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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

By jfuller05 ·
I received this via email and I thought I would share with the TR world. It's actually pretty funny.


Here is a little test that will help you decide.


The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a
Kimber 1**1 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?


....................................................................
THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:


Democrat's Answer:

* Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
* Does the man look poor or oppressed?
* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
* Could we run away?
* What does my wife think?
* What about the kids?
* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
* What does the law say about this situation?
* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
* Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
* Should I call 9-1-1?
* Why is this street so deserted?
* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
* This is all so confusing!


.............................................................................

Republican's Answer:

BANG!


........................................................................

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... Click... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click..
Click.

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

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Being

by PSer In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Rep ...

a "Southern/Liberal/Democrat" ... with a CHL. I know, that if the man wielding a knife is closer than 20 feet (mere seconds), running at you, there is not enough time for you to draw, aim, and fire before he would be slicing away.

I'd start charging at him to give my family time. Attack with the verousity of a mother Bear protecting her cubs and not stop until one of us was dead. Or, until the wife had time to pull out her Kel-Tec PF9 and yell at me to drop!

Sterotypes, don't ya just hate 'em!

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haha no kidding

by jfuller05 In reply to Being

Stereotypes are hateful assumptions, but can be funny :).

I'm a Republican, I live in the South and I would shoot (if I had the time), but I wouldn't keep shooting and shooting and shooting; you get the idea.

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Chuckle ....

by Osiyo53 In reply to haha no kidding

Well, I'm neither a Democrat nor a Republican.

I thought the joke was funny, in that like many funny jokes its ridiculous.

But after chuckling about it, my next thoughts were of a more serious nature.

(1) Who cares if the guy charging at you is an Islamic terrorist or not? Who'd even think about that? Who'd care WHY he was charging you with a weapon? You're being attacked by a person with a deadly weapon. That's all that matters.

(2)Yep, if the attacker is close enough before you detect him and his intent, you may not have time to draw your weapon and get it into operation.

It takes some finite amount of time for one to recognize that there IS danger, some time for the brain to process the "fight or flight" debate that occurs in one's mind, and then some amount of time to actually get out the weapon and employ it. I'm presuming you're not actually walking down the street with a firearm in your hand ready to go.

I've BTDT. As a youth at one point lived in a not so nice neighborhood which had more than its fair share of thugs, bullies, and gang members. Got "jumped" on a number of occasions. By people using everything from hands and feet, to clubs, to knives, etc. Have been sliced and stabbed. Whacked over the head with a 2 by 4. Etc. And have returned the favor.

I'm also became a military combat vet in later years. As in up close and personal combat.

More than a couple times the only thing that saved me when surprised by an unexpected attack by an armed opponent, was some darn fancy footwork and dodging around like crazy while desperately trying to get my own weapon into action, if I had one.

Fast feet can sometimes be your best friend.

But other times, there are no better options than to just resolve in your mind to take the first blows, accept that you're gonna get hurt, but focus on continuing to get whatever weapon you have available into action ... regardless.

Unlike what is commonly portrayed in movies and on TV, one does not instantly die or become disabled upon the first knife slice or stab or hit by a bullet. Well, that's possible but highly unlikely. In fact you usually don't feel much pain in those first few seconds. I've been in fights where I didn't even realize I was injured until it was all over.

In the scenario proposed by the joke, if the guy was too close before I recognized his threat, I'd probably be had (hurting).

Simple as that. Nothing much else to do but to place self between him and the family. Dance around, dodge, maybe just plow into him as hard as possible to knock him off balance (down if possible) ... whatever just to give myself an extra second or two to get a weapon out. While focusing on ONE thing ... get the weapon out and KILL the SOB ... no matter what, no matter how badly I'm hurt.

BTW, for those of you who've had training in the martial arts. So have I. It's simple, the odds are you're gonna get cut and hacked no matter how good you THINK you are.

(3)The Southerner's Answer is funny. Made me chuckle.

But the truth of the matter is that both he and the Republican are making mistakes.

The Republican because he only shoots once.

Nope ... shoot the sucker til he stops, or better yet until he drops.

The Southerner because either he's a horribly bad aim and has missed far more than he's made a hit and HAS to reload and continue firing to get the guy to stop. Or he's let his emotions and hate take over and forgot to save some ammo and look around to see if another attacker is coming at him.

Or ... he was just so scared sh*tless that he doesn't even realize how many times he's fired.

I've seen that, too. It's actually pretty common.

Chuckle, I remember one time ... a long time ago and in a place far away. We were at our base camp (an advanced base), just returned from a day of patrol duty. And I was pulling my turn at guard duty. By this time I was considered one of the "old, experienced" guys. Having been there for long enough that I was nearing the end of my tour.

Anyway, we had this one guy also on guard duty who was new. And he was a "rover", who did regular walking checks of the fence line.

Despite various steps we took to detect, deter, or kill those trying to get up to the fence in the dark. Those sneaky, clever SOBs regularly found ways to do it. And would either set charges to **** a hole, or would cut through.

Anyway, this one night a group of em managed it. The new guy came up on his rounds just as a guy came through a freshly cut opening. Both were surprised as heck, and both cut loose with their weapons.

I happened to be close. As a senior type, I routinely made randomized checks of fixed guard posts, the rovers, etc. Never set a pattern for my movements, nor a predictable time schedule. That's a great way to end up playing dead cockroach ... setting a routine pattern.

Quiet, calm, boring night. Then suddenly bullets are flying. I ran up to the scene to find the new guy stiff, shaking, white in the face, weapon pointed at a bad guy on the ground. My eyes went from that to the fence, and the hole in it. I took a firing stance and yelled at the new guy, "RELOAD !". He was standing there like a darn statue, a shaking statute.

I yelled the same command a couple times before I finally got a response from him. A murmured, "I'm okay, I've still got rounds."

I moved over and whacked him up side the head and demanded, "RELOAD ! Dammit, there might be more of em out there."

He finally did change mags. And looked surprised to find the old mag was empty. Which I figured it had to be given the number of shots I'd heard. Empty or nearly so.

That was all that happened that night. Evidently the bad guy's buddies took off when the shooting started.

But later I talked to the new guy and he didn't remember firing more than 3-4 times. Nope, he'd emptied his magazine.

Not that I was faulting him. BTDT, myself.

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Never know

by jfuller05 In reply to Chuckle ....

how much you're really firing a gun or how you're literally beating person to death until you come out of the "shock" of physical confrontation. I have been in a few skin-on-skin fights, but never any fights with weapons.

Sounds like you've had an interesting life. My buddy was in Army Infantry. I respect you guys and all the men and women in the military.

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None of the above

by NickNielsen In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Rep ...

I'm not stupid enough to walk down a deserted street in Baghdad with my wife and family...without something more substantial than a 1**1, no matter what the load.

A TEC-9, SAW or squad of Marines would do.

etu

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This

by PSer In reply to None of the above

"deserted street in Baghdad" ... was not part of the question.

Just sayin' ...

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The entire scenario is fantastical

by NickNielsen In reply to This

That some expect personal feelings or political leanings to trump the instinctive urge to protect family only spotlights their lack of conprehension.

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agreed - nt

by PSer In reply to The entire scenario is fa ...
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Response to Nick

by Gh0stMaker In reply to The entire scenario is fa ...

Please go to Dearborn, MI - same scenario, lol

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Not familiar with the area

by NickNielsen In reply to Response to Nick

but shouldn't I worry more about an unemployed auto worker as I unlock my VW?

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