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Another Friday another yuk!!!

By sleepin'dawg ·
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A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat
conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the
opportunity, he took the seat.

As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind
him yelled, "YEAH BABY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!"

The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look.
A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched
off her top, revealing two pasties. The guy behind our friend
goes off again. "YEAH BABY! SHAKE THOSE THINGS."

Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!"

After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched
off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string. Again the man
behind our friend yelled out, "OH BABY! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!"

Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the
**** up, will ya!"

A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and
snatched off both the pasties and the G-string, and the whole
club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious,
our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your
enthusiasm now"?

The guy responded, "It's on your back, dude."

Dawg ]:)

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And now for something completely different.

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to Another Friday another yu ...
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Just a bit of corrective surgery

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

When Ralph first noticed that his ***** was growing larger and
staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But
after several weeks his ***** had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a
prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the physician explained to the
couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be cured
through corrective surgery.

"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised
doctor.

"Well," said the wife coldly, "You ARE planning to lengthen his
legs, aren't you?"

Dawg ]:)

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Two Aberdonians (...erm, from Aberdeen, Scotland.)

by OldER Mycroft In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

Two Aberdonians, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Fermers bar, drinking beer. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "You know, I'm tired of goin' through
life withoot an education. The morn, I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."
Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets the Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes: maths, english, history, and logic.
"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's 'at?"
The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"
"Aye"
"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a Garden."
"That's true, I dae huv a Garden."
"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Aye, I do have a hoose."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"I huv a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Aye, I dae huv a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out all of that because I have a strimmer." Excited to take the class now,Tam shakes the Lecturer's hand, and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub.
He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for maths, English, history and logic.
"Logic?" Shuie says, "Fit's 'at?"
Tam says, "I'll show you. Do you have a strimmer?"
"No."
"Then you're a poof."

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Entries from a new financial dictionary:

by critch In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

Broker: What my stock adviser has made me

Standard & poor: Your life in a nutshell

Cash flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

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:^0 :^0 <nt>

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to Entries from a new financ ...
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Sara Palin's Debate Plan Flowchart

by critch In reply to Another Friday another yu ...
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:^0 :^0 <nt>

by The Scummy One In reply to Sara Palin's Debate Plan ...
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My first one

by shanse3 In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

I've enjoyed reading the Friday Yuks, but haven't contributed yet. Thought today is as good a day as any.

Here are some short ones:

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Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, "You drive, I'll man the guns!"

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Two potatoes are in an oven. One says, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other screams, "Holy crap, a talking potato!"

---

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter, he ain't gonna come.

---

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

---

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take him for a drag.

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Groan :^0 <NT>

by sleepin'dawg In reply to My first one
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The potatoe joke will

by Dumphrey In reply to My first one

now irritate everyone I know all weekend long ]:)

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