to say a quick hello

I wish I knew the perfect thing to say to you or had the perfect solution. This is unquestionably a tough patch.

The couseling will help. Hopefully will begin to drill down to what has her so miserable. But she is goin gto have to work at it too. And that may be the rub.

Hold on dear. We are out here praying for you. I know that it will pass but right now, it is probably impossible to see that.

You will be in my thoughts. If there is any way we can help...

anything I can do,let me know - I'll pm you my contact details, as I'm not at work at mo (car broke down....long story)

Not being funny, but keep mobiles in pockets, lock away ANY cash, and MAKE SURE you know where all valuable/saleable items are, lock away if necessary.

Try to keep her away from her "crowd" at all costs; don't give her the slightest opportunity to carry on the way she has been. Counselling? Is this the Dad and new wife issue again? Has he been kept in the loop on this - watch your back, and don't take the blame he's bound to try to push onto you.

New house: I've been in physical security before, and run my own small computer company, so if you need any cameras, alarms etc. for the house, I can get trade prices and probably parcel over to you.

If you need specific help on anything, let me know.

Best of luck, Shell. Keep your chin up.

GG

While I can't claim to know how you feel, I did have some pretty scary times with my son. He's now 19 and seems to be on a better track, but I'm still holding my breath. When he was 17, he was caught doing drugs (the white powdery kind tht you sniff) and smoked pot all the time. He's incredibly smart, but dropped out of school his Senior year. He now has his GED, he cut ties with all his friends and seems to be happier. Now..getting a job and enrolling in school would be great, however, I'm just thankful that I'm not worrying that he might not survive any given day.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Just hang on, do what you have to do, and try to remember to smile every once in a while. Your daughter is at a difficult age, just do the best you can do and know that this will pass.

How's your husband holding up thru all this? He's gotta be in a tough situation.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the best.

Mambo

I am sure much of this DOES come directly from your EX's mind trips, lowering the Little ones feelings of selfworth.

Keep up the issolation, and keep her off the computer. IM and myspace would be a big way of them keeping things going. I would even load some monitoring software. I used Spector to find out about my wifes affair and plans, and then later to monitor my boys activity. The difference is, the EX didn't know about the software until after out divorce was finalize and I let her know just how much I knew how much she had been up to behind my back, while the boys know NOW that I can see everything they do on my computers, and to watch themselves.

If you can keep up the issolation, wormboy will look for an easier target and move on.

The very best of wishes, to your whole family. Keep in mind while this is hard on you, this will put a big strain on your husband too. Do not allow the crisis with the little one to ruin your marrage. Good luck dear.

jd

and your daughter.

bryan

how hard this is because I have counseled with teens for a long time and I know how hard it is only through this not through personal experience. Keep her with the professional counseling for as long as she needs it (according to the counselor not according to her). Also, as much as you and your husband can stay directly involved with her counseling the better for all of you. It can work. I've seen many people come through this.

Stay with it and don't give up. Your daughter is worth the hard work and fight to win!

A lot of us will be with you on this and I do pray for all of you.

... and maybe loser boyfriend can fall up a flight of stairs or two in the interim?

;)

Keep your eye on the prize. Just keep soldiering on, even if you are taking baby steps, you are taking steps. Good luck with everything, I will say a prayer for you!

i'm sorry you have all this going on with your daughter right now. maybe you can tell the dude hanging around you'll call police if you ever catch him near your house or her. hopefully he'll move on as well. if these problems are related to your ex, hard as it is suggest to him counselling for both of them alone as well as counselling for you and your daughter. not to mention the three of you. it could be her acting out for some attention from the both of you at the same time.

I too am having difficulties with a teenaged daughter. She got in with the wrong crowd, ditched school, stole cash (and my debit card) stayed out for several nights, etc, etc, etc. She refused to go to counselling, saying that she did not have a problem.

We had been considering moving prior to this so decided to go for it. Unfortunately, this made matters worse. She was constantly visiting in the old neighbourhood, staying out later than she should and 'hated' the new house. My husband and I went to family counselling. I went to a support group. That was helpful because we were able to see that we were good people and how to deal with this.

It has been four years now. She has mostly settled down now but still refuses to admit that counselling will help. Because of her behaviour, she is at least 2 grades behind what she should be in school.

My advise to you is DO NOT GIVE UP. Even though we struggle each day, I hope and pray that she will come around and one day appreciate us. You and your husband should look into family counselling for assistance in this. Think about the move VERY carefully before doing so (get counselling before making a final decision).

My prayers are with you.