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  • #2193428

    What is your best excuse for skipping work?


    by zlitocook ·

    I was reading a few on line blogs and mags. I thought about my reasons for calling in sick and why. What is your best call in sick and why?
    One of mine was a woman who was more then interested in me, she would ask for me all the time. If I could not come to her desk she would find me. She then asked me to come to her house and look at her wireless setup. I told her that I do not do home repairs, she then convenced my boss that she works from home sometimes and needed her access point checked out. And I was the only one she wanted to do that. As much as I would have liked to fix her access point, I am sure it was a very fine device! I am married and have a son close to her age I do not need this kind of problem in my life. I called in and said I was a car accident and would be out for awhile.
    Let me point out that she would display her uh..skills with vary nice blouses that would open too far and bring me food and other things to brighten my day, like a photo of her from glamer shots. Do not get me wrong she is a great looking 30 year old redhead, about 130 pounds and most of the guys stop talking and watch her go walking by. But if I was not married I would fix her access points all day long!
    Now all the women are here are going to flame me but oh well;)

All Comments

  • Author
    • #3079025


      by jaqui ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      what’s that?
      As long as I get my pot of coffee into me before I leave the house, I’m fine, and never get sick.

      • #3097286


        by noyoki ·

        In reply to sick?

        An entire POT of coffee??! Oi! How is it you don’t simply expire!?

        • #3097131


          by jaqui ·

          In reply to Pot??!

          one when I wake up,
          one before lunch,
          one before finishing work,
          3 more before bed.
          total 7 pots of coffee a day.

          and at that, I’ve cut down from 14 a day.

        • #3098866

          I think he means cup

          by ijusth1 ·

          In reply to yup

          or mug …

        • #3259838


          by old-timer ·

          In reply to yup

          You’re lucky.
          Most days I get a cup of coffee at about 9.
          Reheat it and get my second sip about 3.

        • #3259217


          by osumiller ·

          In reply to yup

          I’m impressed. More coffee tha even I can consume in a day.

        • #3098748

          Jaqui’s not the only one!

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to Pot??!

          I (and probably many others here as well) do at least a pot of coffee a day; possibly more on a bad day. There’s nothing wrong with properly filtered & brewed coffee that consuming it won’t fix! But, unlike Jaqui, I need to put in a little half-n-half. Military midshift coffee cannot be consumed unaltered!

          Coffee! You can sleep when you’re dead!

        • #3259520

          coffee and sugar

          by bewolfe ·

          In reply to Jaqui’s not the only one!

          I am down to 5 or so pots of coffee a day. I uused sugar for a while but the coffee keep dissolving the spoons. Who needs that much steel in your system, besides it gives a funny taste to the coffee.

        • #3257982

          …and with all that coffee the excuse is

          by schoolnettech ·

          In reply to coffee and sugar

          I can drive to work because I?d be away from the bathroom for more than 10 minutes.

        • #3273115

          Absolutely – 2 Pots a day

          by trafficjon ·

          In reply to Jaqui’s not the only one!

          I drink a minimum of two POTS (not cups, not mugs – Trust me on that one) a day.

          More on the weekend.

          I am, however, down from the 4+ pots of coffee I used to drink.

        • #3143277

          Try some…

          by ytvette ·

          In reply to Absolutely – 2 Pots a day

          Try a couple Vivarins! You even get a little buzz from it!

      • #3099076


        by montgomery gator ·

        In reply to sick?

        You mix your coffee and pot together? Wouldn’t they kind of counteract each other? One makes you mellow, the other makes you hyper, I thought.

        • #3098058


          by jaqui ·

          In reply to Pot?

          I do touch any narcotic substance.
          pure coffee..with cream, not even polluted with sugar.

        • #3098669


          by noyoki ·

          In reply to naw

          With that many *POTS* of coffee, what’s a little sugar boost?

        • #3098595

          Caffeine is a drug

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to naw

          And like you, its my drug of choice, though I am a dabbler compared to you (3-6 cups a day).


        • #3099413


          by shellbot ·

          In reply to naw

          i thought i was bad! Last year some days i was hitting about 12-15 cups a day, at work.

          I finally cut down when i was having horrible headaches on weekends..realised it was because i was pretty much going through withdrawals !

        • #3258889

          Mixing coffee with pot

          by jessie ·

          In reply to Pot?

          will get you nothing but crunchy coffee. Not a good idea. ]:)

        • #3260075

          I wonder if you could do it?

          by djini ·

          In reply to Mixing coffee with pot

          1. Extract the THC from the plant
          2. Inject into espresso?
          3. Wake and bake!
          hmm… I wonder if it can be done and what it would do?

        • #3272771

          Nature already did it

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to I wonder if you could do it?

          They call it Sativa! Up buzz,i.e. shovel a foot of snow out of the driveway, the neighbors driveway, the neighbors Grandmothers driveway the…

          err… that’s what my old neighbor that lived way over there a long time ago told me. I couldn’t say myself.

          Caffeine, yeah yeah. That’s what I like.
          Whoa dude. You oughta see this screensaver dude.

      • #3259080

        Tried and tested – I need to go now ,my kid is in trouble

        by ivanong ·

        In reply to sick?

        This one guaranteed – call in to say your kids are in serousely sick/injured , normally folks are sympathetic on this note. Works even when you are already in the office and when a slack spike kicks in.

        When activated in an office environment, it must be applied with full urgency to inject a sense of realism and anxiousness on the matter thereby showing your good parental instincts – which make for good management traits by the way.

        Examples – fishbone/spitting blood/injured in fight at school(and teacher called)/ fainted/ mysterious constant vomitting/Stomache pains.

        Might not be ethical to some to do this – but we are talking hooky right ?!

        • #3258541

          Needs of going to bank

          by madamliquidmar ·

          In reply to Tried and tested – I need to go now ,my kid is in trouble

          Go to bank as banker called for urgent document to verify and sign.

        • #3258030

          Here is the thing

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Needs of going to bank

          If you were my employee, and asked for a couple of hours to go to the bank and sign the doc, I’d say sure, ask you what the impact was, ask you to make it up over the next two weeks and let you go. I wouldn’t be watching you like a hawk to ensure you give every minute back, I’d be flexible.

          But if you lie to me, then I can’t trust you any more and why at that point should I not insist you either find a way to do it on your own time or use vacation for this.

          See how that works?


        • #3257810

          But James,

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to Here is the thing

          That would mean doing everything completely at odds with their mindset..
          being honest, actually earning their way instead of having it handed to them on a platter..

          I agree with you, that the only time to call in sick is when you are sick.
          Last night my back popped out.. severe pain from breathing, any movement was a killer.
          [ picking up a 20 oz cup of coffee is what caused it to go out ]
          so today I spent the day in bed, and got the muscles to relax enough so I could pop it back into place.

          I didn’t call in sick though, it was a planned and scheduled day off. 🙂
          If I had been scheduled to work today, I would have been at work, just operating at about 60% of normal effectiveness. Yes, I have had this happen in the past, and have worked with my back out of place. [ technically a rib popped out of the socket ] eating prescription painkillers like candy to even work. This was working as a bank teller on the busiest day on the month..welfare wednesday, so calling in wasn’t actually a viable option, there was no on call staff not already scheduled to work. the average balance for any csr that day was 250,000.00 every month on that day.
          My personal balance on this particular day was 450,000.00 not my normal 600,000.00

          I did take the rest of the week off, to get it into place and let the damaged muscles heal.

        • #3257659

          If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to But James,

          I’m not sure I’d go to your extreme to come in even when in heavy pain. And I don’t expect people with contagious diseases to come into work. In fact I got really angry once with someone who was really very very sick, and frankly contagious, sweaty, sneazing etc., who did not go home when I ordered him to (nicely but firmly I thought).

          Some of my mentors taught me there is no point having someone around that you can’t trust because of the management overhead of micromanaging someone like that. So, if you want to have a good career, instead of a job, have integrity, tell the truth and be trustworthy.


        • #3257614

          If it had not

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one

          been for the fact of having a few thousand clients come through the doors that day I wouldn’t have come in.
          the clients lined up overnight in some cases to get into the bank early, since they knew it would be a huge lineup all day.

          Our client base was 97% people on assistance.
          at 11 pm the night before, with all staff already scheduled to work, calling in sick would have been a severe issue.[ scheduled start time for entire staff at 8 am ]

          and being slowed to only 150% of the other tellers instead of my normal 200% of their output.. it’s not enough of a difference to matter. I happen to get very little effect from painkillers because of the pain, that’s why I had to get out of any sort of physical work, eating painkillers to even get out of bed most days was not what I wanted to be doing.
          I can’t use over the counter painkillers at all, they have zero effect unless I endanger myself through overdose. 🙁

        • #3107612

          Look at the thread

          by ivanong ·

          In reply to If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one

          Goodness , from the way the thread reads hoped this would be interesting . Thanks for the advice but really it is all taken with jest in mind.

          As for corp.civic conciouseness over a thread like this ….please. can it.

        • #3088034

          only human

          by highlander718 ·

          In reply to If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one

          I don’t know of anyone who did not use a false excuse at least once to skip work for at least a few hours. Think about it, you cannot simply tell your boss that you’re going to an interview for example. Than I think it is more than natural that once or twice a year you just don’t feel like working (actualy I feel that almost all the time :-)) and if indeed there are no extreme situations at work (like customers lining up) you just call in sick and go fishing or skiing.

        • #3257693

          extend banking hours

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to Needs of going to bank

          That’s one of the reasons banking hours do extend to 20:00 (or 8:00 pm if you like). @ least in the NL it is. Or even on Saturday?s.

      • #3134426

        Don’t feel bad

        by dr_zinj ·

        In reply to sick?

        I used to drink 2 entire pots of coffee a day until I had to cut back to 1 measly cup of half-caf due to high blood pressure.

        I have been known to, ah, stay home to take care of my wife, who just happened to be bed-ridden that day.


    • #3079019

      Back in the daze of being a shop rat

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I used to work in a Union shop while I was putting myself through college.

      Wednesday nights was dart league night. On the good nights were we were closing the bars down and feeling pretty well lit up, I would call from the bar and leave a message that I would not be in.

      My foreman once came up to me and told me there was caller ID and a time stamp for when we call in, and my response was “and?”. Contract says I have to call in, not that I have to have a valid reason or be calling from home. Some people were sick on mondays, I was sick on Thursdays.

      Another time I couldn’t/wouldn’t make it in, but the receptionist was there to answer the phone. Told her I wouldn’t be in and she asked me WHY I wouldn’t be in. Told her my balls itched. That was the LAST time she EVER asked ME why I wouldn’t be in! Too friggen funny! :^O

      • #3098911


        by mswanberg ·

        In reply to Back in the daze of being a shop rat

        Depending on the relationship you have with your boss, sometimes honesty can be entertaining.

        One boss I had, I called in hungover. That didn’t go over very well. She got really peeved at me over that. So, I came into the office and stared at my keyboard all day.

        On a different occasion, I was trying to buy a boat. There was a lot of hassle: financing, trailer hitch, yadda yadda… So, I called my boss (different one than above) and said, “I need a mental health day… I’m trying to get this boat thing done and it’s going to take all day.” His reply: “Don’t tell me THAT! Make something up!”

      • #3258934

        You have it easy

        by peter_es_uk ·

        In reply to Back in the daze of being a shop rat

        I’m self employed and my boss is a real b*****d – never lets me stop, never accepts an excuse, even when I’m really sick!! Please somebody give me an idea – how can I put one over this control freak??

        • #3258801

          That’s easy

          by techlizard ·

          In reply to You have it easy

          It’s called Tylenol PM or adult beverage of choice. Either one of these, the latter in large quantities, will render your boss unable to bug you. Your boss will call in sick too!

        • #3259872

          good excuse

          by james b. ·

          In reply to You have it easy

          Call in with anal glaucoma.

          “Yeah boss, anal glaucoma. What are the symptoms? Well, I just can’t see my ass coming into work today…..”

          works every time……you want to get fired.

      • #3258704


        by lsmith1989 ·

        In reply to Back in the daze of being a shop rat


      • #3272762

        In my own shoprat daze

        by ontheropes ·

        In reply to Back in the daze of being a shop rat

        One Friday night my Supervisor TOLD me that I was going to get something in my eye at 10:00pm and that he was going to have to take me to the ER. I’ll be darned if at 10:00 my eye didn’t start tearing up. Turns out it was just cigarette smoke so seeing as we had already left, and somehow got a change of clothes, we went to the club and promptly ran into the Shops owner at the same club.

        For some reason I was promoted from gopher (janitor) to greasy dude (screw machine operator), with a good raise the following Monday. About a month later I met the owners wife who WASN’T at that club with the owner that night.

    • #3079017

      I have no idea what you’re saying

      by m_a_r_k ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      First, you ask about making up excuses for skipping work. Second, you tell us about a woman being interested in you. Finally, you tell us about having a car crash. What in the world do any of those three things have to do with each other? Is this some sort of brain-teaser riddle?

    • #3079012

      Up all night with wife having baby

      by mjd420nova ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      She’d gone into labor on am thursday delivered
      near 5pm and came out of recovery at midnight.
      My job was aboard a US Navy destroyer escort
      homeported in Pearl Harbor Hawaii. I called
      the bosses (poor reference–Sorry) and they
      knew the drill, I still had until noon to report aboard. I talked to the chain of command,
      explained the situation and arranged for
      two weeks leave. By 1215 I was back on the road home for two weeks of parental boot camp.
      Good excuse ?? I guess it’s all in how
      you veiw things….

      • #3079002


        by jaqui ·

        In reply to Up all night with wife having baby

        the NAVY gives time off for parenting?!?! 😉

        that’s not an excuse, that is a very common situation now, for both parents to take time off just after the baby arrives.

