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Tips for moving on?

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by cp7212

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Well, after several sessions of asking questions to the TR forum (thank you for all of your past answers, by the way), I am going to take some advice and get out of Dodge!

My manager doesn't respect me in the least. He tries not to speak to me if at all possible. He doesn't listen to any ideas. I had a solution to a problem and he preferred the company spending $5,000 for the solution, adverse to hearing my idea.

They take my partner away for some project that they don't let me know anything about and I have to support 300+ machines, solo.

So, enough whining, could you knowledgeable people lend me some of your experience? Could you please drop some tips on what to do about moving from a company I'm employed with now, to an out-of-state location? I'm shooting for Charlotte, NC and moving from PA.

I've been looking at some job sites, apartment sites, moving companies, storage, and the like. I revised my resume. Any tips? Thanks in advance for letting me benefit from your experience(s).

27 replies

by dmambo

So, tip #1 is to find something else befroe you relocate. I'm ultra conservative in this regard, but that's my advice.

by maxwell edison

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I hate to so blatantly disagree, but I will.

YOU MAKE YOUR OWN REALITY! And this is especially true in a case like this.

If you think it's tough, it will be tough. If you think you WILL succeed, you will succeed.

DO NOT adopt the mind-set that things are tough, or else that will become your reality. You make your own reality by first defining your own mind-set.

by jamesrl

I disagree Max.

I was in that very position. I was laid off, but I was confident I was in good shape. I thought I would succeed, and I put alot of effort into getting a job before my severance ran out. I had outplacement services, a great network, a good resume, good skills. But at the time I was laid off, thousands of other hi tech people were also laid off in my area, and new hiring was not happening.

The reality is that its not all hard work and the right attitude. Your attitude can help you land a job once you find the right opportunity. But your attitude can't change the number of qualified job seekers out there or the number of positions available.

I know Max that you made your own job. And in no way do I diminsh that acheivement, nor do I deny that a positive mental attitude is important.

But reality says that the real challenge is to keep that positive mental attitude going while the rest of the environment is not so well.

I don't know the economic situation of the OP, nor the market in their area. It may be tough out there. The successful job seeker will acknowledge that its tough and not only try harder, but work smarter. That means distinguishing one's self from the rest of the pack, reaching farther into one's network and looking for unusual niches that others have not explored.

I do agree that if one thinks they will fail they will. I never gave up. I didn't really have that option. But one has to be realistic and take into account the local market and conditions. At some point livery stable owners and buggy whip makers had to realize that few of them would survive and that most of them would have to try a new trade.

James

by dmambo

Max is probably right. But I'll still say it's tough out there, so you need to be tough. That means a LOT of work up front. Just be sure your preparation is as close to perfect as can be. You know your circumstances. Remember, I'm looking at it from my perspective of 3 kids depending on me. They certainly would distract me from giving 100% effort into building a new life for me alone. If you're ready to make the leap, do it.

by notsochiguy

I worked with someone that ended up moving to Charlotte to work for Lowe's (corporate headquarters). Apparently, they were (this is 2 months ago) looking to really expand, and needed a lot of IT help. They even helped pay for relocation, which is practically unheard of anymore.

Other than that, if you know of anyone in the area already, network your @ss off. You never know when you'll meet someone that knows someone that is looking for someone.

Good luck!

by cp7212

Thanks for your tips. I will be checking Lowe's site and I'll upload a resume. They're all ready to go.

by maxwell edison

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If you have your sights set on Charlotte, North Carolina, then go to Charlotte, North Carolina -- period.

Do you have vacation time saved up? Do you have an emergency fund established? Don't ask if, but HOW can you make this happen? That is the correct question.

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to find a new position AND a new place of residence in Charlotte, North Carolina -- and do it all in four weeks time. Failure is not an option. Failure will not be your outcome.

Holiday Inn, Courtyard by Marriott, or any other number of very nice hotel chains will give you some great rates on a weekly basis. Some might even have kitchen units. You could probably find one for $250 a week or less, and maybe get free breakfast thrown in.

That will also give you a temporary LOCAL address and phone number that you can provide to your new employer. The point being, you're not thinking of moving to Charlotte if the right job comes up, instead you ARE moving to Charlotte, and you're looking for the right place for you.

