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A Monday morning funny

By PurpleSkys ·
Tags: Off Topic
Two young businessmen in Texas were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall.

As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks
set up.

One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to
walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to
the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud
voice asked, "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling a$$-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well. Only two left."

Seniors -- don't mess with them, They didn't get old by being stupid!

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by robo_dev In reply to A Monday morning funny

It's not that senior citizens drive too slow, it's that those who drive slow survive to be a senior citizen.

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- nt

by PurpleSkys In reply to LOL
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Nah, it's just that the parts for them old cars are too hard to get

by Deadly Ernest In reply to LOL

now, so they go slow to minimise damage if hit and thus make the car last longer.

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DE Obviously

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Nah, it's just that the p ...

You have not been to any Classic Race Meetings lately.

OK so nor have I but the last one I went to had a Vincent Black Shadow which had been sold on the proviso that it's previous owner could race it at the last race meeting that he was allowed to compete in before the authorities canceled his competition license because of his age.

He wrapped the Vincent up in a ball on the last race coming out of a corner way off the Tarmac with the front wheel at least 2 feet off the ground and going as hard as the Poor Little Vinny could go and that isn't really slow I might add.

I still remember the young guy who had bought it having a fit looking at the wreckage and the Old Guy saying No Problem I'll have it running next week. They guy who bought it never rode it again because of the possibility of damaging it. The Old Owner didn't loose a single race when he didn't break it.

However the V16 Maserati was more of a Issue to me as it's owner driver destroyed the motor in a very big way while way out in front. That looked really expensive to me with lots of Hand Made Parts being required.

I'm however Growing Old Disgracefully so maybe I'm the wrong person to look at when it comes to things like this. :^0 :^0


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Saturday morning giggle

by PurpleSkys In reply to A Monday morning funny

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers on their way to classes.

As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies."

The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue.

A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them with "Good morning Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you the wisdom for our students today."

"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you and may God be with you."
But again after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed today."

Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more pleasant.

Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As Sister Mary was Rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face before greeting Sister Mary.

"Good morning, Sister Mary, I'm so happy to see you up and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a wonderful day."

"Ah, good morning, Mother Superior. I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."
Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done wrong?" I have tried to be pleasant but three times already today people have said that about me."

Sister Mary stopped her walker and looked Mother Superior in the face.

"Oh, don't take it personally, Mother Superior. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers.."

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by AnsuGisalas In reply to Saturday morning giggle
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Something from the last week

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to A Monday morning funny

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex ... She spent the next
hour just rubbing his testicles ...
Something she just loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her,
"Why do you love doing that?"
Because ... She Replied ...

I Miss Mine

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You best watch out now

by AV . In reply to Something from the last w ...

HaHaHa that is funny is ****, Hal! The Wizard is going to get you with his delete button.

AV :^0

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That couldn't happen to me

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to You best watch out now

Surely. :^0

Besides I could return the favor and delete every one of his posts.

However it's more fun for me at least chasing Jason around deleting every post he makes.


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sounds like someone already had the delete knife - nt

by Deadly Ernest In reply to You best watch out now

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