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Hardware

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

By Bill Detwiler April 23, 2008, 4:51 AM PDT Bill Detwiler on Twitter billdetwiler

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Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Safest way to buy online by credit card

Safest way to buy online by credit card

VISA – It’s just everywhere! Trying to buy something on-line, I suppose. No wonder it didn’t work – note the card hasn’t even been activated yet.

From 1994 to 2002 Rod Shelley worked as a PC technician at a major computer retail store in the US. After seeing all kinds of wacky, operator-induced computer issues, Shelley decided to start documenting them. He wanted to inject a little humor into the often-frustrating world of technology and hopefully educate a few of the technically clueless along the way.

In 2000, Rod published his collection of humorous photos online under the title “Stupid Computer Tricks”. In 2002, his gallery turned into an overnight success. Unfortunately, due to bandwidth concerns and a series of hosting problems, Shelley was forced to take the gallery down.

Lucky for us, Rod has graciously allowed TechRepublic to republish his photos. I’ve added titles to most of the photos, but the captions come straight from Rod. You can learn more about Rod and read his musings about photography, technology, and computer repair on his Web site–Rod’s Lair.

Note: TechRepublic first published this photo gallery on April 24, 2008.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

The more modems the better!

The more modems the better!

Here’s a new activity – let’s see how many modems we can load into device manager. Maybe we can load more web pages this way?

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Two CDs is better than one

Two CDs is better than one

Save time – insert two CDs at the same time!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Unfriendly autoexec.bat

Unfriendly autoexec.bat

The autoexec.bat file isn’t used much anymore in these non-DOS days. This one was used once. If I was this guy, I’d take stock of my circle of friends.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

When in doubt - yank out the cord

When in doubt - yank out the cord

This poor sap couldn’t figure out how to unplug the telephone line from his modem. Solution? Just yank out the whole connector block. Then, get a shock when the service center won’t cover the modem under warranty!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Insert CD into drive D and a half

Insert CD into drive D and a half

What was the complaint here you ask? It “Won’t read CDs…” Gee – I wonder why? “Insert CD-ROM in drive Du00bd:”?

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

The front cover won't fit (1 of 2)

The front cover won't fit (1 of 2)

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

This front cover won't fit (2 of 2)

This front cover won't fit (2 of 2)

This is what happens when you replace an OEM drive with a standard one!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Rubber band floppy drive

Rubber band floppy drive

This laptop floppy drive was “choking” on a large rubber band!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Uhhh.....Is this an error?

Uhhh.....Is this an error?

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Just a little dust

Just a little dust

“Grampa Computer” appears to need a shave! This was brought to the service center because the floppy drive was intermittent. I can’t imagine why.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Desktop icon overload

Desktop icon overload

“Wadd’ya mean ‘out of memory?’ I still have some room on my screen!”

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Shattered laptop screen

Shattered laptop screen

The owner of this shattered laptop was actually expecting this to be covered under warranty!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Two My Computer shortcut too many

Two My Computer shortcut too many

Three shortcuts – all to the same place! Just in case they get confused…

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Antistatic bags? We don't need no stinking antistatic bags!

Antistatic bags? We don't need no stinking antistatic bags!

This motherboard was mailed to our service center in this nice box–wrapped in a plastic bag and cushioned by static-generating foam! The letter asked us to check the board for problems. If it didn’t have any problems before, I’m sure it does now!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Mysterious black spots

Mysterious black spots

The story on this one? “I don’t know what did this. It was fine, then the next morning, it looked like this!” Right. A gnome crept inside the case, and exploded during the night.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Why use two screws when one will do?

Why use two screws when one will do?

Here’s an elegant example of precision hard drive mounting. Hey, it saved 20 cents on screws!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Floppy drive slot machine

Floppy drive slot machine

Uh, sorry, guy. This is NOT the right slot for this casino token! My service manager was watching over my shoulder as I removed this rattling floppy drive from an ailing computer. I shook the drive, and this token fell out. the manager just walked away shaking his head.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

What? You can delete shortcuts?

What? You can delete shortcuts?

Here’s a variation on the multiple shortcuts idea. I guess this is in case they get confused?

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

AOL's biggest fan

AOL's biggest fan

This person really, really, really likes AOL. Really. What they lack in knowledge, they make up for with persistance. Also, note the colorful status bar at the bottom of this screen shot (yes, I know it doesn’t hurt anything, but it just looks funny!).

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Insert Tab A into Slot B

Insert Tab A into Slot B

I don’t think there’s going to be much data transfer on this guy’s network – at least not from this computer. I hope his IT department wasn’t responsible for this!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelly

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Floppy disk label lock

Floppy disk label lock

Here’s another “floppy drive won’t read…” problem. Note the disk label. Note the label sealing the disk’s protective access cover shut. His Quicken data should be quite safe.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Duct tape that hard drive

Duct tape that hard drive

Can’t get the IDE cable to reach the hard drive? No problem–remember, you can fix anything with duct tape!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Lipstick laptop

Lipstick laptop

Okay – I have NO idea what was behind this one. The red stuff was semi-gooey, like lipstick. Either the kid got into some mischief, or someone ticked off the girlfriend/wife/significant other.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

It's a 3.5 floppy/mini-CD combo drive!

It's a 3.5 floppy/mini-CD combo drive!

Yet more floppy torture. This is almost understandable, but still, there’s a reason floppy disks look the way they do, and CDs look the way they do. Duh! That little indentation on the CD drive tray really isn’t for holding your coffee! It’s for those 3-inch mini-CDs! Roo-Hoo, Scooby-Doo!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

An IDE cable to nowhere

An IDE cable to nowhere

This one came in for “Operating system not found.” Please note the two blue sockets on the motherboard at bottom center. Note that these are the IDE controller sockets. Note the black socket next to them. That is the floppy drive cable socket. Note that there are no cables in ANY of them! Note the IDE cable going from the hard drive to the CD ROM drive – and nowhere else!

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

Not-so-cool PC case mod

Not-so-cool PC case mod

This is one of those half-size cases. Wanting an add-on (full-size) sound card, this ingenious owner decided to do a little “modification” on the case. Still can’t use the game port, though! Try ARC-welding it next time.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

Computer bloopers and blunders from the technically clueless

PC repair Jedi

PC repair Jedi

Rod continues his fight against the dark side.

Credit: Reprinted with permission from Rod Shelley

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By Bill Detwiler
Bill Detwiler is the Editor for Technical Content and Ecosystem at Celonis. He is the former Editor in Chief of TechRepublic and previous host of TechRepublic's Dynamic Developer podcast and Cracking Open, CNET and TechRepublic's popular online show.
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