        • #3098004

          My father was in the Navy for 31 years….

          by geekchic ·

          In reply to what?!?!

          He was told at the birth of all 3 of us (me and my brothers) that it was only necessary for him to be there for the “berthing” and not for the “launching”. The Navy sure must have changed if they let the daddy off for 2 weeks!

        • #3259517

          New Born

          by mjd420nova ·

          In reply to My father was in the Navy for 31 years….

          The Navy has changed, my child was born in
          Honolulu during the Veit Nam war. I knew she was
          pregnant before I departed for the Far East
          the on the previous September and returned
          after the cease fire in February 1973. I’d stood duty for many others during our deployment
          so I wouldn’t have to spend any nights away
          from home(no duty) until the baby was born.
          I still worked every day, and with only 250
          crewmates everyone knew and the XO knew what
          was coming down.

        • #3260027

          Leave defined

          by darrin.carey ·

          In reply to what?!?!

          Military “Leave” is earned vacation time, not free time.

    • #3097677

      mr confucious

      by nazil dsouza ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      hey u have zipped 3 ideas in one sentence anyway my best excuse for skipping work would be : backache ” hahaha hope i dont get one

    • #3097671

      Tell the idiot

      by ozi eagle ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?


      I just tell the idiot I work for that I don’t feel like working!


      The Idiot

    • #3097637

      Call in Well!

      by fiddly bits ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      -been sick of this job for weeks and it is a great day for trout fishing in America

    • #3097614

      my cat

      by shellbot ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      my cat Rumtumtugger got ran over last June. Took 2 days off work (i was absolutley heart broken), i didn’t tell them the real reason, i just said i was sick..

      so..we could start another thread, best reason why you pulled a sickie ?

    • #3097585

      A baaad excuse

      by dmambo ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      A 21 year-old kid who worked in the factory I managed once called me (on a Friday afternoon for the evening shift) and told me he wouldn’t be in because his mother died. I gave him my condolences and went to the day supervisor to ask her to leave a note for the evening supervisor. When I told the day supervisor that Ted would not be in and told her the reason, she screamed “What? Tillie died?!?” and went running out of the plant in tears. It seems that she grew up as the best friend of the “corpse”. She returned in an hour. She had composed herself and let me know that Ted would indeed be in that evening.

      • #3097579

        Wouldn’t work here

        by jamesrl ·

        In reply to A baaad excuse

        When one of our colleagues loses someone close to them, its customary here, and at other places I’ve worked to at a minimum pay our respects at the funeral home, and in many cases attend the funeral in support of our colleague.

        So you wouldn’t get away from it here – we would be asking which funeral home should we send the flowers to.


        • #3097562

          Yes, we did the same

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to Wouldn’t work here

          It turned out that the kid had been planning to go to a party Friday and didn’t want to call in drunk, so his friends put him up to it. At the time, he was a temporary employee, so he wasn’t entitled to the benefits that full-time employees wwould have had such as paid berevement time, etc. However, the additional info I received later did stop me from asking the HR dept to have flowers sent.

          Lesson learned – do not lie when you live and work in a small town.

    • #3097572

      There is none

      by jamesrl ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      As a manager, even if I take a legitimate day off for vacation (and I am forced to use my vacation days) all it means is more stress when I come back and face my growing inbox.

      If I found out you pulled that kind of stunt on me(calling in for a car crash for three weeks off) I would fire your ass without breaking a sweat.

      If you have a problem with someone at work deal with it. Avoiding coming to work only delays facing it.


      • #3097389

        as a manager

        by tink! ·

        In reply to There is none

        What would you do if:
        Your employee did get into a car accident, wasn’t injured, but the car was totalled. This employee lived 45 min from work. There were no train or bus stations in their town. The nearest public transit was in a town 15-20 min away. Cost of a cab (even to the train station) would take most of the employee’s daily earnings. And this employee had 1 kid and 1 on the way, and was the only income for the family.
        Would there be any option you as a manager, would offer the employee?
        (ok, the employee is me.)

        • #3097331

          As a manager

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to as a manager

          I posted before and it somehow didn’t take.

          I would look at your situation entirely differently than the OP. The OP is essentially lying to get off work.

          If you had a car accident and couldn’t get to work, the first thing I would look at is whether you can do your job from home. As we speak I have an employee working from home today who had car problems – he took hsi car into the garage and he will make up the time. He has a laptop and can easily be as productive from home as he is in the office. If the same was true for you, I would drive your computer to you.

          If you needed to get to the office, I would encourage you to look at alternatives. I know my insurance covers rental cars if I am involved in an non-at fault accident. If thats not an option, and you can’t use rent-a-wreck or borrow a car or car pool(I would help arrange) I would look at how much vacation you have. Perhaps you could work some days at home, some in the office, and use some vacation.

          I have compassion and empathy but I also have to be fair to all employees. I am the only income for my family and not by choice. I have struggled to put food on the table. With a little flexibility and compassion, I hope you can get through the rough spot.


        • #3097301


          by tink! ·

          In reply to As a manager

          You sound like a good manager. My boss at the time did not offer any help whatsoever. She did not try to see if anyone could possibly pick me up (but I kinda figured that wouldn’t happen anyway since most ppl did live closer to work and so picking me up would’ve been out of the way). Nor did she offer train pass to work (even though we frequently got them for travel to the city office). I basically used up my vacation and then was terminated because I couldn’t make it in.
          But I look back on that and see it now as a good thing. It was a dead-end job anyway (I was an assistant bookkeeper and my boss was the Bookkeeper and HR manager. No place further for me to go) And I never would’ve gotten into IT!
          (plus my pay sucked. I am now living in my own home with 3 kids. Never would’ve happened on the old salary!

        • #3097257

          I am 45 mins away

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to alas

          But I know of others in the office who live in the same city, and on occasion I have given them lifts or vice versa. Would I go out of my way? Of course. I go out of my way for customers all the time, why should I do less for my employees.

          I do think the employee “owns” the responsibility to get to work. But a little help goes a long way and is the decent thing to do.


        • #3097213

          I gotta ask a question

          by jck ·

          In reply to As a manager

          You said:

          [i]”If you had a car accident and couldn’t get to work, the first thing I would look at is whether you can do your job from home. As we speak I have an employee working from home today who had car problems – he took hsi car into the garage and he will make up the time. He has a laptop and can easily be as productive from home as he is in the office. If the same was true for you, I would drive your computer to you.”[/i]

          I want to make sure I understand you…

          Your worker is working “as productive” at home …but…is going to have to make the time up later for not being in the office?

          You aren’t going to give the employee credit for hours worked at home when it was done with your blessing?

          I don’t know what Canadian labour law is like, but you should be careful.

          If you allow an employee to do their work from home and your labour agreement/contract with them does not specify that attendance in the office is mandatory to be considered work, you may be held liable for defrauding your employee of legitimate work time.

          I hope that’s not what you’re saying. If so that would be pretty crappy of you to work them 8 hours at the house, then make them come in for 8 hours to the office and work to for time they’ve already put in with your blessing at home.

          Hopefully, you just meant any difference…and not an entire day.

        • #3097207

          read it again

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to I gotta ask a question

          The employee took time out of his day to have his car looked at. Presumably he will have to take time to pick it up and pay for it as well. That was time he was not being productive for me. He will make up the part of his day that he took to deal with his car problems. Oh and by the way, he is available by our company paid cell phone.

          But I am not even going to track how much time he is off – I know he will make up the time and be fair.

          I’m not defrauding anyone. I am being a flexible employer.


        • #3099308

          I read it

          by jck ·

          In reply to read it again

          Usually when I have a car problem, I don’t attempt to drive 20 miles to work and tell my employer in person, then go to the garage.

          I call my employer and let them know, then I try to get my car to the garage that’s 2 miles away. Then if I can, I get to the office. Otherwise, I have them take me home until it is fixed, pick me up, get my car, and head to work if it’s not late in the day.

          The way it was worded, it sounded like he took the car to the garage, then was working from home while it was in the garage.

          Then, you said he would have to make the time up.

          The wording just sounded like you were expecting him to come into the office for “face time”.

          Sorry…mixed signals.

        • #3099294

          Mixed signals?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I read it

          or being argumenative? :O

          Face it, you were getting hot after all of Jaqui’s posts and were looking to get someone to beat on you! 😀

          I don’t think you will find that it is a case of “if you’ve seen one Canuck, you have seen them all”, ESPECIALLY when we are talking Jaqui here! Whipping up the wrong tree! :^O

        • #3099280

          I thought it was fairly clear

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to I read it

          He took his car into the garage and he will make up the time.

          I could have added “the time he spent at the garage”.

          In fact he didn’t even ask. He didn’t have to.


        • #3099156

          just to prove I read it

          by jck ·

          In reply to I read it

          I’ll quote the statements…in order…as you typed them:

          [i]”If you had a car accident and couldn’t get to work, the first thing I would look at is whether you can do your job from home.”[/i]

          OK…that one…totally clear.

          [i]”As we speak I have an employee working from home today who had car problems – he took hsi car into the garage and he will make up the time.”[/i]

          This is where it gets fuzzy.

          If he had car problems when he got up in the morning, I would think he wouldn’t try to get to work and possibly get stranded somewhere between.

          Of course, I don’t know what Canadians think like. Just kinda thought it’d be stupid to get stranded in the winter between home and work in Canada.

          On the other hand, I wouldn’t think anyone would find out they had car problems at least until lunch and quite possibly until the end of the day if you work 9-11 hours straight 5 days a week like I do.

          Hence, I thought it was that he found the problem with the car when he was leaving for work or before he left the office. Then, took the car in.

          [i]”He has a laptop and can easily be as productive from home as he is in the office.”[/i]

          So now, you established that he was going to be working from home with your blessing, after having stated he had taken the car to the garage.

          This would lead me to believe if he found the problem with the car in the morning before leaving or during his drive, he would be working at home shortly after taking the car to the garage.

          If he found it as he was leaving work, he would work from the house starting the next morning.

          If he was trying to go to lunch, he would take it there or have it towed after informing you and arranging service for it, and then go home and work from there and finish his day

          [i]”If the same was true for you, I would drive your computer to you.”[/i]

          That is clear too.

          So anyways…that’s why I thought what I did. Take it as you will. I can read though, I promise.

          I gradjiatid frum skool. :^O

        • #3098905

          Kindness and Understanding is Better

          by emayfield ·

          In reply to read it again

          If someone has car troubles (or any other troubles) that day, just give them the day off so that they can take care of it.

          And, if it’s clear that a person could use the time to take care of personal issues, don’t make them come asking you for it, have the discernment to know when your employees need the time off and offer it to them.

          You can’t go wrong with the golden rule.

          The problem is when people are in a position of power/authority they almost always begin to abuse it right away.

          Your employees are providing a service to you in exchange for wages. They are not servants and their lives (generally speaking) belongs to them and only them. Most people I know will appreciate kindness and understanding and will return it with greater loyalty back.

        • #3258864

          You really don’t get it

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Kindness and Understanding is Better

          I did allow my staff member the day – they did work from home, and spent time making up the time they spent at the garage.

          And yes, according to company policy, I’m not allowed to do that, but I did anyway, which would get me into more trouble than my employee.

          But they do have to inform me. You can’t just decide not to work and not inform anyone.

          I don’t abuse my authority, far from it. But I don’t let people take adavantage of my good nature either. I do practise the golden rule every day.

          I’ve never treated staff like servants, and you are frankly ignorant to make such assumptions.

          My own staff would have a great howl at your expense if I showed them this posting of yours. You make me out to be some monster that clearly I am not.


        • #3258561

          you have x amout of sick days left

          by mjwx ·

          In reply to Kindness and Understanding is Better

          that’s what my boss will tell me. If I use all ten I need a certificate.

          James, people aren’t robots (and staff are people) sometimes we just need a break. I’m not having a go at you but everyone needs a “mental health day” once in a while. (especially techies as our sanity is sapped at an alarming rate).


        • #3259234

          Mental Health Days…..

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Kindness and Understanding is Better

          As I have said, once in a while is ok. I suspect some of the times my staff have called in sick, they needed a mental health day. But its the OP’s 3 weeks – thats abuse, clear and simple.

          If you know you need a day every now and then, schedule it. I see a lot of people carry over vacation and not use it – thats what it is for.


        • #3260074

          Taking advantage

          by blarman ·

          In reply to As a manager

          The crux of this is that a coworker is trying to use her job as an excuse to further her social life. In many states this can qualify as sexual harassment.

          The employee needs to make a formal complaint to Human Resources and tell the offender straight up that she is more than attractive enough to find someone eligible, but that it isn’t him. Management should be attentive enough to deal with the situation.

        • #3259165


          by osumiller ·

          In reply to as a manager

          If in the IT inudstry, why not telecommute until car can be repaired/replaced?

      • #3097204

        Good boss…

        by ladyreader ·

        In reply to There is none

        I had a car accident in December and my boss gave me a ride to and from work for 5 days, while my car was in the body shop. On the one day he couldn’t drive me home, he arranged for his spouse to do it. That’s what I call “above and beyond the call of duty”… or compassion.

        • #3099306

          me too

          by jck ·

          In reply to Good boss…

          although my boss is male.

          I had car problems one day and my boss stopped by my house, gave me a ride to work, and at the end of the day, we took off 20 minutes before 5pm and he took me to the garage to pick it up.

          In our section, we treat everyone the same…even the boss talks with us like we are his equals. And when someone needs a ride, we don’t care if we have to go out of the way 5 or 10 miles.

          In the end, it makes the workplace better for us all.

      • #3260101


        by rob mekel ·

        In reply to There is none

        James, I totally agree with you and your later responses. It’s the question of situation that makes how to respond.

        So there are no excuses but only reasons to, maybe, skip work.