You will not ask anyone for a job. Instead, you will be looking for the right place to offer your services. You will tell potential employers what you can do for them. You will already know what makes their business tick, and you will make your presentation tailored around their needs. You will be able to do this because you will have done your research before-hand.

Don't waste your time with the want-ads. Use the phone book instead.

More to come later.

What an absolutely exciting thing you're facing. A new job, a new city, a new start. And you can define and control what that is. And don't let anyone tell you differently.

by cp7212

I'm going to get my cell number changed for the Charlotte area. I have free long distance. One of my friends used that idea when he moved away.

I'm making my target move time for February. I can store my stuff in a rental area in my old hometown, I have family there.

I was originally to move to Charlotte but my dad fell sick with cancer and I stayed in the area. I will never regret that decision and would do it a thousand times again. I had a job secured down there with a headhunter. It would have cost a few hundred dollars, but I think the cost was justified with the peace of mind to make a lateral move.

The way I see it, if I did it before, why not again? There are some nice places down in Charlotte with extremely reasonable rent. There is a chickie down there I went out with...haven't quite decided what to do about that yet. She's been down there a while and would probably a great one to start networking with, but I'm worried about the cost, and I don't mean dollars. lol

Four weeks to complete the mission, huh? I was thinking two to three, maybe that's unrealistic. I have excellent credit, so I was thinking of taking a small personal loan out for storage, starter rent, and liquid expenses.

I was hoping to try to secure a job before I moved, or even a contractual job.... but you never know, the company I'm in right now might just push me to moving straight out there.

To wrap this up for now, you are so right. I AM excited about the move. I used to move around a lot and I wondered what the h*ll has happened to me? I have no kids (that I know of), no wife, and no obligations to tie me to one spot.

P.S. I'll be checking back for more later. Thanks again.

by attackcomputerwhiz

You said something really wrong there! You want to get a loan when you are planning to be unemployed for any length of time?!?!?

If you want to borrow, you might be better off asking a family member and drawing up a promisary note with a delayed-start payment plan (say, two weeks after you start working full-time). That way, you won't have creditors breathing down your neck and ruining your credit if it does take more than a few weeks to find a position.

by mirrormirror

I really am. After some of the things I have been through in my life, I do not deal with change too well. It makes me very apprehensive. Of course, getting laid off in a part of the country where you have no family, no job and have 2 kids and one on the way will tend to make you a tad nervous. Whew!! I'm glad that situation is long gone.

I am envious that you have what it takes to just up and move. Of course, me having 3 kids that depend on me does not help my frame of mind. I have all that school stuff to keep in mind.

One day, when the kids are moved out and it is just me and the husband, I want to move to the coast. I want to see the beach every day. I want to taste salt water on the wind. *sigh!*

Good luck with your move. You sound very much in control of your life. Good for you! I have family who live in NC. They love it. Beautiful part of the country. Let us know how thing turn out for you.

by jdclyde

I remember hearing about getting a local number redirected to your cell phone.

by maxwell edison

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In 1987, when the economy was considered terrible, I decided that I wanted to move to Burlington, Vermont, a move of over 1,000 miles for me at the time, where the economy was even more pitiful. I had only been there to visit for a day or two a few months prior, but never had lived there, or anywhere even close; I didn't know a soul who did live there, nor did I know anything about the dynamics of the business community.

"You're crazy", people told me.

I spent about 7 days in a hotel; my "mission" was to find a job and a place to live. And when I left Burlington a week later, it was knowing that I would be returning in just a few days to take one of three positions I was offered, and to move into the condo that I had rented on the shores of Lake Champlain (one of the lake's many coves, actually, in Shelburne).

No, I didn't have a lot of money, just enough to get by for a couple of weeks. And no, I had absolutely no contacts.

Having the right mental attitude and approach is not only an important thing, it's the only thing. But it's more than just believing it -- it's knowing it. And with it, failure never does have to be an option.

by montgomery gator

Max, how did you survive living among the socialists that elected Bernie Sanders to Congress in Vermont? :-)

I visited Burlington, VT in 1988. Nice city, beautiful area with the lake and mountains, cold in the winter (but I was living in Syracuse, NY at the time, so I was used to it), but so many people there are loonie lefties. The Ben and Jerry crowd who make good ice cream but bad politics. ;-)

by maxwell edison

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....was the mayor of Burlington when I was there. He used to walk up and down Church Street Mall greeting all the "homeless" people who flocked to his city.

by cp7212

I didn't look at it that way at all. I already know that I really have no other option but to get out of this company. It is truly the worst place I've worked. It's not the whole company really, but the IS department. Since I'm going to move, it may as well be where I was going to go in the first place.

