Hi all!
Thought I’d have a go at turning this Friday Yuk “pink” this week, in honour of our very own TiggerTwos’ walk.
It took me a while, but I did find some jokes with “pink” references, so here you go! :p
“Today in class”, said Mrs. Johnson the kindergarten teacher. “Were going to play a guessing game”.
“Ok here we go, its a fruit, its yellow, and tastes good”. Little Susie raised her hand. “its a lemon!” “No I’m sorry its a banana but I’m glad to se your thinking”
“Next one, its red, a fruit, grows on trees “. Little Fred says “Its a ball, “No its a apple but I’m glad to see your thinking”.
Little Johnny stands up and says “I got one, ok it long and hard, has a pink tip and is in my pocket.” “JOHNNY!” “That’s inappropriate.”
“It’s a pencil but I’m glad to see your thinking.”
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A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash. The barman says, ?Geez that’s a weird dog: he’s stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn’t have a tail. I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.?
50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.
Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.
Another trip to the yard and when it’s all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, ?Say what breed is that anyway??
The owner says, ?Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.?
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A lady walking down the street one day saw a man walking towards her. The man was talking to himself, waving his arms around his head and jumping up and down three times. He repeated this several times. The lady asked the man what he was doing? The man replied I am keeping the pink elephants away.
The lady replied, “Why? There are no pink elephants around here.”
The man replied, “I know, works great doesn’t it?”
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A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence. He pulls him out and says, “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.” The Mexican man pleads with him, “No, noooo, Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!”
The border patrol agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him, and says “OK, I’ll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence.”
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, “The three words are: green, pink and yellow. Now use them in one sentence.”
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, “Hmmm, OK. The phone, it went green, green, green… I pink it up, and sez yellow?”
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A young woman named Sally went to the zoo. While she was there, she saw a pink gorilla. Next to the gorilla?s cage was a sign that said, ?Do Not Touch! DANGEROUS!? She had never seen a pink gorilla before, and her curiosity got the best of her. Ignoring the sign, she looked both ways and made sure the coast was clear, and then she reached in and touched the gorilla.
She heard someone coming, and quickly withdrew her hand and kept on walking. That evening, after she had eaten her dinner, she was resting in her recliner watching the evening news. A warning flashed across the TV. ?Warning, Pink Gorilla escapes from zoo. If found, please call the zoo.?
Without knowing why, Sally immediately assumed that the gorilla was after her. Moments later, she heard a loud ?Bang! Bang! Bang!? on her front door. She got up, looked through the peep hole and saw the pink gorilla knocking on her door! She ran through the house, out the back door and into the garage. She jumped into her Mercedes and drove as fast as she could. The pink gorilla saw her leave and jumped into his green Ford truck and chased after her.
Sally looked through her rear view mirror and saw the gorilla quickly gaining on her. Soon the pink gorilla pulled up next to her. Sally slammed on the brakes, jumped out of her car, and started running. As she was running she saw that she was approaching the edge of a cliff. She stopped not sure what to do. She spun around and saw the pink gorilla lumbering after her? getting closer and closer.
As the gorilla approached her, Sally threw up her arms to protect herself ? the gorilla reached out its hairy pink hand and touched Sally?s head. Shaking a bit, Sally began to relax and slowly lowered her hands looking, perplexed, at the gorilla. The gorilla gave a little smile and said, ?Tag, you?re it!!!? and he dashed off.
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One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying.
?Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boohoo?.
?Don?t cry, little one?, replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his p?nis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn?t do, but if he saw the wizard, he?d fix things up for him.
So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew, only to discover a pink elephant.
The witch asked him why he was crying. ?Sniff. None of the other elephants will let me joint in all their elephant games. Boohoo?
Now if you have ever seen an elephant cry, you know it to be a pathetic looking sight, but a PINK elephant crying is just downright heart-breaking, and that is just how the witch felt. So once again, she waved her magic wand, and *POOF* the elephant was all grey.
All happy now, the elephant was checking himself all over when he noticed that his p?nis was still pink. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn?t do, but if he saw the wizard, he would fix things up for him.
At this point, the elephant just started wailing. ?I don?t know where the wizard is?, he sobbed.
The witch gave him instructions: ?It?s easy. Just follow the yellow pricked toad???????.?
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Good luck, Tig, although you don’t need it. We’re all “walking” with you.
Thanks again.
GG
