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By Surflover ·
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questions without answers

by Surflover In reply to A questions blog

Why do women ask their men questions that there is no right answer for? e.g.

Do you thinks she's prettier than me? (might as well just pack your stuff)...
Which shoes look better? (like we'd even notice if they had shoes on)...
Does this (dress, pants, skirt, shirt, etc.) make me look fat? (I don't even need to comment)
Do you know what today is? (this one's particularly scary, as you have till the end of the day to try and figure it out)

and my all time favorite...

Notice anything different (I usually go for the hair, but am probably only batting about .300)?

any others?

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I don't get it...

by Surflover In reply to A questions blog

Aggressive women… I don’t mean physically (well kind of)… I’m posting this more as a confused thought than a rant… The strangest thing has been happening to me lately… young attractive women have been coming on to me in the most unusual places (Home Depot, Wal-mart, the drug store, the grocery, etc.)… like any guy would I’m not complaining… I just can’t figure it out… I’m not that attractive (5’5”/150 lbs., I am in shape ‘cause I workout every morning but I doubt anyone would think I’m “buff” as one of my girlfriends calls it)… I know there are a lot more single women in the Atlanta area than single men, but I’ve never seen or heard of this happening… (I came up to Atlanta from the keys to look for a new job a few months back and am staying in a house I used to rent)… The thing that is most amazing to me is their age… I’m in my 40’s and most of these are girls in their mid 20’s (although a couple were probably mid 30’s)… Is this happening to any of the rest of you?... or to the females in the crowd, is this something that you do too?... some have been unwilling to accept no… a girl yesterday struck up a conversation with me while I was in Home Depot buying lumber (I’m renovating my rental house while I’m job hunting) and asked me out for drinks after work (she was on her lunch break)… I declined and thanked her and was flattered, and told her I had a girlfriend… her comment… “well I’m not going to tell her”… how does anyone maintain fidelity with this happening?

… of course, I wouldn’t even be questioning this at all if I wasn’t attached… I’d probably think I was the luckiest guy in the world and be jumping right in :-)

And the corollary: If I wasn’t with someone, not only would this never happen again, but I probably couldn’t pay a girl to go out with me. :^O

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I don't get it...

by jdclyde In reply to I don't get it...

They can smell it on you.  A kept man that isn't looking is
exactly what they are looking for.  Thrill of the hunt sort of
thing.<br />
<br />
When you are single, you have a different look about you that works as a woman repellent.<br />
<br />
Take it in stride, be gracious and be faithful.<br />

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I don't get it...

by jardinier In reply to I don't get it...

What I am about to say has no relationship whatsoever to any system of
morality, but is the view I have arrived at after looking back over my
life, which has consisted of a large number of relationships.<br />
<br />
Firstly let's talk about fidelity. In each of my serious relationships
(which included a marriage and a de facto) I remained faithful but in
the end it was the girl who was unfaithful to me. So much for my
fidelity being appreciated.<br />
<br />
There are two things in my life that I regret: (1) not being taught to
brush regularly and generally look after my teeth (hence extractions,
root canals, innumerable fillings and a cost which I don't care to
think about). (2) Not taking advantage of every opportunity for a
sexual encounter that was offered to me. As these many opportunities
did not for the most part occur during the periods that I was in a
relationship, fidelity was not usually the issue. It was moralising or
fear of rejection and various other factors which caused me to turn
down very blatant invitiations. And to rub salt in the wound, in almost
every instance of a blatant offer which I didn't respond to, the girl
was very attractive with a perfect body.<br />
<br />
You haven't indicated the status of your current "attachment," but you
haven't referred to marriage or a wife so I don't know if you are in a
relationship that you regard as permanent. Perhaps your partner will be
unfaithful to you -- who knows?<br />
<br />
Now based on my own experience, do you think it is possible that in 5
year's time, or 10 year's time, or 20 year's time, you will look back
and KICK YOURSELF for not taking advantage of these offers that are put
to you? <br />
<br />
Especially now that I am rather long in the tooth (64), and not being a
pop star, sports star or a billionaire, there is absolutely NO WAY that
these opportunities are going to come my way again. So I severely
regret not having taken advantage of these many offers which, with only
one or two exceptions, did not involve infidelity. <br />

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I don't get it...

by Ldyosng In reply to I don't get it...

