everytime I find Mr Right my husband scares him away.

The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one.

Marriage is a three ring circus. An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring.

The secret of a successful marriage is incompatability. He has the income, you have the patability.

When a husband's words are sharp, it may be from trying to get them in edgeways.

If Love is Blind and Marriage is an Institution, then Marriage is an Institution for the Blind.

A man tells his wife of 15 years that it feels like they've only been married for 5 minutes the wife says thats so sweet and he says yeah 5 minutes under water.

My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog - you know he'll shut up when he comes in.

A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. The now PO'd cop walks up and yells at the guy, "What's the big idea?" The guy responds, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," he said, "and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!" "Off you go," said the officer.

The happiest time in a man's life is that period of time between his first and second marriage. The problem is ... he doesn't realize it, until the second marriage!


Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to exercise daily, have a much better diet stop drinking, smoking. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market.Now I want a divorce, because I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough or me.

The definition of alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice".

An ex-spouse is like an inflamed appendix,. they cause a lot of pain and suffering, but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!

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I absolutely will NOT post here

by DMambo In reply to The MATURE Friday Yuk :D

I don't want to add the the proliferation of Yuks. Remember the old days when only Oz posted the Yuks?

Hey, JD, you might want to fix the first one-liner to avoid perpetuating your rep.

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Hey, everybody, over here, jd's got a husband!

by gadgetgirl In reply to I absolutely will NOT pos ...

he said so in the first line of his Yuk post!!

He's admitted it.......

He's outta the closet !!!

Out you come, jd, come on, come on babz, out you come....

<muttleyfit>



GG

Dangermouse - don't ever leave an option for me like that on a Friday, you know how rampant my Fridayitis can be...

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better yet

by jdclyde In reply to Hey, everybody, over here ...

come on in with me!

As for "come on, come on babz", only if you are babz..... :0

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HEY HEY HEY!

by jdclyde In reply to I absolutely will NOT pos ...

I SPECIFICALLY said "Here are a few for both the guys and the gals!"

See what I get for trying to put in a few for the women folks! X-(

Just whatever you do, don't tell Neil that my yuk is better than his. No sence making the lad cry now, is there?

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So long as mine is better than TechMails!

by neilb@uk In reply to HEY HEY HEY!

That will be enough...

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Of course it is, Neil

by Tig2 In reply to So long as mine is better ...

As you posted in Geordie. :)

Significantly superior. Absolutely. Nothing better anywhere.

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Nothing better

by jdclyde In reply to Of course it is, Neil

except for mine of course! B-)

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Neil, I don't think you

by Old Guy In reply to So long as mine is better ...

ever have to worry about that. However it is a little unfair to take advantage of the totally disadvantaged. http://tinyurl.com/ewy95

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Of course yours is better

by maecuff In reply to So long as mine is better ...

but isn't that like shooting fish in barrel? Shouldn't you raise that bar a little bit?

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Nah, I'm being a non-confrontational, tree-hugging sorta chap today

by neilb@uk In reply to Of course yours is better

So, Que sera sera...

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