I've always been drawn to Charlotte. Don't know why, but I'm running with it. Like I told Max, I don't have kids, wife, or any other obligations to tie me to one spot.

I appreciate your feedback. I'm trying to find an easy medium between safe and wanton. ;)

Thanks again.

by tony hopkinson

But I moved on from my home town industry after 19 years of working there. It was both harder and easier than I thought. New friends, new environment didn't cause me any problems. The bigggest problem is once the new firm signed me up they pretty much left me to struggle through the move myself. Don't rely on your future employer for anything. Get the lay of the land, when you are finding somewhere to get your head down. My first attempt included easy access to public transport close to city. Unfortunately the place where I worked was seven miles on the other side of it. Two buses and a train, cost a lot and took ages even when it was on time.

by cp7212

I'm almost all German, it makes for a very stubborn attitude, but sometimes it really helps. I have dealt with this situation long enough and I am a firm believer in making my own destiny. If you wait for someone else to do it, it may be a long time (or never).

One of my favorite quotes is, "Your ship can't come in until you send it out."

Thank you for the positive reinforcement, you can't believe how much it helps.

by jck

Last I knew:

Job market was okay there...not greaet, but okay
Housing on the southside near Matthews was expensive, but nice.
They have a good party district.

Good luck with it, man. It's a pretty nice city.

by cp7212

It can't be any worse than my present situation. Anything that I've learned has been strictly on my own. It's clear to me that I'm never going to learn anything new, use my degree, or get promoted.

I'm a survivor, I'll find something. I did check out several things in that area and things are looking promising. Thanks for the well wishes.

by cp7212

I just wanted to say thanks to the people who gave me some tips. I was hoping there would have been more, considering everyone is so quick to say, "Leave your job and find another."

Hopefully, my next post will be from North Carolina. Thanks again.

by jdclyde

It isn't like you gave this much time to be found. I just now came across this. Didn't read other posts YET, but will go back on next break so sorry if repeats of other peoples advice.

Moving to find a different job.

Do you have vacation time saved up? Always good to spend "vacation" time in an area to look for work.

When you get there, RENT, don't buy a house. Wait until your SURE you will like it there before getting locked into a house.

If you have friends and/or family there, have them send you some of the local news papers so you can read the "want ads", as well as get an idea of what is going on in that area.

NOTE: Most people don't say leave your job AND find another. Find another job THEN leave your job. It is much easier to find a job if you have a job. If your not working, people always wonder if you were fired in the back of their mind.

BEST OF LUCK!

by cp7212

I guess I'm used to the posts getting answered a lot over several days. Are you saying people only read these at work? ;)

I do have a friend down there and she said she'd send me up a paper. I am googling corporate sites in that area and uploading a ton of resumes.

You added a couple of great points, thanks a bunch.

by jdclyde

After all, you were the very first person to respond to my call for help in my Divorce discussion. How could I not step up now?

Are you still anti-marriage?

Good luck with this move!

by cp7212

I'm not necessarily anti-marriage, I'm for marriage. I guess I'm just anti-trust. I've seen way too many of my friends have to move back in with their parents because they got married, she started cheating on him, and she got half of everything, including his future income. I haven't had great luck in the trust department myself.

Most of the women I've run across are just like one of my favorite quotes...."Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy', while you're feeling behind you for a rock." ;)

I did go out with a nice southern belle when I lived in Texas. I'm hoping to run into another one when I move. Thanks for the well wishes.

by jdclyde

is to find a RICH woman. Then you can trust that she isn't marring you for your money!

Matter of fact, that doesn't sound like a bad idea! I could be a "kept man"! :D

by dmambo

I married for love rather than money. Oh sure, it's nice to fall asleep in the arms of my beautiful wife every night and all that crap, but damn, I have to get up and go to work in the mornings.

(Just kidding, JD. Don't flame me. But why couldn't she be who she is AND be rich???)

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