General discussion

Locked

What is the worst faux pas you ever made?

By jardinier ·
I have no idea if this topic will take off but at this point I will talk about ANYTHING other than global warming.

The following is not the most serious faux pas I have ever made -- far from it -- but it is the one that lingers longest in my list of regrets and missed opportunities.

Many, many years ago I was introduced by a friend to a most gorgeous, voluptuous young Jewish girl, Damaris Judd. My friend advised me that there was no point in attempting to court her as she was only interested in platonic relationships.

Foolishly I took his word for it and created this poetic masterpiece:

Platonic Polly, what a dolly
She won't do it, but oh golly
Can she stimulate your brain
With philosophy inane
Platonic Polly you're a pain

Shortly afterwards Damaris and her sister Ines, while their parents were away, invited myself and a friend Terry to dinner.

I handed Damaris my poem at the door. I have no idea what motivated me to do this, but I did it and that is that.

When we were invited inside, Terry and myself saw that the two sisters had gone to elaborate lengths to prepare a sumptuous, multi-course meal.

Having already eaten -- as we were not in rhythm with conventional eating habits -- we were only able to pick at the lavish spread.

I have no recollection of the conversation which took place but after dinner and some chatting, Damaris took herself to bed while Terry made out with Ines in the kitchen. As I had come in Terry's car, I had to hang around to all hours of the morning while he pleasured Ines.

I walked into Damaris' bedroom where she was sitting up in bed in a nightie, which clearly revealed the full curves or her perfect bust (eat your heart out GG). But of course it was no touchie.

The upside to this disastrous exercise in poor taste is that I was inspired by Damaris to write the most beautiful love song I have ever written: ?The Vision.?

I sang it to her either before or after the night of the dinner -- I do not recall -- but she got a little upset because it was a very passionate song and she was concerned that I had such strong feelings for her.

After the rejection I composed the saddest song I have ever written -- "Them long, long lonely night blues."

I actually composed this in my flat at about 3 am one morning. It was so sad that it was many years before I could bear to play and sing it.

However the love song "The Vision" was part of my repertoire when, many years later, I did some busking in Kings Cross with -- would you believe -- a totally gorgeous looking German girl who DID NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

If this discussion happens to take off, I will post some more of my regrettable misadventures.
.

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

4 total posts (Page 1 of 1)  
| Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -

Worst Faux Pas?

by X-MarCap In reply to What is the worst faux pa ...

Oh that is a hard one, There have been many and often spectacular gaffs before I grew up.

I think one of the worst was walking up to a woman and asking her when she was due.
1. She wasn't married.
2. Her Fiancee was a preacher
3. She wasn't pregnant.
4. She wasn't even the person I thought she was.(a prgnant cousin)
5. congratulations weren't in order.

Collapse -

Here's one especially for you tjsanko

by jardinier In reply to What is the worst faux pa ...

As you will have gathered by now, I have studied Eastern religions as well as Christianity and developed my own religions philosophy based to a large degree on Christianity, but incorporating certain aspects of Eastern religious philosophy.

As a young journalist I applied for the position of Public Relations Officer for the Anglican Archdiocese of Sydney.

During my interview I said that I considered Eastern religions to be superior to Christianity.

I did not get the job.

Collapse -

These may qualify as faux pas.

by OnTheRopes In reply to What is the worst faux pa ...

Today?

Called one of my old hardworking truck driving friends on the job from my poolside and complained that I?d almost over-grilled the Black Angus ribeye steak that I had for lunch today and that I might have to get a cold beer to help wash it down.

Yesterday?

Posted my monthly allotment of stoopid stuff to TR.


Last week?

I told my wife that I was going to show my son-in-law a brand new way to carry his cellphone if he didn?t take it off speakerphone when he used it in the living-room. He was just around the corner. So far so good.

Last month?

I told my brother-in-law on a Saturday get-together that he should retire after 30 years at FOMOCO (Ford Motor Co.), because he wasn?t going to live forever and he might as well enjoy the time he has left. The following Monday before he went to work he was life-flighted to Ohio for a 5-way emergency heart bypass.


Last year?

I reminded another brother-in-law, at the above brother-in-laws house, that he had previously said that the Lions always win on Thanksgiving Day after they lost while we were all watching them after eating Thanksgiving dinner.

We don?t go over to the other brother-in-laws house for New Years anymore.

Bummer.


Last decade?

I told my Boss the truth about why the business was in the shape it was in after being asked.


Ever?

Said yes when I should have said no. That?s as specific as I?m going to be right here too except to say that it's not too often you get to see the CEO of a Fortune 500 company clean all of the stuff off of his Vice-Presidents desk with one sweep of his arm,(monitor and everything) before putting his fist through the wall and slamming the door behind him as he leaves.

Collapse -

My faux-pas is recurring...

by swheeler In reply to What is the worst faux pa ...

My repeated faux-pas is believing that I know more than other people in my effort to be helpful in improving their lives. My partner reminded me that we're a lot further on the road of life than our friends, so don't be so critical. The crux is the difference between "knowing" and "doing" what's necessary to reach your goals. I've assumed if you aren't reaching your goals and are struggling, you must not know what to do. It's well-intentioned but utterly insulting to our friends. The bonus is I'm grossly overweight and the same advice applies to myself!

Back to Community Forum
4 total posts (Page 1 of 1)  

Related Discussions

Related Forums