        So to the original starting thread: It is only your employers issue if you make a notice of the behavior of your co-worker to your employer AND your employer isn’t doing anything about it. Then still you can’t stop working but can make it clear to your employer that it sickens you if you have to work under these conditions. And take it from there to the proper channels to handle this issue.

      • #3258471

        Managers get problems too!

        by smogmonster ·

        In reply to There is none

        I would support you all the way – if someone was conning the company out of money by skivving (as we call it this side of the pond) I’d have no hesitation getting rid of the guy, even though it is more difficult ditching the dead wood here from a legal standpoint. Our organisation supports people who are up front about problems and if you are honest, the top brass will support you. I’m not top brass but when one of my guys went off sick and he called me every day for the first few days I knew he was concerned and wanted to work. It’s when someone doesn’t give a damn that it bothers me.

    • #3097543

      Anal Glaucoma

      by cortech ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Translation… “I can’t see my a$$ at work today”.

    • #3097431

      Skip the Excuses

      by wayne m. ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      As a manager, I really don’t need to know why you are taking off. I expect professionalism and time management skills from you.

      As mentioned by JamesRL, avoiding situations through sick leave is not an effective way of dealing with a situation. Also, having helped employees deal with difficult medical situations like car accidents and helped them negotiate though short-term and long-term disability assistance, I would not look favorably on someone who uses a mythical car accident to avoid work for 3 weeks.

      Act professionally while at the office, and I will treat you professionally when you say you need to be away from the office.

      • #3097164

        Employees or friends?

        by breadtrk ·

        In reply to Skip the Excuses

        All of my folks are friends. I did drive 45 miles each way, once in the AM and once in the PM for a week while his only car was in the shop for transmission replacement. In return his wife fixed dinner and it was ready when we pulled in the drive.Great cook and genuine nice gal. I hated it when he got his car back, I lost 20 lbs and almost started drinking again.

      • #3098818

        What kind of message is this sending out?

        by moira ·

        In reply to Skip the Excuses

        I can’t believe this discussion! I would never pull a sickie, in fact I’d drag myself into work even if I wasn’t well if I possibly could. Time off sick *is* noticed by employers and it’s not fair on colleagues who have to take on more work just because someone fancies a lie in, or a day shopping etc.

        I actually believe that if I’m being paid to do a job, then I owe it to the company to fulfill my side of the contract as professionally as possible. Maybe sick pay shouldn’t be given unless it was for a long term illness with a doctor’s certificate – I’m sure productivity would increase as a result and there’d be fewer sick days taken!

        • #3098766

          A job is a contractual agreement with an employer

          by thx-1138 ·

          In reply to What kind of message is this sending out?

          First off we as free citizens are not slaves as some bosses may think. We come to work because we, at some point, offered our skills for a set rate of pay. We honor our end of the agreement by coming in and working at the job we agreed to perform. The employer agreed to offer us as part of our compensation package something called ?sick time? which we use at our discretion. We are given so many hours a year and if we unwisely use them all up then we have to come in sick when we ARE sick. I personally have accumulated over 300+ hours of sick time (by accumulated I mean sick time that I haven’t used yet and that I still have coming). I rarely get sick (or take sick time) but I have used it for the occasional ?personal day?. I just call in (or email) that I’m taking a sick day. No excuses offered… period. If someone were to ask I’d say that I’m taking it because I have the sick time to use and that my projects are all on task. I can ?get away with” this because I offer quality work and honor my end of the agreement to the fullest extent of my abilities. I only expect them to honor their end in return and I have no inhibitions of saying so… point blank.

        • #3098744

          This is a sodding joke, right?

          by moira ·

          In reply to A job is a contractual agreement with an employer

          You have to be taking the ****ing piss! Which world do you live in, because I can tell you what, you wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a company in my area, unless you work for somewhere that doesn’t have to make a profit, like the council!

          What people like you need is a job with no sick pay. Believe me, if you’ve ever run your own business or worked in a place where for one reason or another you don’t get paid for sick leave, you would soon learn to turn up to do the job your employer is paying you to do. Where I live, there are people out of work who would be ready and willing to replace an employee who had excessive “sick” leave. Why should a company pay someone who isn’t working?

        • #3098707

          Far from a joke I would think

          by tech ·

          In reply to This is a sodding joke, right?

          Its patently irresponsible for you to come in to work when you are sick. You think it helps productivity for you to come in wheezing and coughing and sneezing. Spreading your disease to everyone else. Yeah what a martyr you are to the cause. And what a fabulous image you must present to any clients who come to your office.

          Flu and many other diseases that thrive in our society are spread by airbourne methods or surface methods. You going to work contributes to both. After years of out enduring this sort of nonsense from coworkers finally the medical authorities are seeing the light and are advocating that sick people should not come to work. You COST productivity. You COST business.

          There is only one cure for Flu and most related bugs – bed rest, fluids, vitamin C and paracetamol or asprin. Running around a server room or office will only make other people sick.

          Sort your act out before the pandemic hits.

        • #3259086

          Sars,Bird flu, ebola virus

          by zlitocook ·

          In reply to Far from a joke I would think

          This guy could be the next planet killer! You need to get time off from work if not because your sick just to let off steam. If you do not need time off work it is because ether you have the perfect job with no problems or worries. Or you have more problems then needed and use work to hide from them. If you are really sick you should stay home see a doctor and do as they say!
          Or do you like making others sick and being the only one who is willing to come in and infect others? Boy I am a happy person;)

        • #3259790

          Move where I live and work then…

          by thx-1138 ·

          In reply to This is a sodding joke, right?

          “I personally have accumulated over 300+ hours of sick time” means: that is how much I still have coming. Believe you me when I say that you can’t accumulate that much by excessively taking the sick time.

          “What people like you”: First of all …you don’t know me. Secondly, erase whatever image you have constructed of me in your imagination. Because it is merely a composite of a misread/mistyped paragraph of words and your own life’s experience (read perspective here) merged together to form a concept of “people like me”

          The point was that sick time is a form of compensation granted to us by our employer in exchange for our valuable labor. It *is* payment! Use it and budget it wisely as the resource that it is.

          Where I live companies make huge profits because we are some of the most productive workers in the world. We, as a group, *are the company*. We make, market and sell (and buy) the products. Most of us have stock purchasing plans so we are even investing in and owning a piece of the company.

          PUBLIC NOTICE: You only get one life and this is it… Use it and budget it wisely as the resource that it is.

        • #3259784

          Proud of my record

          by john ·

          In reply to A job is a contractual agreement with an employer

          How opinions differ! I am proud of my record as a teacher. In my last job I had just half a day off in twenty-five years! And that was for emergency dental treatment. I never gave a thought to not going in to work, to do my job, the job that I was paid good money to do, even though some of the classes left a lot to be desired. In teaching, more than most jobs, absence puts more of a work load on to colleagues, and on return there is much catching up to do, so in the end it does not pay off.
          I blame the parents in the first place! The above attitude starts in childhood, when parents give in to every whim, and so the child grows up like the person above, wanting to see with what they can get away. I wonder if, when they apply for other jobs, they get good referneces or ones that tell the truth! A persons record speaks for itself, and everyone should consider the result of their actions. I feel disciplinary action is called for in this case.

        • #3259767

          Above person? Hello that’d be me.

          by thx-1138 ·

          In reply to Proud of my record

          Do you mean me, James, or the original poster?

          If you meant me then I must remind you that you have no knowledge of my parents and thus have no cause to blame them for anything. Where were you in my life to have observed all this in any way whatsoever. You are just echoing unexamined beliefs based on outmoded paradigmatic thought. Get an original idea… they are after all mass produced in China for your consumption. Besides, if you actually read my post then you’d have read that I rarely take *my* sick time that I’m granted by my employer as part of my compensation. I have 300 *unused* hours. I work hard and keep all my projects on task… always. I’m not higher and mightier that you and you are certainly not higher and mightier than me. I also feel that disciplinary action is called for… your punishment is to go out and do something nice for yourself.

          If you noticed I used ?get away with? in quotes. Quotes are used to quote someone else. I don’t believe I’m getting away with anything but rather that I’m using the sick time granted to me by my employer.

          If you meant the original poster then ignore most of the above, but modify some of it, and then apply it to yourself as you feel I would have… have a nice day.

        • #3259111

          Reply To: What is your best excuse for skipping work?

          by moira ·

          In reply to Above person? Hello that’d be me.

          “Where I live companies make huge profits because we are some of the most productive workers in the world”

          I can believe that, because the poor consumer probably foots the bill for your so called “sick” leave.

          “Its patently irresponsible for you to come in to work when you are sick.”

          Nobody’s disputing that. What I am disputing is the justification for taking sick days off work when there’s nothing wrong with you. If a company pays you to to a job and there are days over and above paid holiday when you don’t do the work you’re employed to do, then that’s fraud. If the company wanted you to have 30 days holiday a year, then they’d grant it. They make provision in case an employee is genuinly ill, and I find it a bit sad personally, that you actually seem quite proud to admit you abuse it.

          “I’m using the sick time granted to me by my employer.”

          Your employer grants you sick time to be off sick. If you fancy a holiday then use your holiday entitlement.

          “As long as you get your job done, they should have no problem with you getting a day off for something.”

          If you really think that’s the case, then why not approach your employer with that argument? They’ll agree, right? Because it’s not a problem employees taking time off over and above their holiday entitlement and expecting to get paid.

          “I feel disciplinary action is called for in this case.”

          So do I. And you’d get it, if you worked in my area. In fact, one of my colleagues from a past job came hobbling into work on crutches after a bike accident, even though she was entitled to 3 weeks off sick, signed for by a doctor. When that company later laid off 50% of the workforce, she was one of the people to keet her job.

        • #3258979

          I?m assuming that you were indoctrinated in…

          by thx-1138 ·

          In reply to Reply To: What is your best excuse for skipping work?

          I?m assuming that you were indoctrinated in the UK and that you think your rather regimented attitudes will gain you some sort of esteem with your superiors. Possibly you even believe that you will get a job offer through your postings on this site by means of your proselytization. Well I?ve got news for you. A corporation is a heartless entity that has no loyalty to you whatsoever. It doesn?t care for or about in any way you because it can?t, despite it being a legal entity imbued with all the rights of a private citizen. At least with your boss you can have a useful relationship. I have a great relationship with my boss. I?ve told him that I?ll support him and do everything to help him shine and advance in his career? and I do. Why? *Because he is my best ally within the political structure of the company.*

          Yes, in my 6 years with the company I may have taken maybe 5 or 6 days off on sick time when I was not sick. Moreover I took them with his full knowledge. I never claimed to be sick even when I am sick. I simply take the time off at my discretion. In fact, I?ve even had him come up on numerous occasions and ask me if I had anything pressing and if I hadn?t he?d give me the rest of the day off. I?m nearly sure this appalls your sensibilities but that cannot be helped because you are the way you are. But if you weren?t, perhaps you?d be more successful, more relaxed and happier.

          Selfless martyrs are to be exploited and used to the fullest extent and then cast aside when no longer needed (that?s just the nature of things) whereas political allies are indispensable in the struggle to maintain and advance yourself in the heartless environment of a corporation. So if you think that selfless attitudes and hard work alone will save you from the axe when it falls you are *dead* wrong.

          I?ve seen the axe fall five times in my company. In the past my political connections have saved me and my boss and their bosses because we help out each other. I am the only tech left from those times. Currently we are merging with another company. They go out of their way to reassure us that no one is to be affected by the reorganization, but none the less all the department managers are scrambling to make themselves seem useful in the new order of things. In fact the other entity is the stronger of the two. I?ve made it a point to work with my boss to have him introduce himself to the IT Director of the other entity and develop a relationship. The building we are all at has a gym that the IT Director works out in. I?m going to make it a point that my boss and I workout their to network with him.

          I really hope this helps you (or someone). I put a lot of effort in this hoping that it?ll benefit you in some way. Best wishes to you and yours. Sincerely James

        • #3260106


          by itmomma ·

          In reply to Reply To: What is your best excuse for skipping work?

          This is why more and more companies are using PTO (aka Paid Time Off) in lieu of Holiday/Vacation/Sick Time. An individual is granted so many days, and what that person does with said days is at their discretion.

        • #3259475


          by jamesgrimes9 ·

          In reply to A job is a contractual agreement with an employer

          That’s exactly as it should be. As long as you get your job done, they should have no problem with you getting a day off for something. That’s how it is at my job, even though I’m not in IT yet; I’m a Networking student at a community college and currently work at Wal-Mart as a cartpusher; maybe transfering in soon.

        • #3260058

          Then you are injuring your co-workers

          by attackcomputerwhiz ·

          In reply to What kind of message is this sending out?

          If you “drag [yourself] into work even when [you aren’t] well”, then you are a big hazard to your co-workers and do everyone in your office a disservice, especially if you are contagious (cold, flu coming on, etc.)! You would be exposing all of them to your germs and thus responsible for bringing the entire office down.

          Most people have the common sense to know when they are too ill to work. Productivity wouldn’t increase if you came in with a nasty head cold, passed it around, and ended up with an office full of sniffling and wheezing zombies. Personally, I would rather not come in and spread germs all over the place–I guess I am lucky that I can call in and not be in fear of being “noticed” for getting ill.

          As for a doctor’s certificate, you cannot mean to say that you go to the doctor every single time you get a sniffle and need a note? That is counterproductive to your health (sitting in a waiting room with lots of other sick people). It also wastes both your and the doctor’s time to tell you what you already know–that you have a cold and need to go home, drink plenty of liquids, take pain relievers and get some rest.

          My employer allows self-certification of illness up to five days. After that, then a note might be required–but only if the person is known for sick leave abuse (which really doesn’t exist because if one has earned the time to use, how can it be “abused”?)

