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It didn't serve any purpose to tell anyone else, so I haven't.

I don't like to talk badly about the dead, even if I didn't like them when they were alive.

I had the duty of conducting a church choir. Some of my choristers were older, somewhat set in their ways and cranky at the best of times.

I had great relations with the priest (anglican) and the deaconate. Some of the older parishoners had an issue with me being paid to conduct. Thats fine, but they continued to bring it up in church meetings ina very nasty way. So I wasn't entirely happy with the situtation to start with.

But one chorister, like many of the women in the choir, came from the caribean and was set in her ways. She was always complaining about her hip, the choice of music etc. But she had a good voice, so I put up with it.

One day at as we were preparing for service, she was particulary grumpy and she couldn't find the piece we were performing, even though she had it for the provious rehersal. She accused me of not giving her the music on a consistent basis because she was an "old black woman".

I was upset. I walked out, robes and all... Days later when discussing it with the priest, who was very understanding, I didn't blame her for everything, but she was clearly the straw that broke the camel's back.

Couple of years later, I received word that she died. I was asked to join the choir for her funeral. Because I needed to scan the music and get robed up, I arrived early. I was dragooned into carrying the coffin into the church.

Through the service, I gained a little perspective. She had a hard life, helped a lot of people, and perhaps even earned the right to be curmudgeonly. I didn't "forvgive" the action she took, but I did forgive the woman herself. Hate the sin, love the sinner. I was glad I got the opportunity.

James

They were just looking for records that they might need to give the next person that does that job.

He was also in charge of keeping track of maintance records, as certain industrial equipment needs to be inspected daily.

His direct supervisor has already been "removed", but not for theft, and no talk of legal action.

This is a small family business, and I gave them what they requested. The computer is sitting in a corner, untouched. The only thing I did was open exploiter and look at the history file, which is dated. No, I did not check out any of the sites!

Did I mention many DATING sites as well?

For the future though, I believe you are correct, and I should learn the proper process. I am not a security tech, I just play one in real life. ;\ I'm a network guy/server!

Here is my perspective.

As long as the companies policies permit dating sites, then whether or not the user is married is not your concern. You can have your opinions, but you should separate that from your professional duties. My thought is that dating sites (not allowed on my net, but on others I am sure its ok) are different (unless they show adult content) than porn, which has problems from a hostile work environment perspective even if there isn't an explicit policy.

And to boot, porn sites are a great way to accumulate tracking cookies (spammers) and viruses.

I worked at one place where the CIO tried to date an employee - not a direct report, but someone at a mid level management level who reported to one of his reports. He was married, she was not. He crossed the line when he pressed the issue. One should not feel pressure, and when one is told that they feel pressure the instagator should back right off. I may not like the fact he was married - and I know the family. But it isn't my business to judge, until it negatively impacts the job.

He ended up breaking up his marriage and moving in with yet another employee who was a single mother. Again, I find it distasteful to leave a marriage to move in with an employee, and I can't help speculate what may have occured before he moved out, but from a how do I deal with him professionally perspective, I had to try not to let it colour my professional working relationship.

Now a suspicion of theft? Lock that sucker down and be very careful.

James

and only was touched to look, and at the direct request of the top of the food chain.

It is now unplugged, and in the corner (behind other systems) in my office which is locked when I am not here.

That system will just sit, even though there isn't any data on it. Will be interesting if they find his floppy disks though.