Cable Lasso

Cowboys need their lassos. They have cattle ropin’, and the like, to do. IT workers though, generally have little need for lassos. Luckily, if the need ever arises, here is a ready made fiber cable lasso ready for that big ‘ol IT roundup.

Leaning Tower of Servers

The leaning tower of Pisa is one of the most recognized landmarks in the world. People the world over travel just to catch a glimpse of it. Why not recreate that feeling in your own server room with the Leaning Tower Servers! All that’s needed is to use racks that are too long for some of your servers, so that only one end can be attached and then stack the servers right on top of each other, and WHAMO instant Leaning Tower of Servers! Tourists will be beating a path to your server room door!

Wall o' Power

Having your power cords off the floor is good. No accidental kicking out of power cords, no IT personnel flying through the air into a server rack; it can be a beautiful thing. Placing your power at perfect waist level though–where every IT person’s utility belt of electronic gadgets will constantly batter against the cords–not such a great idea.

Rack Monitor

KVM’s are a pain in the you-know-what. Why bother with all that painful switching, when you can now buy the RACK MONITOR 2006! With this huge leap forward in luddite technology you no longer need to deal with the slow death of KVM’s. Now you can just simply move RACK MONITOR 2006 to the location needed, plug in the easy use VGA and power cables and BLAM an instant monitor for your servers.

Keyboard and Mouse 2006 sold separately.

Dust Mystery 1

WHAT?!!?!?!?! Why is there a mysterious dust covering the top of a server? Where did it come from? How did it get there? Is it growing? Is it the beginning of a new sentient dust/server hybrid life form?

Dust Mystery 2

What’s this? The mystery dust is also on top of the rack, along with the apparent archeological remnants of a previous technological area. They mystery deepens..

Dust Mystery 3

AH HA! There’s the culprit. Someone (who’s name is being withheld to protect the guilty) cut new wiring holes in the ceiling over the rack, without using any method to catch the dust! OK, he did use the “this fancy rack thingy here will catch the dust” method, but that hardly counts.

Cable Waterfall

The wonders of nature are truly beautiful to behold. Why not attempt to recreate one in your server room?

Here we present to you the Cable Waterfall. Notice the gentle drifting of the brightly colored cables as they flow to the floor. Be amazed at the up and down roping as it sways gently in the A/C breeze. Stare longingly as you wish to dive into it, and feel its ropey texture against your skin.

Cord to no where

(Sung to the tune of Ozzy Osborne’s classic The Road to Nowhere)

?Ah ah
?The cord to nowhere’s gonna pass here by
?Ah ah
?I hope we never have to say goodbye
?I never want to live without you

?Chorus
?The cord to nowhere leads to here
?The cord to nowhere leads to here
?The cord to nowhere leads to here
?The cord to nowhere leads to here
?The cord to nowhere leads to here
?The cord to nowhere leads to here
?The cord to nowhere leads to here

Proper Placement

While every effort should be made to maximize your space in your server room, there are some shortcuts that should, perhaps, be avoided. Sitting your equipment on cables, even if you do it gently, can NEVER lead to anything good.

Guardian

Run Away. Run Away. It’s the legendary guardian of this dread domain Cableus. Its fearsome multiple tentacle attack will sap the strength of even the bravest server monkeys. There is only one known method of defeating it…

Water from the gods

You must call upon the blessed water from the gods, which can only be used in the direst emergencies. The power of this water is such that even a single shower of it could destroy this entire infernal realm. There is nothing here that can stand up to its power, and its mere presence above is enough to keep all of the other denizens of this plane in place.