        • #3259965

          For the 50th time …..

          by moira ·

          In reply to Then you are injuring your co-workers

          FFS, I am not suggesting coming into work when you are genuinly ill. I think tracy has the best idea, ie everyone should be given so many days off a year, paid, and whether they call them holiday or sick days is up to them. Beyond this, and for a long term absence like an operation/hospital stay, a doctor’s note would be required.

          And James – yes, I’m in the UK but where I come from workers are highly valued because they have the reputation for working hard. And no, I’m not trying to get a job because I already have one I enjoy and feel quite happy in.

          And you can call it martyrdom or whatever you choose, but it is a fact that companies notice employees who take excessive “sick” leave and reward those who don’t when it comes to redundancies etc. You can see it from the employers point of view – it costs my company ?215 a day for each seat in the building (that is what they bill the client), so it is particularly important that people turn up for the job they’re being paid to do.

          I can see you’re the kind of person who doesn’t abuse sick leave and what you agree with your boss is an entirely different matter. It’s your ethos I object to – the idea that it’s perfectly OK to defraud your employer.

        • #3258620

          Sick leave SHOULD NOT BE Vacation leave!

          by tech ·

          In reply to For the 50th time …..

          PTO is the most daft idea I’ve heard on here. You lump peoples vacation time in with their sick leave and you’re going to have people taking their full entitlement off each year. How is that a good idea from the POV of anyone? Peopel who are sick will come to work so they dont waste a perfectly good day of PTO they could take when well. That doesnt work from either sides vie win the discussion. Sheesh.

          Thank you all for reminding me why being a member of a union has always been so important to me.

        • #3259161

          Problems when you think about it

          by moira ·

          In reply to Sick leave SHOULD NOT BE Vacation leave!

          I suppose the problem of PTO is it gives carte blanche to employees to take days off without giving prior warning, which is the main annoyance of sick leave, ie people not turning in and leaving the people who have come to work having to run themselves into the ground to keep service levels up to the required rate. Holidays that are planned give team managers the chance to rota in more people.

          I still think if there was a way to reward or give the equivalent time off to employees who didn’t call in sick, or took very little sick time, it might help.

        • #3107407

          Your Time Management is Not My Problem

          by wayne m. ·

          In reply to Sick leave SHOULD NOT BE Vacation leave!

          With PTO, the company is no longer trying to manage your time off.

          As a manager, I do not care to play referee and evaluate whether the time off you chose to take should be allocated to vacation or sick leave. Use up all leave time and you will need to take LWOP (Leave without pay) for a medical issue. Even if you use your leave carefully, you will probably have to use vacation time to cover absenses until short-term/long-term disability kick in.

          As long as you complete an appropriate workload and are not repeatedly MIA when I come looking for you, I do not see a problem. If you don’t meet this standard, but have a medical or other personnel issue that explains the problem, then I still don’t have a problem, although your salary might be affected.

          PTO is simple a company’s way of saying, “You are a professional. You are responsible for managing your time at the office and your time off.”

        • #3088049

          PTO & Sick Leave

          by scribe6 ·

          In reply to Sick leave SHOULD NOT BE Vacation leave!

          PTO and Sick Leave were what I had at the last place I was with. They were a municipality, so they had Public Utilities, Safety and general Public Works departments within the structure of the city government.

          If you were sick (Mental Health Days, whatever), you had to take at least 2 vacation days until you could get to your sick leave bank.

          The issue was that they had abuse problems in the past (especially by Union Members) and had shifted around the time from set Vacation to PTO hours setups. The advantage was that if you needed a couple of hours of emergency leave, you could get it without a lot of trouble. The downside was the change in sick leave policy. The downside was that it basically guarenteed that if you were out 2 days for illness, you’d be out all week. The advantage was that if you broke your leg or had some other kind of “caustrophic” health issue, you’d be able to maintain full pay for as long as your vacation and sick leave hours held before needing to take FMLA or a Leave of Absence, etc.

          PTO is just like any other time off system. It has good points and bad.

        • #3088773

          Makes sense

          by moira ·

          In reply to PTO & Sick Leave

          That sounds a reasonable way to deal with abuse of sick leave. I can see the downsides, but at least it might make people think twice.

          “I don’t know of anyone who did not use a false excuse at least once to skip work for at least a few hours. Think about it, you cannot simply tell your boss that you’re going to an interview for example. Than I think it is more than natural that once or twice a year you just don’t feel like working”

          The problem with this type of person is they probably got paid every time they were off sick.
          If you run your own business, or you don’t get sick pay, believe me you do *not* take days off just because you don’t feel like working. If I could afford it, I wouldn’t be working at all, never mind the odd day off. And I manage to schedule hospital appointments and interviews around scheduled time off – it isn’t hard.

        • #3143280

          I have to agree with you on that.

          by ssmaguire ·

          In reply to What kind of message is this sending out?

          Somedays I have had 3 people call out sick, and the managers don’t care. But I end up with the work.

      • #3259948

        Well if you are on your way out… SICK LEAVE!

        by cool it guy ·

        In reply to Skip the Excuses

        I was leaving my company for another job. My manager was a ratb*****d so i made it a point to leave him high and dry. i said i had personal issues and call HR (not him) and told them i needed to take a leave of absense.

        This worked out for me. I got to keep the company-paid phone for like 3 months into my new job. 😉

        • #3259805

          Oh thats real cool

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to Well if you are on your way out… SICK LEAVE!

          Do you know why companies have to have real strict policies and require doctors notes and such?

          Its because of people like you and the original poster. A few people who abuse the trust and make it nasty for the rest of us. That costs us all.


        • #3258744

          This is NOTan Ethics Blog Buddy

          by cool it guy ·

          In reply to Oh thats real cool

          It wasnt a a desk job but something in retail. i broke my back for those *&^**&%^%$# and got moved to a new store with a semi-promotion (more hours).

          The new manager had a complex. I was the best employee in that store but he still rode me. My numbers did not lie.

          also i never stated that i was “right” for doing that. i felt bad about leaving my cowrokers hanging but i also have to concern myself with my own best interests. I didnt intern 3 years in an IT dept and get my BS in this damn field to be an a$$&*#e’s workhorse.

          Remeber we are not discussing the ethical ramifications here… only the concept of playing hooky and excuses for doing that

        • #3258721

          Ethics aren’t something you ignore when its incovenient

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to This is NOTan Ethics Blog Buddy

          Or when it favours you.

          It might suprise you to know that I worked retail too, and like you I was the top sales guy in the store. I did get some extra attention from management, but it was to push me to do my best, and at the end of the day they promoted me.

          If you are in a bad situation, leave. But do it the right way – look for a job, get an offer, give your notice. I’ve been there done that.

          How would you feel if one of your co-workers quit and left you holding the bag, needing to work an extra 10-20 hours a week till they replaced you?

          It is a small world out there. Once upon a time I started a new job and discovered a manager who was not too competant. I didn’t mean to get anyone fired, but I discovered things that showed his lack of competence, and my role at this place made it important that I disclose them.

          Few years later, I am laid off, looking for work. Dream job comes up, 5 minute drive from my house.

          I walk into the interview, and the interviewer asks me if I know manager that I got fired. Though I think I came across great in that interview, I didn’t get the job, nor would they return my calls. Its a small world out there, and being selfish in the short run may come back to haunt you. Be ethic in all things and hopefully it will help. But even if it doesn’t you will have the satisfaction of knowing you were the a$$ your boss was.


        • #3258582

          Ethics are all relative anyhow

          by tech ·

          In reply to Ethics aren’t something you ignore when its incovenient

          Of course you can ignore ethics. Its a personal choice. All ethics really do is have everyone playing on the same level. That there is no unexpected advantage to anyone that we might interpret as unfair. But in SEAsia for example its considered standard practice to exchange gifts and to give some extras if you really want some business. To us this may be unethical. To them its normal practice.

          Is it ethical for a company to lay off its loyal workers who have treated it fairly just because they are want to increase profits? Is it ethical to not tell people what is coming and then suddenly spring mass layoffs on staff? I’d say no its not. Should corporations be ethical in the same way as employees? Should the corporation be treated as a being in its own right? Yeah it should. But are they ethical? In the majority, no.

          Turn about is fair play.

          Ultimately, reading the majority of the responses in his forum, it appears that if you feel okay with taking a day off with not being ill, then so be it, you will. And looking at the tone of the responses I’d argue that people who do that are suffering from a level of stress anyhow. And if you’re stressed then you are ill and entitled to sick leave. Just because you’re not coughing your lungs up doesnt mean you arent sick. And a person who has a day off to get their stress down will be a more productive employee than someone who drags themselves in and sits at the desk stressed and disgruntled and doing a poor level of job and presenting a poor image of the company.

          People arent drones. They are human and are entitled to be treated fairly. Reading some of these forums responses you’d think we were all galley slaves on a viking longboat or something. “You feel sick? Well we’ll step up the beat and whip you more till you feel better then!”

    • #3097289

      my favorite

      by jck ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      “I’ve got real bad diarrhea.”

      No boss wants to risk having you experience anal leakage in the middle of their office. :^O

      • #3097163

        how not to work and get paid

        by neil_essex ·

        In reply to my favorite

        I often wander around the workplace with a pen and a piece of paper in hand doing nothing whatsoever. when asked why i am not working I simply reply, ” because I did it right the first time”. no more questions asked.

        • #3099307


          by jck ·

          In reply to how not to work and get paid

          wish I could do that.

          I write software. And unless you’re a real pain to your users, you never do it right because they always want to change something or add something to it.

          Oh well…luckily, I got the automation thing done right for one department the first time…and they love it.

          Now…I have to write the technical docs. Hahah.

        • #3099289

          Clear documentation

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to hahahaha

          listing clearly the features requested keeps “feature bloat” from the users changing their minds from being a short-coming on your part.

          NEVER confuse you not doing it “right” with them changing their minds! Don’t let THEM get confused about that point either.

        • #3099153

          thing is…

          by jck ·

          In reply to Clear documentation

          I’m senior programmer…not the supervisor/manager/director.

          I can’t say what I or other employees will do. My position is to give guidance and insight and write software according to “customer” designation.

          It is my supervisor’s job to manage the employees and decide what is allowed to be mandated of his employees in completing projects.

          My boss is pretty good about keeping too many changes out. But, he’s been convinced on occassion to allow mods…and…he’s been trumped by the Director to have it done by me.

          So…I’m in a no-win situation til I come on as the boss here…and introduce the “project sign-off”.

          That is the greatest thing ever. Put that puppy in the front of a design document…and when everyone signs off that the design meets their requirements, it takes an act of God to get a change put in…so long as not working it in doesn’t involve causing harm or the company downfall that is…hehehe :^O

          Oh well…hey…it ain’t easy being…the top computer geek in the house :^O

          I’m senior programmer…and MSSQL DBA…and in-house Windows Server admin…and document writer…and systems analyst…and chief software architect for Windows applications…and project manager over my projects.

          Christ…I should be making 6 figures. 🙁

        • #3099144

          Missed my point

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to thing is…

          Wasn’t saying you wouldn’t have to make the changes.

          Only said to make it clear that there is a big difference between it not being right, and the user changing their mind.

          Just clearly state, here is the function that was requested. If the incorrect funtion was requested or additional functions are needed we will make the changes from the original request.

          Point. They asked for something. You gave them that something. Make it clear that adding new features is asking for something new, that does not invalidate the first delivery based on them changing their minds.

          THEY changed the design, not YOU not making it “right”.

        • #3099130


          by jck ·

          In reply to Missed my point

          But you gotta understand…

          I discuss things with them…and they agree to them…verbally…it’s how they want it.

          When I come back later…there will be something else they want…but…the way they phrase it is “Well…that’s not exactly what I want.”

          I understand they are making the change…but…from hearing them…you’d never think that was the case. 😉

        • #3258972

          6 figures

          by holdupmaster ·

          In reply to thing is…

          6 figures… not likely mate.. unless your getting paid in Roupees!!

          Shame, know what you mean though.

        • #3272752

          I think we used to work at the same place.

          by ontheropes ·

          In reply to how not to work and get paid

          The raises and bonuses were good too. After all, you never messed up, right?

      • #3098211

        And the doc

        by nz_justice ·

        In reply to my favorite

        dosn’t ask to many questions when he gives you the certificate for that condition.

    • #3097142

      Added to my post

      by zlitocook ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      If you did not understand the first. I added a better discription and reasion for calling in to work.

      • #3099303

        No change in my response

        by jamesrl ·

        In reply to Added to my post

        You lied to your employer about why you didn’t come to work. I would still fire you.

        And by being away from work, you didn’t actually resolve your problem did you? I am sure the redhead was still there when you came back.

        Sit down with the redhead over coffee. Tell her thanks for all the attention but people are starting to talk. Tell her about places you and your wife go together – drop the huge hint that you are your wife are very happy. She will get the message.


        • #3099148

          that seems a bit harsh

          by jck ·

          In reply to No change in my response

          considering how much employers lie to or mislead their employees nowadays.

          And…can you truthfully say that you’ve [b]never[/b] lied to or misled any of your employers in the entirety of your work history, JamesRL?

          That’s why I stick with the “I got real bad diarrhea.” story when I need a “mental health” day.

          Like I said…no boss wants anal leakage happening in the office.

        • #3099121

          Three weeks?

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to that seems a bit harsh

          One of the acid tests is – what if everybody did it, would it be fair?

          If everyone took 3 weeks off and called in sick(in addition to vacation)….then we might as well close down the company.

          Actually in my company you need a doctors note after 3 days, so this wouldn’t happen unless you forged a doctors note.

          I’ve never lied. I have called in sick when I was marginally sick and just wanted to rest so I could get ahead of it – a preventive day if you will.

