CES 2017: The wildest, wackiest and weirdest tech
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Withings Kerastase Hair Coach
Withings Kerastase Hair Coach
Who really needs a smarter hairbrush? The Kerastase Hair Coach from Withings is interesting, but seems unnecessary. Anyone who blows out their hair already has a favorite hairbrush anyway.
Nod baby sleep coach
Nod, made by Mimo, is a baby sleep coach. Yes, really.
Willow hand free breast pump
Willow hand free breast pump
The Willow seems like a good idea – a hands-free breast pump that you slip inside a special bra – but it is advertised as discreet and it’s really anything but.
Avatarmind iPal
Definitely on the creepier side is this companion robot aimed at kids and seniors. It even laughs if you tickle it.
Yumii home care platform
Yumii home care platform
This was definitely the year of creepy robot companions at CES. No matter how cute, it’s a little weird when a robot comes up and starts talking to you and following you around.
Buddy companion robot
Again, creepy robot. They were everywhere at CES. Imagine waking up with this next to your bed, staring at you?
Happiest Baby Snoo
Ready to spend $1,150 to make your baby happy? That’s how much the Happiest Baby Snoo costs. But for that price it will rock your kid to sleep and adjust motors and white noise based on their behavior.
Elmoji junior coding robot
Elmo has gotten robotic with this new toy. Again, creepy, despite its good intentions to help kids learn coding.
Woobo social robot
Woobo is a social robot for kids and it’s a little scary and a little weird all at the same time.
Play-Doh Touch
Play-Doh Touch is pretty cool, but weird, too, in that you can bring to life onscreen all of the figures you make with Play-Doh.
Fiera remote control libido booster
Fiera remote control libido booster
While Fiera, from Nuelle, is on the unusual side, it is useful for women going through hormone fluctuations post-pregnancy or post-menopause. It’s a device that increases blood flow to the genitals in as little as five minutes to boost sexual arousal in women. It retails for $249 with a remote control, or $199 without.
FoldiMate laundry-folding
FoldiMate laundry-folding
The FoldiMate is only a prototype, but it’s expected to be ready for release in Q4 2017. It folds shirts so precise it looks as if they just came off the shelf at Banana Republic.
Smart pajamas from Under Armour
Smart pajamas from Under Armour
The official name is Athlete Recovery Sleepwear, but it’s really just smart pajamas. There is a hexagonal TB12 bioceramic infrared pattern on the inside of the pajamas. It claims to absorb infrared wavelengths and reduce inflammation while you sleep. Whatever happened to sleeping in your boyfriend’s T-shirt?
Wair connected scarf
Wair connected scarf
The Wair connected scarf is a piece of wearable tech that’s a bit quirky but serves a purpose. The scarf has a hidden air filter so when the built-in sensor alerts you that air pollution is high, you can cover your mouth and nose with the scarf and breathe through the filter.
Spartan radiation blocking underwear
Spartan radiation blocking underwear
Retailing for $35-$45 is Spartan underwear that blocks 99% of wireless radition to protect what matters most.
Icaros "flying" VR device
Icaros "flying" VR device
If your feet are on the ground when you’re wearing a VR headset, it’s just not the same experience as when you’re flying. Icaros offers a VR “flying” frame that gives a unique experience to the user. Even if you look weird doing it.
Moona smart pillow temperature monitor
Moona smart pillow temperature monitor
Does your pillow get too hot at night? Well, now the problem is solved. Moona has a sensor that goes under your pillow to adjust the temperature if it gets too hot. Definitely a first world problem.
Vagenie
This one is fun just because of it’s name. How often do you get to say “Vagenie” in a day? Although still in prototype mode, the Vagenie is a connected Kegel trainer to strengthen the pelvic floor.
Batband wireless ear-free headphones
Batband wireless ear-free headphones
The Batband wireless, ear-free headphones. Don’t. Just don’t.
Hypoallergenic Air device
Hypoallergenic Air device
Tech has definitely gone to far when it embeds itself into the kitschy clocks of the 1970’s, as with this Hypoallergenic Air device.
Parihug hugs
Want to share a hug? Here’s how this works. You and your friend buy a set of Parihugs. You hug your stuffed creature, and your friend, no matter where they are, hugs theirs and feels the same intensity and length of the hug you gave your Parihug. Confused as to why anyone would do this? Exactly.
E-skin
E-skin looks like an evil Spiderman costume.
Selfie drone Hover Camera from Zero Zero Robotics
Selfie drone Hover Camera from Zero Zero Robotics
Selfie drone. As if selfie sticks weren’t annoying enough.
Nemonic printer
Because you always wanted to be able to write notes on your phone and instantly print a black and white copy on a sticky note.
Oombrella smart umbrella
Oombrella smart umbrella
The $79 Oombrella from Wezzo tells you when it’s raining outside. This is useful if you have it with you. When it’s raining outside.
Oria sleep scent emitter
Oria sleep scent emitter
Oria emits “soothing” scents while you sleep with the purpose of helping you go into a deeper, more restful sleep. It’s like having a gassy spouse in the bed, but in reverse.
Catspad smart food and water dispenser
Catspad smart food and water dispenser for cats is kinda cool, but your cats won’t appreciate you for it. Or anything else.
iderma laser facial mask
iderma laser facial mask
Want a facial but don’t want to go to the spa? Try this laser facial, as long as you’re not claustrophobic and don’t mind wearing what looks like a shield on your face.
Bloomlife connected pregnancy contraction device
Bloomlife connected pregnancy contraction device
This one is aimed at pregnant women who want to know if those movements are contractions or simply heartburn from too many tacos the night before. But it seems like a device that might simply cause a mom-to-be something else to obsess over during pregnancy.
Live by EarlySense sleep monitor
Live by EarlySense sleep monitor
Big brother, or someone, is watching. With EarlySense, you put a sensor in the bed with your elderly parent, or child, and you can monitor their sleep from afar.
CT Band
The CT Band advertises itself as being able to turn any traditional watch into a smartwatch. The question is, why would you want to add this clunky, thick band to your old watch when there are so many great new smartwatches at affordable prices?
Mars by Crazybaby
Mars by Crazybaby
Sure, it looks cool. But does anyone really need a levitating speaker?
TanvasTouch
TanvasTouch texture haptic feedback makes users think they’re touching fabric even though they’re on a tablet.
Kolibree toothbrush with AI
Kolibree toothbrush with AI
This is the first toothbrush with artificial intelligence. It really seems to be more tech than you need to brush your teeth.
HairMax LaserBand 41 hair growth device
HairMax LaserBand 41 hair growth device
Ready to grow new hair? This device claims to do it. Just don’t let anyone see you wearing it.
Lovebox connected wooden box
Lovebox connected wooden box
You can use Lovebox to secretly send messages to a loved one. Or you could send an email, if you don’t want to go to the trouble of buying a Lovebox and setting it up. Or text. Or call.
Griffin connected toaster
Finally, the solution to all your toast problems. The $100 Griffin Bluetooth-connected toaster allows you to adjust the setting for your toast via an app.
