Boxy seems to think I’m having some fun tonight, so I thought I’d spread the mirth a bit with this Anti-Telemarketing Counterscript to turn the tables on those annoying hordes that phone when you least want it (if ever!).
http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html
[u]It works something like this:[/u]
[b]Sales Drone (SD):[/b] Blah blah, in your area, free estimate, blah blah blah.
[b]You (reading from the chart):[/b] To whom am I speaking?
[b]SD:[/b] Fred Bloggs.
[b]You:[/b] Could you spell your name for me?
The scripted conversation will continue for some time, as you plough further and further into your script to discover such gems as “[i]how long have you been in the telemarketing business?[/i]”, “[i]How much do you earn?[/i]” and “[i]Do you get time off for going to the Dentist?[/i]”
The script even contains measures for when the caller fails to co-operate. For example, if they continue to ask questions, you’d respond: [b]”I can’t provide this information because I need unprejudiced answers.”[/b] If they want to know what happens to the answers, you say: [b]”I can appreciate your hesitation, but this is an important piece of information used for verification purposes and I will handle it with strict confidentiality.”[/b]
Finally, if (when) they get upset, you say: [b]”Do you have a problem answering questions to a stranger on the phone about which you don’t know the purposes?”[/b]
Obviously you need the time and inclination to do this, but by all accounts it can lead to memorable periods of great fun.
[b]RING DAMMIT !![/b]