          And I don’t lie to my employers in general. Its not healthy. I find its better to get it out and take your lumps than to hide things or lie about things, and have it discovered later.

          I haven’t always volunteered every bit of information.

          You know one sick day, if you don’t repeat it, I will over look. But the original poster said three weeks – thats just not right.


        • #3099094

          would it be fair

          by jck ·

          In reply to Three weeks?

          for any employee to take sick leave at anytime?

          Sure, so long as they had sick leave to use…sure it is…that’s what sick leave is for.

          Plus, a company can’t prove someone isn’t sick or isn’t feeling pain…that is a doctor’s determination

          Where I work, it’s 2 days…then you need a note…this is where the doctor helps the corp. Of course, I know a bunch of docs I can get to write me a note. So, that’s not much help to the corp.

          Three weeks is a lot, I admit…no doubt about that.

          However in the case of the chick flashing skin and essentially harassing the guy and making unwanted advances…I’d think that more of an issue. She is the root cause of the problem that has arisen.

          Since he has to deal with constant “attention” from her and there is nothing a corporation can do about an employee being friendly to another one…even if it is constant and continuous. Friendliness can’t be made illegal.

          I see where you’re coming from…but to condemn the guy because he’s being harassed and getting unwanted attention that corporate policy can’t possibly stop…I’d rather try to help any employee…and quite probably, other employees who might have been, are being, and could be in the future, harassed by the same individual.

          Plus…you also have to consider…how approachable was his boss with this? Some bosses, even with current laws, would try and blow something like that away and say “she was just being friendly” or something.

          Of course as soon as I’d heard that they’d been in a wreck and were gonna be out 3 weeks…I’d make a visit to their house and take them something to eat or check up on them.

          If I caught em in the backyard playin with Fido…it would be time to have a “Come To Jesus” meeting with them. That’s for sure.

          But, I’d get their side of it first…before I considered termination. There might be a legitimate circumstance that needs evaluation before taking the extreme action of termination.

          Now…am I saying he did the right thing?

          Not in the least. He should have just avoided the woman…then when he was ordered to go over to her house and do the work, he should have been smart enoough and creative enough to take the spouse with him…the flirtatious woman would never be so brazen to make passes at him while the wife was with him.

          But, I wouldn’t go and just say that anytime an employee takes 3 weeks sick leave (which they have [i]earned[/i]) for a stupid reason…it does not warrant unconditional and immediate dismissal.

          We’re all human. That’s something to remember. We all make mistakes.

        • #3099065

          In most companies

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to would it be fair

          You get 3-5 sick days a year with no carry over.

          But it is to be used for real sickness – we can and will fire people who abuse that.

          If he is being harrassed, there is something the company can do. He should talk to HR. If he were female and the other party were male, would we be having this conversation – no, we would clearly say talk to HR.

          I need trust from my employees – I trust them and they trust me. If I can’t trust them to be honest with me, then I can find someone else. If HR came to me and asked me to give someone 3 weeks stress leave, I would not have an issue. But if my employee lies about three weeks – they had better have been in rehab – even then I would want a doctors note and would strongly have told them I need advance notice.

          We all make mistakes, but 3 weeks – thats not a mistake that is taking advantage of an employers trust.


        • #3098291

          revelations and notice

          by jck ·

          In reply to In most companies

          Dude…take it from someone who got a reality check in life and lost over 200 lbs.

          Sometimes you have problems you don’t want to admit or talk to anyone about…even to the people you love and trust most…including really good bosses. And then…it hits you in the arse and you have to deal with it. There’s no notice to give.

          Sometimes you have addictions that no one knows about but you until you go to rehab, so there is no advanced notice. My grandfather was a functional alcoholic who worked on the railroad out of Chicago with no one every knowing he drank like a fish when he got home.

          You can’t expect someone to just totally divulge any and all personal affects of their life to you and to the depth you desire simply because you’re their boss. That’s unrealistic. Real trust is earned…not demanded.

          And if the trust really swings both ways:

          If you end up finding a melonoma on your skin and it could possibly be malignant, are you going to give your employees as advanced notice as possible of the possiblity to need to take lots of leave for chemo and what not right away gather all your employees and tell them as such before you know?

          Or if it comes back malignant, are you going to tell your employees right away before you know that it requires laborious treatment or if you caught it early?

          The fact is, zlito hit a wall and made a very bad decision. That is quite obvious.

          However, he was not the root cause of his situation. And if you were his boss and to fire him, you still have a staffer in-house who might go on to harass more people.

          Getting rid of the lymph nodes because they are cancerous doesn’t get rid of the cancer.

          He wasn’t the cancer in this case…he was just affected by it.

          As for his gender…you are exactly right. Female-on-male harassment is much harder to prove and much less frowned upon even in the modern workplace because of stereotypical “gender roles”.

          And I don’t know what your corporate definition of “sexual harassment” or “harassment” is, but my employer defines offending conduct as such:

          [i]’…any form of harassment, discrimination or inappropriate verbal or physical conduct against another person which is based upon that person’s race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability or marital status.'[/i]

          Friendliness, which is all he would have been able to prove unless she’d made some unwarranted, provable action within the workplace, would have all she could have been found to have done.

          At least, not without him baiting her into doing or saying something on tape in the office. Then, she would have grounds to say that he was the instigator of the situation.

          Needless to say, you can’t expect everyone to place all unlimited faith and trust in you simply because of you being their boss.

          Some people just are not wired like that…and some people have a hard time trusting others…even their spouse…with personal “skeletons”.

          Anyways…I can tell that you fit the EA type at work and in fulfilling your role as a manager. And, that means you’ll never find plausibility in my statements.

          BTW…I got 96 hours of sick leave and 80 hours of paid vacation plus 12 paid holidays from day 1.

          Guess from your description of your corporate paid leave, it’s a good reason for me to stay in government and work up to that 5 weeks of paid vacation.

          That…or move to Europe where most employers don’t expect their people to be machines.

          Good luck with your management philosophy. I hope it serves you well.

        • #3098277

          Obvious bias

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to In most companies

          Its obvious that whatever a manager says they are out to screw you and that colours the way you intepret what I am saying.

          If someone has a crisis, all I need is a phone call. If you can’t make a call in the day, leave a message at midnight when I will not be there. But some information is required, you can’t just not show up. If you can’t face the boss on the phone, then have someone else call about the situation.

          Trust me I have worked with people with addictions and other issues. I’ve dealt with employees who were harassed and who have harassed.

          I don’t see eye to eye with you on the OP’s problem. If there is harassment, then deal with it – it festers if its left alone, so face it. Go to HR, if they do nothing about it will still feel better to get it off the chest and record it somewhere.

          Nowhere did Zlito say he had given this person any hint that the attention is unwanted.

          I didn’t form all these opinions as a manager, I was in the ranks for 12 years before assuming any management function.

          Like I tried to convey earlier, use the litmus test – if everyone did it, what would happen. If everyone took 3 weeks off and lied about it, its not hard to envision the department being closed, and all the staff including the manager being fired. You have to balance compassion on one hand with hte need to be fair with the other employees on the other.



        • #3098210

          3 to 5 sick days a year

          by mjwx ·

          In reply to In most companies

          where do you work? Nazi Germany. You get 10 sick days minimum in Australia by law.

        • #3098612

          being fair and balanced

          by jck ·

          In reply to In most companies

          If management policies are to be truly fair to all employees, then you can’t set a single rule by which to judge all employees’ situations.

          All circumstances are different. All people are different. All HR Departments are different. All managers are different.

          Each situation must be evaluated and be given due consideration to be totally fair.

          After all, you don’t know if zlito had been there 2 months…or 2 decades. Perhaps he had not built up a level of trust in his manager?

          But, to say a single rule fits every possible situation is, in my opinion, quite obtuse.

          Again, zlito might not have directly taken an aggressive approach to putting a stop to the situation.

          However if zlito goes up to a woman who has been “very friendly” to him and says…

          [i]’Hey…I’m really not interested in your amourous advances toward me.'[/i]

          that makes him vulnerable to a charge of sexual harassment himself. After all if you imply to someone that they are making sexual or amourous advances toward you and they want to get back at you for turning them down, she simply need to go HR and say…

          [i]’He said that I was making sexual advances toward him. I am offended and would never do that. I never act in an unprofessional manner.’ [/i]

          and his arse would end up being, in the corporate’s eyes, in the wrong when he really wasn’t.

          Plus if he goes to HR with [b]no[/b] proof whatsoever with an allegation…and somewhat revealing clothing such as loose blouses and slightly above the knee skirts would not be proof of sexual advancement…any HR department in a company would take no action other than maybe to speak to her manager and have him/her address the clothing issue…and at most might consider amending or modify their code of conduct concerning dress code to cover themself legally if they felt it was that much of a liability risk on their part.

          And with that said, you can’t possibly think that the feel good you should get from reporting harassment would end up a feel good if they deny your allegation…or even worse…turn the table on you.

          And, I see zlito’s case as one of those where he had no proof and a “Fatal Attraction” type woman who was going to extreme measures (including professional coercement) to get him in vulnerable situations.

          It’s not the reporting that gives relief…it’s solving the problem. Hence, that is why I suggested in my last post removing the “cancer” from the workplace rather than firing an employee for being too passive.

          And to let you know, I’m not green to the management arena either. After working 6 years professionally in programming IT, I moved up to a supervisory/management position and did budgeting, employee evaluations, staff meetings, technical analysis and implementation design, project estimations, etc. Plus, I also filled the roles of maintaining systems and software as well at the same time.

          So, I’m not just talking out of my arse either. I’ve been in the management arena. The only reason I didn’t stay where I was at because of where I was living, and because I was going to be sitting in the position I was in with no possibility of promotion until one of two people retired for me to move up. I was upwardly mobile and wanted more of a challenge than managing a $4M budget. So, I started over in Florida as a software engineer with a multi-billion dollar corporation to begin working my way up again. Of course, that flopped when they lied to me about “promoting from within” and “a very upwardly mobile work environment”.

          I worked over 2 years there…not once considered for promotion…only got cost-of-living increases and one salary adjustment which was corporate wide.

          Hence, I don’t promote being totally trusting of anyone in the workplace…or the workplace itself.

          Nonetheless, I don’t see drawing the hard-line being necessarily the best management technique.

          And, being fair to all employees doesn’t mean setting the same rule to them all. It means being [b]fair[/b] to each of them, and giving each of them equal consideration and understanding.

          Of course where I live, we have a larger embodiment which does this called the legal system. Everyone is given consideration under law, because their are extenuating circumstances.

          And, the workplace is no different. Extenuating circumstances exist [b]everywhere[/b].

          BTW, the everybody taking a 3-week unannounced leave…happens. It’s called a walk-out.

          I also do have to point out…you said:

          [b][i]”If someone has a crisis, all I need is a phone call. If you can’t make a call in the day, leave a message at midnight when I will not be there. But some information is required, you can’t just not show up. If you can’t face the boss on the phone, then have someone else call about the situation.”[/i][/b]

          zlito (or OP as you’ve called him) did say:

          [i]”…I called in and said I was a car accident and would be out for awhile.”[/i]

          So, he did make the call.

          Again, I won’t condone what he did. As I said, it was a very bad decision he made. However, I would not just say in a “cut and dry” manner ‘Oh he’s fired because he lied about the issues he’s having.’

          If I found out, I’d call him in and tell him I knew and ask him why he lied. If he told me about the situation with the woman, I’d then tell him ‘Listen…you should have come to me. I would have helped you. I’m not gonna bite your head off for you being a victim. OK? Now, let’s solve this thing so you can be you at work.’ and dealt with it from there and helped him pursue and investigate it myself and with HR.

          It might not be a manager’s job to do HR functions, but it is your job to work in your employees’ best interest…whether professional or personal.

          Now on the other hand if I found out he was in the Bahamas for 3 weeks, I’d have gathered proof and said ‘Listen…I know the truth. And, there was no underlying cause for you to take sick leave for an infirmity of any kind…mental or physical. I regret I have to do this, but I am going to have to notify HR of the situation and suggest dismissal.’

          As I understand, you take a much harder line to the management philosophy than I do and hold steadfastly to the written rule. And as I said before, I wish you all the luck in the world with it and hope that it works for you and your employer…and I mean that sincerely.

          Good luck.

        • #3099532

          not all are like you

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to In most companies

          hiya james..
          i agree with you in principle, but come on, have you never done anything that you now look back on and think “oops”. In the spirit of the thread, he told his excuse for not going to work. its done now, don’t be beating dead horses.

          i would never condone what he did. in fact in my last position i was supervisor, and one of the team was continually out for weeks on end with “back pain”. We knew she was not as bad off as she was saying, but she had Dr’s notes..what could we do. She would go on holidays believe it or not..but whatever. She cost me so many man hours it wasn’t funny.

          But on the flip side..we all need a day or 2 now and then to let our brains and bodies rest. I think especially in IT, non-it think cause your at a pc all day that its not brain in is a state of meltdown at the minute, and the only thing holding me together is coffee, and the fact that i am on 13 days holidays as of Feb 8 (heading to good ole saskatchewan to visit ma and pa).

          As well..i’ve worked for some right ****ing a****** in my time, and some employers literally deserve to have thier staff pull stuff like that.

          I fondly remember the time i was told to “get on with it” and lift that box (back in my pre IT days) and when i put my back out, i had to finish my shift. Then when i rang in the next day after the Dr told me i have actually tore a major muscle in my back they said i could take the day off. I said i had a not for the week and i was to not do anything physical..they rang me the next day and asked could i come in. when i said no i was told to “watch myself”. i quit in a month due to the attitude of my boss..

          thats why some people “pull sickies” and feel no quilt what so ever 🙂

          we all don’t have great bosses to work for.