Welcome to our world. Women live with this kind of behavior every day of their lives. Even ugly women get hit on fairly regularly. We have to constantly evaluate the extent of our committment, as offers to violate it come along so often.  At the end of the day, the decision can be based only on what you hold to be important. To whom have you made your committment, to yourself, or to your mate? I used to think it was to my mate, then I experimented outside of a relationship and discovered that I didn't like how I felt about myself, even though he would never know unless I told him. I now understand that I make my committments to myself - because I value myself and my feelings. I hold steady no matter what alternate opportunity comes my way. Not because "he" will know, but because "I" will. If I don't honor myself, I have precious little honor to offer anyone else, especially someone who trusts me. ~ T ~

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responsibility for other people's kids...

by Surflover In reply to A questions blog

Other peoples kids…

I noticed quite bit of discussion on taking responsibility for other peoples kids in the marriages these days discussion (i.e. the single mother comment by girli, and the many responses along that line in the thread), and was going to post this there but decided it’d be better off here in my blog…

In 1981, I adopted 4 little girls who were abandoned by their parents, age 4, 2, 2 and 13 months respectively. At the time I was dating a girl from health and human services (I think that was the organization), and she talked me into participating in a “sponsor day” where you’d take some kids from the shelter to the state fair for the day… I stumbled into the place and found these four beautiful little girls all dressed alike (obviously sisters), and decided to take them (I guess nobody had taken them ‘cause they were so little)… by the end of the day the oldest (Jessica) tugged on my sleeve, looked up at me with the most incredible face and asked me if I would be her new daddy… it broke my heart… and when I found out their parents whereabouts were unknown and the girls would have to be separated and sent to foster homes, I applied to adopt them (I have always prided my self on thinking all serious decisions through prior to making them, but this was the exception)… to make a long story short, my girlfriend pulled some strings, and because I had a good paying steady job, a big enough house and 2 paid off cars, (and there was no one else in line to even take them as foster parents), they got it pushed through.

There were plenty of times when I looked back and asked myself what the f^%$ was I thinking… ESPECIALLY when they were teenagers :-)… and as you might imagine, there was a lot of total chaos… there were trips to the E.R. (Kristy was quite a tom-boy), dance lessons, soccer, cheerleading, and a lot of other stuff that most guys don’t normally have to deal with… there was a lot of upside too… with so many mouths to feed, I had to learn how to cook, and actually got quite good at it… and we had a lot of fun together, backpacking in the smokies, beaching it in Hawaii, camping on the beach along the gulf coast, tubing down the Muskegon river at my parents cottage… and now, the rough times don’t seem to have been as rough, and I have a grandson who’s 2, and another on the way (due on my birthday in January)… and I have a lot of people around me that I love and love me … you cant ask for much more than that… I even have a great relationship with all of my son-in-laws… well, I take that back, my youngest daughter’s first husband was a real loser, he beat her, and the rest of us had to intervene, but he’s gone now… Her current mate is a champ…

I have to say to the young man who posted he wouldn’t date a girl because she had a child, that he should stop focusing on himself long enough to realize that it’s not what you get that makes you successful (and happy) in life, it’s what you give. If you don’t believe me, volunteer to help out at a special Olympics event in your area (they’re ALWAYS looking for helpers), and see the joy that all the athletes have in simply participating, and when your done for the day, notice how great you feel… you didn’t get anything from the day except tired, but you did give to them… and they give back to you a joy that you’ll carry the rest of your life. :-)

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responsibility for other people's kids...

by jdclyde In reply to responsibility for other ...

Way to step up.  This is something that Draco has no concept
of.  Thinking of someone other than himself.  But like I
posted in that discussion it is all too common for people in his age
bracket to be "all about me" and each generation gets worse.<br />
<br />
The father of twin boys, I know just how much of a change kids make on
and to your life.  It isn't all easy but most things in life that
really are worth having are easy.  I look back at some of the
stupid things I USED to think were important to my life and don't even
recognise myself.<br />
<br />
I would bet this made a huge change on you as wall.<br />
<br />
Welcome to the TR family.<br />
<br />
jd<br />
<br />

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responsibility for other people's kids...

by Surflover In reply to responsibility for other ...

thanks JD, I couldn't even try to estimate the change... but as a single parent (especially of a dad with girls)... it was a barrel of monkeys... my daughters are awesome though, they have always thought of me as their dad, and I don't regret one minute of it (well maybe whe they were teenagers) HAHA...

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responsibility for other people's kids...

by M_a_r_k In reply to responsibility for other ...

Hey Surf.  Gosh, you're an OK guy! That's a great story. Very inspiring. If I were the sensitive type, I'd be shedding a few tears right now. I do have a small lump in my throat though. I hope its only my emotions and not that ol' tumor (j/k about any tumor).  I don't know of many single guys who would dare do what you did.  As a matter of fact, I don't know any. Myself included.  ****, you've made me feel like a loser. I've been a taker and not a giver most of life. Crap...now I actually have to respect you. haha   You saved the lives of four children.  That's something you can forever be proud of and the girls will forever be thankful for.  I'm glad it has all worked out.  It's so cool that the four of them had the chance to grow up together instead of being dispersed to parts unknown.  High five to you!

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responsibility for other people's kids...

by Surflover In reply to responsibility for other ...

thanks M_a_r_k... you like to think you're a loser, but under all that callous BS, you've got a big heart and it shows in your posts (for those of us who can read through the sarcasm :-))... I'm no saint, in fact I'm the one who got the big end of the stick... I have a big *** family who is very close, and we all have a great time together... and although the girls can be the most unbelievable B!tches (all women can :-))... they're still the coolest bunch of B!tches I know :-)... I'm very lucky, or blessed if that's your bent...

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