Thursday Yuk

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply ex clude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Couldnt wait for friday??

No no no .. i got a better one .. You live on Mars and follow a different time zone ...

]:)

George Smathers, when running for the US Senate in Florida in 1950, allegedly said about his opponent Claude Pepper:

"Are you aware that Claude Pepper is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert? Not only that, but this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism with his sister-in-law, and has a sister who was once a thespian in New York. Worst of all, it is a documented fact that Mr. Pepper matriculated while in college, engaged in acts of public mastication, is an active homo sapiens, and before his marriage, he is said to have practiced celibacy!"

Claude Pepper was unable to deny the charges. Smathers won in a landslide, and there are many buildings named after him in Florida, including a library at my Alma Mater, the University of Florida. The speech has become a legend of politics.

https://www.techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=8&threadID=187699&start=0

it is worth following the link.

just one warning..okay 2
1) do not drink anything while reading
2) make sure the bathroom is clear, or you'll piss yourself.

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted
thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental
inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
[pre]
Dihydrogen monoxide:

* is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component
of acid rain.
* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
* may cause severe burns.
* contributes to the erosion of our
natural landscape.
* accelerates corrosion and rusting of
many metals.
* may cause electrical failures and
decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* has been found in excised tumors of
terminal cancer patients.
[/pre]
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream,
lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global,
and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice.
DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest,
and recently California.
[pre]
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

* as an industrial solvent and coolant.
* in nuclear power plants.
* in the production of styrofoam.
* as a fire retardant.
* in many forms of cruel animal research.
* in the distribution of pesticides.
Even after washing, produce remains
contaminated by this chemical.
* as an additive in certain "junk-foods"
and other food products.
[/pre]
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done
to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is
extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution,
or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the
economic health of this nation."
In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO,
and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during
warfare situations.
Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated
underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

There is only one of him, thus a Homo Sapien.

Some peoples kids, I tell you!

Talk about improper english in emails and on-line..... :p

(yeah, I'm a good one to talk! :D )

Makes me remember why I live here:

http://tinyurl.com/bm7nk

I'm no Spolisport!

I was just supporting the toxic nature of the chemical. It has an MSDS. It is important to know all the dangers. For example, you all mentioned the possibility of burns, you did not mention the explosive nature of the vapors.

Further, you did not mention the explosive nature of the chemical when coming in contact with certian metals.

I say be very careful around this substance.

American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery.

It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.

It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.

for managing to f*ck up the spelling of a one word post.

I am so ashamed. :_|

Tea with milk! It's an English thing, and not one I have even thought about changing.
I may have switched from asking for a 'ban-arn-er' to a 'ba-nah-na' when I moved to WI, but I won't stop putting milk in my tea (or switch to drinking coffee) :)

Trust me. We Brits put milk in our tea. There is a scientific reason why and how it changes the taste but I wont go into that. Sufficient to say that we do drink tea with milk and have done so for three hundred years and those nations who take their tea without milk cannot comprehend the vehemence with which we will defend our case.

I drink around a dozen mugs of tea each working day. I hate coffee!

The only argument - and it's a biggie - is whether you add the tea to milk or the milk to tea. If you brew the tea in a pot then the first way is the correct way. If, like me, you're forced to brew in a mug then you have little choice but to add the milk afterward.

Just back off, JD , otherwise you might get hurt.

Neil X-(

Depends on the tea.

Ice Tea, which is favored around these parts (Alabama, the Southeastern USA in general) does not take milk, only sugar (in large quantitites) and maybe some lemon.

Hot tea, depends on what kind. Green tea (which I just finished drinking a cup) is best with nothing else added. Earl Grey tea should also have no milk. Maybe a little bit of sugar, but that's it. Now your regular English Breakfast Tea, that is best with milk, and a little sugar.

Then there is Indian tea. I have had tea in Indian restaurants several times, and it could best be described as tea brewed using milk instead of water. Quite good. Since tea is grown in India, I would guess they have many different ways of preparing it.

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table, "Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping -- Love you, Jill"

He stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son . . . what happened last night?"

Jack's son answers, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door!"

Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean? Why a red rose, and breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried
to take your pants off, you screamed, "'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'"

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot breakfast - $4.20
Red rose bud - $3.00
Two aspirins - $0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time . . Priceless