          So..your place sounds pretty good, hiring?

        • #3099479

          Re: 3 – 5 days

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to In most companies

          In the US, most ppl get b/t 3 – 5 sick days…

          I know I get 5 that are accrued by hours worked throughout the year… (Meaning if I took all 5 days the first week of January, then quit the second week, I’m allowed to take them, but they’d actually dock me for those days as I hadn’t actually “accrued” them yet.)

        • #3098902

          Reasons Should not be Needed

          by emayfield ·

          In reply to In most companies

          I personally do not like having to give other people reasons for why I do something.

          I like PTO policies better than “Sick Days” because I prefer to just say “I will be taking the day off”. It matters not why, that choice belongs to me.

          The relationship between me and the employer is (or should be) mutual. I never view them as being above me to the point that I have to justify myself to them, and whenever I am in a so called “leadership” position, I view it more as matter of order that prestige. It is the leader that is the servant.

          As an employee I see my services as being of value to my employer. In a perfect world the value should be equal to my wages/benefits, and no one involved feels obligated beyond that balance.

        • #3258562

          re: 3 – 5 sick days

          by mjwx ·

          In reply to In most companies

          you are being shafted.

        • #3259409

          Re: Re: 3-5 days

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to In most companies

          Meh, 5 sick days and around 5 personal days makes up the difference for me. But honestly, I came in with very little to no RL experience and it is in exactly the location I wanted. I wasn’t about to say no! Lol.

        • #3259290

          Re: re: re: 3 – 5 sick days

          by jck ·

          In reply to In most companies

          if that’s all you guys get…you are getting screwed.

          I get:

          12 paid holidays
          10 days vacation (gets higher with more years…up to 25)
          12 days sick/personal leave

          But, I don’t abuse the sick leave. If I need it, I want to have it.

        • #3259219

          Leave in the UK

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to In most companies

          The company that I work for gives us 7 public holidays, 25 days vacation and your birthday off. Some of my colleagues have worked for them longer and have up to 32 days leave. Probably why US productivity is better.

          In 2004 I was quite ill and off for 5 weeks and then worked short hours for another couple of weeks. I got full pay throughout that time and still had my vacation later in the year. Didn’t get any overtime pay, though.

        • #3259156


          by noyoki ·

          In reply to In most companies

          As IT Department (yes, department, as I’m all there is… Lol) I get the same as the Paralegals and experienced secretaries.
          – 15 days vacation (1st-4th years with a day added on in the the 5th-9th years… No idea what happens if you are employed after 10 years… I guess they either kick you out or make the attorneys partners… but I doubt I’d be made a partner at a LAW firm! Lol),
          – 4 sick days (whoops, I thought it was 5… Thanks for prodding me to look this stuff up! Lol)
          – *1* personal day …wow, I thought it was more than that.

          So 20 days total… You guys got it good!!!!

        • #3257719

          wow..i’ve got it good !

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to In most companies

          25 days of PAID holidays

          3 “agency days” where its not really a public holiday, but the office closes anyways (good friday, boxing day and day after boxing day)

          5 or 6 PAID public holidays

          5 “uncertified” PAID sick days (if your out for more than 2 days in a row you need a Dr’s note)
          If you are out sick more than 5 days in a row, you get the Dr to fill in a form, bring it to HR and they pay you your full wages and the government reimburses them for it.
          For canadians, kind of like claiming for time off sick from unemployement..but no hassle and the boss does it for you.

          hey jck..if ya move over to ireland you’ll get paddy’s day off 🙂

        • #3257685

          oooohhhh you poor people

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to In most companies

          I almost would have said: come and work in the NL.

          Depending on CAO (Central Labor Agreement) of the branch y’re working in, or company y’re working for.
          Day’s of from the boss are on average:
          25 paid holiday’s (with aging as of 40 every
          5 years 1 day extra)
          all (max 5) Christian day’s (depending if there
          not on Sunday)
          1 queens day (if on working day)
          with a 37 hour labor week
          or the same + every month 2 day’s extra if a 40 hours labor week. 😀

          But then again there are around 450 ppl/km2, and this is water surface included(about 1/3rd of it).
          Only country’s like Singapore and Bangladesh are more crowded. So if you like it crowded, do come over. 🙂


        • #3257533

          Re: come over

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to In most companies

          Lol, if only I spoke Dutch!

          And I live in New York City… I’m used to crowded! LOL!

        • #3107233

          re: No Dutch

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to In most companies

          Then what is crowded.
          If measured by travelling ability’s New York is great to travel. How about taking your car and drive for 2 hours getting to…… 10 km further(btw this is highway route), which is quite normal over here. Or taking a train travel for 45 min. to get ….. 20 km further. But, 😀 lol, you learn to live by it.
          And ….. Dutch won’t be much of a problem, most everyone speaks and/or understands it, special IT-related people.


          is too short to not enjoy it

    • #3099311

      Being marries and fixing access points all day long!

      by roameri9 ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Mr. Zilto:
      Once married you how can you feel that any other
      ” she ” is a great looking. Few wives would accept that. Since your son is 30, I guess you are about fifty or more and a 30 year old redhead seems appropriate. But 130 pounds is a bit heavy, should be around 120 pounds. ( By the way you have heard of kg. )But for a ” a great looking 30 year old redhead ” to follow you crazily you must be one dashing male. This is really not an excuse for skipping work. Its an excuse to avoid a situation. I would say you would gave have been better off if you indicated to the ” great looking 30 year old redhead ” that you are queer.
      Just kidding.

      • #3098192

        Oh you must be

        by zlitocook ·

        In reply to Being marries and fixing access points all day long!

        A really cute guy! Haha I am the most nonqueer person you can meet, I respect a person’s life style if you like the same sex more power to you.But my wife hits me on the back of the head if I look at a women too long! And that happens alot;) But we married vary young, I was 18 and the old lady was 16. The son was born six months after;) I look 35 but I am 47 and seem to get along with every one. Which is one of my problems I help any one that needs it and it may look like I care more about the person I help. Dont get me wrong I like helping others but some of them can take it wrong! The lady I was talking about had major problems on her computer a laptop so I fixed the problems. But it was one she used at home so I made a CD that she could use on her home computers (not the company computers) that would remove and fix all the problems she had. No one else had ever done this. Oh my son is 29 and as dumb as a log, I look like alot of people some say they see me at places I have never been? Mabie I am a genitic experimemt that went wrong! The men in black will be out to get me! Run for your life! See you on the SI-FI channel:)

        • #3099466

          Your son.

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to Oh you must be

          > “Oh my son is 29 and as dumb as a log,”
          People that say that should be neutered. You may as well beat him physically if you think that of him, as it only will hurt him emotionally.

          > “Mabie I am a genitic experimemt that went wrong!”
          And you call your [b]*son*[/b] dumb.

          *steps off the soap box before she starts to rant*

        • #3098973

          Thank you , Tearsong6

          by old guy ·

          In reply to Your son.

          You are exactly on with your post.

    • #3099296

      old favs

      by jkaras ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Diarrhea is the best simple lie. No one will ask you to come in, you dont need a doctors note, and no one questions it.

      If a parent, kid sick or in trouble at school, no babysitter.

      Cat crawled into the hood of car and started it not knowing it was there. Needs cleaning. It’s gross but who suspects that lie?

      House flood due to a burst pipe or leaky toilet from the middle of the night.

      car broken into, needs new window. You dont need a police report nor show a receipt unless you used one too many times.

      A mental day off. Explain that you are facing massive depession due to marital or financial woes. Most employers wont bat an eye and stay away from any liability for the refusal.

      Insomnia. Nobody wishes that on anyone the trick is to set it up in conversations a day or two prior with bad sleep.

      the best is just claiming sick and paying the 10.00 copay at a doctor’s office and getting a dr’s note for an excused absence, it’s by far the best alibi and only wastes a little over an hour and you can parlay it into a day or two.

      Wardrobe malfunction. You can say that the dryer the night before didnt dry your clothes leaving you with nothing clean or appropriate to wear, calling a repairman and doing laundry at friends house to make it in tomorrow. You did your laundry before going to bed expecting it to be dry but the heating element obviously broke.

      There are so many to list, but you get the gist.

    • #3099091

      BTW, zlito

      by jck ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I’m in my 30s…and I have the perfect tool to fix her access point problems…. :^O

      tell her to drop me an email.

      • #3098289

        to be sick or not to be sick!!

        by neil_essex ·

        In reply to BTW, zlito

        I work for the local gov (hence me not doing very much workwise)..and when we want time off sick we can have it, there is no sick notes or questions when we get back to work. we have a very lenient time really. we work 27 hours a week (thats full time here)and only work 36 weeks a year but get paid for 52 weeks anyway, so anyone wanting to have time off un-nessessarily is really pushing it, i dont have time off unless i am dead. no point really with a holiday every 6-7 weeks anyway.

        • #3098281

          one of the reasons

          by jck ·

          In reply to to be sick or not to be sick!!

          I am looking at relocating out of the USA…most European countries have reasonable work schedules and expectations…

      • #3098149


        by roameri9 ·

        In reply to BTW, zlito

        jck activates his access point.
        The Redhead receives the signals at all her access points.
        zlito can keep his access point dedicated to his other half.
        (By the way zilto, does the Mrs. know about the Redhead?)
        Being Queer was just a suggestion.

    • #3098212

      Go to your doc

      by nz_justice ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      and tell him you got dyharia, common sysptom of a cold that you can have without the teprature and with out lookking sick then get your docs certificate, and you can take as muchtime of work as you like.

    • #3098086


      by ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      my gf/wife/etc is extremely frisky today

    • #3098541

      Death (My Own)

      by too old for it ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

    • #3098499

      My BEST excuse

      by maxwell edison ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      It’s a great day today, my son doesn’t have school, we’re not really that busy right now, so I’m going to take the day off and take my son to play a round of golf. Anybody want to join us?

      That’s the best one I’ve used — and yes, I have used it.

    • #3098433

      this is what i said today

      by ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      sorry cannot come into work i am busy posting excuses on why on an internet forum here is the URL boss http…..

    • #3097755

      Sick Call Excuse Generator

      by nz_justice ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

    • #3099514

      The voices in my head told me…

      by neilb@uk ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      to clean the guns today.

      to sharpen the knives today.

      to not go where I could get matches.

      today I must worship Anubis.

    • #3099429

      Good for you!

      by gsg ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Speaking as a female, I wouldn’t flame you! She is basically harrassing you. If a man did what she’s doing to a female co-worker, all heck would break loose and the excrement would hit the oscillating device. The only suggestion that I have is that you gently tell her that you are very happily married and while you are flattered by her attention, she should focus elsewhere. Then, I would explain, privately, to my manager that she seems to be fixated on you, and that you will not go to her house to fix anything. Back it up with the photos, flirting, etc… so that if your boss insists, you have grounds to refuse. Good luck.

      • #3259958

        are you HIGH???

        by rachel owlglass ·

        In reply to Good for you!

        what has she done? absolutely nothing – she’s professioanlly friendly, he’s struggling to look down her shirt, she might have very valid reasons to work with him all the time

        good god can men just STOP assuming that every woman that’s nice to them is hitting on them

        she’s probably married herself & just doesn’t talk about it at work

    • #3098906


      by fireit ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Tel her the trooth, then use the a-dish-un-nal time on ur hands too take sum more Inglish clasez so yuz can lern good grammEr an how two spellz….


    • #3098854

      You could always…

      by claude_grover ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      You could always take your wife with you when you
      go to her house to fix her access point. I
      explain to my wife that I don’t trust the woman
      that I am going to go fix her access point and my
      wife travels with me and keeps me company in the
      house also. That way, I spend some “working time”
      with my wife and she learns a little more about
      computering when she goes with me.

      • #3098781

        Company policy

        by donford749 ·

        In reply to You could always…

        Actually, company policy (I seem to be stuck on policy today) should be designed to protect employees from this sort of situation. Policy should say that two people have to go on any in home visits. Even if there is no policy, I would simply tell my boss that it puts me in a bad situation to be alone with someone at their house. I would say the same thing even if it was woman who had expressed no interest in me at all.

        • #3259795

          what the

          by tech ·

          In reply to Company policy

          good god people – are you crazy? The woman wants some help with her access point. Only in IT would that be interpreted as “hey I want you to come shag me”. Sheesh.

          And if it does mean that – what the HELL would you take your wife with you for? Unless she’s into it too. LOL

          I mean really.

          My wife is a nurse. Just cos she may see some dude naked during the day doesnt mean I want to hang around her to keep an eye on her.

          Either you can trust yourself not to boff the woman, or you can’t. If you feel the need to take the wife, then obviously you don’t feel you can be trusted. And your wife will pick up on that. Sure as eggs!

        • #3259664


          by donford749 ·

          In reply to what the

          I suspect that your wife’s employer has very strong policies protecting her. There is a difference between a clinic environment (or business) and a home environment.

          By the way, I would not take my wife and my concern is less about temptation for me than it is about false accusation. However, I would rather avoid the temptation as well.

          A friend, who was a visiting nurse, had very firm protocols she had to follow with every home visit. They involved a cellphone clock in and clock out and detailed log of activity while in the home. This protected her and her clients.

        • #3259570

          Litigation land, right

          by tech ·

          In reply to Policies

          I keep forgetting the majority of you are in the land of litigation lunacy where virtually nobody can be relied upon to not launch some whacko lawsuit against you for any daft old reason. The term “cellphone” is a giveaway. 🙂

          Just checked with her – there’s nothing even remotely like that required. Guess people are simply trusted to act as responsible adults. Which is how it should be. And which is how I would expect people to behave in regards to sick leave.

