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A Monday Ha-Ha

By JimHM ·
Hillary and Chelsey Clinton sitting at the dinning room table one evening - doing their Mother Daughter thing.

Hillary - So Chel's you've been away at college for some time now, have you started having sex yet.

Chelsey - Well mom - not according to Dad!

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Well

by Oz_Media In reply to A Monday Ha-Ha

It ain't Friday but tomorrow's a stat so I'll let it go, THIS TIME!!

Thx Jim

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Another old one but worth a grunt at least

by Oz_Media In reply to A Monday Ha-Ha

Bar Talk

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting there. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling at the top of her lungs,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." He studies her for a second, then he yells at the top of his lungs....
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 200 BUCKS!?!?"

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Man List - Tired of Hearing the Woman's list

by JimHM In reply to A Monday Ha-Ha

Men's list

Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! They're ALL important and not in priority order.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a grown woman. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be, just accept it.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

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