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Which Office Moron are you?

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22 replies

by jaqui

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http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/officemoron/

Me I got:

Which Office Moron Are You?

I'll smoke you a kipper, because you'll be back for breakfast. You're the cult television show quoting, user account deleting, soap loathing IT Manager.

Something in your childhood has made you the way you are. You've been hired to provide a service to everyone else in the office - you make the computers run, and you make them run well. You've streamlined everything; you've removed all the viruses and installed all the firewalls. The only trouble - the only hole in your veneer of digital perfection - is the way you laugh at everyone.

If someone doesn't know UNIX, you laugh at them. If they lose their password, they laugh at them. If they visit a website using Microsoft Internet Explorer and their computer succumbs to an Internet worm, you laugh. Then you take a swig of your Coke, and with another hearty chuckle tell all your friends on IRC about the idiots you have to deal with.

Maybe it makes you feel better about yourself, although let's face it, you don't need help in that department. You're great, you. Fantastic like burning cool. If only those luddite office fools would let you play Unreal Tournament in peace.

22 replies

by itgirli

this is crap! HAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Whaddup, lil Janitor. I see you have a chip on your shoulder the size of Montana.

It's not enough that you have to watch those overpaid idiots go about their inane business every day on twice your salary, as you relentlessly clean up after them. It's not enough that they refuse to say more than a quick "hi" to you day after day, and never invite you on the office outings or give you so much as a Christmas card. But the things they leave in the toilet, on their chairs, across their keyboards and clinging to the outsides of their wastebaskets like snot to a child ...

... it's enough to make you shudder with grief and fury.

And shudder with grief and fury you do, behind their backs, in corridors and broom closets. Some day, you'll get your own back. But you're not going to play their underhanded games; you're not going to stoop to their stuffy little level. You're going to take the moral upper hand and screw them over one day so bad that they won't know what hit them. And until then?

Until then you wait.

by jaqui

mine was only out on 2 points.
not coke, coffee!!!

and not unreal tournament.
I don't play games.

by jck

Holy crap...does this mean I need to go put tuna in my sneakers and walk around the office to get rid of the burning copier smell?

by jaqui

let the office toby do that.
you follow with a cat 'o nine tails to make sure he covers every inch of the place.

by jdclyde

I got the same results.

The Fools! I will destroy them ALL!

BWAAHAAAHAAAAAAHAAAHAAHAAAAAAAAAA!

by jaqui

don't give our plans away like that.
it's much easier to nail em if they aren't running for cover.

by jessie

Scary thought... maybe the three of us should start our own consulting company... nah... I don't think there's enough room in one company for all that superiority! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! ]:)

by jmgarvin

You've been here since the dawn of time itself, old timer, and you've been biding your time with your eye on the boss's job.

You deserved to have a promotion. You've been here longer than anyone else. Your fingers have become craggy, and you see Excel spreadsheets when you go to sleep at night. More than half your life has been spent at budget meetings, advertising liason sessions, team-building seminars and pub lunches with people you hate. Yet for some reason you've been passed over every time in favour of younger, less competent workers.

No more. You're at the end of your tether. Where's your gold watch? Where's your acknowledgement? Your raises? When does your time come around?

Your time is now, hombre.

by wayne m.

I'm frightened to admit it, but I got the same response and it is closer to truth than fiction!

by mjd420nova

I got out ten years ago.. When a real help desk really did help 'cause you had old farts to take the calls and ask all the right questions.

by gadgetgirl

there are now 4 of us!

Consultancy? Ok, but just remember one thing....

I'M IN CHARGE!!!

(about to swop supermarket suit for the designer one.....)

:D

GG

by jaqui

as I get to shoot people that want windows.
shoot them full of sulfuric acid [ 20 liters].. then if they survive full of liquid hydrogen.

someone else can throw the lit match after that.

by neil higgins

Liquid hydrogen.Takes me back to school days.We never did find Mr.Andrews after his science lab experiment went wrong.Must have been all that "acid" he was tripping. :)

by tben

You've been here since the dawn of time itself, old timer, and you've been biding your time with your eye on the boss's job.

You deserved to have a promotion. You've been here longer than anyone else. Your fingers have become craggy, and you see Excel spreadsheets when you go to sleep at night. More than half your life has been spent at budget meetings, advertising liason sessions, team-building seminars and pub lunches with people you hate. Yet for some reason you've been passed over every time in favour of younger, less competent workers.

No more. You're at the end of your tether. Where's your gold watch? Where's your acknowledgement? Your raises? When does your time come around?

Your time is now, hombre.

by jdgretz

Or have we spent too much time in the same gutters??

All hale the Awesomeness of the IT Manager.

Mwahahahahahahaha.

jdg

by ldyosng

Help, Mr Wizard - I don't want to be an IT Manager!

Drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drone. Time for this one to come home . . . .

by jck

I got: IT Manager

Dear God...ever felt like the adolescent Damien from The Omen...knowing something entirely evil lurked inside you and you had no way to avoid becoming it?

I fear the day I make decisions based on a bottom line.

Anyone want beer on tap in their office, yo? ]:)

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