        • #3259955

          THANK YOU

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to what the

          a sane man who has grown past his adolescence

          i could kiss you

          and i mean that in a professional non-sexual way


    • #3098720

      not really

      by simplyshaman ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I think that most of the women on here would understand that you called in to protect your marriage from you having a lapse of judgement, perhaps even applaud it.

      Now, I’ve never gone and said anything like I was in a car accident, to get out of work. But, I have pretended I knew people well enough to attend their funeral to get a day off of work, or to get out of class early. The trick to it is you actually have to show up to the funeral (provided it’s in town) so that in case your employer knew the person as well.. you don’t get caught in a lie.

      • #3259930

        hmm…work vs. attending funeral to get out of work

        by itmomma ·

        In reply to not really

        If you’re pretending to be close enough to the deceased to get out of work, there lies a bigger problem.

    • #3098697

      What about vice-versa?

      by fcometa ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I confess I have never called in sick so as not to go to work. But being the (ex) workaholic I was, I frequently came up with excuses to be at work for unfinished business. For example, to finish setting up those VLANs and router that I wanted running on Monday. I’d tell my wife on Saturday that I’d be going for groceries, go finish up my networking stuff, and get the groceries on the way back. But that was then… I got my priorities straight, now! 😉

    • #3259720

      I Like redhead Too

      by wbarrett ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I think redheads have nice work enviroments too…I would break it just to fix it

    • #3259624

      a theory…

      by ptulskie ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Maybe she isn’t interested in you, but she thinks you are the best in your department and wants to use her body to get you to do things for her because she knows you will do them right. I’ve seen it at my workplace and I’d be suprised if this wasnt what is going down with you. I’m sure she sees your wedding band.

      • #3259953

        maybe she’s just trying to be F#$@ING nice

        by rachel owlglass ·

        In reply to a theory…

        let me tell you, it’s easier to just be a bitch

        • #3259814

          It also seems…

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to maybe she’s just trying to be F#$@ING nice

          That he is the only one in the office receiving her “attentions”? See my other post for more thoughts…

        • #3259808

          last i checked that’s NOT sexual harassment

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to It also seems…

          her attentions ONLY include asking him with some help at home on her work-at-home setup, asking the man to do his damned job & being nice to him

          last i checked, that’s NOT sexual harassment

        • #3258650

          Not his job

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to last i checked that’s NOT sexual harassment

          As I stated previously, that isn’t his job. That is boardering on a personal favor. He is well within his rights to say “I’m swamped, can Joe do it instead?”. Again, are her attentions focused SOLELY on him? Why would she not allow anyone else to do it? That doesn’t sound at all strange to you?

          Again, it is harrassment when the person feels the attention is annoying, embarrassing, or in any other way inappropriate. If a male from your office insisted on startling you by poking you from behind (in a completely platonic way!) would you not consider this harrassment? How about if it was female from your office? It makes no difference.

          I never used the term SEXUAL harrassment. However, I *DID* say it was harrassment none-the-less, and that the level of personal space varies from person to person.

          And my thoughts still stand. He should tell her to please stop. And she should respect that. Anything less would be grounds to talk to HR and have some rules set up.

          You said (paraphrasing) “what if she isn’t making sexual advances?”. Maybe not, but what if she is? Neither you, nor I have the right to make the assumption. And honestly, it is probably better dropped than as a heated debate over a topic where there are unknown facts.

          One thing is a constant though. One person may think it quite alright to pat a smaller person on the head. For some people, they find it offensive, not “cute”. So who is in the wrong here? The smaller person for finding it annoying? Or the taller person for doing it against their wishes?

          However, you cannot hold the taller person (or in this case, the woman) as being completely at fault if the smaller person (the poster) does not bring it to her attention that he finds it annoying.

          This isn’t black and white, no matter how much either side of this thread would like it to be. Maybe she is married. Maybe she’s not. Do you know for sure?

        • #3258571


          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Not his job

        • #3258527

          Read the original post

          by mjwx ·

          In reply to HIS BOSS SAYS IT IS, SO YES, IT IS

          Before you go and beat people willy-nilly with your feminist placard.

          He said that he was the only one receiving this kind of attention. Tell me, when you have your mind set to something do you stop until you get it? Maybe it?s not entirely his fault.

          But if you were interested in reason instead of putting people down you might have listened to tearsong.

          And finally if someone brings in a piece of personal equipment for me to fix I make sure they know it?s a favor and not part of my job. If they want me to go to there house I a) reserve the right to say no b) charge them for it (although it would be less because they are my workmates).

          Quiet often a workmate will get half a days work for a single carton of beer (I understand that you yanks prefer to call it a case of beer).

        • #3259414

          Again, ONLY him?

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to HIS BOSS SAYS IT IS, SO YES, IT IS

          And she insists he is the ONLY one she will have do this job… out of a 10 person team, I find it hard believe that he is the only one capable of doing it.

          A simple “I’ve got this deadline to meet, can Joe go instead?” or “I’m working on quite a few projects, is there someone else that could go in my place?” would suffice in my opinion. As an employee, that is a fair request on his part to make.

          And as a manager, (if I were his) even unassuming that anything is wrong, I should probably listen to him, and suggest to the woman that another tech would be happy to assist. However, zlito is too busy at the moment.

    • #3259578

      I have had similar situations and the best program to

      by tainian2000 ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      since I encounter situations of these their kind
      of encounter I would sugest to always remember these are the most excelent example of IT management in Visual Basic C+++ Positive language!

    • #3258956

      Duvet Days

      by binwah ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I know of a company which allows for “Duvet” days when an employee can call in and have the day off without having to justify why.

      Whilst this may sound like a great idea, it also means that they have a very hard work ethic and this offsets the duvet days.

      I have no idea of how this is implemented or what the consequences are but it just sounds a lot better that the usual excuses that most people make.

    • #3258937

      Tell them you are suffering from anal glaucoma.

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      You just can’t see your a$$ going into work today.

      [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

    • #3258891

      Why would you think that?

      by jessie ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Why would we IT geeky women want to flame a married man who didn’t want to fix the access points of a hot redhead? If anything, it’d be the immoral MALE geeks that would ask you WTF?! I’m a happily married geeky chickie myself and I’m not about to go to some GUY’S home and fix his access points without a chaperone.

      As for my best excuse for skipping work… mostly I don’t. I’m almost always out because one of the kids is sick or I’m taking vacation time. About as exciting as it gets around here is that I’ve been known to take an afternoon off to hang out with my hubby, all by ourselves.

    • #3258878

      Do you realize you’re being harassed???

      by chesswidow ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I know that you might think it sounds crazy but you should report this to HR because she is actually sexually harassing you — at the very least, creating a hostile work environment. Anything like this that makes you uncomfortable should be dealt with. Please note that I would not confront her directly because she might just turn the tables on you and say it was you making the advances towards her.
      JMHO…probably came to mind from 5 years supporting an HR Call Center — they made all of us take the same training as the management in the company I worked for.
      Good luck!

      • #3260044

        Was wondering when this would be brought up

        by corder ·

        In reply to Do you realize you’re being harassed???

        If a male co-worker in my office treated me as you have claimed you were treated to the point that I felt I needed to call in sick, I would condsider it harassment. I have gone to my bosses’ and many of my male co-workers house since joining my company specifically to work on their wireless network which allows them to work from home when needed and I always insist that their wives or another female (yes, I am) be present.

      • #3259952


        by rachel owlglass ·

        In reply to Do you realize you’re being harassed???

        but you’re an idiot to assume

        what is she doing? has she asked you out & you’ve said no?

        has she said anything lewd to you???

        NO – the ONLY thing she has done is to F#$@ing ask you to DO YOUR F@$%ing job!

        get the F@#$ over yourself – i bet it hasn’t even occured to her that you think she’s hitting on you

        • #3259815


          by noyoki ·


          “She then asked me to come to her house and look at her wireless setup. I told her that I do not do home repairs, she then convenced my boss that she works from home sometimes and needed her access point checked out. And I was the only one she wanted to do that.”

          Actually, that doesn’t seem to be in his job specs. Also, if he was that uncomfortable with the prospect, there appears (from the above statement) to be others that can do the job just as well.

          If the poster were female and the aggressor male, would the response be the same? That they should “get over themselves”?

          Invasion of privacy is a very tricky thing. What could be perfectly reasonable to one person, is incredibly invasive to another. Regardless of what she thinks about her actions or not, she should be made aware that she is making the poster uncomfortable. And if she has any respect at all, the actions, whatever they may be, should stop.

        • #3259804

          hmmm – the manager seems to think …

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Actually…

          1. “she then convinced my boss that she works from home”

          sounds like she’s technically challanged & has a valid claim – unless the boss is an absolute IDIOT, i doubt they’d authorize an at-home check unless it was warranted – at that point it IS part of zero’s job

          “others that can do the job just as well”

          2. technically, maybe, but there are many times when many of us seek out a specific person because they are more technically competent

          3. If the poster were female and the aggressor male, would the response be the same? That they should “get over themselves”?

          yes, because she DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG – SEE ABOVE!!!

          4. if we women reported every time a man made us feel uncomfortable without actually doing anything wrong, whole IT shops would be shut down

          talk about a double standard – men don’t get slaps for making women uncomfortable – only when they actually DO SOMETHING WRONG

        • #3258646

          Double standard

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to hmmm – the manager seems to think …

          > men don’t get slaps for making women uncomfortable – only when they actually DO SOMETHING WRONG

          On a technicality, that’s incorrect. You have heard of (I’m assuming) battered womans’ shelters… But how many times have you heard of a battered MENS’ shelter? Do men never get beaten? Women never harm their husbends/boyfriends ever?

          Trust me, it happens more often than you think. Where does THAT double standard favor? Are men who endure physical/mental abuse at the hands or mouth of a women less in need of help? Simply because they are men?

          > “if we women reported every time a man made us feel uncomfortable without actually doing anything wrong, whole IT shops would be shut down”

          If a women reports harrassment from a man, it gets dealt with. And generally, the man is at fault. Period. So when a man claims harrassment from a woman, people claim he is either “provoking it” or “imagining things”. Sorry, but you cannot know which is true any more than anyone else on this thread can.

        • #3259812

          Who said sexual harassment?

          by corder ·


          We were speaking of a hostile work environment that caused the poster to avoid work, not necessarily sexual harassment. Wow!

        • #3258764

          uh, i don’t know – half the threads!

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Who said sexual harassment?


          yes, many many of these threads mention sexual harassment

          btw, that IS a hostile environment

        • #3258655

          Hum if one is part of a ten person team

          by zlitocook ·


          And the only person that the other person will use is my person, that looks bad for the team which has four females on it. She has never done her job from home until she desided to tell a persons boss about it. I checked and to do her job she would need Vpn access and a secure login which she still dose not have.
          Are we a little mad at the male persons you work with or have worked with? Just wondering.
          I am not that good looking or that much fun to be around unless you like a person who finds fun in fixing computers, robots or any thing electronic. I also go camping and fishing, but I enjoy my family more so I do not see why you are getting so out of joint?

        • #3258652

          um, you are accusing a woman of …

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Hum if one is part of a ten person team

          sexual harassment w/o proof

          to your

          “Are we a little mad…”

          uh, i don’t know – i’m not, but perhaps mr royal person you are

          “are we” – sheesh! – the way to phrase the question is “are you?” – presumably you know what you think, but maybe not

          you checked – with whom? generally information about someone’s vpn & secure login status is pretty private information – not just given out

          so either you have a LOT of work priviledges (which would explain why she asked you in the first place) or you are full of shite!

          now if you say you got the information from her … why didn’t you help her set that up? sounds like your BOSS has deemed that that IS part of YOUR JOB

        • #3258644

          Are you…

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to um, you are accusing a woman of …

          accusing him of lieing “without proof”? Lol, that statement can go both ways. Until you know both people, honestly, I don’t see how anyone can know who is in the wrong here.

          Is he just over-sensitive (which is fine, but he needs to tell her what she is doing wrong), or is she “making passes”?

          And either way, that’s not even a main point. The point being, he feels threatened by her. Hell, see below on the illegality of annoying someone. Lol.

          Without knowing and being around the person, how can you say who is and isn’t harrassing? Perhaps your boss was looking at something else and you are paranoid that he was looking at your breasts?

          I’m not saying he was or he wasn’t. I wasn’t there.

        • #3258564

          god you’re an idiot – know the stats, use spell check

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Are you…

          it’s spelled l-y-i-n-g

          i’m going on HIS statements, which are all we have

          and, uh, i think when someone is 12 inches away from you it’s pretty obvious where they’re looking on your body

          bottom line – independent workplace studies in the 90s & later have shown that men report about 95% of harassment, women about 45% – even with this women report 79% of harassment claims

          another study – the haines ginsberg study out of haas – showed that 89% of claims by women show some substantiation of claims even if there is not enough evidence to prosecute

          same study – only 53% of claims by men show some substantiation

          the reality – women sexually harassing men

          with that i’m signing off – you’re thick-headed

        • #3258520

          Do the world a favor DON?T PROCREATE

          by mjwx ·

          In reply to god you’re an idiot – know the stats, use spell check

          Zlito came to us (his peers in his chosen field) to get help for a problem that is troubling him. Weather or not this is sexual harassment or not doesn?t matter, he views this as a problem. Judging by his posts he is being singled out. All you can seem to do is bash him for and for what.

          It seems to me (judging by your posts) that you would view zlito (and probably myself also) as misogynists. You are clearly a judgmental and opinionated person. But before you flame me I would say if you are going to judge your peers be prepared to be judged yourself.

          So please give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt. I?m willing to bet that zlito wants to resolve this with a minimum of disruption (I.E. he doesn?t want to go through any official proceedings) that?s why he?s seeking help here. I can?t tell him what to do as I have never been in the same situation but your not being very constructive either.

        • #3259428

          What spell check? & IT WAS ONE WORD!

          by noyoki ·

          In reply to god you’re an idiot – know the stats, use spell check

          Has TR added some special feature I was unaware of? Lol.

          I apologize profusely for the misspelling of ONE MEASLY word! Lol. If my post were riddled with typos and misspellings, I’d grant you that statement.

          How many men that are harrassed ACTUALLY report it is my question? Are you saying it NEVER happens? Ever? Not even a little bit?

          I find that hard to believe. I find it easier to believe they would be afraid that the woman they are reporting would turn around and say he instigated it and *HE* would be fired!

          You have this absurd notion that all men are perverts. I am sorry you feel this way, but should you ever turn down a nice, decent guy, just for being a guy, send him my way!

          You know factual numbers. That’s it. You do not know the situation, nor the people in it. You also do not seem to be able to see any other side of any other coin. Not all bosses are a-holes, and I’m sorry yours was.

          But really. Thats like saying all black people are gangsters. Or all Gay men are “flaming”. There is no “all” of “anything”. I wish I knew how to explain that to you. There is *at least* one exception to every single rule.

          Perhaps the poster is the exception to this rule.

    • #3258838


      by senior program analyst ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I dont often have a chance to play hooky, If I take off It tripples my work load (work extra before to stay current (maybe a little ahead) and then play catch up with I get back. So I just dont do it much. However, there have been times I like to take the afternoon. When I want to do that I usually can make something work related. I need to go and talk to someone about this project to get some ideas, Or Im going to run by the stores and look at the equipment/priceing for a bit. Of course its a five minute visit and then Im free the rest of the day.
      Also When I do skip the entire day (have to get car worked on or some other items taken care of that can only be done during a weekday, I never take the day before or after the weekend, holiday, or vacation. Everyone looks at those suspicious anyway.

    • #3260147

      Something wrong with my eyes

      by dryflies ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I can’t see going to work today. 🙂
      Sometimes I just call in and take a mental health day.

    • #3260015

      One word-liability

      by attackcomputerwhiz ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I used to get a lot of those “go to the house requests, usually expected on my own time. I always declined, because I will not fix people’s personal equipment, whether they “use it for work” or not unless they bring it into my office. That way, it becomes part of my official work and if (worst case) something goes horribly wrong, it is on my agency and not me personally to make it good.

      It would have been so much easier to tell your boss that you don’t want to open the company or yourself up for damages outside of the workplace and that you would prefer all work on personal PCs used for telecommuting be done on company property.

      Three weeks is a lot of time to hide, but you *could* justify it by claiming mental stress. You could have taken a day or two to examine your choices, talk it over with the wife and maybe come up with a plan. Since you took all that time, I hope that you used it to look for another job because this might come back and bite you (someone from your office saw you driving the day after the alleged accident, no proof of any injuries that might have kept you home even with a wrecked car since you probably have two cars and so on…).

    • #3259992

      Sick time off? Excuses? Who does that? ;-)

      by navtec ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      This is a great discussion, I’m dyin’ out here ROFLMAO! The creative/survival instincts displayed here are amazing. I gotta admit, I obviously have no creative/survival instincts ‘cuz I have never done any of this. Whether working Mainframes, Mini’s, Novell or NT Networks the only “creative” call-in after working 30-50-70 hours straight has been “…excuse me but I won’t be coming in today, tomorrow and probably the next day… no, if you think you need help, call your mother, I’m turning off my phones…so fire me…”. In my experience, to butcher Jesse Ventura’s line from Predator – “I ain’t got time to be sick…but I may take time to catch up on some sleep”.

    • #3259969

      flame number 1

      by rachel owlglass ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      you know, men @ work tend to jump to conclusions a hell of a lot more than women do

      women TRULY get sexually harassed at work, take it in stride & only report it when it’s a really big deal

      men frequently IMAGINE interest from women at work

      i’m not saying she wasn’t interested in you – perhaps she is, but your vignette neither rings true nor proves that she is sexually harassing you

      i think it’s the (& i quote spelling mistake)

      “vary nice blouses that would open too far”

      that gives it away

      get over yourself – she sounds beautiful, smart, justified in getting help with her at-home wireless hub

      lose the braggadocio – do your f@#%ing job

      • #3259959

        Male or female, the answer is the same

        by jamesrl ·

        In reply to flame number 1

        If you feel harassed, and you are being asked to do things outside the scope of your job, talk to HR.

        And you know, a mental health day here and there isn’t going to kill anyone, but the OP stated three weeks. I wonder what his co-workers would think, knowing that they did extra work to cover. Does anyone think this was fair to them?


        • #3259943

          if vague FEELINGS applied …

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Male or female, the answer is the same

          then 95% of the women in IT would file sexual harassment charges

          she can’t help the way he feels & she hasn’t done ANYTHING wrong

          zero, SUBSTANTIATE your stupid claim

          on a side note, i worked an an office where someone wrote a lewd limerick in the back stairs – it had my name on it, a drawing of part of my anatomy & stated a desire to have sexual contact with me there

          guess what? i couldn’t do anything about it because (1) it was anonymous which meant that (2) the legal proof of originator was on me & (3) i am in CA where i could have been let go immediately so i could find no evidence

          i’ve also had a boss who would BLATANTLY REPEATEDLY stare at my nipples, look me in the eye & do it again any time i had a meeting with him

          i’ll make a deal with you – if ms home access EVER does ANYTHING even REMOTELY so specific to you, then bitch away

          until then – your claims are insubstantial – shut up & go wait in line for the women’s restroom

        • #3259831

          As you replied to me and not the original poster….

          by jamesrl ·

          In reply to if vague FEELINGS applied …

          I made no mention of the validity of the claim. I simply stated that if you think you are being harrassed, go to HR. They will ask the right questions and tell you the policies, and if they determine you are being harassed, then they will act(to cover their butt and protect the company). If they determine you aren’t being harrassed, no harm no foul.

          I agree with your suspicions. The OP didn’t state that he had any conversation with the woman to determine one way or another her intentions. Is he psychic?


        • #3258761

          you are quite w/o blame but the thread is annoying

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to As you replied to me and not the original poster….

          you are correct – you made a neutral & articulate statement of what zero should do


          i suspect that zero is not psychic but full of himself unnecessarily

          this thread is SO ANNOYING that i can’t contain MY CAPS LOCK!!!

          but you are sane, articulate, intelligent & precise


    • #3259957

      “Anal glaucoma”

      by dc guy ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      If anybody asks, it means, “I just can’t see my butt coming in to work today.”

    • #3259879

      Access point – LOL!

      by starderup ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I have heard it called a lot of different things, but this one is a first.

    • #3258745

      good grief

      by jtavolaro ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      dude, obviously your company doesn’t have a sexual harrassment policy?

      • #3258729

        i think *she* should file a harassment claim

        by rachel owlglass ·

        In reply to good grief

        after all, all she’s done from zero’s email is ask for professional help & be nice to the guy

        it’s a hostile environment when someone constantly makes assumptions about you & jokes like “i would but i’m married”

        • #3258690

          Wake up and smell the roses.

          by merlin the wiz ·

          In reply to i think *she* should file a harassment claim

          If you are as married as you want us to think, do the obvious. Take your wife with you. This will
          1. Get her out of the house for something other than a shopping trip or dinner.
          2. Let her see you in action, actually doing something that is of benefit to someone else.
          3. Firmly establish in everyones mind that you are happily married.

        • #3258651

          are you talkin’ to me? ’cause i’m the last thread standing here …

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Wake up and smell the roses.

          are you talking to me or zero?

          presumably you’re talking to him

        • #3258639

          Grin my wife gets out alot more then I do

          by zlitocook ·

          In reply to Wake up and smell the roses.

          She has masters from Webster University in computer programming and artificial intelligence. She now works for Laurell Hamilton as her program director. She fly?s to every country that her boss dose and see’s people that we read about in the papers. I wish she would get me out of the house! We spend alot of time at home just getting uh back together and enjoying each other.
          And I have fun when she is not around getting others to look at them selfs and see what they could be! 😉 I some times post things to get others interested and look at others.
          So sue me! You guys for the most part are great and I would love to meet most of you, I like Techrepublic and most of the folks from here.
          All that I post is true but some times I add a bit because it gets slow, the redhead I am posting about is true and she said that she dose not care if I am married we three can get along! Wow a great guy dream, but I left that contract and now am with Microsoft.

        • #3258567

          since women hardly ever suggest threesomes i know you’re full o shite

          by rachel owlglass ·

          In reply to Grin my wife gets out alot more then I do

          okay bobby – step out of the shower & wake up from your dream

          click your heels together 3 times now – that’s a good boy

        • #3259436


          by noyoki ·

          In reply to since women hardly ever suggest threesomes i know you’re full o shite

          By your own admission:
          “since women [b]hardly ever[/b]…”

          Since “hardly ever” != “never”, I suggest you entertain the possibility that it [b]could[/b] happen.

    • #3259311

      The Voices In My Head

      by mindtickler ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I always liked telling the boss that the voices in my head were telling me to stay home and clean the guns today. 🙂

      • #3257856

        Really my voices

        by zlitocook ·

        In reply to The Voices In My Head

        Tell me to access user info and find them at home so I can use my dental instruments on them. But the voices come from Microsoft and Bill Gates is the voice.
        Fear Bill he is a stupid god and his patches will get you! I tell this to little children and they hide every time it is patch Tuesday because they do not want the night guy to get them.

    • #3257756


      by pradeeshvk_tly ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Why i am not getting a chance as am working the same there any shortcut way to intract such …………waiting for u r advice.

    • #3257519

      as a supervisor…

      by husp1 ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      For a printing company back in the 80’s I heard about all the weak excuses that could ever be uttered but this one really got me.
      ” I can’t come in today because my car is biodegrading” He got my vote!!

    • #3107757

      A good excuse

      by yaminom ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      I’ve never actually tried this, but I’ve often thought of just calling in
      silly. I’d call the boss and say, “I’m too silly to come in today.
      Couldn’t possibly take that circus you call a business seriously.”

      I haven’t tried it because that may be more of a resignation speech
      than an excuse for not coming in.

    • #3107657

      I’ve got a 5 year old kid…

      by narg ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      …And with her, I usually don’t need to find a reason, as she can give me one very quickly. Her problems can really add up fast.

    • #3107602

      Reply To: What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      by longwalls ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      well mate arent you just a champion, having the control to not bang away on the office tart.

    • #3101079

      Mental Illness

      by m_johnson ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Whenever I need a day to regain my sanity I just call and say I won’t be coming in. Happens rarely, but works for me.

      • #3100931

        selfish ….

        by moira ·

        In reply to Mental Illness

        If I did that I’d be loading my already overworked colleagues with even more to do – I’m not that selfish.

        • #3272891

          nothing wrong with a day off once in a while

          by m_johnson ·

          In reply to selfish ….

          I usually schedule my mental illness days in advance. My last unexpected day off was over a year ago. As for overworked – that’s why the mental illness day in the first place. It’s earned.

        • #3272879

          Lose pay then …

          by moira ·

          In reply to nothing wrong with a day off once in a while

          I wonder how many people would decide these spurious days off were necessary if they lost pay for being off sick …..

    • #3272770


      by ontheropes ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      You’re supposed to call in? THAT would explain a lot.

      Seriously though, I had been on my new Fortune 500 Corporate Engineering job with no real duties for about 3 weeks when I got a call from our Tupelo plant where they could use my help. I scheduled myself onto the Corporate jet and stayed down there for 3 days. Nobody at Corporate had missed me or ever questioned my expense account.

      Think of the possibilities. 37 huge plants spread all over the US, absentee boss… Best job I never had for 6 1/2 years. Oh HOW can I sleep at night?

    • #3272768

      I’m more productive at home

      by absolutely ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      contemplating my belly button.

      • #3089823

        Choose your friends.

        by john ·

        In reply to I’m more productive at home

        “I don’t know of anyone who did not use a false excuse at least once to skip work for at least a few hours.”
        I knew plenty when i was working. I never met anyone in the teching profession who lied about reasons for time off.

    • #3090352

      watch out

      by ericl_w199 ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      my friend worked for a cell phone day he called in sick and his boss looked up what cell phone tower the call came from.which was in another state.well the next day he wasnt working their

      • #3090335


        by noyoki ·

        In reply to watch out

        Oi! Was he chronically “ill”? Or just that once?

    • #3086592

      Check this management response

      by ozi eagle ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      SICK DAYS:
      We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

      Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

      Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

      All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

      This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

      This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

      Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with ‘B’ will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you’re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees’ supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

      Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.

      It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

      Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

      — Management

      • #3086526

        Isn’t that just so true!

        by moira ·

        In reply to Check this management response

        Exaggerated maybe, but there’s a more than a grain of truth in it 🙂 at least where I work!

    • #3143278

      If you constantly skip work..

      by ssmaguire ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      then you need to find a new job. Simple as that, why deny reality.

    • #3145024

      Sinus trouble.

      by mjd420nova ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      Having spent much of my younger years playing ice hockey (numerous scars on nose, cheeks and around eyebrows) I can use this as a good excuse, as quite often it is real. After breaking my nose 11 times, I have only 30% sinus. Anything will make me sneeze, and often leads to nose bleeds that are painful and abundant quantities of blood. It has happened at work, many have seen it, so it works as a good excuse.

    • #3319611

      We screwed the same girl

      by mediastereotype ·

      In reply to What is your best excuse for skipping work?

      2 of my co-workers wanted to leave at noon so they told my boss that they screwed the same girl the week-end before and that they BOTH had to go get a VD test cuz they were both showing ‘symptoms’. They were given religious counselling by my boss, and then were allowed to leave at noon.
      They enjoyed cold beers while watching strippers for the rest of the day!

Viewing 57 reply threads